Rape is one of the most traumatic experiences a person can endure. Rape and violent death are among the experiences many women fear most. Sexual assault is a very complex type of violence. It leaves the victim with more dilemmas than just the physical and emotional aspects. It also produces a crisis of faith that must be addressed if the survivor is to continue to work through the recovery process. Carol Adams, in her book, “I Just Raped My Wife,” suggests three qualities of the pastoral counselor that are essential when survivors disclose their experiences:
- The ability to process information about the dehumanizing violence enacted by one person against another.
- The ability to process information about the dehumanizing violence enacted by one person against another.
- The ability to provide practical assistance.
- The ability to reflect theologically.
More importantly through, these three characteristics must be balanced. If any of these aspects become disproportionate to the others then there is the danger that certain areas of the survivor’s care will be neglected. Adams further suggests three components of a pastoral counseling model to survivors of sexual assault.
Care: The pastor/counselor can say “I am sorry this has happened to you.” The survivor can be assisted in grieving the lost of safety and security. The pastoral counselor can validate the feelings of the survivor. Concern for safety: The pastor/counselor can take practical steps to ensure the safely and feeling of security for the survivor. Empowerment: The pastor/counselor can offer assurance that it is possible to reestablish control over life. By posing questions to the survivor such as “What can I do?” The pastoral counselor can empower the survivor to make decisions.
The problems of the survivors of sexual assault may be complex, however the role of the pastor/counselor cannot be over-stressed. Survivors are going to need someone who can be trusted, someone who makes them feel safe. Survivors also need someone to help them interpret what they have just experienced. This is perhaps one of the fundamental aspects that need to be addressed in order for the survivor to cope with the assault and begin to recover. In addition, the church can offer invaluable ministry to the survivor in the way of understanding, acceptance, and support. Prayer and personal affirmation help heal deep wounds.
Vining, Dr. John Kie (1997) When Home Is Where the Hurt Is: A Ministry Guide for Trauma Victims, http://www.marriagecomission.com/ pp. 162, 198-199.
Adams, Carol, J. (1993) “I Just Raped My Wife!” Transforming a Rape Culture eds. Emilie Buchwald, Pamela R. Fletcher, Martha Roth, Minneapolis: Milkweed Editions.