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Message 3 – Encountering God’s Promise
SUGGESTED PASSAGE: Genesis 22:1-18
Now it came about after these things, that God tested Abraham, and said to him, “Abraham!” And he said, “Here I am.” He said, “Take now your son, your only son, whom you love, Isaac, and go to the land of Moriah, and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains of which I will tell you.” So Abraham rose early in the morning and saddled his donkey, and took two of his young men with him and Isaac his son; and he split wood for the burnt offering, and arose and went to the place of which God had told him. On the third day Abraham raised his eyes and saw the place from a distance. Abraham said to his young men, “Stay here with the donkey, and I and the lad will go over there; and we will worship and return to you.” Abraham took the wood of the burnt offering and laid it on Isaac his son, and he took in his hand the fire and the knife. So the two of them walked on together. Isaac spoke to Abraham his father and said, “My father!” And he said, “Here I am, my son.” And he said, “Behold, the fire and the wood, but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?” Abraham said, “God will provide for Himself the lamb for the burnt offering, my son.” So the two of them walked on together.
Then they came to the place of which God had told him; and Abraham built the altar there and arranged the wood, and bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood. Abraham stretched out his hand and took the knife to slay his son. 11 But the angel of the Lord called to him from heaven and said, “Abraham, Abraham!” And he said, “Here I am.” He said, “Do not stretch out your hand against the lad, and do nothing to him; for now I know that you fear God, since you have not withheld your son, your only son, from Me.” Then Abraham raised his eyes and looked, and behold, behind him a ram caught in the thicket by his horns; and Abraham went and took the ram and offered him up for a burnt offering in the place of his son. Abraham called the name of that place The Lord Will Provide, as it is said to this day, “In the mount of the Lord it will be provided.”
Then the angel of the Lord called to Abraham a second time from heaven, and said, “By Myself I have sworn, declares the Lord, because you have done this thing and have not withheld your son, your only son, indeed I will greatly bless you, and I will greatly multiply your seed as the stars of the heavens and as the sand which is on the seashore; and your seed shall possess the gate of their enemies. In your seed all the nations of the earth shall be blessed, because you have obeyed My voice.” So Abraham returned to his young men, and they arose and went together to Beersheba; and Abraham lived at Beersheba.
MESSAGE GOAL:
The goal of this message on Encountering God’s Promise is to help you experience an authentic encounter with God and His promises through the tests of life He puts you through.
INTRODUCTION:
If the truth be told, there are times in our Christian experience when we don’t feel like God keeps His promises. There are times when it looks like God said one thing and the opposite is taking place. It is during those times when all of us, to varying degrees, question how real this thing is. When it comes to God’s promises, we know He can’t lie, but sometimes you lied to you because what He says and what you are seeing do not match. Sometimes it looks like God is bailing out on us. It’s like the pilot of a small plane that began having engine problems. There was only one parachute on the plane. So, the pilot put it on, and before he jumped out of the plans he said to his passengers, “Don’t panic. I’m just going to get some help!” Sometimes it seems like the one in charge has bailed out on you and on His promises. I want to take you today to a passage of Scripture that is going to stretch you if you’re not familiar with it. And even if you are, it’s going to perhaps take you to a place of deeper understanding God and His seemingly confusing promises to you.
SERMON POINTS:
1. WHEN GOD WANTS TO GIVE YOU AN ENCOUNTER WITH HIMSELF, IT WILL TYPICALLY INVOLVE A TEST.
• God wants to know if what you “Amened” on Sunday is real in your life on Monday, because He wants to see and hear more than your raised hands and words.
• Tests come in many shapes and sizes, and they are often related to a promise, to find out if you will put your faith in God’s promises into action.
2. YOUR TEST WILL OFTEN INVOLVE A SCENARIO THAT IS CONTRADICTORY—THAT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE.
• God may be asking you to do something that seems to go against everything that seems right and normal to you, and everything in you is fighting against obeying Him.
• When God calls you to do something you don’t want to do, go ahead and do it because the longer you delay your obedience, the more often you have to take the same test.
• We often give God partial obedience and then wonder why He hasn’t done anything for us.
• To experience a truly life-changing encounter with God, you have to finish what He told you to do in your test because God believes in re-testing when necessary!
• When God’s test doesn’t make sense, you need a bigger view of God and what He wants to do in your life.
• One way to get this bigger view is to remember what God did for you yesterday as you deal with the new test He is sending you today.
3. THE REASON GOD PUTS YOU IN A TRIAL THAT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE IS THAT HE WANTS TO FEEL YOUR LOVE, NOT JUST HEAR YOU TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU LOVE HIM.
• God feels your love for Him when, in obedience, you choose Him over something or somebody you already love, as Abraham did.
• You will see the resolution of your test and see God’s promise come to fruition when your obedience occurs.
• The Lord is called Jehovah Jireh in Genesis 22:14, meaning “The Lord who provides.” But before God provides, He wants to see our obedience.
• If you don’t give God something to see, you may not see what He can provide.
4. GOD’S PROMISES ARE CONFIRMED BY HIS OATH.
• It’s important to understand that there is often a lapse of time between the giving of God’s promise and its fulfillment.
• This time gap occurs because God is getting His promise ready for you, and getting you ready for His promise.
• You have a part to play in how long this preparation period lasts, based on your obedience.
• God is a promise-keeper, not a promise-breaker, and when He makes an oath, He has the power to pull off the promise all by Himself.
• It is not for you to try and understand how God is going to keep His promise. All you’ve got to do is finish your obedience until He is ready to take it over Himself.
5. ABRAHAM’S STORY IS IN SCRIPTURE BECAUSE GOD WANTS TO USE SOMETHING TODAY BASED ON THE PRINCIPLE HE HAS TAUGHT US FROM YESTERDAY.
• God uses tests to bring about His promises through His oath.
• You need to make sure you are passing God’s test so you can see God’s promises fulfilled in your life.
SERMON ILLUSTRATIONS:
QUIZZES AND BIG TESTS
When we were in school, the teacher did not take our word for it that we understood what was being taught. Instead, the teacher gave you tests to see if you really got the material. Those tests usually came in two forms. One would be a quiz, or maybe a pop quiz. Those were small tests along the way. But then there were the big tests—the mid-term and the final. Those big tests usually counted the most toward your final grade. Genesis 22 was one of the big tests for Abraham.
PUT A FORK IN IT
Good cooks know that a turkey or a roast in the oven can look brown on the outside. But you can’t take that as gospel because the meat may still be partially uncooked on the inside. So the cook sticks a fork in the dish because the cook knows it can look good externally and still be raw inside. God knows His people can look good externally on Sunday morning, but He has to stick the fork of a test in there to see if we’re well-done and ready to go.
BACKGROUND BIBLICAL HISTORY AND CULTURE:
The place where Abraham offered Isaac is called Mount Moriah, which is the temple mount in Jerusalem where the two temples of Israel were built and where the Muslim Dome of the Rock stands today. The temple mount is the most sacred site in Judaism, and Muslims consider it holy too because the Qur’an teaches that Abraham offered Ishmael there, not Isaac.
QUOTES BY DR. TONY EVANS:
“Everybody feels like going to church when you’re blessed. Everybody feels like worshiping God when God is meeting all your needs, and He’s going to take care of everything. The money is flowing, the health is good and life is working. Then you want to worship. But how do you worship when your world is falling apart?”
“When God puts you in a contradiction, you can’t explain how it’s going to work out. When God wants you to give you an encounter with Himself, all you can say is, ‘I don’t know what to do.’ God has to provide something. God has to come through with something.”
“Many of us could be delaying seeing the provision of the ram, the solution to our test, because we are delaying fulfilling our obedience.”
The day had arrived. It was beyond sad. It was solemn, and it was heavy. Without hesitation we were there to support, to console, and to be present. In what seemed like a dream, we were getting ready to speak at the funeral of our dear friend who had just lost her battle to cancer. She had just rounded the corner past 25 years old, and was in every other way a healthy beautiful young lady. But, her life on this earth was over. She was surrounded by her husband who served her until she drew her last breath, she was nurtured and cared for by parents whose baby girl passed before their very eyes, and she was loved and admired by so many friends and family for not only the life she lived, but the strength exhibited in the way she died.
This dear friend was a Christian. She loved Jesus, and she served others. She wasn’t ostentatious, and she wasn’t callous or judgmental. She displayed dignity and compassion. Always quick to listen and slow to speak, she was endearing and she carried herself with class. You wanted to be around her, because she was characterized by joy. Her life exuded joy, and she displayed it until her Lord called her home. And it was into this untimely and tragic situation that her mom, whose name is Joy, has wisdom for us today.
When Joy–months after her daughter’s passing–had others praying for her to have a “better year”, she responds by saying, “A better year? You cannot give me a better year. This was the best year of my life.”
How can a mom–who stared down and continues to stare down the reality that her baby girl is gone–say that? This is almost too much to bear, but it is nevertheless the resolve of this mother when considering the loss of her daughter’s life on this earth.
1. “Joy” is a noun that is here preceded by the adjective “all”. Thus, implying an un-mixed or unsoiled-ness to experiencing joy. But, the word is also preceded by another word, consider. Which means to think. In other words, while this joy is certainly an unmixed experience of gratefulness, it is also something that you set your mind to. It’s a conscientious choice that–after the evaluation of your circumstances–you choose to live in this unmixed joy. Hence, Joy’s resolve for joy as she considers her daughter’s life and death.
2. “Trials” are not if, but when. The reality of our world–riddled with sin–is that we face trials of varying proportions and causes everyday. To prove this, James places the preceding word, various, before trials, which essential means manifold. In other words, the trials that are faced are not going to be the same. It’s as if we live in a world that has built-in and diverse challenges to face.
3. Thus, we are needy. We are vulnerable. And we are unable to do this alone. And so, it was into this manifold trial-filled world that God sent His Son. It was into this world that we have One who overcame sin and death, and therefore promises those who love Him that their death won’t be the final say about their life. No, no, Joy–the mother to the dear lady who passed–knows that her daughter may not be here in person, but she lives on in her (and many other minds), and that her daughter simply passed from life to life. Joy knows that she will be reunited with her daughter because of Christ; and so, she chooses–considers it all–joy.
Glory, because of Christ there can be joy. We can have true joy beyond, outside of, and above our circumstances. Glory.
What is the personal benefit to choosing joy amidst trials?
Ultimately, trials are an inevitability of what it means to live in a broken world made up of broken people. But God, in His wisdom allows trials to be the filter through which He cultivates joy in the life of His followers. Not merely for the sake of the struggle, but instead what the struggle produces.
Consider for a moment your own life. Consider the trials and struggles you have endured. Certainly, there are elements of the struggle(s) that you would eliminate, but can you nevertheless agree that it was through struggles that something good was produced in you or in those around you? Maybe you’ve said, “I’m glad I went through that, because it produced _____, but I sure wouldn’t want to endure it again.”? There are many things in my life I wouldn’t want to endure again, but I can say that those things certainly changed me–for the better.
And so, after James instructs followers of Christ to consider their struggles with joy, he then goes on to help us understand why they should do just that…
“…Knowing that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.”
In so many words, James reveals that the trials are a testing ground of faith. It is where the rubber meets the road. Life–for the Christian–is not about the milk toast, but instead about the struggles that test one’s faith for the production of something. That something that is produced–James says–is endurance.
The word endurance means literally to bear under. In other words, “the capacity to hold out or bear up in the face of difficulty” (BDAG, 1039). What James is instructing the follower of Christ is that the reason you should consider your various trials with joy is because the trials produce the ability to bear up in difficulties. In other words, it is through the trial that the strength is given to remain faithful.
How Does This Apply To Us Today?
1. It is through the trial(s) that God grows the faith of His followers–the stick-to-it-ness of His people.
2. Jesus endured to give us grace to endure. This grace is His free gift extended to a broken humanity to be received by us in faith. In other words, a follower of Christ is one who looks to Christ in the midst of his trials as the answer to their questions of “why me, why us, why now, etc.“. Christ’s endurance is not only an example to follow, but the means of grace through which to lay hold of and believe it is available to His followers even today. “The grace of God has appeared…” Titus 2:11.
Dear Roger,
I see temptations, trials, and testing in the Bible. Are they different? How does God use them in our lives?
Sincerely, Mike
Dear Mike,
Solve the following puzzle:
You are running away from home. You make three left turns and return home. Who are the two masked men standing there?
(The answer is below. Give it your best shot, and then come on back here.)
My point is, when taking tests, we need to pay attention. It’s easy to get distracted and miss the obvious.
It’s the same thing when we deal with God in the areas of temptations, trials, and tests. We don’t want to get distracted. Too much is at stake!
By the way, if you said “the catcher and the umpire,” you would be correct.
TEMPTATIONS
Let’s start with temptations. The purpose of temptation is to bring out the worst in us … and for us to learn to overcome. Fortunately, God is our partner; He promises to bring us victory in the midst of our temptations — if we so choose.
“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” (1 Corinthians 10:13)
How we handle our temptations is a good indicator of our level of spiritual development. And it helps to come up with a plan…
James penned some good words for us.
“When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.” (James 1:13-14)
For example, I’m thinking of how many men struggle with lust. I found that a good coping mechanism when we are tempted to lust after a beautiful woman is to immediately pray for her rather than lust for her.
Remember, we cannot keep the birds from flying overhead; but, we certainly can keep them from nesting in our hair.
James penned some good words for us.
“When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.” (James 1:13-14)
TRIALS
The purpose of trials is to refine our lives and leave us with a purer, stronger faith, as well as a character that God can bless and use.
“These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed”. (1 Peter 1:7)
The result of trials is that, over time, we begin to look more and more like Jesus.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son.” (Romans 8:28-29)
Trials are painful and difficult by nature. But how we handle them makes all the difference.
We live in a fallen, broken world where hurricanes come, earthquakes occur. God is credited for things with which he had nothing to do. Insurance companies call these things, “Acts of God.”
Sometimes things just happen in the natural order of events. Jesus said that “The rain falls on the just and the unjust alike.”
Trials can come from our own mistakes and errors.
Through neglect, inattention, and selfishness King David ruined his entire family. He had at least seven marriages and destroyed them all. He ruined every child he ever had – they struggled with neglect, incest, murder, rape and rebellion.
Tragically, it was his fault!
David failed to handle his trials with character and strength. But don’t forget, God still called him “the man after His own heart.” God still loved him dearly.
I was speaking at summer camp on how God designs—or allows—trials for the purpose of making us like Jesus.
In the tabernacle after one of the services, a woman was weeping. Her husband said to me, “She is angry at everything you are saying.”
Finally, she opened up enough to tell me her story. She accidentally backed her car over her three-year-old daughter. Her daughter died in her arms with a crushed chest in less than three minutes. Her last words were, “Mommy, why did you do this?”
She glared at me. Are you telling me that “God is sufficient for this? Are you trying to tell me God let this happen on purpose?”
I wanted to say, “But, this wasn’t God’s doing, you did it.” But, of course, I didn’t say that. I wanted to say, “As tragic as this is, Jesus can even use this to mature you to look more like Him.”
I didn’t say any of that. This was not the time for a theological discussion. So, I did my best to comfort her in her trial.
Paul’s thorn—his greatest trial—originated with Satan. Three times he begged God for relief; unfortunately, God said, “No.”
Why? God told Paul that his trials were meant to keep him humble.
Hebrews 12 reveals the proper response to trials (three don’ts and one do):
Don’t get bitter;
Don’t get angry at God;
Don’t lose heart;
Do submit to God’s will, remember His love, and live.
Consider Peter. He began his journey with Jesus as a fisherman. He denied Jesus three times. Then when Jesus told him to wait in Jerusalem, instead he went back to fishing. But as he grew and matured in Christ—fighting through his trials—he developed into the shepherd of God’s church (John 21).
TESTS
God is the source of all tests.
Nevertheless, please note that tests and trials may look a lot alike.
The purpose of a test is so that both we and God learn whether or not we can assimilate and apply the lessons of living a godly life.
When God said, “Go sacrifice your son,” it was not the first time Abraham’s faith was tested. God didn’t begin with “Go slay your boy”. He started with, “Why don’t you find a new house” and built from there.
The home test: “Go to a land that I will show you.” Passed.
The famine test: Abraham arrived in the in Promised Land during a famine. Instead of staying there, he panicked and went to Egypt: Failed.
The flock test: Abraham offered the best pasture to his nephew, Lot. God honored his decision. Passed.
The fortune test: The king of Sodom offered to make Abraham rich. He rejected the offer:. Passed.
The family test: Abraham tried to fulfill God’s promise of descendants in his own earthly way, leading to tragic problems among Sarah, Hagar, and Ishmael. Failed.
The Isaac test: Go sacrifice your son Isaac. Isaac was no child; he was most likely early in his twenties.
Imagine the pain Abraham endured. On the way to Mount Moriah, Isaac asked his dad, “We have the wood, fire, and the knife. Where is the lamb?”
What carried Abraham through this test? He’d learned that faith in God’s promise mattered. He trusted God that in Isaac he would have many descendants. Abraham was planning on a resurrection.
Hebrews 11:19 tells us: “He calculated that God could bring life out of death.”
When Abraham raised the knife, he passed the test.
God provided a ram and foreshadowed Jesus the lamb dying in our place on the cross.
Look at your life. You’ll recognize all sorts of interactive tests where God is evaluating how well you are growing to maturity in Christ.
Are you responding to tests by learning the teachings of the Scriptures and the promptings of the Holy Spirit?
The ultimate test: Will you follow Christ at any price?
Mike, I hope this answer is helpful to you.
Sincerely, Roger
When I was diagnosed with cancer, the question “Why me?” was a natural one. Later, when I survived but others with the same kind of cancer died, I also had to ask, “Why me?”
Suffering and death seem random, senseless. The recent Aurora shootings—in which some people were spared and others lost—is the latest, vivid example of this, but there are plenty of others every day: from casualties in the Syria uprising to victims of accidents on American roads. Tsunamis, tornadoes, household accidents—the list is long. As a minister, I’ve spent countless hours with suffering people crying: “Why did God let this happen?” In general I hear four answers to this question—but each is wrong, or at least inadequate.
The first answer is, “This makes no sense—I guess this proves there is no God.” But the problem of senseless suffering does not go away if you abandon belief in God. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., in his Letter from Birmingham Jail, said that if there was no higher divine Law, there would be no way to tell if any particular human law was unjust or not. If there is no God, then why have a sense of outrage and horror when suffering and tragedy occur? The strong eat the weak—that’s life—so why not? When Friedrich Nietzsche heard that a natural disaster had destroyed Java in 1883, he wrote a friend: “Two hundred thousand wiped out at a stroke—how magnificent!” Nietzsche was relentless in his logic. Because if there is no God, all value judgments are arbitrary. All definitions of justice are just the results of your culture or temperament. As different as they were in other ways, King and Nietzsche agreed on this point. If there is no God or higher divine Law, then violence is perfectly natural. So abandoning belief in God doesn’t help with the problem of suffering at all, and as we will see, it removes many resources for facing it.
The second answer is, “If there is a God, senseless suffering proves that God is not completely in control of everything. He couldn’t stop this.” As many thinkers have pointed out—both devout believers as well as atheists—such a being, whatever it is, doesn’t really fit our definition of God. And this leaves you with the same problems mentioned above. If you don’t believe in a God powerful enough to create and sustain the whole world, then the world came about through natural forces, and that means, again, that violence is natural. Or if you think that God is an impersonal life force and this whole material world is just an illusion, again you remove any reason to be outraged at evil and suffering or to resist it.
The third answer to seemingly sudden, random death is, “God saves some people and lets others die because he favors and rewards good people.” But the Bible forcefully rejects the idea that people who suffer more are worse people than those who are spared suffering. This was the self-righteous premise of Job’s friends in that great Old Testament book. They sat around Job, who was experiencing one sorrow in life after another, and said, “the reason this is happening to you and not us is because we are living right and you are not.” At the end of the book, God expresses his fury at Job’s “miserable comforters.” The world is too fallen and deeply broken to issue in neat patterns of good people having good lives and bad people having bad lives.
The fourth answer is, “God knows what he’s doing, so be quiet and trust him.” This is partly right, but inadequate. It is inadequate because it is cold and because the Bible gives us more with which to face the terrors of life.
God did not create a world with death and evil in it. It is the result of humankind turning away from him. We were put into this world to live wholly for him, and when instead we began to live for ourselves everything in our created reality began to fall apart—physically, socially, and spiritually. Everything became subject to decay. But God did not abandon us. Of all the world’s major religions, only Christianity teaches that God came to earth (in Jesus Christ) and became subject to suffering and death himself—dying on the Cross to take the punishment our sins deserved—so that some day he can return to earth to end all suffering without ending us.
Do you see what this means? Yes, we don’t know the reason God allows evil and suffering to continue, or why it is so random, but now at least we know what the reason isn’t—what it can’t be. It can’t be that he doesn’t love us! It can’t be that he doesn’t care. He is so committed to our ultimate happiness that he was willing to plunge into the greatest depths of suffering himself.
He understands us, he’s been there, and he assures us that he has a plan to eventually to wipe away every tear, to make “everything sad come untrue,” as J.R.R. Tolkien put it at the end of his Christian allegory The Lord of the Rings.
Someone might say, “But that’s only half an answer to the question ‘Why?'” Yes, but it is the half that we need.
If God actually explained all the reasons why he allows things to happen as they do, it would be too much for our finite brains. Think of small children and their relationship to their parents. Three-year-olds can’t understand most of what their parents allow and disallow for them. But though they aren’t capable of comprehending their parents’ reasons, they are capable of knowing their parents’ love, and therefore capable of trusting them and living securely. That is what they really need. Now the difference between God and human beings would be infinitely greater than the difference between a thirty-year-old parent and a three-year-old child. So we should not expect to be able to grasp all God’s purposes, but through the Cross and gospel of Jesus Christ, we can know his love. And that is what we need most.
In Ann Voskamp’s book One Thousand Gifts, she shares her journey to understand the senseless death of her sister, crushed by a truck at the age of two. In the end, she concludes that the primary issue is whether we trust God’s character. Is he really loving? Is he really just? Her conclusion:
“[God] gave us Jesus… If God didn’t withhold from us His very own Son, will God withhold anything we need? If trust must be earned, hasn’t God unequivocally earned our trust with the bark on the raw wounds, the thorns pressed into the brow, your name on the cracked lips? How will he not also graciously give us all things He deems best and right? He’s already given the incomprehensible.”
www.timothykeller.com.
Paul writes in Ephesians 4:26: “In your anger do not sin” Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,” James says, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”
Anger is a part of our human nature, but it can be toxic. Often, we do not realize that we are truly angry. God would have us to identify our angry feelings, confess them as sin and move from anger to forgiveness. How do you know if you are angry? Dr. Ted Roberts created a test to help you identify those feelings and process them in a godly way:
ANGER TEST
Please take some time to evaluate your reactions and responses for situations that may result in
anger. Is each statement true or false for you? Circle your answers.
T F 1. I concern myself with others’ opinions of me more than I would like to admit.
T F 2. It is not unusual for me to have a restless feeling on the inside.
T F 3. I have had relationships with others that could be described as stormy or unstable.
T F 4. It seems like I end up helping others more than they help me.
T F 5. I sometimes wonder how much my friends or family members accept me.
T F 6. At times, I seem to have an unusual amount of guilt even though it seems unnecessary.
T F 7. At times, I prefer to get away rather than being around people.
T F 8. I realize I don’t like to admit to myself how angry I feel.
T F 9. Sometimes I use humor to avoid facing my feelings or to keep others from knowing how I really feel.
T F 10. I have a problem with thinking too many critical thoughts.
T F 11. Sometimes I can use criticism in a biting way.
T F 12. I have known moments of great tension and stress.
T F 13. Sometimes when I feel angry, I find myself doing things I know are wrong.
T F 14. I like having times when no one knows what I am doing.
T F 15. I usually don’t tell people when I feel hurt.
T F 16. At times, I wish I had more friends.
T F 17. I find myself having many body aches and pains.
T F 18. I had trouble in the past relating to members of the opposite sex.
T F 19. Criticism bothers me a great deal.
T F 20. I desire acceptance from others but fear rejection.
T F 21. I worry a lot about my relationships with others.
T F 22. I believe I am somewhat socially withdrawn.
T F 23. I believe I am overly sensitive to rejection.
T F 24. I find myself preoccupied with my personal goals for success.
T F 25. I have often felt inferior to others.
T F 26. Often I say “yes” and am upset at myself for not saying “no.”
T F 27. Even though I don’t like it, there are times when I wear a mask in social settings.
T F 28. I don’t seem to have the emotional support I would like from my family and friends.
T F 29. I would like to tell people exactly what I think.
T F 30. My concentration sometimes seems poor.
T F 31. I have had sleep patterns that do not seem normal.
T F 32. I worry about financial matters.
T F 33. There are times I feel inadequate in the way I handle personal relationships.
T F 34. My conscience bothers me about things I have done in the past.
T F 35. Sometimes it seems my religious life is more of a burden than a help.
T F 36. There are times that I would like to run away from home.
T F 37. I have had too many quarrels or disagreements with members of my family.
T F 38. I have been disillusioned with love.
T F 39. Sometimes I have difficulty controlling my weight, whether gaining or losing too much.
T F 40. At times, I feel that life owes me more than it has given me.
T F 41. I have a challenge controlling sexual fantasies.
T F 42. To be honest, I prefer to find someone else to blame my problems on.
T F 43. My greatest struggles are within myself.
T F 44. Other people find more fault with me than they really should.
T F 45. Many of the nice things I do are done out of a sense of obligation.
T F 46. Many mornings I wake up not feeling refreshed.
T F 47. I find myself saying things that I shouldn’t have said.
T F 48. It is not unusual for me to forget someone’s name after I have just met them.
T F 49. It is difficult for me to motivate myself to do things that don’t need to be done.
T F 50. My decisions are often governed by my feelings.
T F 51. When something irritates me I find it hard to calm down quickly.
T F 52. I would rather stay at home and isolate than be with other women socially.
T F 53. I would rather watch a good sporting event than spend a quiet evening at home.
T F 54. I am hesitant for people to give me suggestions even though they are good.
T F 55. I tend to speak out whether someone wants to know my opinions or not.
T F 56. I would rather entertain guests in my own home than be entertained by them.
T F 57. When people are being unreasonable, I tend to take a strong dislike to them.
T F 58. I am a fairly strict person, liking things to be done in a particular way.
T F 59. I consider myself to be possessive in my personal relationships.
T F 60. Sometimes I could be described as moody.
GUIDE TO THE ANGER TEST
How many of the 60 statements did you mark True? ________
What your score indicates (your total number of statements marked True ) about you and anger:
1-15 Extremely healed or in denial
15-30 Normal range
30-40 Needs or circumstances are pressing
40+ Needs help through counseling for trauma or specific issues
It is not unusual for women going through a Betrayal & Beyond group to score 30 and above, depending
upon the level of trauma they have experienced through their betrayal. Other areas of hurt and trauma
of the past that haven’t been processed can also cause a higher score.
The numbers below reflect statements that deal with boundary issues . They indicate times when you
might be overreacting or underreacting to situation.
4 6 7 11 13 15 18 26 29 33 33 38 45 47 50 56 58
How many of the 16 boundary statements did you mark True? ________
The numbers below reflect statements that deal with self-esteem issues . Unresolved hurts from the
past can create insecure responses in the present.
1 5 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 27 43 53 54
How many of the 13 self-esteem statements did you mark True? ________
Circumstances.
You face them every day, you are always reacting to them–positively or negatively.
Think about it. What situations in your life do you wish would change right now?
A different work environment that doesn’t suck the life out of you
Better health
A happier marriage
A closer connection with God
A more understanding boss
Less pressure
I mean, I get that. Few of us look over our life and pronounce things perfect.
I can let circumstances get into my head way too easily. It doesn’t even have to be anything serious to upset me. I can let the weather bother me, loud talkers in public places get under my skin or simply the fact that I feel like my to-do list is too long. Good luck to me if God ever wanted to truly test my character.
So far this year, both in my reading (I reread the classic 7 Habits of Highly Effective Leaders this year) and on numerous podcast interviews, I keep running into a recurring theme: that effective leaders handle circumstances differently than ineffective leaders do.
What’s the difference?
There are at least three deeply significant differences. If you want to imitate the great leaders when you face challenging situations, do these three things.
1.Refuse To Let Your Circumstances Define You
Far too often, we look to our circumstances to determine what’s going to happen next.
Today (and every day), you will be tempted to let your circumstances define you.
It shows up innocently enough:
Well, I can’t because…
That’s awesome for them but you need to understand my situation…
I’d love a chance at that, and yet…
I was going to do it but…
Well sure I would have more success if X wouldn’t be true…
I used to believe that was possible…
So what’s the critical mistake you and I will make over and over again unless we see it and address it?
You’ll let your circumstances define you. And….
If you let your circumstances define you, they’ll defeat you.
They will defeat you. I promise.
In fact, your circumstances will generate an excuse factory in your mind which will produce a thousand reasons why you can’t make the progress you were hoping to make.
They will convince you that you can’t change, that you can’t solve the problems you’re facing, that you need to surrender to an inevitable fatalism.
Let that happen, and you will lead more poorly. You will live more poorly.
If you let your circumstances define you, they will defeat you.
2. Stop Blaming God For The Obstacle. See The Opportunity.
The story of God’s people is always a story of God’s hope prevailing amidst tough situations.
The only time circumstances were close to ideal was in the Garden of Eden, and somehow we managed to mess that up.
Otherwise, God has chosen to use:
Dysfunctional families (have you read the story of Joseph??)
Enslaved peoples
A stammering prophet (Moses) who had to go up against the world’s most powerful king
Lion’s dens
Burning furnaces
Whales who love to eat humans
Death on a cross
Prisons and persecution
I always think if I was in one of those circumstances, I would wave a white flag and conclude God had abandoned me.
Which is exactly why you should never let your situation define you.
In each of these cases, God was writing a story that was bigger than any and all of it.
And leaders who realize that truth manage to transcend their circumstances to move into a better tomorrow.
Try to think of a great leader in biblical history or history as a whole whose legacy was a product of their situation.
That’s right. You can’t.
Because none of the great leaders we admire were made by their circumstances. They refused to let their situation define them. Instead, they overcame them.
They stopped blaming God for the obstacle. Instead, they trusted God for the opportunity. That’s what makes for greatness.
3. Don’t Let Success Seduce You
Of course, you know circumstances don’t always work against you.
Sometimes everything’s going your way. Some of you are in that situation right now. You can’t imagine things lining up better in your favour.
Which is exactly why you should still never let your circumstances define you. Because they will still defeat you.
Here’s how.
You will stop working hard. You’ll stop dreaming about the future. You will even be tempted to let your present momentum carry for forward indefinitely.
And it will carry you, for a season. And then things will grind to a halt.
Just ask any company that has to reinvent itself after a decade on top. Ask any happily married couple that hit cruise control only to discover they started drifting toward the ditch.
When you stop working on it and let circumstances define you, those same circumstances will eventually defeat you.
In fact, you will realize what every leader sliding down the far side of a success curve realizes:
The greatest enemy of your future success is your current success.
If you don’t constantly fight against your circumstances and seek to transcend them, they will defeat you. Even the good circumstances.
What do you do if all your dreams come true? Ask God for bigger dreams.
So What Circumstances Do You Need To Fight Against Today?
Well–the short answer is, all of them. At least at some level.
That’s why leaders are never content with the status quo. Progress requires we kick hard against the status quo, trusting all the while that if we follow hard after God and his truth, we will find a better tomorrow.
So how would you characterize your circumstances?
What do you hate (or love) right now that you can surrender into the arms of a loving and all-powerful God?
You will lead better.
You will live better.
And your circumstances will no longer define you or defeat you.
What are you learning about circumstances?
careynieuwhof.com Used by permission.
You can beat temptation. Satan’s tests us to meet our needs in an illegitimate way, to use power for personal gain, and to de-throne the Lord of our lives. From Eve to Christ we see Satan’s battle plan. He is a defeated foe.
Preached at Fellowship Church. From www.creativepastors.com. Used by permission.
We are carry an internal tension that’s associated with our appetites. We struggle desperately because we all want MORE. When we talk about our appetites, we immediately think about food or hunger, but there are a lot of different human appetites. There’s food and sex and….I’m sure there are a lot more! For me, I’m just looking through the lens of a guy because that’s all I’ve really been, but for you ladies who a trying to figure men out, they only have three appetites: food, sex and sleep. Just kidding. God has designed us in such a way that we are really just a big bundle of appetites and desires. And appetites also include security, an appetite for love, an appetite to be respected, to be cherished, to feel successful…All these things God designed us with, but each one of our appetites creates tension. The reason you feel tension in your life, is because one or more of your appetites are clamoring for MORE.
When it comes to leadership-whether it’s in a non-profit business, a for-profit business, a church or whatever it is, I believe that there are some appetites that are heightened beyond the average person. I want to discuss the tensions that you will always have to manage as a leader.
- All of us in leadership have an appetite for progress. We want to see our churches or companies move forward.
- We have an appetite for greater responsibility. You probably wish you had more responsibility, but here’s the interesting thing. Every time you get more responsibility in your organization, what do you want? MORE!
- We want respect-recognition for what we’ve accomplished.
- We want to win. Now, we don’t like the sound of that word in ministry because it sounds so non-godly and non-spiritual, but you know what? No matter who you are, there’s something in you that wants to win! Every year Outreach Magazine publishes a list of the fastest growing churches in America. Here’s what happens in our office. The magazine sits on the desk of my assistant’s office, and I pretend like I don’t want to pick it up. How silly! Who cares about who has the biggest church? I mean, God doesn’t care about who has the biggest church…We know that big churches depend on where you are located, how long you’ve been there, whether your father is a famous televangelist like mine. Many people ask me how I do what I do. I always say, step one is to be born into the family of a famous televangelist. Every time I get invited somewhere, they think it’s him. I show up somewhere and they say, “Wow, it’s you?” Now we all think this stuff is kind of silly, so I walk back and forth in front of the church growth magazine and I’m not going to let someone know how much I want to pick it up. But do you think I want to know if we are on the list? Of course I do! If you are a leader, don’t be fooled. You want to win! No matter how many times you win, guess what you want? MORE. We want to grow. We want to be famous. (We don’t talk about that out loud.) If someone says they read your article or heard you speak-you may appear humble on the outside, but you go home and gloat.
- Pastor Rick Warren talked about the appetite to be envied. Guys, isn’t that why we buy the cars we choose to buy? We drive around cars we can’t even see because we are inside of them. Have you ever thought about that? You can’t even see your car driving down the road. You’re inside of it.
But here’s the amazing truth. I think all of this is part of the imago dei-the way in which God made us.
- God created our desires and sin distorted them. Winning, progress, responsibility are all created by God. Think about it. Man is in the Garden of Eden and God said “This is your job-run the WHOLE WORLD.”
- Appetites are never fully and finally satisfied. EVER. This is an internal tension that never goes away. No matter how big your student ministry is, whether you got recognized by your denomination, or your pastor gave you a trophy. Three days later, that award is in the rear view mirror and you want MORE. How many times have you finished a meal and you say “I can’t eat another thing.” Three hours later-the refrigerator is calling your name and guys say, “Duh, Food!” We somehow think there is someone out there, some reward, some recognition that will finally fulfill our appetites. Often we will spend our lives making really poor leadership decisions trying to find the “golden ring” and give a relaxing sigh, “Ah!” “ My church is big enough! My ministry is big enough! I’ve written enough books.” “ I have a cool enough car. My children are perfect enough.” None of your appetites are fully and finally satisfied.” Leaders, there is always, always, always tension in this area.
- Your appetites always whisper, “Now!” Never “Later.”
Your response to these appetites, your ability or inability to manage your unquenchable urges and to say “I can’t let them rule my life” determines your success and your spirituality. Your response to that truth will determine your direction of your ministry, your family and your life. Do you know how that’s true? You simply look at your parents. Some of your parents wrecked their lives over an appetite that they thought could be fully and finally satisfied. Some of your parents have ended well because they were able to tame and manage this tension and they knew there was not someone or something out there that would bring the big “Ahhhh…I’m done!”
I can’t name many people serving God who lost their ministry over bad theology. But we could compile an endless list of men and women who have lost their ministry, lost their churches or families because of their inability to manage the tension of a longing that says, “I want more.”
If you don’t get this right, it doesn’t really matter if you get the rest right. If you are ruled and controlled and deceived by the little voice that says, “More.” If you could just get a little more, have a little more, grow a little more…somehow you are going to get to this place where you can say, “Done!” If we lead that way, ultimately embarrassment follows and the loss of what you currently consider most valuable.
I Timothy 6:6: “But godliness with contentment is great gain.”
Be content. Be thankful. It’s time to sigh, “Ahhhh.” Thanks, God. I choose to do Your will, not mine.
Transcribed from Session One Catalyst West 2010. Used by permission.
Register for a Catalyst Conference: events.catalystspace.com.
Advertisements bombard us today. A simple drive down the road is filled with an array of quips, quotes, empty promises, and invitations to spend your money. QVC infomercials and internet marketing seek to convince us that we cannot live without their products.
“Buy this beauty lotion and you will look ten years younger.”
“Drive this car and people will admire and accept you.”
“Eat this food and pounds will instantly drop off your body.”
“Spray on this fragrance and men will chase you like a bloodhound.”
The world is deep in debt and growing deeper…trying to buy what God freely gives us: acceptance, love, approval, value, peace, joy and fulfillment. Go ahead and make a few laps around the racetrack of the world’s system, and you will be saying with Solomon: “Vapor of vapors…all is vanity!”
We can live our lives in an emotional prison simply because of a case of mistaken identity. I had an uncle who actually spent twenty years in prison for something he did not do. He was sentenced because of a case of mistaken identity. Imagine all that wasted time and potential!
Have you been living your life with a case of mistaken identity because you don’t know who you are? Do you live you life in dread, loneliness, control and manipulation, self-condemnation and a litany of ills because you don’t know who you truly are in Jesus’ eyes? Our identity is established as a result of who and what we choose to identify with.
If we live in the shadow of the perceptions of others, we will never live on solid ground emotionally. When we identify with Christ and His love and acceptance of us, we will no longer struggle with our self-image.
The arrogant religious leaders of Jesus’ day asked Christ who He thought He was. (John 8:47-57) Jesus simply told them He was God’s Son. Infuriated, they accused Him of blaspheming Jehovah. Jesus countered with these words:
“Jesus answered, Even if I do testify on My own behalf, My testimony is true and reliable and valid, for I know where I came from and where I am going: but you do not know where I come from or where I am going.” John 8:14
Jesus knew exactly who He was and His critics were enraged. Christ refused to identify with public opinion. God alone was the source of His self-perception and confidence. He saw His reflection in the eyes of His Loving Father.
So many churches invest all of their time teaching Christians what to do instead of who they are. You belong to God! You are His alone! You can walk in courageous confidence. You can feel relaxed in Christ, above unfounded criticism and self-doubt. You can be assured to press toward what you already know is yours, but in your pressing you won’t feel pressured. A customer does not walk into a bank and worry about withdrawing his own money-it’s there for the taking and it belongs to him.
You are a child of God. You don’t have to feel needy. You can rest in the unconditional love and approval of your Creator and no longer need the approval of others to feel whole, complete and satisfied. And be patient with yourself as you learn to walk in your new-found identity in Christ.
As I always say, “I’m not where I need to be, but thank God I’m not where I used to be. I’m OK and I’m on my way!”
Joyce Meyer, Approval Addiction. New York: FaithWords, 2005, pp. 247-248, 251.
All italicized words are direct quotations.
Peter teaches three reasons why we suffer. It can be because of our own mistakes or it can be undeserved. Suffering can also be mysterious, we don’t know why. Regardless, suffering can produce growth, sweeten or sour us, perfect our kingdom vision and deepen our trust in Christ.
Three categories of tests from God are described in Scripture. Temptations come to all believers from Satan. Trials are used by God to refine our faith and make us look like Jesus. Tests are dewsigned to reveal our whole-hearted devotion to God.