Why do we reserve romance for one day a year? If we want to “spice up” our love lives, we need to make every day Valentine’s day (at least as much as possible!)
Love makes the world go ’round. Or so they say. And “they” also tell us that once a year we’re supposed to do something really nice for someone we love.
Who are “they?” You know, Hershey’s and Hallmark and every florist in the land. And that is one of the things I really dislike about Valentines Day. Out of 366 days you get this leap year, there’s only one little day for love? Call me hopelessly romantic–you wouldn’t be the first–but I think every day should be Valentine’s Day.
Before I go on and semi-eloquently describe Valentines Day, let me show you I can be practical.
If I were to get my wife a heart-shaped candy box from Walgreens, she’d probably hit me over the head with it. My wife’s idea of Valentine’s Day is a nice dinner out, just the two of us. As our children became adults I can recall double-dating for Valentine’s Day dinner. You are supposed to get smarter as you get older!
This year, I will take Mrs. Uppington out to one of those restaurants that I call, a 4 forker! But I don’t do it on Valentines Day, I will do it tonight, on Feb 13th. As for the flowers, once again she will get those sweetheart roses and, in all probability, they will be pretty pink. On Feb 14, prices aren’t inflated, reservations are easy to make, and well, I just like to do things differently!
If you take up my offer to do dinner on the 13th then some of you are asking well what do I do on the 14th?
Why don’t you do something you know your husband or wife would love. Maybe it’s hiring a babysitter to watch the kids so she can have a day to herself…a day without any demands upon her!
Or, think about what your husband would really like to do on Valentines Day. Guys are SO much easier to shop for that way. We like it free, fun, and frequent…if you catch my meaning.
But back to my point, Valentines Day ought to be every day in marriage. How could that be possible? Isn’t that terribly unrealistic?
Listen up, it’s the little things that count. You keep a marriage alive by:
> Tucking a little card in your husband’s luggage right before he leaves for a business trip.
> Writing a note in soap on the mirror where your lovely gets dressed in the morning.
> Being thoughtful and considerate everyday. You are at the grocery store — You got a cell phone! How much effort does it take to make a call “Honey, I am at the store, is there anything you need”.
> Washing her car for her…complete the job by vacuuming it out
> Putting a little money in her purse with a note attached to it.
> Making sure HE knows that you need him and want him.
> Going away for a night together!
> Sending a Valentine email that says, “Great news, the kids are at Grandmas house! I am waiting for you to get home!”
If your marriage is rocky right now, you might dread Valentine’s Day. As you look for that perfect card you are probably not going to find one that says “I am not sure we are going to make it, and I am fearful of what lies ahead.” But maybe you could be strong enough to find a cute little card that has no words inside of it. And maybe you could write a heartfelt handwritten message that says you wish things were different and you are willing and you to meet your spouse halfway, and that you want to try to make this week, month and year much different than last.
That would be a better than Godiva Chocolates, flowers, or boxer shorts with hearts on them! A lot of people are counting on you to stay married! As I have said many times, marriage isn’t easy, but it is simple… The truth of the matter is, it’s not a 50/50 relationship it’s 100/100!
So, I know it’s past Jan 1, but wouldn’t a good resolution be to make an effort to affectionally love your wife? You could love her better just by to listening to her and honoring her by looking her in the eyes while she’s talking (psst! No interruptions, eye-rolls, heavy sighs, etc.)
And wives, wouldn’t it be an equally a good idea to make sure that he feels needed and wanted by YOU?
When was the last time you looked in your husband’s eyes and told him how much you need him? Maybe you never have. But your husband needs to hear you tell him that you need him and don’t want to live without him. It probably doesn’t make as much sense to you, but guys need this stuff. It makes us feel respected and important in the eyes of our wives. Yes, that’s part ego, but you’re speaking to your man’s deeper needs. If you can’t say that very easily, maybe you need to look inside of yourself and see what the hang up is.
So go have a nice dinner on the tonight! Rekindle your marriage and focus on what is important… not only on Valentines Day, but every day.
To order Dr. Leman’s resources, go to www.birthorderguy.com