What are the building blocks that makes a Christian family different?
The Christian Family is a Display of:
…mutual submission (Eph. 5:21)
Since the Bible articulates the Christian’s understanding of the family, the Bible then guides the basic principles that each Christian should display. That leads me to this first point of display as mutual submission. Let’s start with the negative: the idea that marriage is 50/50. This notion is misleading. For one, its aim from the start is too short. Hoping to meet in the middle will usually lead to a lonely life. Second, it has a connotation of conditions. As in, “You scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours.” Mutual submission calls a godly man and a godly woman to go all the way regardless of the actions of the other. This calls both husband and wife to die to self.
…self-sacrificing love (Eph. 5:28-29; 1 Pet. 3:1-2)
Here, the apostles Peter and Paul establish the principles of self-sacrifice in marriage. To thrive in a marriage, the husband loves his wife in the same way he loves his body. For the wife to thrive in marriage she loves through trust represented in submission. To submit means to defer. This idea only makes sense of the family is understood to have roles and responsibilities that are different. We naturally understand roles within government, within education, and within the church. As roles within the family are understood, then the husband and wife operate as compliments not competitors. While there are varying seasons within a marriage, the predominant reality is that the wife is the helpmeet (Gen. 2:18) and the husband is the leader. In the same way different notes are played on the piano to produce harmonious music, the husband and wife fit into their roles as the sacrifice their desires and preferences for each other. The husband leads by laying down his preferences to serve his wife. The wife follows by laying down her preferences to submit to her husband. Self-sacrifice then leads to training children to follow the biblical model.
…intentional training (Prov. 22:6)
To train as a parent means that neither abdication nor allocation are primary methods of instruction. The family is where the training of children first occurs. The church, the Sunday school, or the private Christian school, etc. are not the replacement for family training, but reinforcement of family training. The practical reality is that the family is not able to train everything, but they are at a minimum involved in the training of their children.
…gentle understanding (1 Pet. 3:7)
Peter’s call to husbands is to have gentle understanding toward their wife and ultimately family. To be gentle is to bring strength under control. It’s a horse with a bridle. Without a bit, bridle, and reins the unharnessed power of the horse is enough to damage if not kill. In the same way, the husband must be a man who has control over his spirit (Prov. 16:32). To be understanding means to see the connections–the be able to answer the why (Prov. 14:6b). In the context of a marriage and family, the husband must not take words, actions, or responses out of context. He must be able to fit circumstances into a broader picture. He must focus on the forest and not just a tree. As he displays a gentle understanding, he provides stability and security to his family.
…Christ and the Church (Eph. 5:31-32)
The ultimate display of the family is the picture of Christ and His Church. Christ ascended and will return to bring His bride to Himself one day. In between these points in history, the Church is the vehicle through which mankind is being saved into one body (1 Cor. 12:13). Until Christ returns the family represents to a watching world the love of Christ and the Church. This is significant, because in heaven there is no need for the marriage display because the love of Christ and His Church will be consummated. It’s no wonder the Enemy is using all means to dismantle the family as lived out according to God’s Word. If he can dismantle the greatest display of love, then he can confuse or wipe out all together the greatest evangelistic witness—the Christian family.
Human Flourishing May Prevail
The concept of flourishing builds on a premise that the abundant life is intrinsic within each person and in the right environments it will not only grow but produce fruit. So long as the family has a husband and wife committed to displaying God’s love toward each other, they will live in as well as cultivate a place for children to grow in the most nutrient-rich soil.
The fruit of an abundant life blooms in the soil of a biblical family.