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Your Paralyzing Shame Spiral: How to Climb Out!

by Julie Barrier
written by Julie Barrier

Have you ever been sucked into a shame spiral? Nasty stuff. Shame is a fear-based state accompanied by feelings of being unworthy and unlovable. You may feel powerless, abandoned, worthless.

Shame is as old as Adam and Eve. They sniffed the garden flowers, yakked with the serpent, chewed the forbidden fruit, and oops! They realized they were naked! After their shocking discovery, the couple patched together leafy scivvies, and hid from God.

Sin and shame covered them simultaneously.

Have you ever been sucked into a shame spiral? Here are some of the symptoms:

·      We discount our strengths and abilities.  “I’ll never amount to anything.”

·      We obsess over our flaws. “I’m so fat! Hand me the Cheetos!”

·      We judge ourselves by other people’s expectations. “My brother is the quarterback on the football team. I’m only the water boy. ”

·      We can shame ourselves by confusing what we do with who we are. “I’m retired now. I was an executive. Now I’m just a drain on society.”

·      Mean words from friends or family members damage our self-image and sabotage our ability to be intimate with God and others. “I really am the black sheep of the family.”

·      The lies of Satan, the Accuser of God’s children, wants us to feel as distant from God as possible. He reminds us of failures, causes us to stumble and distracts us from the truth of how God sees us. “God could never love me or forgive me.”

How do you know if you struggle with shame?

·      You are perfectionistic or legalistic, ashamed that you will never measure up.

·      You are guarded and terrified that people will discover the “real you.”

·      You criticize others to bolster your low self-esteem.

·      You bury your pain in addictions like drugs, alcohol, sex, shopping and more.

·      You avoid responsibility-low grades or poor job performance because you’ve “given up”.

·      You don’t allow yourself to enjoy anything, because you don’t deserve to be blessed.

·      You talk about yourself in negative ways.

The prodigal son clearly shows us the difference between guilt and shame. Starving and exhausted, he stumbled home to his loving father and cried,

“The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’” Luke 15:21 NIV

This guy acted like a jerk. He demanded his inheritance, an inheritance he shouldn’t have received before his Dad’s death, he squandered his cash living large with wine and women, and he returned home with his tail between his legs.

Notice the two sentences. One reflects guilt. “Father, I have sinned against heaven (God) and against you. The other reflects shame. “I am no longer worthy to be called your son.” Who said that? Certainly not his Dad. Daddy welcomed him with open arms, forgave him and celebrated with a barbecue.

I’ve always felt ugly. My little sis looked like Barbie. I thought I looked like a Cabbage Patch kid. My husband Roger spent most of our marriage complimenting me on how beautiful he thought I was. One sunny June morning on our tenth anniversary, I was brushing my molars, my hair still bundled in a wet towel. Roger walked in and said, “Julie, you are so gorgeous.” For the first time in a decade I smiled at my reflection in the mirror and replied, “Well, maybe I’m not that bad after all.” It took YEARS of my husband’s admiration to overcome my self-deprecation and shame.

Focusing on God’s love for us can help us climb out of the shame spiral. Here are a few verses that will eliminate shame and help us to see ourselves as God sees us.

Satan wants us to feel like failures and dirty sinners. Feeling that way keeps us from confidently approaching God’s throne and having an intimate relationship with Him! The blood of Jesus was shed so that we can confidently approach God and have an intimate relationship with our heavenly Father:

Hebrews 9:14, “How much more shall the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself without spot to God, purge your conscience from dead works to serve the living God?”

You need to stop thinking about your past failures. Your sin has been dealt with and washed away. Therefore, you are meditating on something that no longer exists! If your sins are in the depths of the sea, then why are you still obsessing over them?

1 John 1:9, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from ALL unrighteousness.”

Romans 8:1, “There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus…”

Now that our past failures have been forgiven, we need to leave them there and press forward towards the things God has for us:

Philippines 3:13, “…this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before.”

Adam and Eve hid from God in their handmade leafy underwear. God took them, sacrificed an animal and gave them fur coats. Jesus gives us white robes instead of the dirty rags of disgrace. 

Climb out of your shame spiral and receive God’s unconditional love and forgiveness.

Resources:

www.angriesout.com; www.tyndale.ca/counseling/issues/shame/; www.greatbiblestudy.com.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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When Your Kid Asks: “Did God Make Them Gay?”

by Luke Gilkerson
written by Luke Gilkerson

 

“Did God make them gay?”

What a whopper of a question. I groaned a little bit inside as my inquisitive 13-year-old asked me this.

He was peering over my shoulder at the computer screen. I was looking at pictures on Facebook of recent wedding pictures—two women holding hands in brides dresses.

“That’s an interesting question,” I replied. “What do you think?”

This prompted a discussion—as you can imagine, a little more than I had bargained for—about same-sex attraction. Here are my thoughts on handling the question “Did God make them gay?”

So, are they born gay? Did God make them gay?

Our children are going ask themselves questions about sexual orientation.

And if you’re lucky, they’ll want to talk to you about these questions. Yes, this is a good thing. It means you’ve fostered a good relationship with your kids, and they want to discuss complex topics with you.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock on another planet, you know in recent years same-sex attraction has been a topic brought to the forefront in both media and politics. (Of course, in reality, same-sex attraction has been around for millennia—it’s nothing new.)

And the “Why” question is a pretty natural question to ask: Why does someone experience same-sex attraction when the most of the world doesn’t?

There’s been a lot of ink spilled over this question—many nature-vs-nurture debates:

  • Are people gay because it was merely their choice to be so?
  • Does someone become gay or lesbian because of some kind of trauma?
  • Is it because of upbringing?
  • Do genetics or brain development have to do with it—are people born gay? Did God make them gay?

People often turn to science to answer these questions, and, of course, there’s nothing wrong with good scientific research.*

But Christian parents don’t need to get bogged down trying to unravel the mysterious origins of same-sex attraction for their kids.

Why? Because there are better questions we can teach our kids to ask…

Better Question #1: Does science teach us what’s right and wrong?

This is the question behind the question. It’s a question about ethics.

When our kids wonder if a person is “born that way,” often they’re asking because they assume, “If someone is born gay, it means there’s nothing wrong with it.”

But here’s the critical truth we need our kids to grasp:

Science can only reveal what is; it can’t tell us what should be.

Of course, we can use scientific data to help us make moral decisions. But its never the data alone that determines right or wrong.

  • Science can tell us how to repair a damaged heart, but it doesn’t tell us whether we ought to operate.
  • Science can tell us that a fetus is human life, genetically speaking, but it can’t tell us a fetus should have a right to life.
  • Science can tell us how alcohol damages a liver, but it can’t tell us we ought to stop drinking.

But we live in a world where culture pushes a twisted narrative: if you’re “born” with an attraction to your own sex, it must be right. This is ridiculous. If my genetics predispose me to alcoholism, is it right to become a drunk? We don’t apply this logic to anything else.

Christian parents should emphasize to their children only God can reveal what our values must be and He has revealed it through His prophets in the Bible.

Better Question #2: Aren’t we all “born this way”?

If there’s some kind of genetic or hormonal component to same-sex attraction, it shouldn’t surprise Christians at all.

For centuries, Christians have taught the doctrine of “original sin.” Because of our first parent’s (Adam and Eve) sin, we have all corrupt hearts—impacting the way we think, what we desire, and even corrupting our physical bodies (Matt. 15:19; Rom. 5:12,19; 7:21-23; 8:7-8; Eph. 2:1-3).

Ed Shaw, Associate Pastor of Emmanuel City Centre in Bristol, England, has experienced same-sex attraction for most of his life. He explains what original sin is and how it impacts his understanding of his own homosexual desires:

The Bible clearly teaches that all human beings sin naturally. But the Bible also clearly shows that all human beings have a propensity to sin differently. Moses had an anger problem. For David his weakness was sex. For Peter it was pride. For Ed Shaw it is (amongst other things), same-sex sexual immorality.

 

To quote Lady Gaga, we are all “born this way.”

So, your kids as you, “Did God make them gay?” And as Christian parents we need to explain to our kids how the Fall brought brokenness into our bodies, minds, and souls—and that shows up differently for different people.

There are some temptations that appear to be nearly universal in scope: all of us are tempted to selfishness and pride. There are other temptations that only seem to afflict specific people.

And yes, there are all kinds of sinful dispositions that may have some kind of hereditary or genetic component. But, even if same-sex attraction is somehow undergirded by genetics, Shaw comments, “At the same time, God holds me responsible for how I respond to it and whether I act upon it”—just as he does for every person with sinful desires.

We need to let our kids know we all have sinful desires in our hearts that we haven’t chosen to be there, but this doesn’t make those desires good.

Intentional PARENTING

 

More Resources for Parents about Sex Education:

 

 

 

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Consider Why You Shouldn’t Complain

by Don McMinn
written by Don McMinn

I was on a flight from San Diego to Dallas. I’m a million-miler with American Airlines so I usually request, and get, an aisle seat, but on this flight, I was sitting in the middle seat between two “architecturally enhanced” individuals.

Inwardly, I started to complain.

Then I remembered a thought I had read in Karl Albrecht’s book, Social Intelligence —“Think about the level you’re complaining from.”

This insightful and penetrating statement prompted me to reconsider my grumbling and adjust my attitude. My thought process included:

I’m traveling from San Diego to Dallas in less than three hours. A century ago, it would have taken a month or more by horseback. But I’m complaining.
I paid $320 for the round-trip ticket. But I’m complaining.
I’m inside one of mankind’s greatest inventions — the airplane. I’m traveling 562 miles an hour at 32,000 ft. altitude. But I’m complaining.
I just returned from a 7-day cruise. But I’m complaining.
I have a nice house to return to and I’m gainfully employed. But I’m complaining.
It didn’t take me long to jettison my bad attitude and embrace thoughts of gratitude and wonder.

Is it ever okay to complain or should we try to eradicate it from the earth?

My perspective is: We all have challenges and problems, and sometimes it helps to verbalize them. In fact, it can be cathartic. And that’s okay. But continuing to coddle complaints ad nauseam is unnecessary and is detrimental to you and your relationships. Undeterred, constant complaining will make you a grouch, and people will avoid you.

My advice to habitual complainers: “If you can’t be positive, at least be quiet.”

Summary
What? – We often complain too quickly and too much.
So what? – Excess complaining will sour our dispositions and repel people.
Now what? – Learn how to properly share your frustrations and then let them go.

Leaders – Do not tolerate a complaining culture. Give people the opportunity to vent legitimate frustrations, and properly respond to them, but make it clear that a systemic complaining environment will not be condoned.

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Learning Christian Honesty

by Francis Chan
written by Francis Chan

Lying to ourselves is easy. Lying to God is not. Even little white lies are not little to God.

Wise Solomon warns us in Proverbs that “…the Lord detests lying lips, but He delights in men who are truthful.” Proverbs 12:22 NIV

I had such a good role model for deception from my big brother because he showed me how easy it was to turn an “F” into a “B” on my report card! I remember when he was a junior in high school, he asked mom if he could buy a car. She said no. So he bought the car anyway, and parked it around the corner. Every day, for a year, we’d walk around the corner, hop in his car and drive to school. On rainy days, she would let us take the family car, so we’d slide around the corner, I’d take Mom’s car and he’d take his car. Deception. I was thirteen years old. This is the way I grew up. I was the coolest freshman ever! I took all my friends to lunch. But then one day, it began to rain in the middle of the day and my mom was coming to school to pick us up. She was driving right toward us. I screamed, “Paul, duck! It’s Mom!” Then we hustled back to the school parking lot, parked his car, and ran to her car in the rain. “Oh, hey, Mom, thanks for the ride!” My teenage years were filled with lie after lie after lie. Lying comes so naturally to us.  Your child is holding a black magic marker. Writing fills the walls. He looks at Mommy and swears, “I didn’t do it!”  It’s instinctive!

Getting rid of deception is a process. Lying is so natural, so all-consuming, that we must have the Holy Spirit reveal how greatly entrenched it is in our lives. Paul said that he didn’t come to the Corinthians with eloquent words, but with the demonstration of power.  I don’t believe you can persuade someone to be truthful, they have to be confronted with the Truth. The revelation of God’s glory and holiness dispels deception and reveals our sinfulness. The only instance of God striking someone dead in the New Testament was in Acts 5:3-5, the story of Ananias and Sapphira, when they lied over their gift to the church. Peter said two things, Satan had filled their hearts, and they had lied to the Holy Spirit. I’m thinking, well, if I wanted to convince people to be honest, that would work! Just let a few members keel over and everybody would clean up their act right away!

There are times when God makes us tell the truth-when He exposes us. For example, God sends David a Nathan and says, “You’re the man!” Isn’t it so much better when nothing external happens like that? Instead of being exposed, you confess? To me, that’s one of the most beautiful things that can happen. Let God’s light shine on your life in the dark places and make you clean. Then you can walk courageously in truth.

From “Honesty” sermon, Cornerstone Church, Simi Valley, cornerstonesimi.com.

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A Shepherd Should Have a Blameless Heart

by Max Lucado
written by Max Lucado

Imagine that you are going on an extended trip. Pretend that you are departing for several months and have to leave your children behind. You plan to eventually return and take them with you, but for the immediate future, they must remain in the care of someone else.

How carefully would you select the caretaker of your children? Would you invite just any individual to take the job? Of course not. You would screen the applicants. You would probe the personalities of the finalists. And when you narrowed the decision down to one person, you would look him or her in the eye and say, “This is my child I am entrusting to you. My flesh and blood. My heart and soul. Be diligent in your task.”

Why would you be so careful? Simple. You love your children too much to leave them in the care of the immature or ill-prepared. You don’t leave a precious child in irresponsible hands. A parent doesn’t and neither does God. The church is precious to him. Listen to what he says to elders: You must be like shepherds to the church of God, which he bought with his own blood (Acts 20:28).

What a sobering reminder! Overseers shepherd God’s greatest treasure: his church. Far more valuable than any mountain range, gold mine, or waterfall is the church of Jesus Christ. With his blood he has bought it and in his wisdom he has placed it under the care of godly men. Jesus is saying, “I am putting you in charge of my children. I have purchased them, died for them and called them. Now, you guard them. Guard them like shepherds guard sheep.”

Just as you would seek the best person available to care for your children, so the Holy Spirit seeks the right man to shepherd his church. What kind of man does he seek? What kind of man is to be ordained or set aside? Paul answers this question in 1 Timothy 3:2.

This passage serves as a flagship for the fleet of traits that follow. An elder must not give people a reason to criticize him:

A bishop must be blameless. (KJV)
A church leader must be without fault. (TEV)
A pastor must be a good man who cannot be spoken against. (TLB)
Now the overseer must be above reproach. (NW, RSV, NF.V)
For the office of a bishop a man must be of blameless reputation. (PHILLIPS)
…must have impeccable character. (JERUSALEM BIBLE)

Some grammatical observations are helpful:

1. The word must is dei in the Greek, a particle which suggests absolute necessity. No option. No negotiation. Extremely important. A transliteral reading looks like this: “It behooves, therefore, the bishop without reproach to be.”

2. It’s important to note that the phrase is in the present participle, which suggests a present state of blamelessness. This doesn’t mean he never committed a sin, or has no error in his past. It implies that in his current history, he is above reproach. In question is not what he did years in the past, but presently. Certainly not a question of what he did before he was a Christian.

3. The word for “above reproach” is anepileptos, which means “not able to be held or taken hold of”; in other words, evidence against him is insufficient for his detainment or arrest. You may accuse him but the accusations don’t stick. He leads a life unmarred by a prevailing sin, be it a vice, habit, attitude, or an event. He is beyond accusation.

Does this mean he never slips or sins? No. It means he never dwells in a state of sin that could be a reflection on the church. Does this mean his past is perfect and without blemish? No, but it does mean that any dark chapter of his past has been dealt with in such a manner that he and those closest to him have put it to rest.

I like this paragraph by Alexander Strauch, who writes:

“He is a man with an irreproachable life in the sight of others. He is free from any disgraceful blight of character or conduct. Hence critics cannot discredit his profession or prove him unfit as a community leader. Since all God’s saints are to live holy and blameless lives, since the world casts a critical eye at the Christian community, and since leaders led primarily by example, a blameless life is indispensable to the Christian elder.”1

There are two very important reasons why God seeks blameless men to lead his church: to set the right example on the inside and send the right message to the outside. So the family on the inside will be inspired and the observers on the outside will be impressed.

I can remember as a youngster having a high jump bar in the backyard. I spent many hours throwing myself over the bar, which was a cane fishing pole, and landing in the pit, which was an old mattress. I was proud of my achievements until the day my big brother and his friends came by.

They raised the bar. When they jumped, their minimum was my maximum. They began where I finished. They jumped higher than I’d ever dreamed. When they left, the bar was at a new level. And I had a new concept of what it meant to jump high. They had set a new standard.

Elders are called to raise the bar in the church. They set the example and lift the standard of what it means to be a Christian. Ideally, an elder should do for your life what my brother’s friends did for my high-jumping. Being with them should cause us to think higher thoughts and set higher dreams. The life of an elder should inspire us to raise the bar in our home life, prayer life, character, and dedication.

For that reason Peter urges elders to “…be good examples….” (1 Pet. 5:3).

If the elders set the standard, the church will follow. If the elders are cooperative, the church will be cooperative. If the elders are contentious, the church will be contentious. If the elders are hospitable, the church will be as well. If they are selfish, the church will be selfish. If they are servants, the church will be servants. If they are power-hungry and territorial, the church will be. . . well, you get the message.

And not only do they set the example for those inside, they send a message to those outside the church. An elder must have the respect of people who are not in the church so he will not be criticized by others and fall into the devil’s trap (1 Tim. 3:7).

Consider this principle: Protection reveals the price.

When you think of Buckingham Palace in London, you immediately picture the Palace Guard: the high-hatted, square-jawed, unblinking soldiers who guard the royal family. The presence of such disciplined soldiers states to any who pass: “we value who is inside.”

What if England used sloppy guards? What if they posted illkept soldiers? What if the guards snoozed at the post or passed the time reading magazines and whistling at the girls? The obvious conclusion would be that this country does not value this family.

In guarding his church, God urges us to seek the best men.

Why? Observers will make decisions about the church by the men we ask to guard it. If we appoint men of compromised faith or questionable character, critics will notice and the reputation of the church will suffer. But if blameless men lead, then outsiders will see the value of the church.

Imagine the damage it does if a man of ill-repute in the community is placed in church leadership. The men in the Lion’s Club know he’s dishonest. The folks at work know he is a jerk. His golf buddies know he’s sleeping around. Yet he’s a pastor in the church? The community will draw this conclusion: “That church must not be serious about its mission.”

Yet, on the other hand, imagine the good done for the church when those in leadership are respected by the community. Those at work know he is fair. Those in the neighborhood know he is kind. Even his competition respects his skill and judgment. When the community hears that such a man has been appointed as bishop, they will likely think, “That’s the kind of church I’d like to be a part of someday.”

Both of these reasons, by the way, help us understand why sinning elders are to be rebuked publicly (1 Tim. 5:19). An elder’s sin is more than a personal matter; it is a bad example to the entire church and a poor reflection on the entire church.

By the way, this is not a double standard. Leaders are to model the lifestyle to which all members should aspire. This is not a standard which leaders have and members don’t. It is simply a standard which leaders set so we will know we can follow.

Chapter Two: Wanted: A Few Good Shepherds from www.maxlucado.com.

Used by permission.

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Fireball Christians: The Spirit-Filled Community of Acts 2

by Trevin Wax
written by Trevin Wax

The power of Pentecost makes for a fantastic story. Rushing wind, flaming tongues, and the proclamation of a fisherman turned evangelist calling people to repent and be baptized.

But don’t miss how Acts 2 ends. The power of the Spirit that flowed through the apostles’ proclamation is the power that gathers people into a new community.

So those who accepted his message were baptized, and that day about 3,000 people were added to them. And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching, to fellowship, to the breaking of bread, and to prayers. Then fear came over everyone, and many wonders and signs were being performed through the apostles. Now all the believers were together and had everything in common. So they sold their possessions and property and distributed the proceeds to all, as anyone had a need. And every day they devoted themselves [to meeting] together in the temple complex, and broke bread from house to house. They ate their food with gladness and simplicity of heart, praising God and having favor with all the people. And every day the Lord added to them those who were being saved.

Evangelicals in the West tend to think of the gospel as just a transaction between the individual and God. Just me and Jesus, thank you. Of course, salvation is indeed about an individual being reconciled to God. The Spirit ushers us into a restored relationship with the living God, an intimate knowledge and love of Him who loved us first.

But we mustn’t leave out the result of the gospel’s proclamation in Acts 2. The cross restores our relationship to God, and the result is restored relationship with others. Vertical reconciliation makes possible horizontal reconciliation, and the horizontal dimension then magnifies the vertical.

Here’s an example. Ephesians 1 is all about God’s magnificent plan of salvation. Ephesians 2:1-9 is all about God’s magnificent plan of saving individual sinners like you and me. But the rest of Ephesians 2 and 3 (and 4-6, for that matter!) is about how God’s magnificent plan results in the creation of a renewed people – bringing together former enemies, Jew and Gentile, into one family. Jesus is our peace.

The Holy Spirit not only gives us power, not only leads us to proclamation, and not only fulfills God’s promise. He forms a new people.

What Kind of People?

That’s where Acts 2 gets most interesting. The characteristics of this new people reflect the work of the Holy Spirit. What are they doing?

  • They are devoted to the apostles’ teaching. This is a Word-centered group of people, aren’t they? No surprise there. The Spirit inspired the apostle’s teaching.
  • They are devoted to fellowship. They love each other. No surprise there. The Spirit of love has been poured into their hearts.
  • They break bread together at the Communion table. No surprise there. Through the Spirit, Christ is present with us when we gather and proclaim His death through the Lord’s Supper.
  • They are devoted to praying together. No surprise there. The Spirit is the One who groans within us when our words run out.
  • They are marked by fear of the Lord. No surprise there. God has given us the Spirit of all wisdom, and the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.
  • They are marked out by witnessing the signs and wonders of the apostles. No surprise there. We too have seen God’s wonders. We’ve seen Him rescue people from sin, we’ve seen Him heal people of sickness in answer to our prayers, we’ve seen Him soften the hardest heart.
  • They are willing to share their belongings and give to one another. No surprise. The Spirit of generosity has been poured out on God’s people.
  • They show hospitality, going from house to house. No surprise. This is the Spirit who welcomes us into the throne room of grace.
  • They are filled with gladness and simplicity. No surprise. This is the Spirit, the Comforter who brings us joy in God.
  • They praise God. No surprise. The Spirit lifts up Jesus, and whenever we proclaim Him as Lord, it’s through the work of the Spirit.
  • They find favor with all the people. No surprise. The Spirit fills us with love and self-giving devotion to others, so that they may see our good works and give glory to our Father in heaven.

The Gospel of the Promised Spirit

The Holy Spirit is part of the promise of the gospel.

  • He gives us power to fulfill Christ’s mission.
  • He leads us to proclamation of Christ’s gospel.
  • He fulfills God’s promise of regeneration.
  • And He forms a new people who know and love God, and overflow with love for others.

Written on February 4, 2014 for the Gospel Coalition. Used by permission.

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Keep on Dancing Through the Pain

by Jud Wilhite
written by Jud Wilhite

Do you ever get tired of the spin? It even affects the language that we use. John Ortberg has noted how our language has changed a little bit over the last several years. For instance, when a company fires people now they no longer say, “You’re fired.” That would sound way too harsh. Companies no longer “down size” because that seems negative. Companies are now calling it “right sizing.” Guys are no longer “bald,” they are “follicly challenged” or “comb free” as one guy said. It’s no longer “road kill” – it’s “maladaptive compressed life forms,” or in some states in America that will remain unnamed, “road kill” is dinner.

Do you ever just wish someone would tell you like it is? That’s exactly what James does in the Bible. He’s a no nonsense kind of guy. James, in chapter 1, teaches us about how to face trials and temptations.

Strange. James is brutally honest. James tells us is to choose to rejoice. He encourages us to choose to rejoice when we face trials and difficulties in life. By the way, when we find ourselves in the middle of a tough time, that is also a time when we face temptation to give up, to think that God has deserted us. James says, “When you face trials and difficulties in life, choose to rejoice.” James 1:2 NIV

James says, “Consider it pure joy in the midst of trials, in the midst of struggles, and the midst of temptations because you know God is going to do something out of that.” It’s not pure joy at the trial, but it’s pure joy in the midst of the trial because you are rejoicing in who God is.

That is a lot easier to say than to do. The word for “face” or “encounter many trials” is the same word Jesus used when He told the story of the Good Samaritan in Luke twelve. This poor guy was going about his day, just walking down the road. He fell into the hands of bandits who robbed him and brutally beat him, then left him bleeding by the side of the road. Like Jesus’ story of the unfortunate man, James is saying whatever trials you face, no matter how great or small, choose to rejoice in the midst of it because God will bless you in that trial, that difficulty.

Tim Hansel was an award-winning rugby player and loved sports. He was a mountain climber as well. In fact, he earned the nickname Thrasher, because of the way he aggressively climbed a mountain. At one point Tim was on the Sierra range climbing a 14,000-foot glacier. Suddenly, he lost his footing. He fell at thirty-two feet per second. When he hit the ground, all of his friends thought he was dead. They found him in a ravine. To their amazement, he woke up. He was able to function and talk. He didn’t have any bones broken, he was just shaken up. He said he felt a little shorter. He hiked out of the mountains and went all the way home. Tim never told his wife what happened. For three whole days he functioned normally. The fourth day, he woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. His doctors told him his body had been in complete shock for three full days. Every joint in his body began to throb. Now he exists with constant, chronic pain in every joint of his body. Sometimes he can’t sleep for ten weeks at a time.

Days that go by that Tim can’t reach down and put his hands below his knees because of the pain. He talks about the time he tried to play tennis. He lightly threw the ball up and hit it to a friend and broke all his ribs. His body is absolutely falling apart. If anybody has the right to be miserable it would be Tim. Yet he wrote a powerful book called, YOU GOTTA KEEP DANCING. What an impact his words made in my life. Tim confessed,  “I’ve prayed hundreds if not thousands of times for the Lord to heal me and He finally healed me of the need to be healed. I discovered a peace inside the pain. I’ve survived because I’ve discovered a new and different kind of joy that I never knew existed. A joy that can co-exist with uncertainty and doubt and with pain, confusion, and ambiguity.”

James teaches that joy can co-exist with pain, confusion, and struggle. He’s saying rejoice even in difficult times because God will do something great in the midst of it. Persevering through pain produces character and dependence on God. We don’t rejoice at the trial. We rejoice in the trial because through this hardship and difficulty God is doing a work in our lives to form us and mature us so we become the kind of people that He desires for us to be.

Taken from “Temptation Uncensored” by Jud Wilhite. Used by permission.

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Articles

Chick-Fil-A and Churchgoers

by demo
written by demo

My wife had a bad experience with Chick-Fil-A. But here’s the truth: sometimes we have a single bad experience and never go back.

We eat at Chick-Fil-A at least two or three times a week (not kidding…we’ve actually pushed that number up to 6-7 a few times.)

The food is ALWAYS good, they get the order right nearly every time and their customer service is second to none.  It is always clean and no matter how long the line seems to be people are always served as quickly and efficiently as possible.

So, imagine my surprise when my wife came home the other day and, as we were catching each other up on the things that had taken place while we had been apart all morning and afternoon she told me about a bad experience she had at Chick-Fil-A.

I was immediately frustrated!  (Any husband would be!)  AND…before I knew it I had literally told myself in my mind, “Well, if that’s the way things are going to be then I guess we just won’t be going to Chick-Fil-A anymore, they’ve lost my business.”

TIME OUT!!!  How stupid was THAT thought?  Seriously, let’s review…

  • #1 – They ALWAYS deliver great food!
  • #2 – They ALWAYS have friendly people!
  • #3 – They ALWAYS have a clean environment!
  • #4 – What my wife had experienced was not in line with what normally happens.

(AND…I want to be completely fair to Lucretia, she was NOT saying she would not go back, nor was she angry…she was just telling me about her day and I am the one who became irrational!)  🙂

I lost my mind!  I was literally going to allow one bad experience with one employee ruin a reputation of excellence that had been consistent for years!  (AND…no one knows what was going on in that employees life…she could have had one of the worst days of her life and was trying her best to just hold it together until she could clock out!)

Before you agree with me too quickly…I think there are people who have done the same thing to the church!

It has become quite popular, even in some “Christian” circles, to criticize or quit the church when they have one bad experience. Satan just loves that!

I have met people since being in ministry for over 20 years that have the same attitude with the church that I almost had with Chick-Fil-A!  They will attend, serve, be devoted to a local church for months or even years…and then, all of a sudden…

  • Someone didn’t call them when they were out for two weeks.
  • Someone said something hurtful to or about them.
  • They didn’t like what the preacher said.
  • They didn’t like what the youth group was doing.

I could go on and on…but you get the point.  There are times when people will allow one thing in the church to trump the decades of ministry and impact that have taken place through that body of believers, and that’s a bit insane.

  • Yes, if you stay in a church long enough I promise you that you will see hypocrisy.
  • Someone will say something to you or about you that will hurt you.
  • Decisions will be made that you do not like.
  • There are going to be sermons that make you mad.

When that happens the enemy is going to try his best to convince you to just walk away…because he knows that the first step away from God is usually getting people to step away from the people of God.

Yes, the church, EVERY church, has made some unwise decisions and, in the process have hurt or disappointed people along the way…but let’s not throw the baby out with the bathwater…

  • She’s STILL being built by Jesus–that makes her important!
  • She’s STILL reaching out to the broken, the forgotten and the poor.
  • She’s STILL making a difference that’s going to be seen for eternity.
  • She’s STILL GOD’S PLAN for reaching the world.
  • She’s STILL necessary for believers!  (If church is not necessary then why did Jesus say He would build it, died for it, will one day redeem it and spends so much time in the NT talking to it and about it?”

No, the church is NOT perfect…but neither are you (or me!)  So, when we’re tempted to walk away because of the one thing that seems to hurt us or trip us up we should simply ask, “is this consistent with this church’s character?”

Stay in a church long enough and you will have a bad experience…but let that push you closer to Jesus as you recognize that HE uses imperfect people in His plan, which means sometimes they get it wrong, and then ask the Lord to teach both them and yourself how to best deal with the situation…because, she’s STILL the church and STILL His bride.

Now…anyone want to go to Chick-Fil-A with me?  🙂

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Runners running towards the finish line. Success concept.
Sermons

R U Running Aimlessly? Finding God’s Will

by Roger Barrier
written by Roger Barrier

In order to find purpose and meaning in life, we must learn to recognize God’s will. The Bible identifies six principles that are explicitly the will of God for us. When these are in place, we can learn the specifics of God’s will for our lives with some practical how-to’s: responding in obedience, humbling our hearts, searching the Scriptures, gathering pertinent facts, seeking wise counsel, prayer and listening for God to speak.

“R U RUNNING?”

S-1769

Funny Skit on priorities and the things in life we are chasing

BUMPER VIDEO:

●SLIDE #1: Are You Thirsty? Jesus’ Living water

I have chosen four things that can stem the living waters that Jesus’ promised from flowing out through our souls.

●SLIDE #2: ●We began three Sundays ago with “R U Stressing?

●SLIDE #3: ●Two Sundays ago “R U Pretending?”

●SLIDE #4: ●Last Sunday “R U Bitter and Unforgiving?”

Preach it Teach It sermons and CDs on sale.

●SLIDE #5: ●Are You Running Aimlessly?”

A lot of people don’t have life figured out.

Most can’t define success beyond paying the bills or whether or not my favorite football team made it to the super bowl.

Some of us have no idea what is the clear-cut purpose of our lives. We haven’t thought much past next month.

Want to tell grandchildren what your life was really all about. Here is what I set out to do. What I am all about—what will you say?

Mom: My purpose in life is to raise you boys with proper character and values for life.”

Some of us are still struggling with the basic questions: Why am I here? What is my purpose in life?”

●SLIDE #6: What is God’s will for my life?

●SLIDE #7: Rhonda Sprunger: “To give Him glory in whatever way He chooses for me.”

They told Jesus, you mom and brothers and sisters are waiting out side to see you.

·SLIDE #8: MATTHEW 12:50: “For whoever does the will of my Father in Heaven is my brother and sister and mother.

The Bible Identifies Six Things That Are Explicitly The Will Of God For Us.

·SLIDE #9: 1. IT IS GOD’S WILL THAT WE TRUST IN JESUS CHRIST AS OUR SAVIOR AND LORD.

READ 2 PETER 3:9: The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

SWITCH TO ROGER’S COMPUTER

DRAW SLIDE #10: three circles and darkened spirit which is cleaned up at conversion. Spiritual radio receiver ready to hear from God.

In order to fine purpose and meaning for life we must include God in the equation.

We cannot find the will of God or the purpose of life alone.

●DRAW SLIDE #11: Godel’s Incompleteness Theory:

There are limits to what we can know in any system. There will always be truth outside of the system. Need the truth outside of the system to figure out the system.

Transcendance:

Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle: Quantum level: Can know position or velocity but never both: Limits to quantum mechanics. Something has to come from outside the system to solve the problems—can’t solve the problem.

Entanglement issues and transfer of information tell us the limits of relativity theory.

Touring Computers: Theory of incomplete computation: Feed computer unsolvable problem and it will run forever and never solve the problem. Needs help outside the system to solve.

We are in Box System: Theory of incompleteness applies here as well.

·SLIDE #12: Colossians 2:8-9: See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ. 9 For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, 10 and you are complete in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority.

Story of 80 year old man so excited about coming to Christ at Casas. Wife was overjoyed—first person I have ever helped lead to Christ.

·SLIDE #13: 2. IT IS GOD’S WILL THAT WE KEEP ON BEING FILLED WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT.

READ EPHESIANS 5:17-18: Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit.

“Foolish”   So if you don’t understand what His will is, what are you?  Ah, that’s hard to say.

Well, what is the will of the Lord?  Read the next verse.

DRAW on title slide: draw circles and filling of spirit fill middle circle

Contrast: When drunk with wine, in control of an inside agent. As Christians, must yield control of life to inside agent. Only this agent is not alcohol – it is the Holy Spirit.

Like take glove and say “Glove, go play piano.” What is it going to do? Nothing. Gloves can’t play the piano. Have 5 fingers and are flexible – but it needs a hand.

Now if I pick up glove and put my hand in it and try to play piano, what happens? Chaos.

Julie plays

Point is, if put hand in glove, it just goes. Doesn’t get pious and say “Oh fingers, I’ll follow you forever. I’ll do your commands.” If just goes.

As Christians, we’re like a glove. A lot of gloves are lying around groaning and wondering why they haven’t gone anywhere – and I’ll tell you why – it’s because they’ve never been filled with H.S.

Notice – it’s one thing to have the Holy Spirit. It’s quite another thing to keep on being filled with the Spirit.

●DRAW SLIDE #14: three circles with Sin and Self clog the pipeline

Draw Picture of Bucket being filled up: potatoes—gold balls—marbles—grave.

At what stage of filling are you?

DUI: Breath analyzer: breath out alcohol—or breathe out Jesus into people’s lives.

·SLIDE #15: 3. IT IS GOD’S WILL THAT WE BE PURE AND HOLY—SANCTIFIED = SEET APART FROM WHAT DIRTIES UP OUR LIVES.

READ 1 THESSALONIANS 4:3-7: “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; 4 that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, …. The Lord will punish men for all such sins … For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you His Holy Spirit.”

“Sexual sin is any sexual perversion from adultery to homosexuality to bestiality to pornography to indecent exposure to …

Here some young person saying “How far?” – now that’s a good question – very practical.

Stay far enough away to be what? 99 44/100% pure? – Well – no – far enough away to be pure.

Now, some people never indulge in sex sins but they certainly don’t mind watching other people do it. It is one thing to do it and another thing to be entertained by it! NO! As far as your Christian purity is concerned, it is the same thing.

Hidden dirt: Julie doing laundry: No napkin: wiped mouth on sleeve: Wiped chocolate under arms.

STORY: Anatomy of Lust: Have God or have luscious Cheryl Teiggs (Heidi Klum; Angelia Jolie)

·SLIDE #16: 4. IT IS GOD’S WILL THAT WE SUBMIT TO EVERY AUTHORITY—EVEN WHEN SUBMITTING BRINGS PAIN OR SUFFERING.

READ 1 PETER 2:13-15: Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every authority instituted among men: whether to the king, as the supreme authority, or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right. 15 For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men.

Obey speed laws.  Ouch!

To Chip Brigham, “If you caught me speeding, would you give me a ticket?”  “If you caught me sinning, would you confront me about it?”

It’s God’s will that we submit to government! What if government comes out with law I don’t agree with – Doesn’t matter – obey.

Obey your boss. “Yeah but you don’t know boss that I have.” Doesn’t matter – Submit. You have a perverse one. Obey him.

“Put to silence the ignorant talk of foolish men.”

Where is first contact which people have with Christianity? Not at church – but on job or in neighborhood.

Must be submissive to state & employer because this shows true character of the believer.

Chaplain in state prison tells of interviewing a new prisoner.

        Prisoner: “Say, I’m a minister, too. I was a preacher before I came here.”

        Chaplain: “Then what are you doing with that number?”

        Prisoner: “Man, that’s a long story.”

        Chaplain: “Well do me a favor, tell me a little of it and then don’t tell anyone else that you were a preacher…you’re bad advertisement

Dr. Harold Fickett, 1st Bapt. of Van Nuys, California tells of seeing this happen in a traffic jam.

Guy pulled up behind Christian in traffic jam. Began to honk: BEEP BEEP BEEP, Christian was just fuming, you know how you get – BEEP BEEP BEEP. Finally Christian got out of his car, fuming mad and came around: “Why don’t you stop that!”

“Why I just saw your bumper sticker “Honk if you love Jesus.'”

·SLIDE #17: 5. IT IS GOD’S WILL THAT WE SUFFER FOR DOING SOMETHING GOOD—NOT SOMETHING BAD.

You say, “Well, I finally qualify. Boy do I suffer. I suffer like crazy.”

1 PETER 3:17: It is better, if it is God’s will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil.

1 PETER 4:19: So then, those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.

·SLIDE #18: Randa leading woman’s meeting in country I can’t mention. She is at podium.

She has a ministry to girls raped and thrown out of family.

72 Muslim women so stifled and confined are surrendering to the freedom of life in Christ—facing rejection when they get home. Possible death.

It’s God’s will that we suffer for well being. Rest assured that when you live a godly life in an ungodly society that you’re going to suffer. That’s His will.

·SLIDE #19: 6. IT IS GOD’S WILL THAT WE BE JOYFUL, PRAYFUL AND THANKFUL ALWAYS.

READ 1 THESSALONIANS 5:16-18: Be joyful always; 17 pray continually; 18 give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Attitude: follow an old sour-puss

Person others like to be around

Eric Army Children Moms: Kids who are forced ot move often have two extreme. Life is a great adventure or Angry at bitter.

Eric: My observation is that it all depends on the mother! If she looks at it as an adventure so will they. If she is angry and bitter about always moving, so will they.

If you are doing these 6 things, – you just do whatever you want. That is right, do whatever you want.

·SLIDE #20: PSALM 37:4 “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.”

“Delighting in the Lord” is following His will for your life—these six things!

Hear this verse so misused. People say “Just Praise God and He’ll give you whatever you want?” NO! NO! Hebrew construction reveals differently!

It’s not that He gives you what you want, He gives you the correct wants.

He puts the right desires in your heart!

“You mean, if I do these 6 things and I want a new car then it’s God’s will for me to buy the new car?” Yes, but just remember, when you’re doing these things God may change your priorities and you may not want that car after all.

None of us do these six things perfectly.

We are working in partnership with God to get his will

·SLIDE #21: PRACTICAL “HOW TOs” FOR KNOWING GOD’S WILL

·SLIDE #22: 1. Commit To Doing God’s Will Whatever It May Be (John 7:17).

Otherwise, don’t bother with the rest of the suggestions below.

READ John 7:17: Anyone who wants to do the will of God will know whether my teaching is from God or is merely my own.

Man in my office: “Will you commit to do God’s will whatever It might be.

“First, I want to see what it is.

Prior to their wedding, David and Susan met with the minister to discuss their marriage ceremony and various traditions, such as the lighting of the unity candle from two individual candles. Couples usually blow out the two candles as a sign of becoming one. Their minister said that many people were now leaving their individual candles lit to signify independence and personal freedom. He asked if they wanted to extinguish the candles or leave them burning. After thinking about it, David replied, “How about if we leave mine lit and blow hers out?”

·SLIDE #23: 2. Humble Your Heart In Trust Before The Lord

A little boy walked down the beach, and as he did, he spied a matronly woman sitting under a beach umbrella on the sand. He walked up to her and said, “Are you a Christian?”

“Yes.”

“Do you read your Bible every day?”

She nodded her head. “Yes.”

“Do you pray often?” the boy asked next, and again she answered, “Yes.”

With that he asked his final question. “Will you hold my quarter while I go swimming?”

·SLIDE #24: 3. Search The Scriptures To Find Passages Applicable To Your Situation And Then Interact With The Holy Spirit In Discerning How They Apply.

Most of the situations, opportunities, and decisions the average person encounters in life are already dealt with in the Word of God.

A girl once asked me to pray with her for her life’s mate. Said, “I’ve prayed and agonized and can’t find out for sure. I want to marry a fellow who’s not a Christian and I want to know whether or not that is His will.”

You can stop praying. God’s already revealed it!” “Really? Where?” “in the Bible – Be not equally yoked with unbelievers.” – Don’t even need to waste time with that one. God says, “No.”

Well she went ahead—and she shouldn’t have.

·Slide #25: 4. Gather Pertinent Facts And Make A List Of Pros And Cons.

As we seek to know God’s will, we must gather all the facts we can and assess them, because our decision must be based on knowledge and not hearsay.

·SLIDE #26: 5. Seek Wise Counsel

Proverb 15:22: Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.

A loving and wise friend can often see dangers and detours that are hidden from us.

Buck and measuring tape.

Not every friend is a good counselor, so we must choose wisely.

Three men were marooned on an island. Suddenly a genie appeared and said, “What would you like to have? Any wish is yours.”

One man said, “I miss my family in L.A.” Whoosh – and he was gone. Another said, “I miss my brokerage in Boston. I wish I were back at my desk. I wish I were at work.” Whoosh – and he was gone.

Then the third man said, “I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here.”

·SLIDE #27: 6. Pray for God to make the plan so clear that we can’t miss it.

·SLIDE #28: 7. Listen And Wait Quietly For God To Speak

        a. In Bible Verses

        B. Through God’s People

        C. By Providential Circumstances

        D. During Worship And/Or Prayer

        E. Through Trials And/Or Sufferings

        F. By laying out “Fleeces” (Judges 6:17-40) (Only If God Invites You To Lay One Out)

        G. Through Inner Promptings In The Human Spirit

We are back to where we started.

So, when we have a decision to make,

·SLIDE #29: Do Whatever Your Heart Leads You To Do

PSALM 37:4 “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.”

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