FRIENDSHIPS ARE ESSENTIAL TO LIFE
From the beginning, in the Garden of Eden, God declared, “It is not good for man to be alone” even though He walked in fellowship with Him. God determined that human companionship and friendship was one solution to address man’s aloneness. If we are to subsist well in life, we need God and other people to be our friends and guides. We can find these positive relationships in communities that God designed: family, marriage, work, church, ministry, and in other walks of life.
Throughout the scriptures we see how friends are essential, and what we can learn from them. Friends impact our lives both positively and negatively. Solomon had watched his father David amass a whole host of intimate friends during David’s life. The friendship between David and Jonathan, the son of Saul, was legendary (1 Samuel 18:1-4). In spite of the years that King Saul hunted down David like an animal, and Saul’s daughter Michal rejected David early in their marriage, David’s loyalty to Jonathan still gave the warrior king grace to show kindness to Saul’s family (1 Samuel 20:15). King David’s remarkable example of loyal friendship must have deeply impacted his son Solomon (1 Samuel 20:41-42).
- Do you have an intimate friend? How has that friendship impacted your life?
- Who has modeled deep friendship for you?
This devotional will consider Solomon’s perspective on the value of friendships, providing background information that will help you as you study Proverbs.
SOLOMON’S VIEW OF FRIENDSHIP
King Solomon penned these words in Proverbs 27:10:
“Do not forsake your friend and the friend of your father, and do not go to your brother’s house when disaster strikes you—better a neighbor nearby than a brother far away.” (NIV)
Solomon’s best ally was his neighbor King Hiram, the friend of his father David. 1 Kings 5:1 affirms this fact:
“When Hiram king of Tyre heard that Solomon had been anointed king to succeed his father David, he sent his envoys to Solomon, because he had always been on friendly terms with David.” (NIV)
As soon as Solomon ascended the throne, King Hiram of Tyre sent messengers to the young king to offer assistance and support. Hiram played a major role in supplying goods to build God’s temple.
Solomon had also learned from his father to be wary of his brothers. Adonijah, Solomon’s step-brother, tried to steal his throne by goading Bathsheba, Solomon’s mother, to wrongfully advise her son. Bathsheba asked Solomon to give Adonijah Abishag, one of David’s concubines, to be his wife. Solomon wisely saw the intrigue and explained to his mother that taking the wife or concubine of the king was a proclamation to the world that his cagey brother was claiming the throne of his father, King David (1 Kings 2:13-22). Solomon had learned to be wary of his brothers because he watched his older step-brother Absalom attempt to treasonously overthrow David years earlier (2 Samuel 16:21).
- Think about the people in your life who were trusted allies. How did they support you?
- Were you ever hesitant to trust someone? Why?
- What have you learned about relationships from watching your parents or significant role models?
FRIEND OR FOE?
In 2 Samuel 15:30-37, King David encountered a problem that caused him to feel heart-sick and angry. Ahithophel, who was his trusted counselor, betrayed the king by spreading vicious rumors about him, conspiring with Absalom against David. Tragically, some trees (friendships) wither and die. In 2 Samuel 15:30-31 we read:
“But David continued up the Mount of Olives, weeping as he went; his head was covered and he was barefoot. All the people with him covered their heads too and were weeping as they went up. Now David had been told, “Ahithophel is among the conspirators with Absalom.” So David prayed, “O Lord, turn Ahithophel’s counsel into foolishness.” (NIV)
David should have had the discernment to see that Ahithophel, Bathsheba’s father, might still hold a grudge. After all, David had committed adultery with his daughter and surreptitiously murdered his son-in-law, Uriah.
In contrast, King David had a friend who rose to the occasion like a strong sheltering tree to bring him comfort. Hushai the Arkite stood faithfully beside David throughout his reign. In 2 Samuel 15:32 we read:
“When David arrived at the summit, where people used to worship God, Hushai the Arkite was there to meet him, his robe torn and dust on his head.” (NIV)
Hushai was loyal to King David when many in Israel were ready to overthrow him. Hushai the Arkite is the good friend that David needed at that time in his life. He grieved with David. He met the King with his coat torn and dust on his head. Had he been in a fight? No! In ancient times men expressed grief, total bankruptcy of the soul, in this way. Hushai met David bearing the marks of compassion, and David was comforted and blessed (2 Samuel 15:13-37).
THE BLESSING OF FRIENDSHIP
Friends are compassionate and willing to do what needs to be done. Through their actions, we are assured that we are not alone.
- Recall a time in your life when you needed a friend to show empathy to you and they responded to your pain. How did their kindness make you feel?
- Have you suffered betrayal by a trusted friend? How did you get past the hurt? Did you mourn the hurt with someone and receive comfort, or did you minimize the pain and try to forget it ever happened?
- Can you remember someone who stood beside you when everyone else was against you? Does God have someone He wants you to stand beside and help now?
“It is not good.” These are words we don’t like to hear, yet God said that about Adam being alone. God takes friendship seriously. On Day Two we’ll look at the benefit of friends giving us good counsel though there is the risk they might betray us.
APPLYING THE TRUTH
Read I Samuel 15-19; I Kings 5:1; 2 Samuel 16:21; Proverbs 27:10; 2 Samuel 15:30-37; Proverbs 17:17; Proverbs 18:24
In the area below, write out the Scripture(s), thought(s), and question(s) from today’s devotional that you want to spend more time thinking about. What will you apply to your life?