Relationship

“If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Romans 12:18 AMP One of my most liked posts on social media is:“You were never hard …

“Returning to God in Unity” Ephesians 4:1-6 Introduction Many fish species swim together in groups called schools to survive. The school creates a tight formation that moves swiftly in perfect …

Do you ever wonder if you’re praying the right way? Maybe you keep praying, but it feels like your prayers aren’t effective. In this message, we’re learning how to unlock …

This post was written by Dillon Smith, a Gen-Z team member at CareyNieuwhof.com who lives in Omaha, Nebraska. We’re so grateful to the Citylight team for making the time to share …

The day had finally arrived. Years. Now, I mean years had gone by…notwithstanding great disappointment. You see, this was a day of miracles. It shouldn’t even have been happened. Not …

When loss happens, bitterness wants to move in. Especially when your personal feelings of loss or emptiness come because of another person’s selfishness or irresponsibility, causing something in your life …

What is one way you have seen or experienced UNITY…? What about inside the church? Why would UNITY be important?  THE ORIGIN OF UNITY What is the ORIGIN of UNITY? …

What are you trusting God to do in your life today? Do you need to address some things in your health, break some old habits and start some new ones? …

Ours is a cocooning society. Politics and pandemics have isolated us. We sit dazed and mesmerized by our gadgets. But technology is no substitute for companionship. We have virtual friends …

Let’s start here. You’re leading in one of the most complex moments in generations. It’s not easy. Right now, nothing is easy. And with the Presidential election results being so …

“And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day.” Genesis 1:31 (ESV) Remember who …

Dr. Thabite Anywabile, author for the Gospel Coalition, wrote twelve practical ways to love those who disagree with us: Options for church unity are wider than we admit. After all, …

Lysa Terkeurst shares five principles that help you to process pain. Forgiveness is more satisfying than revenge. Our God is not a do-nothing God. Your offender is also suffering. The …

What does the Bible teach about political issues from both party sides? How do we understand our behavior as believers and our responsibility as citizens. God has a lot to …

What’s your go-to greeting? “Good morning!” “Hey!” “How are you doing?” “Grace and peace to you” was likely the most frequently used greeting offered by the leaders of the early …

If you feel disconnected, hopeless, or you just know something is missing—it’s not the end of your story. It’s an opportunity to reconnect. To find hope. And to rediscover what …

Conversations about race are hard, but they need to happen. How can we handle those talks—and our relationships, too—in a way that infuses them both with understanding and hope? Join …

We tend to view marriage through the lenses of consumerism. We live in a day and age where individual happiness is the ultimate value, so marriage becomes primarily an experience …

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;  it does …

A perverse man spreads strife, and a slanderer separates intimate friends. —Proverbs 16:28 Jesus made a remarkable statement concerning Judas. He said, “‘Did I Myself not choose you, the twelve, …

Shame. Shame is the fear of being unworthy, and it adversely affects our relationship with God, others, and ourselves. Shame makes us feel small, unwanted, and unloved. And if we …

The 3 P’s: Presence, Prayer, Practical Help are just the few ways you can be there for others. But more important than coming up with the 3 p’s for a …

‘Abba, Father,’ he said, ’everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.’” Mark 14:36 (NIV) Do you ever feel …

Is a lifetime commitment to a spouse even reasonable? Does permanence have to become a goal if it means a couple just has to grin and bear it? What if a …

  “Did God make them gay?” What a whopper of a question. I groaned a little bit inside as my inquisitive 13-year-old asked me this. He was peering over my …

  Adultery is devastating. In the aftermath of an adulterous affair, the offending spouse must first turn away from sin through repentance before God. But after such repentance takes place, …

THE ART OF FORGIVENESS Warren Wiersbe wrote in his commentary Be Skillful: “It’s strange but true that some of God’s people will forgive offenses from unbelievers that they would never …

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The last thing we want someone to say about us is that we are “super needy.” We want to be independent, self-sufficient, strong individuals. The idea of needing people and …

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How do we live in peace? James teaches us why we fight and how we make peace: “Mean-spirited ambition isn’t wisdom. Boasting that you are wise isn’t wisdom. Twisting the …

How do I deal with the loneliness of social distancing and home quarantine? First, look at your loneliness—look at it differently. Take the time you now have on your hands …

The truth is, we all have a sin problem. That’s why we need Jesus so much. But if someone you love is trapped in a pattern of sin or refuses …

“He also chose David His servant and took him from the sheepfolds; from the care of the ewes with suckling lambs He brought him to shepherd Jacob His people, and …

Everyday…I’m amazed at how crafty the Enemy of God is in his attempts to bring about the Christian’s destruction. It doesn’t matter if it’s discouragement, discontentment, doubt, fear, insecurity, worry, …

So all of a sudden you’re online like you’ve never been before. And now there’s a long road ahead. While no one knows exactly where all of this lands post-pandemic, …

A Unique Take on the Good Samaritan. Excellent illustrations!  

Have you learned to live an abundant life despite circumstances? God’s plan is to renew us. Every day is a new adventure. He renews our minds with his Word. He …

I was first introduced to the idea of courtship while reading The Mingling of Souls by Matt Chandler. I was automatically intrigued. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a …

Thirty-six times in the New Testament we see a recurring word pattern—an action verb followed by the words one another. In English grammar this phrase is called a reciprocal pronoun—I …

The way we raised boys in the faith 20 years ago eliminated many of the men Christian women would love to date today. Ladies, I feel your pain. The dating …

All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one. Matthew 5:37 We all know that community is important for mental health, but …

My Daddy was an extrovert. He never met a stranger. Dad, a consummate salesman, built a successful construction company from the ground up. Pop was a joiner! He served as …

If you have breath, you are the proud owner of conflict. It lurks around every corner of our days. I wake up first in our home. I get dressed and …

When we feel anger, our emotions tell us it’s 100 percent someone else’s fault. But James, the brother of Jesus, has something different to say. When we take a step …

I know a few jerks who have made it pretty far in life. To pretend otherwise would be a lie. Jerks occasionally win. They make lots of money. They get …

“Now is the time to cast off and throw away all these rotten garments of anger, hatred, cursing, and dirty language.” Colossians 3:8 NLT So much is changing so quickly in …

1.     Forgive Quickly. The Bible speaks of keeping “short accounts.” In other words, don’t hold on to anger. Keep your marriage “current” instead of bottling up past issues, only to release them …

God knows your need (and He’s the only one who can meet it). Instead of focusing on what I need, what I think, what I want, I’m changing my prayer. …

Do you dread Christmas? Or love it? Some people dread the holidays because family feuds abound. Is it “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year?” Well, it should be, and …

A mother asked, “Where have you been?” Her little girl replied, “On my way home I met a friend who was crying because she had broken her doll.”   “Oh,” …

“Therefore Hannah wept and would not eat. And Elkenah, her husband, said to her, ‘Hannah, why do you weep? And why do you not eat? And why is your heart …

“It is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment” (Philippians 1:9).   Remember that old Beatles song, “All You Need Is Love?” …

Countless American families hastily evacuated their homes due to fires, floods or hurricanes. The stories of their frantic retreats are remarkably similar. They rescue two things as they rush out …

We all have mental tapes that play over and over in our minds. If they are positive narratives, there’s no major downside other than they’re unnecessarily using up our brain-energy …

At many points after a loss, the mourning person can benefit from the support of others. Individual grief reactions can vary widely from person to person and also within the …

Are you an effective leader? If not, have you ever wondered why? As a leader, there are things you do every day. Some help—others, not so much. I’ve found that …

One of our favorite games as a family is called Oh Heck. You might know it as Up and Down the River. The reason this simple card game is so …

Jon Acuff writes a hilarious (but truthful) assessment about how churches treat singles: Single adults, I have failed you. Although I’ve written a handful of ideas about being single at …

I sometimes post pictures on Instagram of books that I’m reading, usually just a stack on my table to let my followers know what I’m thinking about at the moment. …

Dear Roger, From the time I was about 7 until I was a teenager my step dad … sexually abused me. … Even though I grew up abused I felt …

Proverbs 2:11: “Discretion will watch over you, understanding and discernment will guard you.” Lysa Terkeurst gives ten simple guidelines to help you navigate your decisions wisely:   Personal   1. …

God wants to bless every relationship you have! In John 15:13 Jesus says, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” Deborah Haddix …

I think I have been backsliding. I feel awful. How do I come back to God? Sincerely, Sad and Disappointed in Myself Dear Sad and Disappointed, The fact that you’re …

Though often well-intended, a commitment to being “color blind” becomes harmful when it fails to recognize the good ways God has filled the world with color. In other words, sometimes …

Many things in our culture  work against the maintenance of real community. We are conditioned in countless ways to think and act as individuals only, not as members of any …

Conflict is part of life. We can handle it in a godly way, or brush it under the rug. Dr. Caroline Leaf teaches us six ways to argue well. “Did …

Proverbs 16:32 says, “Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city.” “Self-control is often used to describe a favorable character trait in …

Maybe it’s your pastor. Maybe it’s someone in your Bible study. Maybe it’s a famous Christian in the news. They’ve sinned. They’ve said they believe one thing and lived like …

Affirming our grandchildren – it’s key: to building strong relationships, to discipleship, to passing the faith. Our words are powerful. When handled well, they can build up, encourage, communicate love, …

Did you know that every time a lion pride hunts together it is a lightly organized operation? They do not test their potential prey for weakness like other predators do. …

  Dear Roger,   Last week I helped lead my friend to Christ. It’s the first time I’ve ever done anything like that. She began crying as she confessed her …

She was beautiful. Not in the “everyone is beautiful” kind of way but in the really, really beautiful kind of way. She had long blonde hair, flawless skin, and style …

Social media is changing you and me in more profound ways than any of us imagine. Like a growing number of people, I’m increasingly concerned with how addictive tech has …

I have boys—a house full of them. I’m married to a mountain man of a husband who oozes testosterone and is super proud of his facial hair. Together we have …

Dear Roger, Recently, I hurt one of my best friends. We both said that everything was okay. But, it’s not. There is a wall between us that hasn’t gone away. …

I’m not sure if this is in a book somewhere, but it’s widely known that the easiest way to get out of a Christian dating relationship is to throw the …

Do you make and keep friends? How do you love your near ones? Lysa TerKeurst wisely advises us: “I remember sitting in the smelly middle school gym like it was …

Are you open to criticism? Do you listen when people oppose you or do you raise your defenses? Pastor Tim Keller shares his thoughts on handling criticism with grace: “Recently …

“Oh, the comfort — the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person — having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as …

How do you know if you are proud? Paul has the litmus test.    1 Corinthians 8:1-3   “Now concerning food offered to idols: we know that “all of us …

A few days ago, a friend texted me. Apparently a Christian band had been publicly ripping on him and he needed some advice. Now at the bare minimum, that’s not …

Here’s a question I am asked occasionally…Here’s my podcast with Doug:  Guilt drives a dad to worry about how to explain to his daughter that she was conceived before her …

Oftentimes, it feels like marriage is an expectation society has for each of us—as if marriage will make our lives complete. What happens when marriage doesn’t come quickly for us? …

Fifty-four percent of American couples are choosing to live together rather than to be married. We must ask ourselves: Which “benefits” of cohabitating are you most tempted to believe? How …

Introverts and extroverts — it seems like a useful designation for personality types. Even if they’re not biblical categories, they lead to an interesting conversation for Christians, and to this …

Among all in his era, Noah was the most godly. He alone was considered by the Almighty, blameless. In a time when terrible wrath was about to unfurl, Noah alone …

Dear Roger, I have been deeply offended because my spouse has been mistreated by a trusted friend and I can’t seem to get past it. How do I find it …

Rejection is a difficult thing to reason with. Truly, when we are rejected once, it hurts, and it often takes some time to get past the pain of that rejection. …

Is your marriage in trouble?  Many couples I see will inevitably tell me the tale of being in a sexless marriage for months, years, or decades. I smile and tell …

“Sometimes, when I consider what tremendous consequences come from small things, I am tempted to think…there are no small things.” — Barton The Space Shuttle Challenger disaster occurred when it …

Are you really excited about the holidays, or are you dreading them? Many people dread “family time.” Russell Moore writes: “We tend to idealize holidays, but human depravity doesn’t go …

I woke up in Hell. Really. It was that hot. Open heart surgery was finished and my thirteen-year-old body was racked with pain. It’s easier today. Open the chest and …

“Jesus didn’t claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death—and the worst kind of death at that—a crucifixion.” Phil. 2:8 MSG …

On more than one occasion, I’ve sat with people and listened as they described in detail how their lives are falling apart around them. As the tragedies unfold, I start …

These days there’s a lot of talk about “unity” in the church. On the one side, there are Christians who insist that any talk of “race” and racism threatens the …

Dear Reader, I receive a number of letters regarding Christians and politics. I hope my answers to several of them are helpful.   First, Is God a Republican or a …

Dear Roger, Please help me! My family and I belong to a church were cliques are always formed- even the leadership seem to be encouraging it. I’ve held on for …

The Knot recently did a study and found that over the past seven years, weddings in churches have dropped from 41% to 26%.[i] Wow. Did you hear that? Only a quarter …

The social networking phenomenon is accelerating at record speeds and isn’t likely to slow down any time soon. The Pew Research Center states the following statistics for 2018: “Some 95% …

I remember one couple, Bob and Mary, in their early 50’s, who came to see me for a psychiatric evaluation. They were both very polite and somewhat mechanical in their …

How many times have you been with someone and sensed a natural opening in the conversation to talk about the Lord, but you didn’t know how to begin or exactly …

Almost every sector of culture is hit right now with revelations about long-admired people revealed to have secret, disgusting lives. Almost every one of you will face just such a …

The Biblical-World View and the Non-Biblical-World View approach the sex issue from entirely different perspectives. One is founded upon a sexual ideology where anything goes. The other is designed to …

Mark Zuckerberg, the founder and CEO of Facebook, claimed that as church attendance declines, Facebook will become the new church for people, offering a sense of community and meaning.[i] But Facebook …

“I don’t know.” Often, when we don’t know something, we make stuff up. When we don’t know the answer to a question, we attempt to answer it anyway. Instead, we …

  Dear Roger, What’s the best advice you ever gave to your congregation to help them through the New Year? Sincerely, Phil   Dear Phil, I don’t suppose that I …

Our neighborhood kids are in their yards gleefully decorating for Halloween. Cardboard witches, ghoulish ghosts and sticky spider webs cover the lawns. I have nothing against candy. Give me a …

Why should churches engage in social media as an essential priority in reaching the world? As we develop a driving philosophy of why to take up the mantle of social …

What do you do when a non-believer asks you for prayer? Your co-worker has just shared with you that her son is battling a drug addiction. You press in and …

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” —Dale …

Did you know that your kids use anger to control the people around them? Anger may be a natural emotion, yet we have seen the devastating effects it can have …

I wish Christians would argue more. No, I’m not being sarcastic or saying this with an eye roll. I mean it. I want Christians to argue more and fight less. …

What if someone, especially someone you love, disappoints you with bad behavior? There are times when we the best of our logic fails to understand the worst of other’s behaviors.  …

Augustine and Aquinas—two of history’s most influential theologians—imagined that in Heaven people would focus exclusively on God and that relationships between human beings would be minimal or insignificant.[i] These great …

Then shall many be offended, and shall betray one another, and shall hate one another. . . . And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold” …

When we make New Year’s resolutions, we are usually quite sincere but idealistic. We promise more than we will realistically deliver, which sets us up for false guilt, toxic shame, …

This comprehensive study was jointly written by Matt Chandler and Geoff Ashley. Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Psalm 127:3 In …

  Our pets are precious to us. The Barrier family has owned a plethora of furry friends: a boisterous border collie, a cantankerous Corgi, a gregarious Golden Retriever and a …

If you could only tell your top leaders a few things, what would you tell them?  1. Your competency will take you only as far as your character will sustain …

Awkward. Mom and Dad sitting in the room. How do you have “the talk” with them: tough subjects no one wants to mention? John Piper writes: “So you’re a parent. …

Hi Roger, I often find myself bouncing between believing and not. Growing up I was shown what it was like to put up a false front so to speak. At …

Dear Roger, What happens to America in the end times? Sincerely, Peter Dear Peter, The quick and simple answer is that no one knows. However, there are some Biblical and …

Have you ever been in a volatile relationship? The word “volatile” means “liable to change rapidly and unpredictably, especially for the worse.” You may be sitting next to a terrorist: …

Racism isn’t just the presence of hatred-it’s the absence of love. How do we “neighbor” others? By recognizing our own prejudices, seeking to understand others, and by loving those different …

Peter teaches that we are a  “People Belonging to God.” The Greek word is best translated “possession.” We are God’s treasured possession. If you can view yourself as God’s treasure, you …

Dear Roger, My life is not turning out at all like I thought it would. I dreamed of marrying the right man, having a good job and a happy family. …

A few weeks ago, I told myself, “I am going to Internet so hard in 2015!” That wasn’t an official goal, but more of a statement you yell at your …

In Leo Tolstoy’s novel The Death of Ivan Ilych, the protagonist, Ivan Ilych, is a smart, competent attorney dying from an unknown cause. Tolstoy describes a scene in which Ivan …

Leaders have a number of key tasks if we are to operate out of high level of integrity. These include: 1. Confronting myself. Am I calm and clear about what …

A wealth of information about Hebrew custom, geography and history give amazing new insight into John 4.

Bless. Pray. Don’t retaliate. Give without expecting in return. Love unconditionally. That’s what Jesus would do. Preached at Bent Tree Bible Fellowship. Used by permission. Featured at Telling the Truth …

We must act upon our faith by loving our community and serving others well.

Cyberbullying is deliberately using digital media to communicate false, embarrassing, or hostile information about or to another person. Types of Bullying Online According to the Internet Safety 101 curriculum, there …

“When Jesus was preparing to return to his father, he commissioned his friends to go—to astronomically expand the impact of their lives.  He called them to action in Acts 1:8;  …

The late Christopher Hitchens quipped “…You can’t very easily invite somebody to your church and then to supper and inform him that he’s marked for perdition.” However much you and …

Why do we reserve romance for one day a year? If we want to “spice up” our love lives, we need to make every day Valentine’s day (at least as …

“I quit!” I told my husband. “I’m leaving our church. This church no longer brings me life. It brings me death. I am going to another church.” I had been …

Dear Roger, This may come as a shock but I was wondering, is it said in the bible that God knows everything? Or is it assumed? Because if God were …

“How was the night?” asked the nurse. The young man’s weary eyes answered the question before his lips could. It had been long and hard. Vigils always are. But even …

On October 22, 1976, Clyde Kilby, who is now with Christ in Heaven, gave an unforgettable lecture. I went to hear him that night because I loved him. He had …

Childhood nights: shadows on the wall, boogey-men in the closet, and scary things going bump. Conquering the boogey-man was pretty easy back then—all it took was a plaintive “Mommee” or …

Dear Roger, I am a devout Christian and my girlfriend is Mormon. We are getting closer to closer and have been dating about a year and have gotten through tough …

Male and female are co-reflectors of God’s image. Sexuality is the human derive toward intimate communion.

Christianity certainly takes its share of bashing in the news. While most of what we hear is politicized rhetoric, the damage is especially devastating when professing Christians themselves contribute rude …

  Solomon pens this psalm about building your life, enjoying your family, living protected and focusing on your priorities.

Pride and narcissism can cause us to lead empty lives. The prescription for pride is servanthood-the selfless, sacrificial investment of Christ-like love in the lives of others.

Can you protect your child? As parents we often want what’s best for our children – I love what Psychologist Jonathon Haidt suggest about hardships and how they shape us …

God communicates with us by the Bible, by reason, by godly counsel, by circumstances, by dreams, signs and wonders. He speaks Holy Spirit to human spirit. How do we know …

I believe it was Roger Barrier who I first heard point out that there are basically no functional families in the Bible.  That is absolutely the truth.  And to see …

Samson, the strong man from the Book of Judges is contrasted with John the Baptist, the prophet who prepared the way for Christ’s coming. One man lived out of step …

God created man with physical, spiritual and relational needs. Relational needs are to be satisfied by near ones such as spouses, family, friends and church members.

Bible study must include observation, interpretation and application, but must also include relational questions about intimacy with God and others.

Relational outreach involves personal connection, intercession, invitation, inclusion and instruction.

This lesson takes a fresh look at the Great Commission, Christ’s mandate to make disciples, and the transformation that must take place.

Dear Roger, I heard that it has been determined that all mankind is descended from one human mother. Is this the Eve of the Bible and does this prove that …

Paul poses four questions. If we are encouraged by Christ, can we give that same encouragement to others? If we are comforted by Him, can we comfort others? If we …

Here are thirteen sure-fire ways you can enrich your quiet time every day.. www.deborahhaddix.com.

We all deal with feelings of anger. In Matthew 5, Jesus gives us a model for handling anger. We must not belittle others, we must reconcile with those we have …

Seven biblical foundations for successful marriage include courtesy, romance, esteem, communication, time, and conflict resolution.

FRIENDSHIPS ARE ESSENTIAL TO LIFE From the beginning, in the Garden of Eden, God declared, “It is not good for man to be alone” even though He walked in fellowship …

Friends Tell Us The Truth Friends who have our best interest at heart can confront us when we need it. Solomon penned this powerful proverb about loving confrontation in Proverbs …