Are there times when you feel a strong pull to say or do something to fit in or to be liked or to control someone’s perception of you? At some level we all experience this temptation–goodness sakes–we’re human. But, it’s not ok to be ok with this. In other words, sort of giving up the struggle on battling against doing things, saying things, or trying to control our perception of others is a white flag you can’t afford to raise.
Why?
- You have unique gifts, personality, temperaments that may not be understood by everyone, but certainly can be appreciated and even respected by all people.
- God made you exactly the way you are to be the exact person he made you to be.
- You have less stress and strain when you are not having to “put on” or “be on” for others.
How do I begin to break free of the temptation to fit in?
- When you continue remember that you having nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Nothing to lose and everything to gain…
This is one beautiful facet of the gospel (good news that God has made a way to be in fellowship with Him through Christ where there previously was no way). The gospel explains to the Christian that they were loved, cherished, and chosen not on the basis of their built-in goodness or righteousness, but because God made a way to them where there was no way. He provided the means to a sick, sour, and sordid person (you and me) in the midst of our sin, so that we would see everything as a gift from Him. In other words, because God loved us and brought us to a relationship with Him, as new children of His we then become stewards of everything (including relationships with people, our families, our money, etc.).
I like to think of it as a little child adopted into a loving family, and for the first time they realize the love, care, and charity they received from their new parents. They hear of the previous plight that they were rescued from, and they shudder to think of the lifestyle and despicable condition they would have been forced to live in. It’s at this point that they realize that everything they have from these new parents is given to them not because they were a perfect kid, but because their new parents chose them and bestowed a new life to them. They have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
The Christian’s story is very similar to this one above. In the depths and sorrows of our sin God rescued us brought us forth. Incredible! We were saved from a life of sin, and given a new life in Christ. Thus, as the Christian remembers this new life in Christ, and that they nothing to lose in life, but everything to gain, they are able to see relationships for what they are…a means to love as they were loved, a means to express forgiveness as they were forgiven, a means to express acceptance as they received acceptance, and a means to be committed as God through Christ is committed to them.
Therefore, the margin left to fitting in is gone. There’s just no room for it to survive as the Christian remembers his new life in Christ, and forgets the old life as a sinner.
Are you meditating on this reality? That in Christ you have everything, and thus you have nothing on this earth to lose (be it reputation, misunderstandings, misperceptions, etc), but everything to gain. In Christ, you are God’s son or daughter, you are loved, you are accepted–forever and always. That’s enough to alleviate any human’s unacceptance of you.
May we remember this…we’re accepted in Christ by our faith in His finished work on our behalf, and we can now walk as God’s unique creation and not as the constant chameleon!
Glory!