Our churches can create a “male-friendly” atmosphere that will reach men for Christ. Here are a number of suggestions to draw them in!
Front door experience:
- Maintain your buildings and grounds
- Put men in the parking lot
- One layer of greeters (don’t be too friendly)
- Lots of signs so men don’t have to ask directions
Worship service:
- Keep the focus on God – not the family
- Minimize dead time between elements
- Do something unexpected
- Add humor or something fun
- Good lighting and sound so people can easily see and hear
Décor:
- Remove the “old lady” stuff: quilts, felt banners, needlepoint, etc.
- Remove lace and flowers from communion table.
- Remove bulletin boards and “kindergarten classroom” collages from interior walls
- Decide if religious symbols in the sanctuary help or hinder
- Colors: choose earth tones and colors of the field
Give men space:
- Do not ask the congregation to hold hands
- Do not ask everyone to hug everyone else
- Discourage “prayer mushrooms”
Prayer:
- Keep pastoral prayers short
- Avoid showy “prayer-speak” when praying in church
- Avoid “vain repetitions” in public prayers
- Offer prayer after the service instead of prayer-and-share
Music:
- Quality is vital. Don’t attempt more than your musicians can deliver.
- Choose songs that convey respect to God
- Avoid wimpy “love songs to Jesus”
- Avoid more than 3 repeats of any chorus
- Select a key the baritones can sing
- Help the worship leader “man-up”
A pastor who relates well to men will:
- Talk like a regular guy (avoid “preacher-speak”)
- Do man stuff and talk about it during the message
- Choose metaphors and stories men can relate to
- Be firm but gracious on theology and moral issues
- Be judicious about emotive displays
Teaching:
- Shorter is almost always better. Say it and be done.
- Share personal stories of your struggles as a man
- Avoid feminine metaphors (such as “fall in love with Jesus”)
- Avoid “preacher-speak”
- Build sermon around great illustrations
- Use visual aids
- Use video clips to illustrate
- Use an object lesson to illustrate
- Call men forward for a 3-minute “men’s huddle” at the end of the service
Honor men’s time:
- Start and end the service on time
- If something goes long, cut something else on the fly
- For services more than 90 minutes, offer an intermission or an opportunity to “get-up-and-go” so men don’t feel trapped
Sunday school:
- Bury the name “Sunday school”
- Abandon the classroom method in favor of a more kinetic one
- Place boys with male teachers
- Don’t ask boys to read aloud
- Use a boy-friendly curriculum with hands-on learning
- Use professionally produced videos to help teach spiritual truths