Becoming a Virtuous Single Woman

“Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.” Proverbs 14:1

• Is there anything about my speech, actions, dress, or attitudes that could defraud the men around me?
   
• Am I building up my “house”—home, work place, church,—(vs. tearing it down)?
   
• Am I taking in sensual thoughts and desires through books, magazines, TV programs,music, or movies that are not morally pure?
   
• Am I investing in the lives of those around me? Am I nurturing the heart of my siblings or others God has called me to bless?
   
• Am I looking to any man (pastor, counselor, colleague, etc.) to fill an emotional vacuum in my life? Do I go to a man rather than going to the Lord to meet my emotional needs?
   
• Am I cultivating a grateful, joyful spirit? Am I rejoicing in the Lord?
   
• Is there any behavior or relationship I am involved in that I am hiding? Am I engaged in anything now that I will not want my husband to know about if I marry in the future?
   
• Am I giving the best of my physical and emotional energy for the Lord?
   
• Am I discontent? Am I dwelling on thoughts that make me unable to find fulfillment through serving the Lord and those around me He has called me to serve?
   
• Am I cultivating a pleasant, gracious spirit in my words, actions, and attitudes that brings honor and glory to the Lord?
   
• Am I critical or judgmental? Do my parents have the freedom to be honest with me?
   
• Am I keeping my emotions, attention, and affection from every man to whom I am not engaged or married? Am I protecting the thoughts and feelings of my heart?
   
• Is my conversation ever loose, crude, or unbecoming for a woman of God?
   
• Am I discreet and restrained in the way I talk with men at work?
   
• Am I expressing admiration for a man that should more appropriately come from his wife? 

16. Do I communicate a meek, quiet, and submissive spirit?

17. Does my demeanor tend to be “loud and defiant”? Do I dominate or try to control the men around me? 

18. Does my dress help men to keep their thoughts pure and Christ-centered? Is my dress feminine and modest?

19. Am I a “door” or a “wall” (Song of Songs 8:9)? Am I a “loose” woman? Do I communicate to the men around me that I am “available”? Does my demeanor invite them to “partake” of intimate parts of my body, soul, or spirit? Do I engage in overly-flirtatious speech, looks, or behavior?

20. Have I purposed in my heart to be morally pure?

21. Am I currently in a situation that is (or could become) compromising?

22. Do I reserve intimate communication, looks, words, and touch for my future husband (if I marry)?

23. Have I become a “refuge” for a man who may be struggling in his marriage?

24. Have I surrendered my sexual desires in honor of the Lord, my future husband if God chooses for me to be married, and the marriages or future marriages of those around me? Am I walking in holiness and honor?

25. Do I esteem and value any man more than the Lord? Do I love any man more than I love the Lord? Who comes first in my estimation?

26. Would those who know me best say that I am a woman of moral virtue and purity?

27. Am I in a situation that could appear to others to be compromising?

28. Am I making myself accountable to another godly woman for my walk with God and others?

29. Do I treat men with respect by keeping an appropriate distance from them, emotionally and physically?

30. Have I erected (and am I maintaining) adequate “hedges” (appropriate boundaries) in my relationships with men? Have I defined what those hedges are?

If the answer is “no” to any of these questions, pray with me now for God to bring healing and a fresh walk with Jesus in my life.

“Lord, I acknowledge and renounce my sinful involvement in _______________ and pray in the name and through the blood of our Lord Jesus Christ that you would break this stronghold in my life. I realize, Lord, this sin has been a detrimental influence in my life [and marriage]. Lord, I humbly ask that You would forgive me and wash me in the blood of Christ, cleansing me from this sin. I ask you, Lord Jesus to take back the ground given to the enemy through my involvement and I yield that ground to Your control. I purpose to honor You in my heart, practicing purity and discretion in all of my relationships.” 

© Revive Our Hearts. Adapted from “Becoming a Woman of Discretion” by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. Used by Permission.