10 Essential Dating Tips

by Paul Meier

Tip #1 – Be yourself.


Nobody’s perfect, but there’s no need to change your entire personality to meet someone else’s expectations. It’s always best to be yourself. Figure out who you really are, what you like to do, what you believe in and what things are important to you. It’s much easier to figure out what kind of person you want to date, when you know what you’re looking for. Choose your partner based on values, character, and personality qualities that are most important to you.


Tip #2 – Pay attention.


Yes, the first thing you notice about someone is their appearance and whether or not they are attractive, but like your mom always says – it’s what’s on the inside that counts. So, pay attention to values. Do you both have similar beliefs? Do you have similar priorities? Do you respect the other person’s moral beliefs? Do you respect their boundaries? Do they respect yours? Do you have a common ground when it comes to drugs, alcohol and sex? If your values are out of sync, your relationship might also beout of sync. So, pay attention.


Tip #3 – Wait.


Don’t get desperate to be in a relationship. You have time – wait it out. Jumping into a relationship without knowing who a person really is can lead to big disappointment. And trying to change someone, “fix” them, or give them a “make-over” to meet your needs and expectations will only lead to a doomed relationship. So just wait.


Tip #4 – Talk it out.


Talk, talk, and then talk some more. Be open and honest. The difference between a happy couple and an unhappy one is how you disagree. If you’re having differences in your relationship, talk it out. Don’t avoid them. Don’t remain quiet. Deal with it. Just keep in mind that you won’t always see eye to eye, and that you don’t need to make a federal case out of every difference, but if something is bothering you, then you should talk it out.


Tip #5 – Expect respect.


People will treat you and talk to you the way you let them. Expect respect. If someone talks trashy to you, they will most likely treat you trashy. Respect yourself and set a standard of how you would like to be treated and spoken to. Don’t make excuses for someone who pressures you or bullies you into doing something you don’t want to do, instead confront it. Set your boundaries when it comes to language, behaviors, drugs, alcohol, and sex. Be willing to walk away from a relationship that violates your self-respect.


Tip #6 – Break it down.


Problems – they stink and all relationships have them. But ignoring them and hoping they will go away doesn’t work. Nagging at someone for the 100th time, hoping that they’ll get it on the 101st time, doesn’t work either. Argue smarter not harder. Focus on one thing you would like to be different, then break it down. Tell the person, “Hey, I would like it if you came to the door to pick me up, then honk your horn and wait for me to come out.” The key is to be very specific and very brief. The more specific you are, the less chance there is for any misunderstandings.


Tip #7 – Watch the attitude.


You know the whole talking thing is going to end up a big mess when the first thing you do is roll your eyes and say “I knew you were going to do that.” Nothing starts an argument faster than having a bad attitude. Yes, we’re all human and sometimes you can’t help but have a bad attitude…you woke up on the wrong side of the bed or you failed the most important test of your life. But other times you might just be being a brat…you didn’t get what you expected or your pride is getting in your way. Are you giving them a fair chance to be themselves or are you annoyed because they didn’t do what you expected? Are you being nice or do you just want to do what you want to do regardless of anybody else’s feelings? So before you talk to your other half, watch the attitude.


Tip #8 – Say you’re sorry.


He hurt your feelings and she made you mad and you haven’t spoken to each other for what seems like an eternity. Now what? Repeat after me…“I’m sorry, please forgive me,” and “How can we make this better?” And when someone offers you an apology you say “I forgive you, let’s make this better.” Don’t play blame games and don’t try to punish the other person by intentionally waiting forever to speak to them. Just get it over with as soon as possible. Say you’re sorry when you hurt someone and be forgiving because nobody’s perfect.


Tip #9 – Get a life.


Ok, we get it, you really like each other. Now please get a life. You don’t need to spend every waking moment together. Spend time away from one another. Ladies – go shopping with your friends without him. Guys – go play basketball with your friends without her. Smothering each other every minute of the day will set unreasonable expectations on the other to entertain you, excite you, soothe you, and complete you–this will drain you and make you very unhappy. The most important thing you can bring to a relationship is a life – so go get one.


Tip #10 – Have fun.


Try something different and have fun. Do adventure sports, games, and time with friends. Keeping adventure in a relationship allows you to see how your boyfriend/girlfriend handles challenges and overcomes obstacles.Try not to text constantly. You need to show eye contact, listen and be empathetic with the other person. Think outside the box. Having fun in a relationship keeps you happy, and being happy makes you healthy. If you and your boyfriend/girlfriend are happy, there’s a greater chance you will have a healthier relationship.


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