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discernment

Ask Roger

How Can I Recognize a False Religion?

by Tom Terry
written by Tom Terry

Dear Roger,

I have so many people telling me that their way to God is the right way. I’ve been a Christian for a long time, but I have very little knowledge of the Bible that would help me differentiate between the teachings of other religions like Islam and Buddhism. Can you give me some insight.

Love,

Rajesh

Dear Rajesh,

Understanding the unique perspective between Christianity and other religions, will give you certainty about Jesus, salvation, heaven and hell. My good friend Tom Terry has been a missionary all over the world. I’d love for you to hear his answer.

f you’ve ever been confronted by a Mormon at your door, or spent time listening to a Buddhist talk about enlightenment, or sat in a church service of progressives, then you may have wondered to yourself if what was being discussed was true. Maybe your own faith has shaken a bit as you considered the claims of a competing worldview. 

Today, I want to set your mind at ease. I’m going to give you ten brief characteristics of Christianity that will enable you to instantly recognize whether what you are hearing is true or false. That’s right, I said instantly. Once you understand these characteristics, spotting a spiritual fraud will be easy, and you’ll be able to begin holding your ground against a false religious claim. So, let’s get started.

All false religions deny, redefine, or supplement some or all of the following truth:

1. Biblical inspiration, authority, and sufficiency

This means that the Bible is more than a book written by average people. Its source is divine. It is the written authoritative source for the practice of our faith and is sufficient for all of our needs in living the Christian life (II Timothy 3:16; II Peter 1:20; 3:15-16).

If you are told that there is another book, also inspired but apart from the Bible, then you can know that scripture’s authority and sufficiency is being attacked. If you are told that the Bible is not the Word of God, or that it only contains some of the Word of God, then its inspiration is being attacked. This is a common attack by Mormons and Jehovah’s Witnesses against the Bible.

2. Jesus’ incarnation

This means that the fullness of God dwelt in a human body, in Jesus, from conception (Luke 1:35; Colossians 1:19). Attacks against Jesus’ incarnation are popular with Muslims. Attacks against the virgin birth are also attacks against incarnation.

3. Jesus’ humanity

This means that Jesus was fully human in addition to being fully divine (Luke 2:52; I Timothy 2:5; Hebrews 5:8).

4. Jesus’ deity 

Both the Old Testament and the New Testament reveal that Jesus was God in human form (Psalm 110:1; Isaiah 9:6; John 1:1, 8:58; Colossians 1:19). Jehovah’s Witnesses regularly dismiss Jesus’ deity, referring to him instead as a glorified angel. Muslims also dismiss Jesus’ claims to deity.

5. Jesus’ crucifixion 

Jesus’ crucifixion is a historical fact, but some religions deny it took place. This is especially true of Muslims and the Quran, which state that Jesus was never crucified.

6. Jesus’ substitutionary atonement 

Substitutionary atonement is the doctrine that Jesus took our place, our punishment for sin (Isaiah 53:5; II Corinthians 5:21, I Peter 2:24). Forgiveness of sin is made possible because of what Jesus did on our behalf. Atonement is not a picture or type, it is a real event. Without atonement, there can be no forgiveness.

7. Jesus’ bodily resurrection from the dead

Some religions teach that Jesus rose from the dead spiritually. The Bible denies this and states clearly that Jesus rose bodily (physically) from the dead, never to die again (Luke 24:12; 24:39-43; I Corinthians 15:3-8).

8. Jesus’ Lordship (authority)

Lordship is not something that many Christians fully understand. In essence, it means that Jesus Christ has sovereign authority over all things (Matthew 28:18). He has the right to do with us whatever it is that he deems to do, according to his good pleasure. He is Lord (Acts 2:36; Romans 6:23, 10:9; II Corinthians 4:5). Religions which deny Jesus’ deity usually deny his lordship as well.

9. Sin

Every religion has a view of man as good, but misguided, or uneducated, or unenlightened, etc. Only the Bible portrays man as having a sin nature that is in rebellion against God (Romans 3:23, 5:12; Ephesians 2:3). Therefore, only God can provide a solution to our sin problem. He did that in sending Jesus to be the atoning sacrifice for our sins. Denying the doctrine of sin denies the need for forgiveness and salvation, which guts the Gospel. Also, watch out for redefinitions of sin, popular in Buddhism and other eastern religions.

10. Salvation by grace

This means that it is only by God’s grace that man receives forgiveness of sin. There is nothing that we can do to earn salvation or forgiveness. Salvation is a gift (Ephesians 2:5). Every religion, apart from Christianity teaches a works-oriented salvation of some kind. Only the Bible teaches a grace model.

A false religion does not need to deny all ten of these doctrines to be revealed as a false religion. Some groups teach a few points, some teach others. However, by denying these things as true, such groups place themselves outside of orthodoxy and are therefore, without salvation, without a relationship with God.

But what about…?

Most religions believe in helping the poor, recognizing a spiritual or other-worldly realm, and doing good works. But these things do not differentiate the true from the false. What is the difference between a Buddhist or a Muslim or a Christian giving money to a homeless guy? None. Their acts of mercy, by themselves, don’t verify the claims of their founders. Therefore, it goes to the fundamentals of their faith. What do they believe about the Divine, about salvation, about sin, etc.? Those religions which deny these truths cannot lead a person to God.

Cults, like Mormonism and the Watchtower mainly redefine these fundamentals to include things that are outside biblical truth. In this way they appear genuine, but in reality are just as false as Buddhism, or Islam, or any other non-Christian faith. For instance, the term, Son of God may be used by Mormons. But what that means is different from the biblical usage. The Bible refers to Jesus as an uncreated, divine being. But Mormons refer to Jesus as a created being, the spirit brother of Lucifer. This denies Jesus’ uniqueness.

All religions share two things of importance: a person and a practice. The religion reveres its founder and prescribes a set of practices to follow in order to obtain salvation or a higher state of existence. Christianity is different. It has observances like the Lord’s Supper and baptism, but the observances themselves carry no saving power. They point to something higher, the person of Jesus, who alone has saving power. When it comes to good works like helping the poor and oppressed, other religions require such work to earn salvation. But in Christianity these works have no saving power. In other religions, observances and practices are necessary for salvation, or ascension, or enlightenment. Essentially, this is works oriented and a denial of number ten, salvation by grace. Properly understood, we do these works in response to what Christ has already done for us, but not to obtain salvation, which is unobtainable apart from God’s grace.

All ten of these things are exclusive. The Bible demands exclusivity in its truth and prescriptions. In other words, you can’t believe in the inspiration of the Bible and Book of Mormon, or the Quran since they contradict one another. Divine inspiration is for the Bible only. You can’t believe in Buddhist rebirth and resurrection, they are mutually exclusive (Hebrews 9:27). You can’t believe in Jesus’ authority and Mohammad’s authority, or Buddha’s authority. Jesus’ authority is exclusive; and so on. Jesus condemned the blending of false religion and its practices with faith in him (Exodus 32:4,19-20; Revelation 2:14-15). This is called, syncretism, and it is always condemned in the Bible.

If you remember and hold on to a right understanding of these ten things, you will be able to recognize a false religion right away, whether it is old or new, or eastern or western. And from there you can embolden your witness for Christ by helping the other person learn the truth about the Bible, Jesus, and their own need for salvation by grace.

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Articles

19 Ways to Stay Christian in College

by Matt Smethurst
written by Matt Smethurst

Michael J. Kruger’s book, Surviving Religion 101: Letters to a Christian Student on Keeping the Faith in College (Crossway, 2021) is a wonderful resource for high school or college students preparing to live for Christ in a potentially hostile environment.

Don’t confuse not having an answer with there not being an answer.

The two are not the same. Even if you don’t have answers to difficult questions, that does not mean there are none. . . . Here’s the big point: you’re not going to be able to answer every objection to Christianity that you hear. And that’s okay. It’s not a reason to doubt your faith. (31, 32)

Apart from the Spirit’s help, people are hardwired to reject Christianity. . . .

Thus, the widespread rejection of Christianity by intellectual elites has nothing to do with whether Christianity is true. . . . Truth is not determined by majority vote. (45, 46, 49)

Is Jesus arrogant to claim that he is the only way to God?

Well, that depends on [his] identity. He didn’t claim to be a mere human or simply a prophet, but rather the divine Son of God. And as such, he would certainly have the authority to tell us about how one goes to heaven. (55)

Relativism only works if the statement “There is no objective truth” is objectively true.

Thus, relativism only works if it exempts itself from its own rules. . . . In order for relativists to condemn others for making absolute truth claims, they must make their own absolute truth claims (namely, that there are no absolute truths). Thus, what seemed to be a humble position ends up being as dogmatic and absolutist as the positions it condemns. (59)

Stand your ground. And always do so with kindness. It’s the combination of these two things that is so powerful.

Some Christians stand their ground but are unkind to those who disagree. Other Christians are kind to those who disagree but abandon their belief that Christ is the only way. You are called to do both—stand your ground on the uniqueness of Christ and show kindness. The two are not mutually exclusive but belong together. (62)

Most of your friends are both moral relativists and moral absolutists at the same time.

For some behaviors, they are one; for other behaviors, they are the other. They pick and choose. So when it comes to environmentalism and the treatment of refugees, they abandon moral relativism and act as if there are moral absolutes after all. But when it comes to their sexual behavior, they suddenly become moral relativists again, insistent that morality is determined by each person and culture. They want to have it both ways. (70)

Your moral views (particularly about sex) are not really your views at all; they are God’s.

That means that if people think your views are hateful, then they would have to think that God himself is hateful. If people get upset with you, just remember that they are really upset with the God you serve. The goal of your conversations, therefore, will be not so much about helping your friends understand your views as about helping them understand your God. (74)

If Christians change their view of homosexuality simply because they discover that homosexuals are nice people, then that actually reveals a very embarrassing reality, namely, that they had assumed homosexuals must be awful people.

Sexual purity is not based on personality, but on the truth of the Word of God. In other words, it reveals that they had a form of prejudice—they had assumed that people who are different from them must be mean, cruel, and unpleasant. But that is a decidedly anti-Christian way of thinking. (79)

Most people find hell unimaginable because they measure themselves by a standard that they can already meet.

But what if the standard was not easy to meet? What if the standard was God’s perfect holiness, and what if we were corrupt, fallen sinners who violate God’s law even more than we know? (95–96)

What should surprise us is not that God would judge sinners (that actually makes sense) but that he would save any of them.

Heaven, not hell, is the real mystery of Scripture. (102)

Either God exists and there’s good and evil in the world, or God doesn’t exist and there’s no good and evil in the world. . . .

The problem of evil is very real. But it is more of a problem for the atheist than it is for the Christian. (117)

Far from being a hindrance to science, belief in God is the very thing that makes science possible in the first place.

Christianity doesn’t need science; science needs Christianity. (125)

One of the best pieces of evidence of the resurrection of Jesus is the existence of the church itself.

If Jesus had remained in the tomb, there would be no such thing as Christianity. (142)

If [the Gospels] were written between twenty and sixty years after the life of Jesus, that means they were written when people who had witnessed these things were still alive.

In other words, they were written when someone could step forward and say, “That’s not how it happened. I was there.” We might say, then, that there was at least some level of accountability surrounding the publication of these four Gospels. If the authors were fabricating their stories, it is difficult to imagine how they would have been so enthusiastically received. (164)

[The New Testament] might just be the most well-established text in all the ancient world.

If it cannot be trusted, then no ancient text anywhere can be trusted. (176)

The teachings of Christianity, rightly understood, were the foundation for the defeat of the African slave trade. (206)

Despite the modern impression that Christianity is a hostile place for women, Roman women didn’t agree.

On the contrary, they flocked to the new faith in droves. Our best estimates indicate that women made up nearly two-thirds of early Christian communities—basically the opposite of that found in the broader Greco-Roman world. Apparently, women found the church to be a place where they could find honor, dignity, fair treatment, and healthy marriages. Indeed, so popular was early Christianity among women that it was often ridiculed by Roman critics as a religion for women. (208–9)

Skeptics are appealing to a moral standard in order to object to the God of the Bible.

But they need the God of the Bible in order to have a coherent moral standard in the first place. In effect, they are sawing off the branch they are sitting on. (214)

It’s not just belief that affects behavior, but it’s also behavior that affects belief.

When we don’t obey God, we can begin to doubt God. Indeed, if we don’t obey God, we can begin to fight against God. He can feel like the enemy, rather than a friend. (224)

Reprinted from www.thegospelcoalition.org.

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Bible Studies

Bible Absolutes, Spiritual Convictions and Personal Opinions

by Don McMinn
written by Don McMinn

What do you believe and why?

There is a difference between a biblical absolute, a spiritual conviction, and a personal opinion. It’s important to know the difference and not misapply them. This chart defines the three terms and explains how they differ.

Source Characteristics Proper attitude Example
Biblical absolute The Bible God’s eternal, objective truth applicable to everyone I embrace this and I encourage you to embrace it too. Thou shalt not steal.
Personal conviction The Holy Spirit’s conviction and leadership A personal conviction that I should follow I embrace this personal conviction but I don’t expect you to. We send our children to private, Christian school.
Personal opinion and preference Self A personal preference I have personal preferences, but I’m also willing, at times, to yield to your preferences. I prefer traditional worship, but I know many people prefer contemporary worship, so let’s offer both.

There are several ways to misapply these terms.

 

Sometimes, we call something a biblical absolute when it is not. Ex: “Christians should not drink alcohol.” There is no biblical prohibition for drinking alcohol. It may be your spiritual conviction, but it’s not a biblical absolute. We misrepresent God and confuse people when we label something as sin that the Bible doesn’t.

 

 

Sometimes, we erroneously elevate a spiritual conviction to the level of biblical absolute. Ex: “You must have a daily quiet time.” This is certainly a good idea, but it’s a spiritual conviction, not a biblical absolute. Don’t suggest that God will be displeased at me if I don’t have a daily quiet time.

 

 

While it’s good and normal to have personal preferences, at times we may need to hold them loosely and yield to the preferences of others. We should acknowledge and accept other people’s preferences.

Consider each of these statements. Is it a biblical absolute, spiritual conviction, or personal preference?

  1. Do not speak unwholesome words.
    2. We should sing only hymns in church.
    3. Forgive one another.
    4. I like living in the country.
    5. We should sing only praise choruses at church.
    6. I’m going to read my Bible every morning before I go to work.
    7. I would rather spend my extra money on nice clothes than a nice car.
    8. It’s important for a church to have Sunday night services.
    9. Be completely gentle.
    10. We feel strongly that our children should attend public school.
    11. Encourage one another.
    12. I’m going to participate in the anti-abortion rally.
    13. On my day off, I enjoy solitude.

Numbers 1,3,9 and 11 are directives from the Bible, so they are nonnegotiable. Numbers 6,10 and 12 are spiritual convictions. The remaining statements are preferences.

Know when to hold tight to your persuasions and when to hold them loosely.

Remember Romans 14: 8-13 before you judge another Christian. Paul writes:

“Living or dying we follow the Lord. Either way we are his. 9 Christ died and rose again for this very purpose, so that he can be our Lord both while we live and when we die.

10 You have no right to criticize your brother or look down on him. Remember, each of us will stand personally before the Judgment Seat of God. 11 For it is written, “As I live,” says the Lord, “every knee shall bow to me and every tongue confess to God.” 12 Yes, each of us will give an account of himself to God.

13 So don’t criticize each other anymore. Try instead to live in such a way that you will never make your brother stumble by letting him see you doing something he thinks is wrong.” NLB

www.donmcminn.com.

 

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Ask Roger

How Can I Help My Abused Child?

by Roger Barrier
written by Roger Barrier

Dear Roger, 
It’s been almost a year since I took my three children and left my husband. At that time, my daughters were 15 and 13, and my son was 9. My daughters both told me that my husband (their stepfather) was saying sexual things to them. My 13-year-old even had a text from my husband that was very explicit. Once I saw the text, I had proof of my girls’ accusations. 
About three months after we left, my husband was indicted with two charges of indecency with a child—one charge for each of my daughters—which he is currently fighting in court. Since we left, I have had minimal contact with him until recently. He is in anger management classes and seeing a psychiatrist to deal with sex addiction.
He is adamant that he never touched my girls. They agree, but through all our interviews and counseling, we have come to know that what he did was “grooming.” He admits to the harm he caused. My husband feels that what he has done can be forgiven and we can repair our marriage.
But my girls have so much anger for him. He is no longer in our lives and nowhere near my children. They are so young, and their pain is so deep. I want to do the right thing for us all, but I feel lost in all of this. Can you give any advice? 
Sincerely, Name Withheld

Dear Name Withheld,

I grieve for you and your children and for the pain and hurt you are enduring. I know that you all have suffered greatly. I hurt for you. Your children will need much care and comfort so as not to come out of this experience deeply scarred.

One of the best ways to help them through their emotional pain is to do what Jesus suggested in Matthew 5:4; “Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted.” Your children are mourning. Sometimes the best thing is to put your arms around them, listen to their hurts and needs, and cry with them.

Biblical Grounds for Divorce

While you didn’t mention actually divorcing your husband, I am certain that the idea crossed your mind. So let me confirm that you have “biblical grounds” for divorce if you want it.

According to Jesus, sexual perversion breaks the marriage bonds. The Greek word translated as “adultery,” which He used in Matthew 19:9, is “porneia.” The word means much more than adultery. It includes a wide umbrella of illicit sexual activities including adultery, pornography, bestiality, fornication, and incest (suggested or otherwise).

You may also want to read Ephesians 5:25-31, where the responsibilities of a husband are clearly laid out. A husband who does not live up to these responsibilities has quite clearly broken the bond of marriage.

On the other hand, while you have biblical grounds for divorce, you by no means have to exercise that right. You can certainly work to restore your marriage and your relationship with your estranged husband.

However, I suggest that you leave your children out of this procedure. I would never put your children through the trauma of living under the same roof with him again. Please recognize that his efforts to justify his behavior in the court system—fighting the charges—may be more hurtful than his original behavior with the children. In essence, he is calling them liars.

The Risk of Repeat Behavior

Next, those involved in child sexual abuse very rarely get “well.” From my own genetic and brain chemistry research, it seems to me that those involved in child sexual abuse seem to be “wired” differently than others who are not attracted to children. This is why so many child-sexual abusers immediately return to their dastardly activities as soon as they find the opportunity.

Please don’t take this to mean that your husband is definitely a child-sex abuser via his brain chemistry. He may have just allowed his old sin nature to overwhelm him. The fact that he is seeing a psychiatrist is encouraging, whether he is “wired” that way or not. I hope that he gets help so that he will never act this way again.

Don’t Minimize His Actions

If I seem rather intolerant of your husband’s behavior, it is simply because there are lines that should not be crossed. Your husband crossed several. This is intolerable.

I always find the term “grooming” rather strange. An adult has no business interacting with your girls in any form or fashion—and especially writing them indecent notes about himself. Whatever he did, he certainly “scared your kids to death.” His behavior was painfully dysfunctional.

Please don’t minimize in your mind what he did or didn’t do. The fact that your children are reacting the way they are is evidence that whatever he did is more than just inappropriate. It was nasty, humiliating, and terrifying.

That’s why my biggest concern is for you and your children. I think that you should keep your children as far away from their stepdad as you possibly can. I hope that eventually, over time, they will heal from the trauma and work through the pain, usually with time, loving counsel, and care. Please don’t try to make the kids forgive him at the present time, this pressure will only cause more hurt to their young psyches.

Pursue Medical Help for Trauma

I am a huge proponent of counseling and psychiatric treatment for you and your children. Sexual abuse and marital issues are tough to carry alone—we all need help to understand what happened and heal from it. A strong biblical counselor can walk you and your children through the trauma you’ve all experienced and rebuild healthy relationships. Sometimes, trauma can cause brain chemistry changes that need to be addressed medically. Please, pursue medical and mental healthcare for you and your children.

What Forgiveness Means in This Situation

Finally, you may want to restore your relationship with your husband. If so, go slowly. Be certain you really understand the meaning of forgiveness—for both you and your children.

1. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting. 

I do not know who coined the admonition “forgive and forget.” I do know that it is impossible to “forget” at will. And perhaps that’s a good thing; remembering hurts can help us avoid similar situations in the future.

2. Forgiving does not mean letting the one who hurt you “off the hook.” 

The issue here is justice. Those who hurt people need to pay for what they’ve done. It’s natural to want to hold on to your perceived right to “get even.” However, the truth is that when we forgive—when we let people off of our “hook”—they are still on God’s hook for vengeance or grace and forgiveness.

3. Forgiving is not a sign of weakness. 

Forgiveness is not a passive behavior that allows the person to keep on hurting you or others. On the contrary! Forgiveness is a courageous act that reflects the grace, kindness, and compassion of Christ.

4. Forgiving does not mean that we must pick up the relationship with the one who hurt us as if nothing ever happened. 

Forgiveness does not demand that we reenter an abusive or toxic relationship with the unrepentant offender. If the offender is repentant, we can choose to establish boundaries, giving the offender—over a period of time—the opportunity to demonstrate his/her trustworthiness as a precondition to authentic intimacy. Regaining trust can take a long time—if ever.

5. Forgiving sometimes needs outside help.

I am a huge proponent of counseling and psychiatric treatment. Sexual abuse and marital issues are tough to carry alone—we all need help to understand what happened and heal from it. A strong biblical counselor can walk you and your children through the trauma you’ve all experienced and rebuild healthy relationships. Sometimes, trauma can cause brain chemistry changes that need to be addressed medically. Please, pursue medical and mental healthcare.

Again, I grieve for you and your pain. Everything in your life has been turned topsy-turvy. You never expected this to happen. Life was never intended to be like this. May God bless you and your children as you pick up the pieces and struggle through these days to great victory as Jesus pours in the power and strength for all you need (Philippians 4:10-13).

Love, Roger

 

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Articles

Think Again: Examine Your Mindset

by John Beeson
written by John Beeson

Social psychologist Adam Grant believes that the most powerful thing we can do to improve our thinking is to change the way we approach thinking. In Think Again Grant argues that the unmovable beliefs we have are potentially the most dangerous and probably the most likely to be wrong. By cultivating a curious mindset that sees re-learning, re-thinking, and re-assessing beliefs as a positive experience, we can improve as thinkers and human beings.

Grant introduces four types: the preacher, prosecutor, politician, and scientist. The preacher is convinced they are right and tries to convince others they are right. The prosecutor tries to convince someone else they’re wrong. The politician tries to win the audience. The scientist looks at the data and constantly re-evaluates their beliefs.

As a preacher I don’t love the names of the types :)… but I appreciate the basic insight. Grant urges the reader to “favor humility over pride and curiosity over conviction.” When we act as scientists, “You look for reasons why you might be wrong, not just reasons why you must be right.”

I resonate with the need to grow in this area. I love the idea of getting a rush from discovering I am wrong about something and experiencing joy in being corrected. The more we can embrace the unknown, the more our curiosity and humility will grow. The challenge is that “We favor the comfort of conviction over the discomfort of doubt,” Grant says.

Grant points out that intelligence and even expertise can backfire. He says that, “Research reveals that the higher you score on an IQ test, the more likely you are to fall for stereotypes, because you’re faster at recognizing patterns. And recent experiments suggest that the smarter you are, the more you might struggle to update your beliefs.” Our strongest weapon for intellectual growth—our brains—can actually be our greatest foes.

Organizationally we can help reinforce the conjoined attributes of humility and curiosity by creating feedback loops, demonstrating these traits as leaders, and modeling that learning, feedback, and admitting when we are wrong are all positive traits. I loved how Grant modeled this himself at the end of the book by asking questions about what he got wrong in the book and sharing what he is currently re-thinking.

Only two aspects detracted from Think Again for me. First was Grant’s model of four types, which caricatured the worst of the preacher, politician, and prosecutor while caricaturing the best of the scientist. It’s a helpful model, but one that I think reifies some unhelpful cultural stereotypes. The second aspect was was some of the studies that Grant pulled in later in the book that felt a little more tangential. That said, this is a great book for anyone to read. It’s an easy read that will nudge you toward humility and curiosity–who doesn’t need more of those in their life?

www.thebeehive.live.

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Ask Roger

How Do I Become the Wisest Person in the Room?

by Roger Barrier
written by Roger Barrier

Dear Roger,

I am really enjoyed reading through the book of Proverbs. I was wondering if you could summarize what you consider to be the most practical teaching from the entire book.

Sincerely, Cameron

 

Dear Cameron,

What an intriguing question! I’ve never considered trying to describe the overall teachings of Proverbs in one sitting.

THE WISEST PERSON I EVER KNEW

The wisest man I ever knew was Gary Shrader. We pastored together for almost 50 years. I’ve sat with him through hundreds of meetings with hundreds of people who were expressing all sorts of thoughts and ideas.

 

Gary would sit silently until everyone had their say. Then, with wisdom and simplicity he shared his thoughts. Time and time again someone in the group would say, “Why didn’t we see that in the first place?”

 

I hired Gary to be our youth pastor the week after he was graduated seminary. I noticed on his resume that he was valedictorian of his high school. I hired him sight unseen because I believed that anyone who was that smart could handle the job we had! Only later did I learn that there were only 13 students in his graduating class. Fortunately, it didn’t take long for me to realize that we had hired one of the wisest persons that we ever hired.

 

FOUR EXAMPLES WHY KNOWING PROVERBS IS SO IMPORTANT

 

First Example:

Have you ever cut someone off in traffic? And it was all your fault? And the other driver pulled up along side of you and gave you “a piece of his/her mind?

I was driving from Dallas to Ft. Worth four days a week when I attended Seminary. I was always late and always tired.

In a hurry, I pulled out in front of another car. The driver was angry. I was wrong. As we approached a red light I stopped 30 feet back so we would not face each when we stopped short of the line.

He stopped beside me 30 feet back. He rolled down his window to yell at me. I did not want an altercation.

What should I say?

Fortunately, I knew Proverb 15:1:

“A gentle answer turns away wrath,

but a harsh word stirs up anger.” KJV

As our windows rolled down, I spoke first: “I am sorry. I was wrong to cut you off. I was in a hurry and what I did was rude and selfish. Will you forgive me for what I did?”

He was startled. He was taken totally off guard. “Uh, well, O.K. Just don’t do it again.”

Second Example:

One of our counselors came to me with a problem. Two individuals in our church family were fighting and it was messy. They had not asked for his help; but, our counselor was wondering if he should intervene. He really did not want to get involved, but wondered if he should? “What do you think I should do?”, he queried.

Fortunately, I knew Proverb 26:17:

 “Like one who seizes a mad dog by the ears

is a passer-by who meddles in a quarrel not his own.” KJV

Third Example:

I was sitting in a church leadership meeting when a disgruntled church member got out of his chair and walked behind me and began to speak against me. He didn’t like our plans to move our overcrowded church to a new location. (Four Sunday morning and two Sunday night services was just too much. We often watched people drive around looking for a parking space and when they couldn’t find one, they simply drove away.).

The angry church member walked behind me and put his hand on my shoulders. He said some rather nasty things about me and my leadership. What would God want me to do?

Fortunately, I knew Proverb 19:11:

“A man’s wisdom gives him patience;

it is to his glory to overlook an offense.” KJV

Fourth Example:

Steve Dowdle, the head of our Pastoral Care Department, once came to my office and said, “Roger, you have done something wrong which needs attention. I need to rebuke you according to biblical guidelines because I believe you have wronged someone in our congregation.”.

Fortunately, I knew Proverb 17:10:

 “A word of rebuke goes deeper into a man of understanding than a hundred blows into the back of a fool.” KJV

Proverbs Is More Than Clever Little Sayings Or Hints About How To Run Your Life. The Book Of Proverbs Is All About The Pursuit Of Wisdom.

By The Way, The Smartest Person In The Room Is The One Who Best Knows Proverbs.

The Payoff Is Huge when We arrange Our Lives Around Acquiring Wisdom.

 

“Get wisdom, get understanding; do not forget my words or swerve from them. Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you. Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding. Esteem her and she will exalt you; embrace her, and she will honor you” (Proverbs 4:5-7). KJV

 

Cameron, let us think about this by scrolling through some people we know. Do you know any wise ones?

Do you know any wise dads? Dads who have their lives in order and raise their sons to have their lives in order? Wise dads know when to encourage? Dads who know when to come along side tenderly? And when to correct forcefully? Dads who listen, and who know when to teach and when to let the consequences of life be the teacher.

“The father of a righteous child has great joy; a man who fathers a wise son rejoices in him” (Proverbs 23:24).

“Listen, my sons, to a father’s instruction; pay attention and gain understanding” (Proverbs 4:1).

Let’s put a value on wise dads. How much are wise dads worth? If you don’t have a father, God can provide you with a spiritual father-a mentor.

 

Let me let you in on a secret. I know a lot of men and women for whom life is not working very well. It is not that they aren’t smart. It is not that they aren’t trying hard. Life just isn’t working because they had a foolish dad. A foolish dad makes life very hard.

 

On the other hand, I know a lot of men and women who are doing really well. Life is working. What is the common denominator? They will say, “I grew up in the home with a great dad.”

The same thing can be said about wise mothers.

“Her children arise and call her blessed;

her husband also, and he praises her” (Proverb 31:28). KJV

What is the value of a wise mom and dad? Ask children who have grown up with wise parents and they will tell you, “wise parents are better than gold.”

Now, let’s turn this around. How do parents feel about their children when they walk in paths of wisdom.

Proverb 15:20: “A wise son brings joy to his father,” KJV

What is better than that?!

I decided long ago that whether my children are well known or live in big houses or have big salaries doesn’t really matter to me—but that they walk in wisdom—that they understand God’s ways and pursue them is everything to me.

THE CONSEQUENCES ARE HUGE WHEN WE ARRANGE OUR LIVES AROUND FOOLISHNESS.

 “The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn,

shining ever brighter till the full light of day.

But the way of the wicked is like deep DARKNESS;

they do not know what makes them stumble” (Proverb 4:18-19). KJV

This book minces no words on this subject. Proverbs refers to the lack of wisdom as foolishness.

Proverbs often mentions several classes of people who desperately need wisdom: the fool, the simple, the scorner, the lazy, and the wicked.

Unfortunately. It is easy to follow the way of a fool. We are all born with a case of the “Follies.”

“Folly is bound up in the heart of a child,

but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him” ( Proverb 22:15). KJV

We are not born with a blank slate so that we can easily chose the path of wisdom. We are all born with a bent toward foolishness.

This foolishness has to be driven out step-by-step, day-by-day, month-by-month, and the foolishness must be replaced by wisdom, or we will eventually wake up to realize that we’ve been fools!

 “A man’s own folly ruins his life,

yet his heart rages against the LORD”  Proverb 19:3). KJV

Very few things are more foolish than getting at odds with God when what we’ve done is it our fault.

Foolishness reminds me of the old nomad who awakened hungry in the middle of the night. He lit a candle and began eating dates from a bowl beside his bed.

He took a bite from one and saw a worm in it; so he threw it outside the tent. He picked up a second date, took a bite out of it and found another worm. He threw it outside the tent. He picked up a third date, took a bite out of it, and found another worm. He threw it out.

He was very hungry, and realized he would not have any dates left if he continued like this.

So, he blew out the candle and ate the rest of the dates.

Too many of us prefer darkness and denial to the light of reality

NOW IS THE TIME TO enroll in the school of wisdom AND START BECOMING WISE.

  1. Read a chapter of Proverbs every day.

 

There are 31 chapters in the book of Proverbs. Read one chapter every day and each month you will have read through the entire book. This is how you become the wisest person in the group.

 

  1. Whenever A Life Experience Needs Attention, Turn To The Book Of Hebrews For Advice On What To Do.

 

Guidance from the Holy Spirit plus wisdom from the book of Proverbs make a powerful team. The personification of wisdom reaches its climax in the Person of Jesus Christ. He is able to fit the pieces of life together.

 

  1. You Don’t Have To Wait To Begin Making Wise Decisions.

 

Start reading the book of Proverbs right now. If you miss a day don’t try to catch up. Just jump to the next day. Catch the one that you missed next month.

 

  1. Spend Time With Wise People.

Very few of us can run with a bad pack of dogs and not get fleas.

“He Who Walks With The Wise Grows Wise,

But A Companion Of Fools Suffers Harm” (Proverb 13:20. KJV

Hang around with people on path to wisdom. Not folly.

 

  1. Apply Wisdom To Your Life.

Truth for living is not abstract truth. It means that you have to do something—not just know something.

 

  1. If You Have Wise Parents Then Listen And Put Into Practice Their Advice And Guidance.

If mom and dad weren’t all that wise, then be especially diligent in reading Proverbs every day, and seek the counsel of the wise as often as you can.

As our relationship with Jesus grows, what begins with fear matures into perfect love.

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love” 1 John 4:18. KJV

 

Well, Cameron, thanks for asking such a thought-provoking question. I hope that my response is helpful.

 

Love, Roger

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Bible Studies

How to Examine Our Hearts: 1 John

by Tom Terry
written by Tom Terry

Let’s do a little Bible study together through I John 3:19-4:4. First, let’s look at our passage.

By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before him; 20 for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything. 21Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God; 22 and whatever we ask we receive from him, because we keep his commandments and do what pleases him. 23And this is his commandment, that we believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us. 24Whoever keeps his commandments abides in God, and God in him. And by this we know that he abides in us, by the Spirit whom he has given us.

Test the Spirits

4 Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world. 2By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, 3 and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you heard was coming and now is in the world already. 4 Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.

EXAMINATION

Let’s break down our passage verse by verse, looking for the main theme in our passage.

(v.19-20) “By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before him; 20 for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything.”

Every person who is a true Christian will be convicted about their sin, even during their Christian experience. If we have no conviction about our sin, then we may take that as a sign that perhaps we are not really in Christ. But, in this passage there is also hope. Because John says, “God is greater than our heart.” In other words, the believer has the forgiveness of God.

Then John goes on to say (v.21), “If our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God.”

Here is the opposite. If we have no conviction about specific sins, then we should not worry and can be confident that our relationship with God is unbroken, uninterrupted.

(v.22) “We keep his commandments and do what pleases him.”

First, I want to ask, what pleases the Lord? Do we want God to take pleasure in our lives? We can recall what kind of joy and happiness we have when we see our kids or our grandkids learning and experiencing life and doing good. Imagine that same kind of reaction that you have being the kind of reaction that God has when he looks at your life, through Christ. He feels pleasure about your life as you follow and love him.

Now, notice something else in this passage. Three times in two verses John uses the word, command. (v.23-24). “And this is his commandment, that we believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us. Whoever keeps his commandments abides in God.”

Remember that in the past we’ve said when something is repeated it is important. So, let’s stop down and ask why John uses the word, command so often in just two short verses. Look at the structure. First, he says to believe in Jesus is his command. Then he says to love one another is his command. Then he broadens it to saying that he who keeps these commands abides in God.

Consider these questions: How can God “command” us to love him? Isn’t love an expression of the heart? Aren’t there people we love and don’t love and can’t help ourselves either way? Why is it legitimate for God to “command” us to love him?

“God does not want us to perform for him; he wants us to please him. He wants our obedience to arise out of love for him not merely out of obligation” (“Sure of Victory,” Bible Studies for Life, Senior Adults, Fall 2021).

(v.24) “By this we know that he abides in us, by the Spirit whom he has given us.”

Here is a follow-up to his use of the word command. John finalizes his statement by saying that the Spirit is within us. We follow his commands because the Holy Spirit indwells us. It is actually God who makes love for others, possible. When we were in Mongolia, I was challenged to love someone who was my enemy.

I was accused of a crime by a former employee. She filed 46 counts of slander against me. In Mongolia slander is a criminal offense that carries a sentence of as long as 10 years in prison. Thankfully, the prosecutor threw out the case since there was nothing to it. But God had to work on my heart. I had to learn how to love this person, and forgive her, by faith. Eventually we reconciled and forgave one another our wrongs. It was only possible for me to forgive her through the power of the Holy Spirit. Thus, I can abide in love for someone who made me their enemy because of the power of the Holy Spirit to work forgiveness in my heart.

(4:1) “Do not believe every spirit but test the spirits to see whether they are from God.”

What kinds of “tests” can we do to know that we are in Christ? And what are the tests we need to use to determine false prophets and teachers from the genuine?

Now, there are two things going on here. First, we test ourselves to be sure we are in the kingdom. But these same tests can be applied to others to see if they are in the kingdom as well. So, let’s go through some tests we can apply to ourselves and others so that we can know if someone, or if we, are truly Christians. First, an example.

I had an employee who confessed that she was a Christian. Said she was a Christian but in our last meeting she said about Jesus, “I hate him. He never did anything for me. I hate him.” Though she made a profession of faith down the isle, in reality, she was not a believer. No true believer can say they hate the Lord. I Corinthians 12:3 says, “I want you to understand that no one speaking in the Spirit of God ever says, ‘Jesus is accursed!’ and no one can say ‘Jesus is Lord’ except in the Holy Spirit.” My friend failed the test of being a true Christian.

John has already given us a few tests in our passage.

Verse 20 gives a first test. It says, “For whenever our heart condemns us.” When we are convicted about our sin it demonstrates that we are sensitive to the Spirit’s conviction.

Verse 22 says, “We do what pleases him.” What pleases God?

Verse 24, “Whoever keeps his commandments.” What does it mean to keep God’s commandments?

Verse 24, “The Spirit is within us.” How do we know we have the Spirit? We know by faith, trusting Jesus words when he says the Spirit will come to those who believe.

Carefully consider what John says here: (vs.2-3) “Every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God.”

There are other tests so that we may be assured of our salvation or know if someone is a true believer or not.

Test by the scriptures. Acts 17:11 says, “Now these Jews were more noble than those in Thessalonica; they received the word with all eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily to see if these things were so.” If we examine our lives against the teachings of Jesus, what do we come away with? The people in this passage, the Bereans, tested the apostle Paul’s teaching against scripture and came to a positive conclusion about who Jesus is. We can do the same thing with our lives.

Does it take away or add to scripture? Revelation 22:18-19 says, “I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: if anyone adds to them, God will add to him the plagues described in this book, and if anyone takes away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God will take away his share in the tree of life and in the holy city, which are described in this book.”

When you consider your life or the life of another against scripture, are you tempted to reject, or disregard, or ignore a passage because it makes you uncomfortable or contradicts something in your life? This is no different than changing scripture itself. We must not bend the scripture to fit our desires. And we must not bend ourselves to fit scripture. Instead, we must be broken before the Lord, submitting everything to God in totality. Break, not bend.

We have the conviction of the Holy Spirit about who Jesus is. John 16:8-9 says, “When [the Holy Spirit] comes, he will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment: concerning sin, because they do not believe in me…” If you have no conviction about who Jesus is then that is a warning sign that something might be wrong.

There is a major test of authenticity that God gave us through Moses in Deuteronomy 18. It is the first test we are given about the genuineness of a prophet or teacher, and we may apply it to our own hearts as well. Deuteronomy 18:20-22 says, “The prophet who presumes to speak a word in my name that I have not commanded him to speak, or who speaks in the name of other gods, that same prophet shall die.’ And if you say in your heart, ‘How may we know the word that the LORD has not spoken?’— when a prophet speaks in the name of the LORD, if the word does not come to pass or come true, that is a word that the LORD has not spoken; the prophet has spoken it presumptuously. You need not be afraid of him.”

Here are more tests that we can apply to ourselves to see whether or not we, or someone else, are in Christ.

We talk about the Lord. Notice what Moses said about this in Deuteronomy 6:7. “You shall
teach them diligently to your children and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and
when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”

Surround myself with things of the Lord. “You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates” (Deuteronomy 6:8-9).

Love the scripture. Moses wrote in Deuteronomy 32:47 about the place that scripture should have in our lives. Scripture, speaking of itself says, “This is not an idle word for you. Indeed, it is your life.” Jesus reiterated this when he said, “If anyone loves me, he will keep my word…whoever does not love me does not keep my words” (John 14:23-24). Here’s one more from Deuteronomy, “These words that I command you today shall be on your heart” (Deuteronomy 6:6).

Bring my thoughts under the control of the Holy Spirit. What do you think about the most?

How often in a day, or even a week, do you contemplate spiritual things? The Apostle Paul said in II Corinthians 10:5, “Take every thought captive to obey Christ.” When we are faced with temptation or have troubling thoughts that disturb us, we should be engaged in intentionally submitting our thought life to the control of the Holy Spirit. Sometimes this takes work. We all have bad thoughts from time to time. When this occurs, we should confess them to God and begin to think of scripture or biblical principles that are the opposite of what we are struggling with. For instance, if I feel the temptation coming on, I say to myself, “No. I don’t want to go there. I will think and commit acts of faithfulness.”

We want others to love the Lord.

Consider what Jesus said in the Great Commission. “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations…teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you” (Matthew 28:19-20). This principle is built into the Christian experience. It is the primary command in scripture that tells us what we should be doing with our Christian life. If you have no desire for others to know Jesus, or to grow to maturity in Christ, then you may not have your heart right with the Lord.

Love others as Jesus loved us. This is a little different than what I just mentioned. Jesus raised the bar when he said, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another” (John 13:34). How did Jesus love us? He sacrificed himself for us on the cross. What greater love is there than this?

Now, to be honest, this is probably the hardest way to love someone. And we don’t usually come upon it early in our Christian experience. But we should at least be growing in this direction. So, check yourself. Are you willing to become this kind of person? Consider the example of Jesus who forgave those who crucified him. Think about this for a moment. This is the first thing Jesus said from the cross, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). Jesus decided to forgive them while they were in the process of murdering him at that very moment. What a difficult thing to do. Just like forgiving my employee, but the Holy Spirit can empower us to do that very thing.

But a word of caution: When we examine the life of others, we should be careful that we do not do what the apostle Paul warned against. That is, “Do not pronounce judgment before the time” I Corinthians 4:5 says, “Do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart.”

There are some of whom it is obvious that they are not Christians, or they are open about their rebellion from Christ. These are the obvious who are not saved. But there are others who say they are Christians, but we have trouble seeing the fruit of that confession. We must be careful that we don’t accidentally judge them wrongly.

(v.4) “He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.”

The one who is in us is the Holy Spirit. The one who is in the world is the Evil One, the spirit of the antichrist as John mentioned in 4:3. The world cannot overcome you because the world system, which is run by the enemy, will some day pass away, but you, sealed with the Spirit, will live forever.

INTERPRETATION

What is John’s Big Idea? I think we can take away two major lessons that John wants us to remember.

1. You can know, beyond a doubt, that you, or someone else, is a Christian.

2. You can know, beyond a doubt, that you, or someone else, is not a Christian.

Notice John’s progression in the text. He discusses the condition of our hearts, even using the word, “confidence,” about our relationship to God (v.3:21). Then he moves to what pleases the Lord, obeying his commands, then he gives a second assurance about abiding in Christ. How do we abide? By doing what he just commanded.

Then he moves to testing the spirits, which includes testing ourselves.

If you are in agreement with these things that test us, then you can know you are a Christian and do not need to entertain any doubt. But if you find that these principles are not growing in you, then you may have reason to doubt, or perhaps you are in a phase where you may be ignoring what God is doing in your life. Either way, the scripture gives us encouragement that we can get on the right track. In 4:5-6 John says:

“They are from the world; therefore, they speak from the world, and the world listens to them. We are from God. Whoever knows God listens to us; whoever is not from God does not listen to us. By this we know the Spirit of truth and the spirit of error.”

So too, we can know by these guidelines, these tests, if we are truly in Christ or not.

APPLICATION

Now, the tests presented in our passage are actually meant to apply to others. However, we must first always examine ourselves before others. So, I will apply these to us. But they can also be applied to others. Our application is rather simple. Test yourselves to see if you are in the kingdom. Go through each of these principles and answer honestly to yourself, does my life reflect this truth? If not, what must I do to make it true in my life?

1. Verse 20 gives a first test. Does my heart condemn me or not condemn me?

2. Verse 2, do I do what pleases God?

3. Verse 24, do I keep his commandments?

4. 4:2-3, Do I confess that Jesus Christ has come in human form?

5. Test myself by the scriptures. Acts 17:11 Do I define my beliefs by scripture?

6. Do I take away or add to scripture? I.E., do I prefer culture over commands?

7. Do I have the conviction of the Holy Spirit about who Jesus is?

8. Do I talk about the Lord?

9. Do I surround myself with things of the Lord?

10. Do I love the scripture?

11. Do I bring my thoughts under the control of the Holy Spirit?

12. Do I want others to love the Lord?

13. Do I love others as Jesus loved us?

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Bible Studies

Hearing God’s Voice

by Tony Evans
written by Tony Evans

Introduction

Believers should seek to get spiritual clarity through prayer as they listen for God to speak to them. Because of spiritual warfare, we should prioritize our need to hear God’s voice. In doing this, we can receive spiritual guidance and clarity regarding His direction for our lives. It can be easy for an individual to be stuck or static because of the difficulty we often face as we fight spiritual battles and face the opposition of the enemy. God wants to guide us through His Word and the leading of the Holy Spirit.

We are spiritual creatures; however, we operate in the natural realm. We have limited information without the impact of God’s view and His thoughts about the earthly decisions we must make. We have to stay in communication with God because it’s possible His specific instructions to us may change from situation to situation. His Word doesn’t change, but the application of His Word in our lives in various seasons very well could change. Ongoing communication with God over time, and throughout different seasons, is important. How God worked in our lives yesterday may not be the same as how He wants to work in our lives today.

In order to hear God’s voice, there is a requirement: we have to have open lines of communication. Prayer is the point of contact between the physical and the spiritual, and it helps us to seek fulfillment of our requests within the will of God. Our diligence in prayer results in the opportunity to receive anointed and divinely inspired illumination. Our goal in prayer is to align our desires to God’s will. In giving God our attention, He can speak to our minds and hearts, giving us direction for our unique circumstances. When we position ourselves through prayer to hear God’s voice, He gives us spiritual direction in our thinking, spiritual power in our obedience, and spiritual victory in our battles.

Getting Started

1. Many people talk about hearing from God, but mean different things in terms of how they hear from God. Whether you think you hear from God or not, what do you think it looks like to hear from God? How do you think someone knows when they have heard from God?

2. Even among believers, people who want to hear from God say they struggle to do so. Why do you this is?

Let’s Get Personal

1. Have you experienced receiving God’s guidance as you’ve prayed? Share that experience with your group.

2. Is prayer a priority in your life? What does prioritized prayer look like in practical terms as you incorporate it in your life?

3. Many people feel stuck in their lives because of the battle that they are facing or the crisis in front of them is bigger than what they feel they can handle. Have you ever felt this way? If prayer is an option, have you used this tool for fighting spiritual battles? Why or why not?

Take the Next Step

1. Ongoing communication with God requires intentionality. We lead busy lives with interruption and distraction. What distraction can you move to hear God’s voice more clearly?

2. How will your prayer life change in light of this message? How did the message convict you and how will you incorporate a new priority of prayer in your life?

3. Want to go deeper? Take a look at the following passages: 2 Kings 6:14-17; Psalm 34:4-7; John 14:26; 16:13; Acts 13:22; 1 Corinthians 2:9-16; 1 John 2:20

Renew Your Mind

“I sought the Lord, and He answered me, and delivered me from all my fears.”

Psalm 34:4

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Sermons

Choosing the Path of Wisdom: Proverbs 1

by John Beeson
written by John Beeson

King Solomon advises to pursue wisdom with your heart and your head. Wisdom is so much more than knowledge or cleverness. Wisdom is spiritual discernment that comes from God. Wisdom is so much more than knowledge or cleverness. Wisdom is spiritual discernment that comes from God.

Preached at New Life Bible Fellowship. Used by permission.

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Articles

Church: Are You a Contributor or a Consumer?

by John Beeson
written by John Beeson

What do you look for when you look for a church that is a good fit for you? Maybe it’s the music? Maybe it’s the preaching? Maybe it’s the children’s ministry?

5 STARS!

A quick scan through Google reviews of churches will give you a sense of how most people judge churches.

Here is a sampling of real reviews from churches around our city:

·       I have two small boys ages 3 and 6 who can’t get ready fast enough to go to church on Sundays because of the attention they place on kids. From the pastor to the coffee shop, everything rates 5 stars!!!

·       The breakfast servers only greeted people they knew. It made me feel awkward at first. 1 star.

·       The full ultimate experience: great for the family, great for the kids. 5 stars.

·       Can never get to talk to the pastor. Think it has gotten too big for the 1 on 1 time we used to get at the end or beginning of the service with the pastor. It is almost like trying to visit an actor. 2 stars.

·       Child care exceptional. 5 stars.

·       It was too commercial. It didn’t feel like a church. 2 stars.

·       On Easter after waiting in line for over 2 hours with my 3 & 4 year old to do the Easter egg hunt they couldn’t participate. I’m waiting for a sincere apology from you guys and/or an opportunity to correct your mistake or I will be going to every news station in the state explaining how a disabled veteran and his 2 toddlers stood in line for over 2 hours just to be turned away. IF JESUS WAS ABLE TO GIVE FISH AND BREAD TO ALL THE MASSES, YOU SHOULD OF BEEN ABLE TO MAKE SURE ALL KIDS HAD EASTER EGGS. 1 star.

·       They may have the best stage set up I’ve ever seen in my life. I absolutely love the light show and the humongous TV screens! If you’re looking for a church with great music and message this is the place to go! 5 stars.

·       Everyone is friendly, the services are amazing, the band is outstanding, and the kids programs are unbelievable and the kids learn so much. 5 stars.

·       Best women’s community. 5 stars.

·       I didn’t get a very welcoming vibe. Neither did my husband. It just was not for us. 2 stars.

·       Very nice gymnasium. 5 stars.

·       I don’t feel that you can grow here at all hubby and I came because its close and we can walk or take the bus but it’s not for us. Very boring service, can’t get to know people, and if you need help they judge you and ask way too many questions. 1 star.

WELL TRAINED CONSUMERS

Whether positive or negative, these reviews demonstrate how well we have been trained as consumers of churches. We are connoisseurs of religion. Like a wine critic who judges the balance, depth, complexity, and finish of a vintage, we swirl our experience of a church in our glass and judge its balance of ministries, the depth of its teaching, the complexity of its offerings, and how it makes us feel at its finish.

We are consumers. Very well-trained consumers.

Jesus grieves the way we consume the church. He invites us to a better way, he invites us to be contributors, not consumers of the family of God.

When Paul writes to the church at Corinth, he corrects their misunderstanding that the spiritual gifts God has given them are for themselves. “To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good,” Paul says (1 Corinthians 12:7). In other words, God has given you gifting to bless the church. A couple paragraphs later, Paul says, “Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it.” Your identity is entwined in your relationships with other Christians in the context of the local church.

There is a word of correction here for pastors and for Christians.

A WORD OF CORRECTION TO PASTORS

First a word of correction to church leaders: the church is not a platform for our gifts. The church is not our audience. They are not there merely to be taught and pumped up. All of the vision and direction from a church shouldn’t come from us. I’m not Moses, and you’re not Elijah. We are fellow members in the body of Christ.

And we are not the sole purveyors of ministry in the local church. We are tasked “to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ” (Ephesians 4:12). Let me ask you, are saints in your church doing “the work of the ministry?” Are saints in your church “building up the body of Christ”? Or have you reserved those tasks for yourself?

We as leaders are called to train up others. We are called to deploy the body in their gifting.

A WORD OF CORRECTION FOR CHRISTIANS

Christians, God saved you not just to be in relationship with him, but in relationship with his family. And he has given you spiritual gifts not for your own edification, but for the edification of others. If you are not serving in a church community, you are not walking in the fullness of who God created you to be.

One reviewer of a Tucson church, upset with their experience, said, “This is why I worship God at my home.” That isn’t an option for a follower of Jesus. It’s the equivalent of being adopted by a father, but refusing to move into his home and have a relationship with his kids. That’s not how adoption works.

Our first evaluation of a church shouldn’t be what the church offers us, whether that is the preaching, the worship, or the various ministries. Our first evaluation ought to be framed with a question: where is God calling me to serve these people? How can I use my gifts to honor Christ and build up my brothers and sisters?

You were made for more. You were designed by your Savior to be a contributor, not a consumer.

New Life’s Culture Statements:

1.       God is big and God is good

2.       The gospel changes everything

3.       The Bible is our source

4.       God loves you and your neighbor

5.       We are contributors, not consumers

6.       Character outlasts charisma

7.       Life is better together

8.       Big church, small feel

9.       Healthy churches multiply

www.thebeehive.live. Used by permission.

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3 Keys to What We Are Processing Right Now

by Lysa TerKeurst
written by Lysa TerKeurst

So much of what’s on the news today truly feels like something we’d only see in a Hollywood movie — not real life.

COVID-19 has not only spread across the world at record levels, but it’s also spread across our daily realities and changed so much for so many. Because of the life-threatening potential of the virus, social distancing and canceled gatherings are necessary precautions. We want to do what’s right, so we’re listening to officials and paying extra attention to updates and news conferences.

While all of this is necessary, it’s also jarring.

It’s like life just slammed on the brakes, and we’re all still reeling from the whiplash.

Certainly, in the grand scheme of things, saving lives is most important. But there are emotions we need to be able to process in the midst of all these sudden changes. One of those is the very real feeling of disappointment. And right behind it is the worry that expressing our disappointment could make us look petty in the midst of the seriousness of this virus.

Please know processing our disappointments is not only OK … it’s emotionally and spiritually necessary. You’re not making light of someone else’s serious pain when you process your pain to gain a better perspective.

So, first, whatever you’re going through today, it’s worth taking to the Lord and asking for His help. And second, let’s give each other grace since we are all trying to navigate unexpected fears, hardships and disappointments. Social distancing doesn’t mean we distance ourselves from offering each other grace.

With that as the anthem playing in the background … let’s process what we are facing.

Within the last few weeks, I had to help a friend navigate canceling her wedding. That same day, my husband had to close the dining room of his restaurant. Other friends are trying to figure out how to make enough money to live since they’ve been told their workplace had to close. Those of us who don’t get paid when we can’t go to work are looking at scary financial realities. Schools are closed. Graduations and family gatherings are canceled. Businesses large and small are experiencing financial realities that some fear they won’t be able to overcome. Everything we thought we would be doing in this season looks vastly different than we expected, and the feelings of loss are real.

So, what do we do with those? As Christians, how do we set our minds and hearts on things above when we are staring at startling realities?

Here are some things I wrote in my journal that are helping me:

1. Frame the disappointment by remembering what you do have, so you don’t get consumed by what’s been taken.

Many of you are having to cancel or postpone important life events right now and that’s very hard. It’s incredibly emotional when you’ve dreamed and planned and invested in what you thought would be a very normal expectation.

But remember, fun has not been canceled.

Love has not been canceled.

Being good to other people has not been canceled.

Learning and growing and maturing has not been canceled.

Use this time to reframe what matters most and choose to celebrate in creative ways.

I remember telling my daughters before their weddings: Expect the unexpected and realize you can’t control the uncontrollable. But you don’t have to spin out of control with the unexpected. You bring to your wedding day what you want for your marriage. You bring the love. You bring the beauty. You bring the fun. You bring the atmosphere of joy and peace. You bring lovely to your day, and it will be amazing.

But if you bring fear and dread and epic loads of disappointment because things look different than you thought they would, you’ll fill your day with that. Your heart is much too beautiful a place for the enemy’s tactics to taint it. So don’t let him.

This may be a delay. This may be a distraction. This may even be a devastation for a season. But this is not your final destination. Remember though COVID-19 has canceled many events, it has not canceled God’s goodness. Rest in that, rejoice in that, and be so very reassured.

2. Remember who God is, and use that to bring some gratitude into your disappointment.

God is a protector: He is protecting you from something you can’t see.

God is a provider: He is providing something if only you’ll look for it. Just because His provision is different doesn’t mean it’s not good.

God is present: Even when others are absent. God does incredible things in the unseen.

God is faithful: No matter what is being taken from you right now, place it in the hands of God. Give it to Him as your sacrifice. For whatever we willingly place in the hands of God, He will redeem. Martin Luther once said, “I have held many things in my hands and I have lost them all. But whatever I have placed in God’s hands, that I still possess.”

3. Disappointments often go hand in hand with fear of the future.

It can be so easy to let today’s disappointments make you expect the absolute worst for tomorrow. I’m challenging myself not to mentally run too far into an unknown future. I just have to make the most responsible decisions I can for today and place the rest in God’s hands. My job is to obey God. God’s job is everything else. Therefore, I can feel afraid, but I don’t have to live afraid.

Now is the time to feed your faith and fuel your healthy perspectives. Make the choice today what will rule in your hearts and proclaim out loud: “Disillusioning disappointments and blinding fear, you don’t get to be the boss of me … I am ruled by the peace of Christ, and I will use His Truth to frame all I see.”

“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts” (Colossians 3:15-16).

We know everything in life seems uncertain right now. In the midst of it all, we at Proverbs 31 Ministries want to offer you some free, practical ways to stay committed to studying God’s Word. Here are several resources we’ve put together to bring hope in uncertainty during these times.

* Download the introduction and first three chapters of my book, It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength when Disappointments Leave You Shattered, for FREE today.

* From Worry to Worship – a free 7-day devotional to help you find peace when you are tempted to panic, fight fear when it wages war on your heart, and practice trusting God in the midst of uncertain circumstances.

* Connecting God’s Heart to Yours: 31 Personalized Scriptures For Each Day free printable download!

www.lysaterkeurst.com. Used by permission.

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A Report Card from Our Kids

by John Beeson
written by John Beeson

Pastor John Beeson and his wife Angel are amazing parents. But, like most parents, they wanted to know what their teenage kids thought about their parenting skills. This is what they said:

“We have two wonderful teenage kids. Camille is 16 and Soren is 14. It’s hard to believe that adulthood is just a few years off for both of them. With their elementary years not too far in the rearview mirror and adulthood not too far ahead of them, we asked our kids if they would share what they thought we have done best and where we could improve.

What follows is a Beeson living room chat. I hope by listening in you can benefit from both our highlight and blooper reels.

Their list at times converges with our perspective of our strengths and weakness and at times diverges. I didn’t ask for a certain number of positives and negatives and didn’t edit their list, but I did add comments after each item.

What our kids said we did best (their words are in bold):

1.       Trusting us and giving us freedom (you’re not helicopter parents).

I’m so glad to see this on their list. We’ve given far less freedom than some parents, but we have been intentional in these past few years to release our kids in order to prepare them for adulthood. If they merely perform a certain way at home but immediately stop behaving that way once they leave for college, then our parenting was in vain.

2.       Supporting us in our passions.

We’ve tried to cultivate the giftings God has given Camille and Soren and help them understand God’s call on them to steward their strengths.

3.       Preparing us for the future.

We’ve tried to help our kids develop skills such as hard work, responsibility, and organization that will serve them their entire lives. We’ve also coached them to discern which of their giftings are more likely to be of their vocational calling and which are more likely to be avocational interests that they can enjoy as lifelong hobbies.

4.       Letting us learn from our mistakes.

I’m glad Camille and Soren think that we’ve allowed them to learn from their mistakes. Although honestly, I think we can pull back even more to let them learn from their mistakes. As a parent it’s difficult to allow your kids to experience the consequences of their decisions. A parent’s natural impulse is to protect their kids from poor choices. But Camille and Soren are right that learning from their mistakes is the best way to learn. Our hope is that we continue to grow in making space for our children to learn from their mistakes.

5.       Giving us freedom to not be perfect.

This is so important that our children know this. And it leads their final comment…

6.       Being transparent (teaching us to not keep secrets).

This starts with us modeling repentance. From when our kids were young, we’ve worked hard to acknowledge our wrongs in front of them. We ask for forgiveness when we sin against our kids. In a way that suits their maturity, we’ve shared our fears and our difficulties. And we’ve done everything we can to make it safe for the kids to share their secrets.

What our kids said we could do better:

1.       (Soren) Letting me feel like my opinions matter and have an impact.

Soren is right. I need to create space for him to voice his opinion, even when I disagree. I know that for Soren to really grow in wisdom, that wisdom has to be earned and owned personally. As a parent of young children, it is appropriate to ask for obedience with limited explanation. As our children mature, we need to provide stronger explanations for what we are asking of them, and even provide space for them to disagree with us.

2.       (Camille) Not forcing “moments.”

Camille’s further explanation: When you are a teenager you do not, (at least I do not) want to fit into a certain stereotype. I am super grateful for the sweet memories and moments my family has had, and I am super blessed to have such an amazing family. But the older I get the more grateful my parents are for those sweet moments. And often they will continually voice their gratitude about those sweet moments. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this! Except sometimes(as a teenager), it makes those moments seemed forced, and now I feel pressured to be in, or create those perfect moments. That “perfect family” stereotype is so often fake and forced, and although I know our family is natural and real, when the gratitude is constant it makes it feel like those moments were forced. I am not sure if that made any sense, and I do not exactly know what you could do as parents to avoid that, but that is the only time I feel uncomfortable with something in our family.

This feedback is a surprise! It’s helpful to be able to crawl into Camille’s mind and hear how she processes these moments. I understand her fear of any feeling of being forced to have a certain moment or be a certain type of family. As parents, we’ve tried to emphasize gratitude and making sure that we live in the special moments God gives us, but I hear what Camille is saying here, that we have to be careful that we don’t force those moments.

I hope listening in on this family conversation helps you as you consider what you’ve done best and worst as a parent. Maybe this is a conversation you would benefit from having with your children, whatever their age.

May we all grow as moms and dads, learning to reflect our Heavenly Father’s perfect parenting of us more and more.”

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Solomon and Spiritual Discernment

by Neil Anderson
written by Neil Anderson

In a world saturated with deceiving spirits, false prophets, and false teachers, the need to exercise discernment cannot be overstated. As believers, we think with our minds, but we discern with our spirits. Mentally we can know whether something is right or wrong in the natural realm by observation and inquiry. Theologically we can agree or disagree with a verbal or written statements based on our education, experience, and understanding of God’s word. However, the spiritual world is not always discernible by our natural senses. To chart our way in the spiritual world requires the presence of God.

When the Holy Spirit takes up residence in our lives, he bears witness with our spirit and enables us to know right from wrong in the spiritual realm. This God-given ability to discern is like a sixth sense that enables us to know that something is right or wrong even though we may not know intellectually what is right or what is wrong.

The interaction between God and Solomon is helpful in understanding spiritual discernment (1 Kings 3:5-15). David had died, and Solomon had taken his place as king of Israel. Solomon loved the Lord, but by his own admission, he was too young and inexperienced to be the king (vs. 7). The Lord appeared to Solomon in a dream at night, and God said, “Ask for whatever you want Me to give you” (vs. 5). Solomon asked and the Lord gave him a discerning heart to govern His “people and to distinguish between right and wrong” (vs. 9).

 

This passage reveals two key concepts about discernment. First, God gave Solomon the ability to discern because his motives were pure. Solomon wasn’t asking for a wise and discerning heart for his own personal profit, not even to gain an advantage over his enemies. He wanted discernment in order to administer justice and know good from evil. Motive is crucial since the power to discern can be misused in the Church. It is a powerful advantage to know something no one else knows.

 

Second, spiritual discernment is always on the plane of good and evil. The Holy Spirit gives us a check in our spirit when something is wrong. It is our first line of defense when our natural senses aren’t able to register any danger or direction. However, the ability to discern spiritually does not negate the necessity of knowing God’s Word.

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Consider This Before Making a Decision

by Lysa TerKeurst
written by Lysa TerKeurst

Do you need to make a decision about something that seems so exciting, but you can’t seem to shake the hesitation in your heart?

We have a family friend named Wes who’s been fascinated with pilots and planes since he was a little boy. So he was absolutely thrilled when his dreams of becoming a flight-school instructor became a reality.

But a few years ago, it all became a bit more complicated. The owner of the flight school decided to offer Wes the opportunity to buy him out. It was an amazing opportunity. But a scary one. One that created a bit of hesitation for Wes.

Our family spent lots of time processing this decision with Wes. We helped him with assessing the costs of this endeavor: the cost to him personally, the cost to his young wife, and the cost of everyday pressures people who own their own businesses feel.

As we were talking with him one day, I shared a picture I keep in my mind when making decisions.

Imagine this opportunity as an amazingly attractive but fast-moving river. There’s so much that looks extremely appealing about this river that you’re going to be tempted to jump right in. But once in the river, you have diminished your ability to make decisions.

That river is moving so fast that it will take you where it is going. And if you haven’t carefully determined in advance whether you want to go all the places where the river flows, you’ll be in trouble.

“He who has compassion on them will guide them and lead them beside springs of water.” Isaiah 49:10b (NIV)

College students declaring their majors should trace the places that career will take them. If you think you want to major in chemistry but hate working in a lab or hospital, trace that river’s path before jumping in.

Moms thinking about a new business opportunity should trace out all the expenses of getting started, including upfront costs, childcare and inventory. If a mom’s desire is to stay at home with the kids, but this business will require her to be gone every night of the week, trace that river’s path before jumping in.

Before jumping into the river, you have the ability to walk up and down the banks of the river with ease.

You have the ability to stick your toes in and consider what this water will be like.

You can talk to other wise people who know things about this river. And sit quietly listening for God’s voice, reading His Word, looking for confirmation on what to do next.

But once you jump in, the current has a way of demanding your full attention. It’s not that you can’t make adjustments once you’re in the river; it’s just a lot harder to go a different direction once you’re in it.

Several verses describing God’s leading, directing and guiding beside the water have been great comfort to me:

• “He who has compassion on them will guide them and lead them beside springs of water” (Isaiah 49:10b).

• “The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake” (Psalm 23:1-3, NKJV).

• “With weeping they shall come, and with pleas for mercy I will lead them back, I will make them walk by brooks of water, in a straight path in which they shall not stumble, for I am a father to Israel” (Jeremiah 31:9a, ESV).

These are comforting to me … because stepping out in faith is talked about a lot in the Christian world — and I believe in that wholeheartedly.

I believe God clearly instructs some to jump right in.

But that doesn’t mean God calls everyone to jump right in. Sometimes the greater act of faith is to let God lead us, talk to us and instruct us beside the water.

With our friend Wes, after he traced the path and assessed where his choices would lead, he decided not to buy the flight school. It’s a choice he’s so glad he made then, now that he’s a full-time pilot and father.

Let’s slow down today, sweet friend. Because while God absolutely does have invitations where He wants us to say yes, we need to be sure the invitation in front of us is ours before we jump all of the way in.

Dear Lord, I want to really think about this river before jumping in. Reveal anything I might not be seeing right now. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

TRUTH FOR TODAY

Proverbs 14:12, “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.” (ESV)

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Why is it Difficult to Follow a Pessimist (or a Realist) Leader?

by Carey Nieuwhof
written by Carey Nieuwhof

So…if you had to describe yourself, would you say you’re an optimist, a pessimist, or as pessimists like to say in social settings to be polite, a realist?

For the record…my current theory is that realists are pessimists who don’t want to call themselves pessimists.

Most leaders (not all, but most) are optimists when they start out. I was. I’m an idealist.

But as you may have discovered, your optimism gets tested—really tested—in leadership.

Leadership not only throws you curve balls, it throws you hardballs. As in a 103 mile an hour fastball aimed right at you.

Which is why so many leaders find themselves in a place where they hardly recognize themselves anymore.

The budding idealist feels his heart go flat.

The eternal optimist finds herself rolling her eyes the next time someone says “Hey, I have a great idea.”

And the guys who used to roll out of bed in the morning excited about the future now thinks about the grind and winces at the thought of yet another meeting where nothing will get accomplished.

Recognize that person?

For so many reasons, I found my pessimism growing exponentially in my first decade of leadership.

Then, after a tough battle with burnout, came out on the other side to reclaim my optimism, which is, fortunately, absolutely possible. (I outline the journey and the principles on how to do it here.)

Here’s what I’ve learned. Pessimism and cynicism go hand in hand. Scratch the surface of a pessimist, and you’ll almost always find a cynic.

Sure, it’s hard not to grow cynical in the world we live in. In fact, a lot of people think cynicism is inevitable in life and leadership. That once a cynic, always a cynic.

But here’s the truth. Life doesn’t make you cynical. Leadership doesn’t make you cynical. You make you cynical.

Cynicism and pessimism aren’t inevitable and they are reversible.

If you’re interested in some help with that, I just released a free 5-day devotional plan on YouVersion that can help you wrestle down cynicism. (The surprise for many people is that their cynicism is also a spiritual issue.)

And if you want deeper motivation to change, how about this, leaders? It’s harder to follow a cynic than it is to follow an optimist in leadership.

Cynics think they’re better leaders because they have it all figured out.

But what they miss is that it’s actually really hard to follow a cynic for at least three reasons.

Here they are (and there’s some big help at the end of this post too…so keep reading.)

1. A NEGATIVE VIEW OF THE FUTURE INSPIRES NO ONE

Has a pessimist ever inspired you?

Didn’t think so.

What unites cynics, pessimists and realists? A negative view of the future.

The financial forecast is bleak.

The trends are negative.

People have tried this before, and it hasn’t worked. And while it may be a great idea, pessimists can tell you 100 reasons you’re probably going to fail.

Guess what?

A negative view of the future inspires no one.

Cynics never change the world. They just tell you why the world won’t change.

Even in the throes of one of the darkest moments of the 20th century as Hitler swept over Europe, Winston Churchill saw how bleak the future looked and–against all odds —cast a vision for hope and freedom.

People thought Churchill was naive and stupid. Fortunately for millions, his stubborn vision for a better world won the day.

There’s a fine line between discernment and negativism.

The discerning see the obstacles, plan for them, and then forge ahead with hope. And they inspire dozens, thousands or millions to follow.

There’s enough darkness in the world. What the world needs are brokers of hope.

2. PESSIMISM HAS NO VISION FOR THE FUTURE

One of the challenges of having a consistently pessimistic view of life is that you end up with no vision for the future.

Pessimists know what’s wrong. They just can’t figure out what’s right. Similarly, pessimists don’t know what they’re for. They only know what they’re against.

How can you build a vision for the future around that?

Exactly, you can’t.

When cynicism and pessimism infect the senior leadership of any organization, vision becomes a serious challenge.

Instead of focusing on what they can accomplish, pessimistic leaders focus on what they can’t accomplish. As a result, nothing gets accomplished.

This is why, when a negative mindset takes over the senior leadership of any organization, you see a shift from leadership to management.

Instead of leading into a better future you create, you manage the current reality you have.

Sure, leadership without management produces chaos.

But management without leadership produces a constantly shrinking organization.

If you have no vision for the future, you end up with no future.

3. ENCOURAGEMENT WILL DIE…FAST

I recently heard Frank Blake, former CEO of the Home Depot, drop this line in an interview he was giving:

We’re all pretty disappointed in ourselves.

Then he dropped the mic. No, he didn’t, but okay, he could have.

You know what most of us need every day?

Encouragement. Massive encouragement.

I have never met a single person I encouraged who said Carey, can you please stop? I’ve had my lifetime dose of encouragement. I’ve had enough.

Anyone who has sat down with a board of bean counters or cynics knows how frustrating it can be to share ideas knowing that they’ll be shut down or spun in the most negative light.

I agree with Jim Collins, reality is your friend. So is sober thought.

But fundamentally leaders are dealers in hope. You have to find the gold in people (thank you Brian Houston). Your job is to find the one thing that might work in a sea of things that won’t work.

Encouragement is the fuel people run on.

If you want to motivate your team, encourage them, deeply, honestly and constantly call out the best of them.

If you want to discourage your team, point out why everything they’re doing won’t work.

If pessimism infects your culture, encouragement is one of the first casualties. And when encouragement dies, so does hope.

MOTIVATED? 3 THINGS THAT WILL HELP YOU RECLAIM YOUR OPTIMISM

If you need some encouragement and some concrete help to overcome cynicism, pessimism and negativism, here are three things that can help.

A SHORT CYNICISM QUIZ

How badly infected has your mindset become? It’s a good question, and it can be hard to tell.

I developed a short, free cynicism quiz that might help you assess where you’re at.

You can take it for free here

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Ask Roger

Cutting Words: How Do I Handle Criticism?

by Roger Barrier
written by Roger Barrier

Dear Roger,

A friend of mine criticized me for some life decisions I’ve made. I believe it is none of his business. However, he is a really good friend, so I am not sure what to do with his words of rebuke. Should I blow him off and not worry about it? Should I feel guilty? Should I defend myself? How should I respond?

Sincerely, H T.

Dear H T,

When I left Texas for Arizona to pastor Casas Church my mentor warned me that there will be three pastors in the church. The one who is the pastor (me); the one who wants to be pastor and the one who thinks he is the pastor.

 

Once upon a time I was leading a church elder meeting when the man who wanted to be pastor got up and walked around the table until he stood directly behind me. I could swear that I felt his breath on my neck as he began a soliloquy on why I was leading the church down a path of destruction. He proceeded to enumerate all the decisions that I had made over the years that he thought were wrong or destructive.

No one was surprised at his accusations. He’d made very clear over the previous months to any who would listen that I was not fit to be pastor. The implication was clear: He wanted me gone and consciously or unconsciously he wanted to be the pastor.

My cheeks reddened. I dared not look up. How do I handle this? Fortunately, I knew the applicable Bible verse:

 

“A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense” (Proverb 19:11).

 

So, I sat quietly and “took it”. I sat with my head down repeating this verse about receiving glory for overlooking his tirade. I was not certain just what the “glory” was but I was glad it was available. This was not the time or place to settle out his issues. I moved on to the next item on the agenda.

 

That was the last time he ever attended an elder meeting. That night he waited outside for me. As he told me all the ways that I was destroying the church he was punching my chest with his index finger. I decided that his political maneuverings would soon fail so I let him poke as he spoke. He was gone within the month.

Early in our marriage I knew that Julie kept a journal but I never dared to look inside. Her journal was her private domain. One morning I saw it laying open on the bed. “Just a quick look can’t hurt,” I said to myself. So I peeked. Her journal was opened to her prayer list for the day and there was I at the top of the list. She was praying for me to handle criticism well.

She had listed seven criteria. I have used them often. Over the years I have codified the list and added tips from several sources. I hope you find these Proverbial tips to be helpful as you navigate the waves of criticism.

 

Most of the criticism that comes our way falls far short of the attack I suffered at the hands of the man who would be pastor. Let’s focus on the more “low level” criticisms that we most often face.

 

Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or even at times a stranger. No one enjoys it; but Proverbs teaches that good criticism is good for us. Proverb 12:1 declares: “Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid.”

Offering and receiving criticism is an art. The tips listed below all come from the Book of Proverbs.

 

?Have The Right Attitude.

No one is perfect, so welcome rebuke, even if it stings (Proverb 25:12).

Let your wisdom show. Respond with humility, gratitude and apologies, if warranted (Proverb 12:1).

 

?Have The Right Response.

Stop and look at the person. Criticism is serious business (Proverb 10:17).

Listen to what they have to say. Don’t answer too quickly (Proverb 18:13).

Resist the temptation to defend. Don’t accuse or use labels (Proverb 23:9).

Don’t act like a fool by changing the subject or joking (Proverb 10:8).

Continue restating in your own words what you think the critic said until you both agree to what the critic actually said and means to ensure that you both are talking about the same thing (Proverb 16:21).

 

?Evaluate Carefully.

If the criticism is true, make appropriate changes. If not, ignore it (Proverbs 13:18).

People have different priorities and expectations; so evaluate criticism in light of your purposes and calling in life (Proverb 1:1-6).

Consider The Source. Some People Can’t Be Satisfied; Some Criticisms Aren’t Worth Engaging; Some People Aren’t Worth Listening To.

 

?You Don’t Have To Suffer Abusive Criticism.

 

I was greeting departing parishioners in the church foyer when the leader of a group who said they had figured out the time and the hour of His return, told me it was God’s will for me to announce the warning so others may be ready. I refused. He came after me. It was only when my five-year-old daughter burst out in tears that I put her in my arms and walked away. He continued to shout.

I don’t stand there any more and think that I have a divine responsibility to stand there and endure that sort of verbal attack. I tell the abuser, “When you can talk to me like a normal adult instead of like a three-year-old let me know. Then we can finish this conversation. Let me know when you are ready. Until the, I am leaving. And I do.

By the way, this procedure works well on phone calls, too.

?Sometimes We Need To Do The Criticizing.

Words are powerful things. Be careful what you say and how you say it.

Share the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15).

Timing is sometimes more important than truth.

You may not know as much about what is going on as you think you do.

 

“Great is the man who can accept criticism. Greater yet is he who welcomes it. But greatest of all is he who knows how to administer it in a spirit of love and sensitivity without causing pain or chagrin.” (Rabbi Norman Lamm)

Hope this helps.

Love, Roger

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Ask Roger

How To Know If God’s the One Who’s Speaking

by Roger Barrier
written by Roger Barrier

Dear Roger,

How do I know if God is speaking to me?

Sincerely,

Tom

During the worship service, a woman whispered quietly to Julie: “I have a word from the Lord for you. You will be like the prophetess, Anna, in Luke 2. You will be widowed after seven years and spend the rest of your life ministering in sweet service to Jesus.”

“Don’t you see me standing here?” I wanted to ask. “Julie’s my fiancé. We’re getting married in June.”

I held my tongue and looked at the young girl who would soon be my wife. If this nosy woman were right, I’d be dead in seven years. On our seventh anniversary, I stayed awake until midnight just to be sure that the voice she had been listening to was not God’s.

God’s Voice Vs. the Voices of Others

God’s voice is not the only voice that speaks. Self and Satan can both wreak havoc in the lives of Christians who are unable to distinguish among the three.

Have you ever wondered why there are so few prophets in the Bible?

God asked Hosea 1, “Do you want to hear me speak?”
“I’d love to be your prophet.”
“Then, go marry a prostitute.”

God asked Jeremiah, “Do you want to hear me speak?”
“God, I’m too young to be a prophet; but, I’d love to hear you speak.”

So God spoke to Jeremiah 1. But the price of hearing God’s message was high. The people cursed him, mocked him, tossed him in jail, and bound him in chains. They threw him in cisterns and beat him senseless. They humiliated him in stocks in the marketplaces. Worst of all, the people never believed a single word he said.

One day God commanded Isaiah 1, “Take off your clothes.”
“Why?”
“Don’t ask me why. Just take them off.”
“Well, for how long?”
“Until I tell you to put them on again.”

So Isaiah stripped off his clothes. Imagine the scene as he walked naked down the streets of Jerusalem. “Hey, Isaiah,” mocked the people, “where are your clothes?”

“I took them off.”
“Why?”

Can you imagine the looks when he said, “Well, I heard this voice…”?

Finally, three years later, God spoke: “Isaiah, put on your clothes and declare this word from Me: ‘As I have bared your buttocks, so I will bare the buttocks of Egypt and let the Assyrians spank them.'” Can you imagine that for three years he walked around bare-bottomed and the message wasn’t even for Israel (Isaiah 20)?

Hearing God speak carries a high price tag. In Exodus 20:18-19 the Israelites refused Moses’ invitation to come to the mountain and hear God speak: “When the people saw the thunder and lightning and heard the trumpet and saw the mountain in smoke, they trembled with fear. They stayed at a distance and said to Moses, ‘Speak to us yourself and we will listen. But, do not have God speak to us or we will die.’”

When we hear the voice of God nothing is ever the same again. Hearing from God produces a dramatic long-term calling that may well alter our choices, lives, values, focuses, and behaviors.

This is a paradox. While hearing from God might cost us our lives, the voice of God opens the floodgates so that the Living Water of the Holy Spirit might flow from our innermost beings (John 7:37-39) and open the door to abundant life (John 10:10). Full love and intimacy with Jesus can occur only when we hear Him speak.

Ways We Can Hear God Speak

When is the last time you heard God speak? Some of us say, “Recently.” Others might say, “It’s been a long time.” Tragically, others say, “I am not certain that I have ever heard God speak.”

In a day when the secular world is crying for answers, too many Christians are stuttering.

I count at least nineteen different ways in the Bible that God speaks into the lives of His people. You may think of some more. If we have ears to hear, we can’t miss what He has to say.

The Bible (Psalms 119:105)
Jesus Christ (Hebrews 1:1-3)
Sign and Wonders (Acts 3:6-7)
Tests (Judges 6:36-38)
Godly People (Proverbs 8:32-34)

Children at Bedtime (1 Samuel 3:8-9)
The Creation (Romans 1:20)
Preachers and Prophets (Acts 11:27-28)
Donkeys (Numbers 22:30)
Bushes (Exodus 3:1-4)

Angels (Luke 1:26-28)
The Angel of the Lord (Genesis 22:10-11)
God’s Glory (Exodus 33:18-19)
Circumstances (Acts 16:6-8)
Reasons (Isaiah 1:18)

Dreams (Joel 2:28)
Visions (Joel 2:28)
Failures (Matthew 26:75)
Holy Spirit to Human Spirit (Jeremiah 29:12-13)

Discerning What God’s Voice Sounds Like

The voice on the phone was familiar. I’d spoken with her before. She announced that she had a message for me from God. Without pausing, she launched into a detailed pronouncement that my wife Julie and I would soon suffer a divorce. I had neglected my wife, she said, and failed to build the kind of marriage that God intended for pastors; and thus, the penalty would be the forfeiture of my marriage.

I knew enough not to laugh out loud or tell her what she could do with her message. Later, I considered the implications of her words. What if she were right? After all, the pages of Scripture are filled with stories of unusual people who did strange things as God led them to pronounce, “Thus saith the Lord, (fill in the blank)!”

After all, there was some truth in what she said. What pastor ever spends enough time with his family? Was God upset and getting personally involved? Surely not?

I called one of my spiritual advisors. “Jack,” I said, “I need your advice. I’m ninety-nine percent sure that her message was not from God. Just help me verify for certain.”

He responded, “Did the warning give any hope for reconciling the marriage and avoiding the divorce?”
“No.”

“When God warned of doom in the Bible, He usually provided a means for avoiding the consequences—often by repentance and/or restitution. Did the message provide any hope for averting the divorce?”
“No.”

“Then the message was not from God.”
“Thanks.”

Over the years, I’ve developed a biblical checklist of what I think God’s voice sounds like. The list is in broad generalizations and is certainly not complete, nor foolproof. No one point is sufficient to prove or disprove the voice of God. Nevertheless, I believe that these principles are helpful when they line up in a sensible, godly fashion.

God speaks in my innermost human spirit. Self or Satan speaks in my Soul (Hebrews 4:12).

God tends to speak with gentle leadings in contrast to what I often perceive to be the compulsive, clamoring, loud demands of Self or Satan (1 Kings 19:11-13).

God’s voice produces freedom. Self’s or Satan’s voice often produces bondage (Matthew 11:28-30).

God tends to speak when we are consciously seeking Him. Self or Satan tend to speak with sudden intrusions of thoughts into the mind (Jeremiah 29:12-13).

When God speaks there is a definite sense that everything is under control. When Self or Satan speaks there is an inner sense that something is out of control (Psalms 37:4).

God gives clear-cut, specific directions. Self or Satan often communicates in confused, uncertain wonderings.

God convicts of specific sins. Self and Satan often accuse in broad generalities that leave a lingering sense of haunting and unfocused guilt (John 16:8).

God speaks with 100 percent truth that can be tested by the Word of God. Self and Satan often traffic in lies, deceit, and half-truths (John 14:6).

God’s voice always leads to a deep, abiding sense of peace. Self or Satan often do not (Philippians 4:7).

God’s voice is testable and confirmed by the wisdom of many counselors (Proverbs 11:14; Deuteronomy 19:15; and Matthew 18:16).

Communicating Holy Spirit to Human Spirit

We were considering the relocation of our church operations. Full parking lots and six weekend worship services had maxed out our site. Standing in front of the bathroom mirror one Saturday I almost dropped my razor at the thought that flashed into my mind. Instead of going to all the trouble and expense of relocating, why not purchase the eight houses surrounding our property? We could build a new worship center and expand our parking lots to make room for new growth. I thanked God for revealing this new course of action.

I told our church leaders what God told me and led the church to make plans to purchase the adjoining houses. The surrounding subdivision deed restrictions required that a majority of the one-hundred fifty-six nearby homeowners agree with the required rezoning and sale. Six months, numerous unpleasant neighborhood association meetings, and well over one hundred irate neighbors later, we called off the deal.

I was still licking my wounds when a wise saint said to me privately, “You ignored the Tenth Commandment: ‘You shall not covet your neighbor’s house.’”

The most precious times I have with God are when we are communicating Holy spirit to human spirit. I often refer to my human spirit as my “knower.” Like, have you ever had those times when you just knew deep inside that God was talking to you? Most Christians tell me yes.

The preacher was preaching on Jesus searching for lost sheep. All of a sudden, deep in my “knower,” I heard the voice of God: “Roger, you’re a lost sheep.” I was only seven, but the voice seemed so real. I said to Mom and Dad that night after church, “I’m a lost sheep, aren’t I?” Over the next several days my parents explained about lost and found sheep. I gave my heart to Jesus as my Savior and Shepherd, and was lost no longer.

Two weeks later it was like the preacher stopped preaching and God was speaking to me. Deep in my “knower” He told me that one day I would be a preacher, too. And become one I did.

I am careful in listening for the voice of God. His is not the only voice that speaks. I don’t want to be misled by my own imaginings, and I certainly do not care to be fooled by Satan’s temptations, accusations, or deceits. Neither do I want to be led astray by human ignorance, stupidity, or misguided spirituality.

Following the guidelines of Hebrews 4:12, I quiet my mind and allow the Word of God to “divide between soul and spirit.” As I listen, I try to discern whether what I hear emanates from my soul (my mind), or from my deep, inner, human spirit where the Holy Spirit lives. The soul is the inner part of me which is my own mind or self. The soul is my organ for intellect, will, and emotions (Hebrews 4:12). My human spirit is the center of my worship and communication with Jesus.

As we mature spiritually, our increasing spiritual experience and discernment allow us to distinguish between soul and spirit. The ability to distinguish between them is critical because God indwells and speaks in our human spirit while Self and Satan have access only to our soul. When we discern that the internal voice is coming from our spirit we know that God is speaking. When we discern that the internal voice is coming from our soul, we know that Self, or possibly even Satan, is speaking.

When properly cultivated, our human spirit is most dependable and useful in hearing God speak. God speaks to us in the Bible and we speak to Him in prayer. This is described as praying in the mind. The Holy Spirit also speaks to us in our innermost human spirit. We speak back from out of our innermost human spirit to the Holy Spirit. This what Paul calls praying in the spirit.

Whenever I sense what may be a word from God, I refuse to accept it until I carefully consider whether I am hearing from God, Myself, Satan, or hard-of-hearing, misguided humans. When people say, “God told me…” I often respond, “How are you certain the words were from God?” If they can’t give a definitive answer then I seldom consider the message they are delivering. I don’t want to make a mistake and follow the wrong voice.

Well. Tom, I hope this helps!

Sincerely,

Roger

 

 

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Articles

Kicking the Can: Avoid Ignorance, Denial and Stupidity

by Craig Lounsbrough
written by Craig Lounsbrough

Face it, there are just some things that we don’t like to do.  We all have those irritating things that incessantly demand our attention.  Every one of us has a collection of loathsome demands that keep throwing themselves in front of us.  Our lives are chock full of repetitive tasks, missed agenda items, overdue obligations, lapsed deadlines, and overlooked commitments that constantly harass us.  We all have those irritating things that are irritating because we know that they need to be done, and we know that we should have gotten them done a long time ago, and we know that we’d feel a whole lot better if we had gotten them done.  But we don’t want to.  And so all of these various things have become something of a noxious stench emanating from the pages of our calendars.  And so we find ourselves attempting to pencil those things out and off of our calendars.  We all have things that we just don’t like to do, so we kick the can down the road.

 

Then there are the messes that we’ve made.  There’s the colossal blunders, the erroneous missteps, and the self-centered choices that have turned on us.  Then there’s the little messes that have grown into mammoth messes because we never took care of the little messes when we should have.  There were gambles that we took that were prompted more by a narcissistic headiness than a thoughtful deliberation.  There were risks that we embraced out of some childish cavalier notion rather than a measured wisdom.  We have some bad things that we caused that we just don’t like to deal with, so we kick them down the road as well.      

 

Versions of Kicking the Can

Yet, things don’t go away just because we want them to.  Problems don’t get solved just because we’re annoyed with them.  Life is not so enchanted that things simply just dissipate all by themselves, or mystically resolve themselves because life feels bad for us.  ‘Avoidance’ is not some sort of practiced slight-of-hand where the things that we’re avoiding magically vanish under the silken cloak of avoidance.  ‘Denial’ is not some ingenious, multi-purpose tool that fixes whatever problem is that we’re in denial of, somehow busily working away behind the scenes while we’re sitting in denial of the problem.  And whatever ‘ignoring’ is, it’s not powerful enough to somehow relegate the thing that we’re ignoring to the very oblivion that we hope our ignoring will relegate it to.  We all have things that we just don’t like to do, so we kick the can down the road.

 

Kicking the Can Implies Acceptance of the Can

In kicking the can, it’s not that we’re in denial of the issue, or the commitment, or the obligation, or the deadline that we’re working so hard to avoid, or the self-made mess that we want to forget about.  We’ve come to accept whatever it is that we’re kicking down the road, and we’ve embraced the fact that it’s a part of our lives and it’s likely here to stay as much as we hate that.  We’ve long given up hope that it’s going to go away, or supernaturally fix itself, or be fixed by someone else.  Kicking the can down the road implies that we’re accepted the galling reality that whatever it is that we’ve avoiding, it’s something that’s not going to go away; at least on its own.  So given that it’s not going to go away, we decide to push it away by kicking it down the road.

 

Kicking the Can Is an Action Based on a Decision

Kicking the can down the road is an action.  It represents the decision that we’ve made about whatever it is that we’re avoiding.  It’s the choice we’ve made to deal with this thing by not dealing with it.  It’s a conscious decision to placate responsibility, postpone the inevitable, deny our poor choices, pay a legitimate obligation forward yet again, and momentarily pretend that all is good so as to avoid any discomfort around that fact that all is not good.  There’s nothing inherently good or redeeming about kicking the can down the road.  In doing so, we’re doing nothing more than exhibiting cowardice and nothing less than throwing off responsibility.

 

Kicking the Can to Pawn It Off

Sometimes kicking the can down the road is done out of some pathetic hope that somebody else is going to pick it up and take care of it for us.  Maybe someone else will step in or step up and solve this. Maybe if we kick it down the road long enough and hard enough somebody else is going to get tired of watching us do it, or feel bad enough for us that they’ll take care of it.  Maybe we’re actually kicking the can in the direction of somebody as a means of baiting them a bit and hoping they’ll get rid of this for us.  Whatever the case, maybe someone will have mercy on us, walk up to the can, pick it up, and dispense of it for us. 

 

Kicking The Can is Often Blaming the Can on Someone Else

Sometimes kicking the can is designed to kick it so far away from us that we no longer look like we’re connected to the can.  If we can ignore the issue long enough and distance ourselves from it far enough, we can often make it look like we really have nothing to do with it at all.  But more than that, it’s often a way to distance the issue or the mistake or the blunder so far from us that it actually looks as if it belongs to someone else.  Maybe we can ignore the issue long enough and kick it so far away from us that it appears as if it’s closer to somebody else than it is to us.  If we can pull that off, we can actually make the issue look like it belongs to the person that we’ve kicked it over to.  And too often once we’ve done that, we not only make the claim that it’s theirs, but we go so far as to say that it was never ours in the first place.  Suddenly, kicking the can down the road becomes an act of kicking it over onto someone else’s road.

 

Kicking the Can Will Kick Our Can

There are implications for kicking the can down the road.  Sometimes those implications are serious beyond whatever the issue was in the first place.  Sometimes they’re outright devastating.  The reality of life is such that avoiding most things means that those things will become worse in the avoiding, not better.  If we’re avoiding something in the first place it’s probably because it’s pretty bad to begin with, otherwise we wouldn’t be working so hard to avoid it.  And the worse something is, the worse it’s going to get if we avoid it.  We add to the problem each time with avoid the problem.  So kicking the proverbial can down the road only increases in the size of the can.  And when that happens there will come a time when it’s too big to kick any longer. 

 

What’s Your Can?

We all have our cans.  Some are small and some are anything but small.  But we all have them and it would be in our best interest to be honest about them.  It’s time to identify our cans, as grueling and distasteful as that might be.  Once we’ve done that, it’s time to quite the kicking and start the resolving.  The road to resolution might be a rough one that demands much of us, but it will not demand as much of us as it will if we keep on kicking the can.  It’s about being accountable.  It’s about being a person of integrity and intention.  It’s about stepping up to whatever our cans might be, purposefully reaching down, picking up the lot of them and ridding our lives of each one.  A life with no cans to kick is a life of un-littered roads that grant us unobstructed passage.  And it would seem that a litter free road would be a rather nice one to travel.  It might be wise to consider adopting a can free life and giving up a kicking career.

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Pay Attention: Here’s How

by Craig Lounsbrough
written by Craig Lounsbrough

“Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, seeks whom he may devour!” 1 Peter 5:8

“So let’s not sleepwalk through life like those others. Let’s keep our eyes open and be smart. Walk out into the daylight sober, dressed up in faith, love, and the hope of salvation.” 1 Thessalonians 5:6

 

We can certainly ‘exist’ without paying attention, despite the rather dangerous and somewhat spurious nature of such an existence.  But that does not and cannot wave off the larger question that we too often avoid; can I actually ‘live’ without paying attention?

 

Paying Attention to Live Fully

It’s my sense that most of us want to move through life and actually ‘live’ life as we move through it.  There appears to be a seemingly endless litany of people who look at life once it’s blown-by and ask what they’ve really gotten out of it as it blew by.  Too many people look over their shoulders and see a whole lot of life behind them, without a whole lot of anything in their hands to show for everything that’s behind them.  They then turn and they peer with longing eyes into the future.  And in the peering, they don’t see enough life left ahead of them to ever make up for what got by them.  As massive and robust as life is, it got by us and we didn’t even see it in the passing.

 

It seems that far too often we don’t really pay attention.  We think we pay attention.  We most certainly believe that we pay attention.  We would look in the mirror and tell ourselves that we’re quite observant and fairly sharp.  We feel that we’re astute and keen in discerning life as it’s coming at us.  We watch a myriad of things unfold and applaud ourselves for figuring out that they were unfolding long before they showed up to unfold.  We’ve come this far and we quite naturally assume that we must have paid some degree of attention in order to get this far.  Most of us feel that we’re paying attention.  But are we paying attention, or are we doing other things that mimic paying attention?

 

Habit Verses Paying Attention

But how often are we simply caught in worn-out patterns of behaviors that have nothing to do with paying attention and everything to do with habit?  How often are we simply habitually reactionary, doing in this particular instance in what we’ve done in every other instance that came before it?  We think that we’re paying attention when what we’re doing is paying homage to mindless repetition, slothfully assuming that since this response worked before it will work again.  Habit makes the heart comatose because the heart doesn’t have to pay attention anymore.

 

Habit is a whole lot easier than paying attention.  For those of us who prefer ease over advancement, habit will address the problem with a whole lot less energy and significantly less time than paying attention would demand of us.  Habit is the soul on autopilot, where we have the richness of life fly right by us without a single inking that something is now fading in the rearview mirror that we never even saw out of the front window.  Fundamentally, habit demands nothing of us other than we remember what the habit is so that we can repeat it. 

 

Ignoring Versus Paying Attention

How often do we feign that we’re paying attention, when we’re actually actively ignoring what’s going on?  There are those times in life when whatever’s happening isn’t all that savory.  Sometimes things aren’t all that fun, and whatever’s coming at us is something that we’d prefer were moving away from us.  There are times when we just don’t care to care, and so we turn a blind eye and walk away.    

 

And at these times we pretend that we’re paying attention so that we’re not looking irresponsible or lax.  Often we’re not paying attention on purpose.  We can look invested, and appear concerned, and present as attentive when we’re frankly ignoring the whole distasteful situation.  And in ignoring it, what we’re doing is hoping that it will rapidly pass into the foggy recesses of our lives and our memories without disturbing our lives.    

 

Assuming Versus Paying Attention

Sometimes we think we’re paying attention when what we’re doing is assuming.  We draw conclusions, or craft opinions, or develop points of view about something.  And in doing so, we assume that we could not have drawn these conclusions, or crafted these opinions, or developed these points of view without the information to do so.  And so we assume that the only reason that we have the information is because we’ve been paying attention.

 

Yet, far too often we’re not really paying attention at all.  Rather, we’re drawing from past experiences, or preconceived biases, or the opinion of some social group that we’ve aligned ourselves with.  We’ve heard rumors, or read something somewhere, or just have this gut-level feeling about something.  And while all of this can have some degree of value, it cannot replace the need to pay attention so that the decisions we make are based on relevant, timely and factual information rather than the muddied slurry of other things.

 

Following Versus Paying Attention

Finally, often what we’re really paying attention to is where everyone else is going.  We’re paying strict attention to the trends and we heed all things vogue.  We’re focusing on the colorful declarations of some group, or the rants on Social Media, or the opinions of some celebrity, or the united convictions of some philosophy that we’ve embraced.  We want to know where everyone else is going with whatever this is so that we can escape any real thinking by letting the group decide for us while staying in lock-step with the group so we don’t appear too odd.

 

In these situations we’re certainly paying attention.  But we’re paying attention to others who probably aren’t paying much attention because too often they’re focused on agendas verses ferreting out truth.  We’ve aligned ourselves with an array of sources that have molded some pretty convincing looking truth out of some pretty pathetic agendas.  And I don’t think we want to pay attention to that.

 

Start Paying Attention

To live is to observe.  To experience the fullness of life is to put oneself into the fullness of life.  To embrace the wholeness of this journey is to lift your head, squint your eyes, wipe your heart of bias, pull away the lens of agendas and look.  And in the looking we might be profoundly challenged, but if we adhere to truth we will never be disappointed.  And when you pay attention, you’ll never have to worry about looking over your shoulder and seeing a whole lot of life behind you, without a whole lot of anything in your hands to show for everything that’s behind you.  And that will be the case because you took the time to pay attention.

 

 

 

 
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A Bible Model for Revival Praying

by Dave Butts
written by Dave Butts

For many years now, the Lord has put the issue of revival praying upon my heart. Initially, I must admit, my prayers were fairly generic: “O Lord, please revive us.” As I have grown in my approach to prayer, I’ve learned more specific requests, especially in using the Word of God to help format and provide content for my prayers. Psalm 80 and Isaiah 63 and 64 have helped me to petition the Lord for revival with both variety and the power of Scripture behind my requests.

Recently I have been praying through the Psalms again. I began to lift before the Lord the words of Psalm 74. To my delight, I found another “revival” prayer. My desire is that this Psalm will provide fuel for the fire of intercession and petition in your life as you beseech God to once again bless us with His Presence in revival.

As you pray through Psalm 74, please notice that before major sections I share some comments to help you see the aspects of revival in each passage. I encourage you to move beyond Bible study however, to passionately praying the heart of the Psalmist.

 

The Awareness of the Need for Revival

At the beginning of Psalm 74 we find the agonizing realization that God’s presence is not near. In fact, because of sin, there has been a sense of rejection. As is typical in revival praying, there is a cry for God to remember His people and return to them:
“Why have You rejected us forever, O God? Why does Your anger smolder against the sheep of Your pasture? Remember the people You purchased of old, the tribe of Your inheritance, whom You redeemed – Mount Zion, where You dwelt. Turn Your steps toward these everlasting ruins, all this destruction the enemy has brought on the sanctuary” (Psa. 74:1-3).

The Result of God’s Apparent Absence

When sin is accepted in the life of the people of God, the consequences begin to be felt. The enemies of God and His people begin to afflict the nation. Notice that the Psalmist uses the phrase, “Your foes roared.” This reminds us that our ultimate enemy is Satan, the one whom Peter tells us roams about as a roaring lion seeking whom he might devour (1 Pet. 5:8).
“Your foes roared in the place where You met with us; they set up their standards as signs. They behaved like men wielding axes to cut through a thicket of trees. They smashed all the carved paneling with their axes and hatchets. They burned Your sanctuary to the ground; they defiled the dwelling place of Your Name. They said in their hearts, ‘We will crush them completely!’ They burned every place where God was worshiped in the land. We are given no miraculous signs; no prophets are left, and none of us knows how long this will be” (Psa. 74:4-9).

Turning to an Awareness of the God to Whom We Are Praying.

An important lesson to learn in prayer is that ultimately we need to be concerned about God and His reputation and the extension of His kingdom and purposes. Revival really isn’t about us having better meetings or being happy. It is about God’s Name being exalted and more praise and honor given to Him on this planet. Notice that the Psalmist asked God to go to work, because He is the one being reviled and mocked through the attacks on His people. Note also that this portion of the Psalm then moves into a wonderful expression of recognizing God’s power and ability to handle any attack. It is as we understand the awesome power of the One we are addressing in prayer, that our faith will grow and we will begin to pray in a way that moves the hand of God.
“How long will the enemy mock You, O God? Will the foe revile Your name forever? Why do You hold back Your hand, Your right hand? Take it from the folds of Your garment and destroy them!
“But You, O God, are my king from of old; You bring salvation upon the earth. It was You who split open the sea by Your power; You broke the heads of the monster in the waters. It was You who crushed the heads of Leviathan and gave him as food to the creatures of the desert. It was You who opened up springs and streams; You dried up the ever flowing rivers. The day is Yours, and Yours also the night; You established the sun and moon. It was You who set all the boundaries of the earth; You made both summer and winter” (Psa. 74:10-17).

The Request for Revival

Once again, this prayer is focused upon the honor of God and the integrity of His covenant with His people. The concern is for the Lord and how He is perceived by the nations. The cry for God to rise up and defend His cause will mean that Israel will once again walk in right relationship to their God. When He prospers them, they cry that God will be honored, not only by Israel, but by those nations in the area who see how He protects and prospers His people when they obey Him.
“Remember how the enemy has mocked You, O LORD, how foolish people have reviled Your name. Do not hand over the life of Your dove to wild beasts; do not forget the lives of Your afflicted people forever. Have regard for Your covenant, because haunts of violence fill the dark places of the land. Do not let the oppressed retreat in disgrace; may the poor and needy praise Your name. Rise up, O God, and defend Your cause; remember how fools mock You all day long. Do not ignore the clamor of Your adversaries, the uproar of Your enemies, which rises continually” (Psa. 74:18-23).

Our Prayer

Here is a prayer to pray that embraces the principles of revival in Psalm 74 and makes them our own:
Father, like ancient Israel, we too live in a day in which Your Name is mocked. Many times this happens because of the shortcomings and sins of those of us who are followers of Your holy Son, Jesus. Lord, we confess our sins and the way we have lived our lives as Christians apart from complete dependence upon You. We repent of this shameful self-sufficiency and throw ourselves upon Your mercy.
Gracious God, our lifestyle has often led unbelievers to insult and attack Your very nature and character. We ask You, Lord, to rise up and defend Yourself. Would You awaken Your people to the reality of Your presence in our midst and in so doing transform our lives into the character of Christ that You desire to see in us? May Your life lived out in Your Church begin to demonstrate to the world Your love, grace, mercy and overwhelming power on behalf of Your saints. Would You allow the kingdom principles that govern heaven to begin to be made manifest on earth? We ask You to revive Your people so that we may rejoice in You and demonstrate in our lives the awesome, transforming power of Jesus Christ in His Church. Amen.

www.harvestprayer.com. Used by permission.

 

 

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Chris Dixon: Good Ideas That Seem Like Bad Ideas

by Warren Bird
written by Warren Bird

Chris Dixon is an entrepreneur and a partner at the venture capital firm Andreessen Horowitz so he sees thousands of ideas—some that look like good ideas and some that look like bad ideas. Dixon started with a Venn diagram created by Peter Thiel. Thiel points out that the sweet spot for start-ups was the space where good ideas seem like bad ideas.

Historically good ideas that seemed like bad ideas at the time include:

  • The telephone— “This ‘telephone’ has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us.” – Western Union internal memo, 1876
  • The radio– “The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?” – David Sarnoff’s associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s.
  • The automobile—“The horse is here to stay, but the automobile is only a novelty—a fad”–Advice from a president of the Michigan Savings Bank to Henry Ford’s lawyer Horace Rackham.
  • The airplane– “Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value.” – Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre.
  • TV—“Television? The word is half Latin and half Greek. No good can come of it”–C. P. Scott, BBC History of television
  • The computer– “I think there is a world market for maybe five computers” – Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943
  • The Beatles– “We don’t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out” – Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962
  • The Personal computer– “There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home” – Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977
  • FedEx– “The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a ‘C’, the idea must be feasible.” – A Yale University management professor in response to Fred Smith’s paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service. (Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.)
  • iPhone—“There’s no chance that the iPhone is going to get any significant market share”–Steve Ballmer, USA Today, April 30, 2007

These are all good ideas that seemed like bad ideas to the decision-makers at the time. Before we berate those fools who said such idiotic things about such obviously good ideas, what was your first response to these recent ventures that are now very successful? Be honest. Did you recognize them as good ideas?

  • Airbnb—renting out a spare room
  • eBay—selling online what you used to sell at garage sales
  • Skype—“Hey, it’s cool but the picture keeps freezing”
  • Twitter—“What can you say in 140 characters?”
  • Lyft—“Private taxi using personal vehicle?”
  • Flickr—“Why would people want to make their photos public?”
  • Facebook—“Why would I want to put my personal life online?”

Chris Dixon says that to discover the intersection of GITLLBI you’ve got to know the secret. A secret is “what you believe that few other people believe.” Here is his secret to having a breakthrough idea:

  • Know the tools better than anyone else—what are the tools of your trade?
  • Know the problems better than anyone else—what do people want to do that they are currently not able to do?
  • Draw from your own life experience / background—what insight do you have from the nature of people, the constraints of ministry as it is currently conceived?

Dixon goes on to explain characteristics of GITLLBIs:

  • Powerful people will often dismiss them as toys—think about the telephone and airplane
  • GITLLBIs unbundle the functions done by others—Newspapers are unbundled to create new online offerings. Craig’s List replacing classified ads, Twitter feeds replacing the headlines, etc. MOOCs (Massive Online Open Courses) aren’t intended to replace the university experience but only an unbundled slices of that experience—coursework, tests and grading. MOOCs do not replace the social experience and networking, credentialing, job recruiting, intramural / sports participation, clubs, etc.
  • They often originate as hobbies
    • Homebrew computer club was Steve Jobs and Steve Wazniak’s hobby
    • Blogs were hobby
    • Web was hobby
    • Open source coding was a hobby
    • Multi-site churches were started as a temporary solution not a strategy
    • Lifechurch.tv’s YouVersion of the Bible started as hobby and is now used by over 130 million people

    Is there a way that that you, as a ministry leader, can look at ideas through the GITLLBI lens? Could “church” (like the university) be unbundled into the different layers that make up church? What are the layers that comprise a fully functioning healthy church? Could you get more traction by unbundling this experience? Do you know anyone who would be willing to give it a try? Think of things that you are currently dismissing as a bad idea, a novelty or a toy that might really be a good idea. When your first response is, “That will never work,” instead of dismissing the idea maybe that thought should be your invitation to dive in and explore the possibilities.

    Leadership Network’s approach is to help identify ideas / practices that are on the periphery (and maybe dismissed by others) and help churches bring them to the center, creating new norms that are more effective in helping people experience life as God designed it. If you find yourself thinking about life and ministry differently I encourage you to check out what LN can do for you. Go here to discover more.

    Summary written by Eric Swanson of Leadership Network. Used by permission.

     

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What Are You Afraid Of? Exterminate Your Fears

by Julie Barrier
written by Julie Barrier

What are you afraid of? Bugs give me the willies. Always have, always will. If I had my way, I’d strap a ten-pound can of Raid to my back and wear a pair of size thirteen stomping shoes for spider-smushing. Today I want you to face your fears and give you godly guidance about how to exterminate them.

 

You may deny bug aversion, but everyone is scared of something. Just Google a list of phobias. Ablutophobia means fear of bathing. Men were born with that one. Arithmophobia is a fear of numbers. I’ve had that one since algebra. Alektraphobia is the fear of chickens. Colonel Sanders had that one, God rest his soul. Fears abound under every letter of the alphabet. You can have xyrophobia, fear of razors (my husband has that one, too), or zemmiphobia, fear of the great mole rat. Bats (the flying kind — not the wooden kind) give me the willies. Mice, snakes and aggressive geese cause me to shake and shiver. Losing my car in the mall parking lot is a perpetual fear, probably because I do it at least once a week. However, every other fear of mine pales in comparison to my bug loathing.

 

There are no creepy crawlers in heaven. How do I know? Insects are of the Devil. Remember the Egyptian plagues and the locusts of Revelation? Baal means “lord of the flies.” I rest my case. “Thus saith the Lord, ‘Neither buggeth, nor wormeth, nor roacheth nor spidereth shall inhabit my holy home.’” 1 Julie 1:24.

 

My abhorrence of all things “insectual” began at an early age. A wolf spider (not werewolf), a cricket (not Jiminy), a praying mantis (really an agnostic), a katydid (oh, no she didn’t), and a beetle (not the band) filled my mind with little girl terror. Invisible pest predators were the worst. During my preschool summer days, chiggers infested the lush bermuda grass in my backyard and took up residence between my toes. The more I scratched, the more they itched and scooted around underneath the skin on my lumpy feet. Daddy said nail polish would suffocate the little boogers, but Mom disagreed and washed me in a chigger soap that smelled like rotten eggs and black tar. The chiggers died, but nobody would sit next to me at Vacation Bible School.

 

Ladybugs and doodle bugs were safe “little girl” insects. Their bright red and black spotted shells made them fashion icons of the bug world. Florescent butterfly wings flapping in the breeze paled in comparison, fireflies glistening in the night sky were a “flash in the pan,” but ladybugs were practically perfect in every way. Lulu, our favorite ladybug, minded her manners when she scuttled up Kathy’s forearm, tickling only a little bit. She didn’t even holler when my little sister pulled off a leg or two.

 

So how do we eradicate the trepidation that torments us? Let’s take a look at three of Satan’s fearing attacks and see what God has to say about them.

 

Tarantula Fear

Job 3:25 “What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me.” NIV
The thud of defibrillator paddles rocked me to the core. “I can’t stand up,” my husband weakly whispered early one Sunday morning. Somehow I helped him limp to the car and I drove like a bat out of hell to the emergency room. He was in VTAC, a deadly heart rhythm that could claim his life. I stared my greatest fear in the face-losing my precious husband. He survived, but I died a little inside. Tarantula fears like death, disease and divorce can “sucker punch” you.

 

So how do you respond to tarantula fears?

Psalm 27:1 encourages us with God’s great power. “The LORD is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?” NIV The only reason Peter didn’t drown on the choppy Galilean sea was he kept his eyes on the face of his Master. How do you really do that? Spend time praising God, reading His Word and meditating on His faithful character. Ask Him to give you a heavenly perspective. Gaze on God and glance at your problem. I am not suggesting that your peace will come overnight, but in time I have found it to bring supernatural peace to my soul. I also have a close-knit group of prayer partners. Their faith encircles me and holds me up.

 

Black Widow Fear

John 3:25 “Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed.”NIV Deadly black widows lurk in corners, in dark places. Black widows are pretty. They don’t look dangerous, but their venomous bites are devastating.

 

Evan, my best friend’s son, was happily bobbing in the shallow end of the pool with my daughter Bronwyn at his side. Teresa, his mother, and I sat chatting in the poolside chairs beside our little charges. One second our kids were splashing away, and suddenly Evan was drowning before our very eyes. He was still standing in the water, but his blue eyes had a glassy stare and he was motionless. Evan wasn’t breathing. Teresa leapt in the pool, fished her baby out and began mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. If we had looked away for a moment longer, Evan would have died.

 

Our inattentiveness almost cost Evan’s life in a nanosecond. Don’t let black widows sneak up on you. Stay out of dark corners. Clean out the cobwebs of your life. Overspend once, twice, and third time and suddenly you are drowning in debt. Now you are facing foreclosure on your home. You’re terrified. But you inched into the dark shadow of greed and it almost poisoned you.

 

Walk in God’s light and be hypervigilent.  Expect Satan to booby-trap you. Wear God’s armor, and keep yourself accountable to a godly brother or sister. The poet in Psalm 91: 9-14 says, “If you make the LORD your refuge, if you make the Most High your shelter, no evil will conquer you; no plague will come near your dwelling. For He orders his angels to protect you wherever you go. They will hold you with their hands to keep you from striking your foot on a stone. You will trample down lions and poisonous snakes; you will crush fierce lions and serpents under your feet! The LORD says, ‘I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name.’” NIV

 

Ladybug Fear

Proverbs 19:23:“Fear of God is life itself, a full life, and serene—no nasty surprises.” The Message.

Ladybug fear is the fear of the LORD, the beginning of wisdom. Reverence God. Worship Him and get to know His character. Spend time in solitude and silence to calm your soul. Even if your teeny weak ladybug legs are pulled out from under you, you’re still in God’s huge hands. You can rest there, safe and sound. Tragedy has hit my family this year more than anytime in my life. But I’ve walked with God a long time now. I know He is faithful and never leaves my side.

My husband is a lot like God. I hold the firm belief that most women marry for the sole purpose of having someone large and brave around to do all of the cricket chasing and spider smashing. When I see something hairy or squiggly, I simply call my husband’s name and my hairy “shoe fairy” rescues me from peril. He is my strong, brave Terminator. I shall fear no weevil.

Portions taken from “Bored in Big Church: Recollections of a Church Brat and Tattletale.” by Julie Barrier. Order in paperback or Kindle on Amazon.

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Satan’s Hour: When Hell Hits the Church

by Francis Frangipane
written by Francis Frangipane

There is no greater opportunity to become Christlike than in the midst of pain and injustice. When Satan is raging with evil, God is planning to turn it to good. If we maintain our integrity in battle; if we let love rise to its purest expression, we will touch the heart of God. Such is the path to God’s power.

I have set my heart to eliminate many of the vulnerabilities to, and effects of, church splits and other ungodly divisions. At the same time, I realize that we can do almost everything right as pastors and churches and still suffer divisions. For some of us, this may actually be part of God’s greater plan for our lives–that we should endure rejection, conflict and slander as part of the process of truly becoming Christlike.

A Collective Madness



Let me address those who may currently be engaged in splitting a church . My earnest admonition is that you flee quickly from the dividing group. For once you fully embrace the resolve to split your church, a type of “collective madness” occurs. You will know what you are doing is wrong, but will become so hardened that you detach yourself from guilt. You will be aware that your anger is venomous and unchristlike, but you will be powerless to mute your words.

Beloved, no one needs to slay love to defend truth. Love is not truth’s enemy; it is its validator. If what you say cannot be said in love, do not say it. It is not of God. To speak without love is evidence that the collective madness has begun to infect your soul.

Satan’s Hour



Let us isolate this terrible insanity that drives people to say and do things they know are wrong. For the sake of discernment, we shall call this season of madness “Satan’s hour.” It is a period when the restraining powers of justice and goodness seem to withdraw. Instead of love, or even civility, what governs the dissenting group is the manifest “power of darkness” (see Luke 22:53).

It is as though people invite the legions of hell to temporarily escape the abode of the damned and find access to their secret resentments–the unresolved issues that exist in their hearts. The resident evil within human nature is fully awakened, and then empowered by hell to fulfill demonic gratification.

This collective madness is the exact opposite of a visitation from heaven; it is a visitation from hell. It is not the healing of bodies, but the wounding of hearts. It is not reconciliation between souls, but estrangement of friends. It is not truth spoken in love, but emotions discharged in wrath. It is not the gospel of peace, but the heartache of strife. During Satan’s hour, friends become enemies; loyalties become betrayals; and unity degrades into unreconcilable division. Satan’s hour is an uncontested, seemingly unstoppable, invasion from hell, where every hidden jealousy, every secret, unresolved bitterness in the human heart is unsheathed and used as a weapon in the hands of demons of strife. It strikes churches, but it also manifests during a divorce and in other personal relationships. Its goal is to divide and destroy.

Indeed, Jesus Himself, during His last days on earth, watched this invasion from hell advance upon the people of Jerusalem. It’s power infected even His own disciples. Yet, if we study the terrible, demonic events which were compressed into Jesus’ last earthly days, we can gain a vital insight into the demonic activity in church splits and divorces. More importantly, we can see how God can bring victory through it.

First, this swarm of evil did not take Jesus unaware. Throughout the time of His ministry Jesus frequently warned His disciples that a time of unfettered evil would come (Mark 8:31; 9:12; Luke 17:25). As the day arrived, Jesus announced to His disciples that the prince of darkness was coming (John 14:30). Yet, knowing a time of satanic darkness was at hand did not make enduring it easier; knowing such a time was imminent, however, did help Jesus to prepare.

Thus, Jesus was fully aware of several things that would occur during Satan’s hour: evil would strike in full force and His disciples would be severely sifted (Luke 22:31); His followers would scatter; and one of the twelve would betray Him. Even Jesus’ closest friends would deny they ever knew Him (see Luke 22:60-61). Satan’s hour was a time when reality itself seemingly bent in service to the power of darkness (Luke 22:53), and the Father offered nothing Jesus could use to stop it.

We cannot help but picture Jesus always upbeat and overcoming, but when hell was unleashed, even God’s Son was not invulnerable to Satan’s oppression. “Grieved and distressed,” Jesus took His closest friends aside and spoke intimately with them about His heartache. “My soul is deeply grieved, to the point of death,” He said, as He urged Peter, James and John, to keep watch with Him. Yet, the heaviness of satanic battle overwhelmed them. Even John, who had rested his head on Jesus’ breast, could not lift his head from slumber–all escaped into sleep, hiding themselves from excessive sorrow (Matt 26:38-45).

Staggered by the weight of the spiritual attack against Him, Jesus “fell to the ground, and began to pray that if it were possible, the hour might pass Him by” (Mark 14:35). We know Jesus ministered peace wherever He went, yet now His intense, internal struggle ruptured blood vessels on His face, which beaded on His skin. Again, He sought to waken His disciples. Roused from sleep, they actually saw the droplets of blood on Christ’s brow and cheeks; still, they could not endure.

I think it is significant that Jesus returned to His friends three times during the hour of His Gethsemane prayer (Matt 26:39-45). Beloved, there are some agonies in life for which God alone seems not enough; we crave also the comfort of our friends ( Prov 17:17). There is no substitute for our Heavenly Father’s Presence, yet our soul also needs the embrace of a loyal companion, the shoulder of a faithful friend. Yet, Jesus’ friends were not there. They slept while He prayed. They fled when the Pharisees came (Matt 26:56). During the trial when, of all people, they could have certainly defended Jesus’ character and doctrine, they hid. Even if others would forsake Him, surely these who broke bread with Him, who knew His heart, would speak in His defense. Yet from Gethsemane to the cross, Jesus heard the voice of just one friend. It was Peter’s, who less than a day earlier had sworn undying loyalty, swearing now he never knew Him (Matt 26:69-70; Luke 22:61).

Our Master experienced betrayal, abandonment, slander, mockery and gross injustice. He endured the heartache of His disciples’ immaturity–their failure to pray, failure to stand and failure to defend the truth about their most wonderful friend and Lord.

Dear follower of Jesus, what our Messiah endured and what the disciples suffered, in various degrees, are all the elements found in a church split. What happens to a pastor–what might have happened to your pastor during a church split–is similar in nature to what Jesus Himself suffered in His last few days.

How Jesus Overcame



For a pastor, there exists only one way out of the tragedy of a church split: become like Jesus. You see, God’s greatest goal for our lives is not that we become successful ministers, but that we become Christlike. Pastoring is simply an opportunity to be transformed into Christlikeness. This means that, when we go through injustices and conflicts, Christ’s character and mercy must be manifested in our mortal lives. As we follow Christ’s pattern, we learn to respond to human failures as Jesus did.

The wounding that occurs to a pastor during a split comes on several fronts: the failure of friends or church members to speak in his defense or to persevere, on his behalf, in prayer. Confusion and fear, suspicion and doubt overshadow people who know better, paralyzing them into inaction. To counteract the failure of His disciples during their personal sifting, Jesus assured them, “but I have prayed for you, that your faith may not fail; and you, when once you have turned again, strengthen your brothers” (Luke 22:32).

There are valuable lessons for Jesus’ disciples that only failure can teach, and Jesus knew this. His disciples frequently slipped into pride and strife. After their failure, they were humbled, broken and contrite enough for God to use them. The Holy Spirit redeemed their failure, using it to excavate their souls of pride. These same disciples would soon be willing to suffer and die for Jesus, and count it an honor to do so. They never denied Him again. Knowing they would fail Him, Jesus prayed that their faith would not fail and, upon returning, they would become a strength for others.

For the disciples, their biggest problem was carrying the guilt-burden of their failure. Yet, immediately after warning them that they would, in fact, each deny Him, Jesus comforted them, “Let not your heart be troubled” (see John 13:38-14:1). Incredibly, even before they fell, Jesus sought to remove the weight of condemnation that would inevitably seek to overwhelm them.

So, pastors, as Jesus loved His disciples, even though they failed Him, so we need to love those who, though falling short of our expectations, still remain with us. They will strengthen others. We need to remove any sense of condemnation or blame from those who have disappointed us. As they see our Christlike reactions, they too will become united to serve God’s highest purposes.

How Jesus Handled His Enemies



Jesus loved His disciples and His love covered and redeemed their failures. However, the next people we must deal with are those playing the role of the enemy, the instruments of injustice, who sought to destroy a ministry through gossip and slander. We must find Christ’s reaction to these and emulate His behavior.

While we may have many legitimate arguments to wage against our accusers, Jesus stood silently before His. Beloved, there is a time to take your stand and defend what God is doing, and there is a time to become silent and simply entrust yourself to God. Peter reveals how Jesus processed the storm of accusation that came against His soul. Peter writes, “while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously” (1 Peter 2:23).

If your words will not persuade your attackers, beloved, recognize it is time to be silent. Yet, Jesus was not just silent; He bore their sins on His cross (1 Peter 2:24). So also for us: It is not enough that we not react negatively; we must respond positively to those who come against us, just as Christ did. We must pray the mercy prayer, even when it may appear that they have successfully put to death our vision.

You see, Jesus knew Satan’s hour was coming. Yet He also knew that if He could maintain His vision of redemption and His capacity to love, it would be through this very time of darkness that redemption would triumph for mankind. Though grieved and deeply troubled, still Jesus prayed, “What shall I say, ‘Father, save Me from this hour’? But for this purpose I came” (John 12:27).

Jesus understood that for redemption to be accomplished, His love would face its most severe test. Jesus knew this battle was over one thing: would He allow love to reach full maturity and its most perfect expression? Would He maintain His passion for man’s redemption even as men mocked and crucified Him?

So it is with us. God allows injustices to perfect our love. The cross is the cost we pay so love can triumph. This battle is not about you and your enemies, but about you maintaining love in the midst of injustice.

Dear pastor, let us redefine our meaning of success. Here is the success that will bring the power of redemption into our world: When we have endured Satan’s hour and, instead of reacting, allowed adversity to refine our love, we will have succeeded in the purpose of our existence.

Beloved, regardless of the test God calls you to endure, it is not about you and your relational opponent. The real issue is about you and God. Will you allow love to be perfected? Will you transform Satan’s hour into an offering of your life in Christlike surrender?

Lord Jesus, my soul yearns to be like You. Master of all that is good, grant me grace to succeed in love. Guard my heart from its natural instinct for self-survival. Let me never choose the way of hardness; let me, in all things, find the way of life. Even now, I offer myself for those who have struck me. Thank You for the opportunity to become like You. Amen.

 

www.frangipane.org

 

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50 Ways to Make Church Appealing for Men

by David Murrow
written by David Murrow

Our churches can create a “male-friendly” atmosphere that will reach men for Christ. Here are a number of suggestions to draw them in!

Front door experience:

  • Maintain your buildings and grounds
  • Put men in the parking lot
  • One layer of greeters (don’t be too friendly)
  • Lots of signs so men don’t have to ask directions

Worship service:

  • Keep the focus on God – not the family
  • Minimize dead time between elements
  • Do something unexpected
  • Add humor or something fun
  • Good lighting and sound so people can easily see and hear

Décor:

  • Remove the “old lady” stuff: quilts, felt banners, needlepoint, etc.
  • Remove lace and flowers from communion table.
  • Remove bulletin boards and “kindergarten classroom” collages from interior walls
  • Decide if religious symbols in the sanctuary help or hinder
  • Colors: choose earth tones and colors of the field

Give men space:

  • Do not ask the congregation to hold hands
  • Do not ask everyone to hug everyone else
  • Discourage “prayer mushrooms”

Prayer:

  • Keep pastoral prayers short
  • Avoid showy “prayer-speak” when praying in church
  • Avoid “vain repetitions” in public prayers
  • Offer prayer after the service instead of prayer-and-share

Music:

  • Quality is vital. Don’t attempt more than your musicians can deliver.
  • Choose songs that convey respect to God
  • Avoid wimpy “love songs to Jesus”
  • Avoid more than 3 repeats of any chorus
  • Select a key the baritones can sing
  • Help the worship leader “man-up”

A pastor who relates well to men will:

  • Talk like a regular guy (avoid “preacher-speak”)
  • Do man stuff and talk about it during the message
  • Choose metaphors and stories men can relate to
  • Be firm but gracious on theology and moral issues
  • Be judicious about emotive displays

Teaching:

  • Shorter is almost always better. Say it and be done.
  • Share personal stories of your struggles as a man
  • Avoid feminine metaphors (such as “fall in love with Jesus”)
  • Avoid “preacher-speak”
  • Build sermon around great illustrations
  • Use visual aids
  • Use video clips to illustrate
  • Use an object lesson to illustrate
  • Call men forward for a 3-minute “men’s huddle” at the end of the service

Honor men’s time:

  • Start and end the service on time
  • If something goes long, cut something else on the fly
  • For services more than 90 minutes, offer an intermission or an opportunity to “get-up-and-go” so men don’t feel trapped

Sunday school:

  • Bury the name “Sunday school”
  • Abandon the classroom method in favor of a more kinetic one
  • Place boys with male teachers
  • Don’t ask boys to read aloud
  • Use a boy-friendly curriculum with hands-on learning
  • Use professionally produced videos to help teach spiritual truths
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Avoiding Adultery

by Ed Young Jr
written by Ed Young Jr

Adultery in our culture has become acceptable, even commonplace. The path to promiscuity is paved by a lot of prominent people.  It is amazing what happens in this process.

How does adultery happen? It starts with a distraction, or a sense of entitlement.  Maybe you have gone through a very exhausting time at work.  Maybe you are in a financial pinch.  Maybe you are having marriage trouble.  Maybe sex has become monotonous.  A distraction.  A distraction could be on the other end of the spectrum.  You could be feeling invincible.  You could feel like you are on a roll.  You could be feeling like nothing could touch you.  A distraction.  It always starts with a distraction and from there it usually segueways into an attraction.

 

An attraction occurs in a nanosecond.  You notice someone, a member of the opposite sex, at the health club, around the neighborhood, at the office.  You are attracted to them.  It is not a sin to be attracted to a member of the opposite sex.  Billy Graham said it best.  “It is not the first look that gets you in trouble.  It is the second and the third and the fourth that messes you up.”  We all are going to be attracted by certain members of the opposite sex.  And it should stop at attraction.  It should end right there.  But in many cases, it doesn’t.

 

James 1:14-16.  “But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust…”  See that word enticed?  It is a fishing term.  It means to lure by bait.  “…then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death.”  Do not be deceived.  And this death is emotional death and relational death.  It starts with a distraction, it moves to an attraction.  And if an attraction is left unchecked, we move into infatuation.

 

That is where the problem really begins.  That is where it festers.  Not only are you attracted to the person, but also you begin to play mind games with yourself.  You begin to intentionally spend more and more time with the person, a long, lingering business lunch, after hours work projects. You say things to yourself like, “I wonder what it would be like to touch that person.  I wonder what it would be like to hold that person.  I wonder what it would be like to make love to that person.”  A woman might say, “He understands me.  He knows how to talk to me.  He supports me.  He thinks I am the greatest thing on the planet.”  A man might say, “She is so sexy.  She is so sweet and kind.  She knows what makes me tick.”  And delusions of romantic dinners and sex-filled and sun-drenched vacations begin to dance in your head.  You are infatuated with the person.

 

And then, one day, you do physically what you began to do mentally a long time ago.  You commit adultery.  You break the seventh commandment.  And you trade in a brief moment of ecstasy for a lifetime of pain.  At this point, people have some different reactions.  Some I have talked to, some of the guilt-ridden parties, go on their knees before God and say, “I have sinned against You and my spouse and family.  I am wrong.  I want to do whatever it takes to make my marriage work.”  And they come clean and go through Christian counseling.  I have seen people who have violated the seventh commandment, who have come clean and confessed and really done some tough work.  I have seen them emerge on the other side to have strong, Biblically functioning marriages.  I have seen it.

 

Others who are guilt ridden don’t deal with it.  Others begin to get involved in a deep and diabolical and destructive pattern.  Jesus talked about Satan’s strategy in John 8:44 when He said, “There is no truth in him.  When he lies, he speaks his native language for he is a liar and the father of lies.”  When you commit adultery, the first one on the scene is the father of lies, the evil one.  He begins to whisper lies to you.  He is the father of lies.  He speaks lieneese, lie after lie after lie after lie.  Listen to the popular lies that I have heard from people involved in affairs.  Maybe they sound familiar.

 

The first one is the wedding lie. They confess, “I didn’t really mean the words I said before God and my friends.  I didn’t really mean it.”  Satan has the ability to lie to such a degree that he takes us back, way back before the wedding and somehow people rationalize.  Well, I didn’t really love him.  I didn’t really love her when I walked down the wedding runner.  Amazing stuff.  Diabolical stuff.  Destructive stuff.  Adultery is one of the most devastating sins and blows that can hit the family.  And in almost every divorce case there is almost always a third party involved.  Almost always.  The wedding lie.

 

The feelings lie.  I will never forget the conversation I had several years ago with a man who was bailing out on his wife and his family, a man who was involved with a third party.  This man looked at me and said, “I understand what I am doing is wrong but I am miserable in my marriage.  Now I am happy and God wants me to be happy.  Surely God wants me to be happy.” No! God wants you to be obedient.  He wants you to do the right thing.  He doesn’t want you to crater on this covenant, on this commitment.  If you do what is right and obey Him and hang in there, then your feelings will follow.”  You see, it is easier to act your way into a feeling than to feel your way into an action.

 

Another lie is a denial lie.  People look at others and just lie.  They live on the basis of denying.  “Me, an affair?  On no, I am not having sex with someone else.  Not me.  No way.”

A young lady wrote me this letter a couple of days ago.  “Dear Ed.  Our marriage was not perfect but it was ours.  It was all we knew.  He was my best friend and I trusted him totally.  There were signs.  I didn’t ignore them but I became suspicious and very observant.  I finally got up the nerve to ask him, face to face, “Are you and your co-worker having an affair?”  And my husband and best friend of many years looked me right in the eyes and lied.  There were times when I knew he was talking with her on the phone. My thoughts and actions spun out of control.  I became obsessed with his lies, details of the affair and the events that led to it.  I kept trying to put all the puzzle pieces together.  I was taken over by obsession, images of my husband and his lover would flash through my mind day and night.  I constantly awoke to dreams of him and her in bed together.  It would play over and over and over.  I stopped feeling positive about myself and about life.  It was all negative.  Jealous.  Enraged.  Diminished.  Frightened.  Lonely.  Mistrustful.  Exposed.  His deception blinded me from how I saw myself.  I started doubting and questioning everything about myself.  It must be me.  I must have caused this to happen.  I must change myself.  I felt the fate of our marriage was in my hands.”

 

The support lie.  When someone has broken the seventh commandment and when a guilt-ridden party does not come clean, when they don’t confess their sins to God and to their spouse and work through the pain and alienation and the problems that an affair incurs, some of them use the support lie.  Strategic, sinful, sympathizers in people’s lives surround the person who is committing sin and they identify with the person, pat the person on the back and say, “Hey, it’s OK.  Hey, you deserve it.  Hey, she looks pretty good.  Hey, he is great.  Hey, keep on doing it.  Don’t feel guilty.  Everything’s OK.”  And these people walk around and say, “My new friends support me.  My new friends give me counsel.  My new friends say that I am doing the right thing, busting up a marriage and ruining my children’s lives and getting involved with a third party.  My new friends say that.”

 

If you are involved in adultery right now, ask yourself this question.  Who is counseling you?  Because the evil one will have your life so packed with these sinful sympathizers that it is tough to look above the fray and see people who will speak the truth in love.  Talk to someone who has a commitment to God and to marriage and to others.  Let them speak truth to your life.  Don’t listen to the sinful sympathizers given to you by Satan himself.  They do it to ease their guilt, to remove their responsibility.  It always makes us feel better when we can look around and say that a lot of people are disobeying the seventh.  It must be cool, hip and OK.  Lies.  Just plain old lies.

 

When you feel the attraction moving into infatuation, the first thing I challenge you to do is push the clock forward.  Push the clock forward.  If you trade a brief moment of ecstasy in for a lifetime of pain, think about the lifetime of pain.  Think about the damage.  Think about what it will do to your spouse, your children if you have any and to God.

 

Recognize your various times of vulnerability. Maybe you are exhausted.  Or maybe you are going through some marital problems.  Jesus, after His baptism, after a spiritual high, was driven out into the wilderness.  After He went without food for 40 days and 40 nights, then the evil one emerged on the scene to tempt Him.  He knows when you are most vulnerable.  He knows when you are the most susceptible.  He is waiting, waiting to float that bait by.  He is saying, “No one will ever know.  Try it.  Just taste the bait.  It will be OK.  Everybody is doing it.”  And you mix this with a steady diet of romance novels, trashy magazines, videos and gentlemen’s clubs and you have got someone who is right there, taking the bait.

 

Extinguish the flames of unfaithfulness.  Extinguish the flames of unfaithfulness in your life.  Certain flames might be surrounding you and you must extinguish the flames.  Think about your friends.  Read the studies.  Many affairs occur when one couple is really connected with another couple.  Your best friends, husband and wife, should have the same commitment to fidelity, to God and to the marriage as you do.  If they don’t, you are messing around with some fire.  And if that is not true for you, back off your friendship, back off your relationship and ask God to bring the right Christian friends into your lives.

 

Think about what comes before your eyes.  Think about the things that you watch on your computer screen, the things you read, the things in your video library.  If they fan the flames of unfaithfulness, get rid of them.  Pornography is big business, over eight billion dollars a year.  Trash it.  Get rid of it.  It is not worth it.  You don’t want to sign up for boatloads of pain and anguish that will slowly and strategically cause you.  Because Satan will use it to lie to you.  Well, if that person can do that…

 

Embark on a lifelong journey to enrich your marriage.  Won’t you do that today?  Just make a commitment before God.  “God, I want to embark on a lifelong journey to enrich my marriage.”  It takes work to have a great marriage.  You never arrive, you never say that you have figured it all out.  It takes one little act after another little act, then all those acts begin to build a great marriage.

 

http://www.creativepastors.com. Used by permission.

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Articles

How To Love And Support Your Spiritual Leaders

by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth
written by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth


God’s Word gives us wonderful guidance on what attitudes and actions we are to display toward our spiritual leaders. Use the following questions to help evaluate how you can better love and support those who shepherd you, and honor God in the process!

“We ask you, brothers, to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, and to esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Be at peace among yourselves” (1 Thess. 5:12-13).

  • Do I regularly take time to recognize my spiritual leaders and to identify the contributions they have made in my life?
  • Do I respect those who minister spiritually to me?
  • Do my spiritual leaders know that I admire and love them?
  • Do I express appreciation and gratitude to my spiritual leaders for their labors on my behalf?
  • Do I speak well of my spiritual leaders to others?

“Remember your leaders, those who spoke to you the word of God. Consider the outcome of their way of life, and imitate their faith” (Heb. 13:7).

  • Do I seek to learn from the lives of my spiritual leaders?
  • Do I seek to emulate godly characteristics in the lives of those who have taught me the Word of God?

“Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning . . .” (Heb. 13:17).

  • Am I responsive to the direction of my spiritual leaders?
  • When my spiritual leaders stand before God to give account for my life, will they be able to do so with joy?
  • Do I allow anyone to “watch for my soul”?
  • Do I make it easy for my spiritual leaders to lead me spiritually?

“Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father . . .” (1 Tim. 5:1).

  • When I have a concern about a spiritual leader, do I approach him prayerfully, respectfully, and humbly?
  • Have I been careful to avoid “attacking” or “confronting” my spiritual leaders?

“Do not admit a charge against an elder except on the evidence of two or three witnesses” (1 Tim. 5:19).

  • Am I careful to avoid making charges against my spiritual leaders, apart from going through the necessary biblical channels?
  • Am I careful not to plant seeds of disloyalty by giving evil reports to others about my spiritual leaders?

“For when one says, ‘I follow Paul,’ and another, ‘I follow Apollos,’ are you not being merely human? What then is Apollos? What is Paul? Servants through whom you believed . . . I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth” (1 Cor. 3:4-6).

  • Am I careful to give God the glory for the spiritual growth and fruit in my life?
  • Am I careful to avoid exalting one spiritual leader above others?
  • Do I realize that ultimately it is God who is at work in my life, and that those men who have most impacted me are merely His servants?
  • Do I avoid a sectarian spirit, refusing to take sides with one leader against others?

“Let the elders who rule well be considered worthy of double honor, especially those who labor in preaching and teaching. For the Scripture says, ‘You shall not muzzle an ox when it treads out the grain,’ and, ‘The laborer deserves his wages’” (1 Tim. 5:17-18).

  • Do I express honor in tangible, practical ways to those who lead me spiritually and minister the Word of God to me and to my family?
  • Are the financial needs of the pastoral staff in our church being adequately met?
  • Have I invested financially in the lives of those who have discipled me and helped me grow in my walk with God?

“One who is taught the word must share all good things with the one who teaches” (Gal. 6:6).

  • Am I investing materially in the lives of those who teach me the Word?
  • Do I look for opportunities to minister to the practical needs of my spiritual leaders?

“First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions . . . Brothers, pray for us” (1 Tim. 2:1-2; 1 Thess. 5:25).

  • Do I thank God for the leaders He has put in my life?
  • Do I pray faithfully for the men who are in positions of spiritual leadership over my life?
  • Do I take initiative to find out how I can pray for my spiritual leaders?

© Revive Our Hearts. Used with permission. www.ReviveOurHearts.com Info@ReviveOurHearts.com

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Sermons

Nebuchadnezzar and Daniel

by Glenn Barteau
written by Glenn Barteau

Nebuchadnezzar demonstrates amazing leadership skills, but loses his kingdom for a time.  Eventually, he listens to the wisdom of Daniel and repents. Leadership is a stewardship gift given for a time and a greater purpose beyond ourselves. Choosing humility is always better than being humbled. We are accountable for our lives before God.

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Articles

Worship Depends on Spirit: Not Place and Time

by Don McMinn
written by Don McMinn

As it was in the days of Christ, so it is today: There are few true worshipers. Many believers work for God, perform Christian services, follow a disciplined ritual, but few worship God as He specifies and requires. Too many of us have been programmed to think that the worship service takes place on Sunday morning in a sanctuary. We have missed the real essence of worship. Worship is falsely associated with a certain place and time. An esthetic location may enhance our emotional involvement, but it will not ensure worship.

 

Christ teaches that worship of His spirit must take place in our spirits. Man’s spirit is the one place where he can meet God. The spirit, which involves consciousness of God and the supernatural world, consists of conscience and discernment of right and wrong (2 Cor. 2:13); intuition, which perceives knowledge without use of the soul or the five senses (John 11:33, 13:21; Mark 2:8; Acts 20:22); and the capacity of communion, worship and communication with God (John 4:23; Rom. 8:16; 1 Cor. 14:15).

 

Only when we are born again can we fellowship with Christ. It takes the redeeming work of Christ to enlighten our spirit and make it responsive to God. Even though there is nothing wrong with incorporating the body and soul into worship, all spiritual activity must emanate from the spirit.

 

Our worship of God will be no greater than our knowledge of Him. In this respect, every believer has a different capacity to worship. Some are so backslidden that they have not received any revelation from God in years. It is no wonder they cannot worship God. They do not know Him; they have not spent time with Him. On the other hand, how sweet are the hours of worship for one who has made it a lifelong quest to know God.

 

The Father still seeks true worshipers. Has His searching eye found you? Why not meet God in the quietness of your spirit and worship Him today?

 

 

 

Don McMinn, Ph.D. (with Kimberly Spring)
Executive Director of theiPlace.org

Entering His Presence: Experiencing the joy of true worship

 

 

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Articles

Prioritizing Worship

by Don McMinn
written by Don McMinn

God is concerned with our worship. It is not something He considers to be optional in our daily life and practice. In fact, the Father seeks those who will worship Him in spirit and in truth. (John 4)  I find it amazing that God would seek our worship, but just as a father desires the love of his children, so the Lord desires our worship. God created us for His pleasure (Rev. 4:11), and He paid the costliest ransom to rescue us from sin so that we might spend eternity in awesome adoration of God.

Some think that Christ came to save us from bad habits, to keep us from going to hell or to prepare for us an eternal place in heaven. While these are all true, the ultimate purpose of Christ’s death was to return us to worship.  Jesus reiterated this without hesitation in Matthew 22:36-38.  When asked which is the great commandment in the law, He answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.” (RSV)  Notice that Jesus did not say you shall serve the Lord our God – we must place worship above serving.

We do new believers a grave injustice when we immediately make workers out of them, involving them in all sorts of Christian service. First, we need to coach these believers in the art of worship, and then they can become workers. An even greater tragedy exists in the case of many saints who have been saved for years but have seldom, if ever, entered into true worship. We must be cognizant and obedient to the supreme priority God has given us. Loving the Lord by loving others is not sufficient. We must love Him directly. Having established our love for Him, we can then “feed the sheep.”

It was God who made the first move in creating us, and the second move in redeeming us. He made us as much like himself as He could. We are fashioned in His image in order that we might worship Him. As Christians, our plans are only successful to the degree that they correspond with God’s will for our life. Why not get in on His ultimate aim for mankind? Be a worshiper of God!

Don McMinn, Ph.D. (with Kimberly Spring)
Executive Director of theiPlace.org
Entering His Presence: Experiencing the joy of true worship

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