Is the church biblically sound? Do its leaders bear a faithful witness with their personal lives? Is the theology sound? Does the worship honor Christ? Is there programming that helps those from diverse ages grow in faith? Does it reflect the ethnic diversity of its neighborhood?
This is just the tip of the iceberg of appropriate questions when considering whether a church might be a good fit for us. Most of us have a finely tuned ability to evaluate churches. We’ve developed these skills by combining our biblical knowledge with our experience in our consumer culture.
Last week I ate out at two new restaurants. As soon as I arrived, I made dozens of judgments based on the location, the ambiance, the service, the cleanliness, the quality of the food, and the price to determine whether I would return. The sticky floors under the table and the inflated prices made me decide that I wouldn’t be returning to one, while the reasonable prices and unique twist on carne asada tacos made the second a place I will be returning to.
Over the same week, I listened to two people voice concerns about our church. Both had me consider how we might make New Life a church that better reflects God’s purposes for us. Any pastor would rather hear those concerns than have someone leave without communicating. As the body of Christ we ought to be able to offer and receive feedback to grow in conformity to Christ.
I wonder, though, if our critiques are too often directed at the church and not often enough directed at ourselves. Our “the customer is always right” culture tends to have a blind spot for the customer. And we are, of course, not customers of our churches.
The church, after all, is not primarily an establishment we give our patronage to, but a body we participate in (1 Cor. 12:12), a household that we are a part of (Eph. 2:19), a temple that houses the presence of God (Eph. 2:22), and a bride that awaits our groom (Rev. 21:2).
Perhaps we need to balance out our evaluation of our churches with some self-evaluation. Are we connected meaningfully to the people of God at our church? Current stats show that 53% of adults who attend church are connected in a group.[i]
Scripture is filled with admonitions for how we are to live life together. Often called the “one anothers,” it is helpful for us to pause and consider how we are meaningfully one anothering those God has placed in our church community. As the one anothers stack, it’s easy to realize the depth of commitment God assumes in our relationships with brothers and sisters in Christ.[ii]
- “Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.” (1 Peter 4:9)
- “Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly.” (Romans 12:16)
· “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up” (1 Thess. 5:11).
- “Be at peace with one another.” (Mark 9:50)
- “Greet one another with a holy kiss.” (Romans 16:16)
- “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted…” (Ephesians 4:32a)
- “…forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32b)
- “With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” (Ephesians 4:2-3)
- “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2)
- “Finally, brothers, rejoice. Aim for restoration, comfort one another…” (2 Corinthians 13:11a)
- “Therefore, confess your sins to one another…” (James 5:16a)
- “…and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” (James 5:16b)
- “But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called ‘today,’ that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.” (Hebrews 3:13)
- “Addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart.” (Ephesians 5:19)
- “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works.” (Hebrews 10:24)
- “Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.” (Ephesians 5:21)
Many critiques of our churches would be solved if we were in genuine community serving on mission together. The Unstuck Group’s recently reported that 35% of church attendees serve (down from 45-50% pre-pandemic).[iii]
These one anothers are lived out in community where we serve and care for one another. Paul says, “To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good” (1 Cor. 12:7). The health of our churches depends on us sharing our gifts for the good of others.
Perhaps before we evaluate our churches, we ought to assess ourselves. What would the church look like if everyone acted like me?
How healthy would your church be? How encouraging would it be? How many visitors would be welcomed? Would unchurched families love your church? Would the community be impacted? Would it be a community that does the hard work of peacemaking, or would it be a place where people would be kind, but not take the risk and do the hard work of forming deep friendships?
We don’t have the same gifts. We are called to build the body up differently. We are different parts of the body. But we have the same responsibility to care and serve. And all of this comes from the reconciling love of Christ, who has called us to the work of reconciling others through his love (2 Cor. 5:20).
The greatest of all the one anothers, after all, is echoed by Jesus, Peter, John, and Paul who all tell us to “love one another” (Jn. 15:12, 1 Pet. 4:8, 1 Jn. 4:7, Rms 12:10). “Do you love me?” Jesus asked Peter after Peter had denied him. “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” And Jesus responded, “Tend my sheep” (John 21:16).[iv]