“He who [willfully] separates himself [from God and man] seeks his own desire,
He quarrels against all sound wisdom.”
Proverbs 18:1 (AMP)
The tendency of the human is to separate himself…even in the face of overt conversation and cordial fellowship. We just don’t like being open…it feels too exposed. More often than not, we’re more comfortable being withdrawn than we are being open.
For some, it’s laziness. For others, it’s sin desiring to be hidden. For others, it’s personality. For others, it’s intentional. For others, it’s pride. For others, it’s insecurity. For others, it’s fear. For others, it’s past hurt from being open. And on. And on. We all have our reasons for retreat and separation.
To be sure, there are some that would say… “I’m around people all the time. I don’t separate. I go to the small group…the men’s group…the women’s Bible study…Sunday church…the leadership team…the elder board…the pastor’s conferences…the _________.”
The reality? One can be surrounded by people, yet be the most separated (and loneliest person) in the room.
Many things prove this point, but there is one word that stands as the litmus test to one being separated or not…to one being isolated or not.
Confession.
When we’re not walking in confession, we’re more than likely separating at some level.
Let me lay this challenging thought out logically…
- If I’m born into a sinful world (because of the Fall), then I have the potential to sin everyday.
- If I’m not consciously (thoughts), behaviorally (actions), or verbally (words) avoiding sin at every level at every moment of the day, then I do in fact sin everyday at some level.
- Therefore, if I’m alive, then I’m sinning at some level (thought, action, or speech).
Man. That’s hard to write, much less think about.
What does it mean?
It means that if I’m alive, then I’m sinning; and if I’m sinning then I’m breaking down relational connections with others and most importantly with God. The grace needed in this dilemma is not pushing down, avoiding, running from, and ultimately isolating myself. But, instead, the grace needed is confession. I need, therefore, to walk in confession.
Thank God that sin is not the final answer. No, no. There’s a way forward. There is the grace of God through the confession of sinners that not only restores, but heals, albeit in timing not in our control.
What is confession?
Confession is to agree. It’s that simple, but not that easy. When I confess, I agree that what I did (said, etc.) was not only not a healthy way of living, but that my sin was also detrimental to the person, group, community, and ultimately God. It’s hard, because we have to accept responsibility, which means acknowledging weakness, admitting a lack of strength, risk being judged…not accepted…losing any identity we so sorely hope to maintain, and on and on.
To be sure, we can’t be open and confess with/to everyone, and we can’t walk around confessing all day long. There’s to be a balance…a tension maintained…a wisdom in confession must be employed. Most of us though tend to swing to the side of being closed. For more on confession, CLICK HERE.
Let me illustrate this point using a fire. What does separation, confession, and a fire have in common?
In order for a wood-burning fire in a hearth (at the camp, etc.) to be sustained, the wood must be touching. Otherwise the fire will most certainly flicker slowly out. What happens…? The wood separates from energy of the fire.
In the same way, when I’m separated from humans and God (i.e. not walking in confession), then I’m like the log that rolls away from the energy of the fire, and I’m certain to flicker out. Flickering out takes many forms, but often it’s either (or a combination of) a double life or a life built around building one’s own kingdom.
What is the Way Forward?
God designed us to be in unbroken fellowship with Him, as well as with our fellow God-Image-Bearers.
Since sin impacts our relationship(s), thus leading to broken fellowship…separated individuals…unconfessed, lonely, and pride-ful humans, we need wise and biblical confession to restore it.
God’s grace–through confession–brings us back to fellowship with other God-Image-Bearers and God Himself and keeps us connected to God and others.
“When I kept silence [before I confessed], my bones wasted away through my groaning all the day long. For day and night Your hand [of displeasure] was heavy upon me; my moisture was turned into the drought of summer. Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]!
I acknowledged my sin to You, and my iniquity I did not hide. I said, I will confess my transgressions to the Lord [continually unfolding the past till all is told]—then You [instantly] forgave me the guilt and iniquity of my sin. Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]!”
Psalm 32:3-5 (AMPC)
May we burn for God…walking in confession…walking in humility…walking in connection…in the peace that comes through the forgiveness and restored relationship with God and humans.