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Articles

Fun Effective Ways to Help Your Kids Engage with Scripture

by Deborah Haddix
written by Deborah Haddix

The Bible is God’s precious gift given to all. And on it, He placed no age restrictions.

Accordingly, it is vital that we understand one very important thing. The Spiritual Discipline of Engaging with the Scripture is not limited to adults. Teens can engage. Children can engage.

Engaging the Younger Generations

What matters is that we are helping our teens and children spend time in the full counsel of God’s Word.

10 Ways to Help Children Engage with Scripture

1. Involve Your Children as Cast Members

As you read the actual Bible narratives with your children, turn your home into a theater. Let each child assume the role of one of the characters, and if you run out of children, let them play multiple roles (or grab some stuffed animals and dolls from their rooms.)

2. Commission Them as Artists

There are many, many passages of Scripture that are story-driven. When you get to these, take the opportunity to activate your children’s imaginations.

Give them a sheet of paper and a pencil or some crayons and ask them to draw what they hear.

The act of drawing will engage your children with the text as it is being read. Additionally, the completed drawings will become a reference guide. They will help your children remember the people of the Bible and their stories, help you make connections for your children as you read on, and create opportunities for you to incorporate the gospel into what your children have seen and drawn.

3. Create a Mural

Involve your entire family in the art-making. Grab some poster board or butcher paper, and as a family, create a mural of what you are reading.

Feed the imaginations of your children as you read by creating your own scenes of what is happening in the text.

4. Turn the Bible Passage into a Family Research Project

Passages about constructing the tabernacle (Exodus), building the temple (1 Kings), and others of similar nature are often ones we skip over when reading the Bible with children. After all, these passages are what cause even grown adults to abandon yearly reading plans.

When you get to Bible accounts of this nature, increase your children’s interest by looking things up. A new furnishing for the tabernacle? An article of priestly clothing? The layout of the temple? Google it or look it up in a reference book. Add to your child’s view of the passage by providing visuals as seen through the eyes of an artist.

5. Shout “Amen”

Genealogies can be tough. All those names… of people you’ve never heard of. Adults skirt around them. Surely, children won’t get anything from them.

Help your children engage with these passages of genealogy and draw their interest by asking them to shout “Amen” each time they hear a name they are familiar with in the very long list being read.

EXAMPLE:

“Jesus (“AMEN”), when he began his ministry, was about thirty years of age, being the son (as was supposed) of Joseph (“AMEN”), the son of Heli, the son of Matthat, the son of Levi (“AMEN”), the son of Melchi, the son of Jannai, the son of Joseph (“AMEN”), the son of Mattathias, the son of Amos (“AMEN”), the son of Nahum (“AMEN”), the son of Esli, the son of Naggai.”

Luke 3:23-25 [(“AMEN”) added for emphasis.]

6. Play “Banker”

Another idea for engaging with passages of genealogy is to let your children be the “banker” as you read.

Before embarking on your reading of a lengthy genealogy, fill a large container with beads. Then provide each of your children with their own smaller container or cup. Instruct them to take a bead out of the larger container and put it into their own cup every time a person’s name is read. When you come to the end of the genealogy, count how many beads are in each cup.

7. Write Songs

Prior to reading the Bible text together, ask your children to listen for thoughts or phrases that would be a great song title.  When you’ve finished reading your Scripture, add to the fun by writing your own hymn or worship song. Bonus points for verses or phrases that come from your reading passage!

8. Pray the Scripture

Model the praying of Scripture for your children as part of your Bible reading. Periodically, allow them to take turns praying the Scripture for themselves.

9. Encourage Retelling

Before closing your Bible and moving on to other activities, ask your child to retell the reading passage in their own words. This is a wonderful way for you to ascertain what they grasped from the reading and where you may need to make some clarifications.

Let your child know that they will be asked to retell the passage BEFORE you read through it together. This will help them be more engaged with the text and “read” with purpose.

10. Let Them Wiggle

Children need to wiggle. Their bodies aren’t built for long periods of sitting. Consider making it part of your routine to play Scripture music before or after you read the Bible together. Let them wiggle and dance so they can better focus.

www.deborahhaddix.com.

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Articles

Five Ways to Improve Preaching or Speaking in Front of a Camera

by Carey Nieuwhof
written by Carey Nieuwhof
Amidst all the changes you’ve experienced in the last few weeks, like a ton of leaders and pastors, you are likely trying to master the skill of speaking or preaching straight into a camera.
With no audience.
And by now, you’ve realized just how challenging that can be.
As difficult as speaking in front of a live audience is, being in the room with a crowd gives you huge advantages as a communicator.
When you have an audience in the room with you, it’s easy to tell if people are paying attention and whether they’re leaning in. You can sense whether they’re tracking by whether they laugh at your jokes (please, laugh at my jokes…), sitting up during important points, or become so rapt that in moments you can hear a pin drop.
All of that plays into an invisible feedback loop in the speaker or preacher’s mind that gives you cues as to whether to speed up, slow down, move on, dig deeper, relax or make other adjustments as you go.
When there’s no audience, all of that is gone.
Completely gone.
I didn’t realize how heavily I relied on my ability to ‘read’ an audience and see how my message is tracking until I spoke straight into the camera in an empty room for the first time.
At first, it felt awful—almost as if I had never spoken before. I had no idea how to adapt.
These days, I shoot hours and hours of video each year with zero audience (just a camera) for everything from pre-recorded sermons, to creating my online courses, to leading webinars and livestreams. For a while I even live hosted a live national TV show (with no studio audience). I’ve learned some things along the way.
This post is part of a series on church leadership and the current global crisis:
Here are a few tips that can help you get used to speaking directly into a camera (with no audience).

1. Be Real. Real Is Resonating, Deeply

It’s so tempting to think you’re only as good as your gear. And if you don’t have great gear, a crew, and amazing production, your message won’t resonate.
That’s not the case at all.
The truth is you’re every bit as good as your content and delivery. Gear can help, but in this moment, who you are is resonating far more deeply than the gear you use.

 

Some church leaders are still doing big production on a stage without the audience, and you could argue that’s what people are longing for (can we please go back to normal?). No criticism here. We’re all trying to figure this out in real-time.
But for some that’s impossible or unwise (health considerations, number of crew needed, or frankly, you never had big production in the first place).
Only having your iPhone or something less than a pro-set up isn’t fatal at all. In fact, it gives you more opportunity than anything.
You can take the pressure off yourself and just be real. Our world needs real more than it needs anything right now.

 

You know who’s crushing the new low production reality? Jimmy Fallon is.
Jimmy Fallon didn’t try to pretend he wasn’t doing the Tonight Show from home. Instead, he embraced it in all of its ordinariness. Which is exactly what makes it work.
If you haven’t seen it yet, he’s filming the entire Tonight Show from various places in his home with his wife as camera operator and video linking to guests in their homes.

 

As you flip through the episodes, notice that Jimmy:
  • Doesn’t compete with his family…he includes them. His daughters make all the art for the show.
  • Reads his monologue from a printed sheet, the same way you’d read something in a meeting or casual conversation. That actually makes it funnier, because even someone with the gifting of Fallon realizes that without the studio audience there, it would be really difficult to get the delivery right.
  • Wears the clothes you’d normally wear at home (no suits).
  • The audio quality is really crazy low…including the musical guests (literally no mic other than the iPhone in a bricked room).
  • Does a low res Skype/Zoom iPhone interview with Alec Baldwin on his iPhone with his wife and daughter hanging out in the background.
  • Raises money for a new charity every night to try to help with the crisis.
The best part? It’s so real.
Rather than compete with the situation we’re all in, Fallon embraces it. And while he has a few more zeros in front of the decimals in his bank balance than you and I do, he brings himself into the reality we’re all in. He went where his audience lives: to his home, adapting like everyone else.
Theologians might call that kind of approach incarnational. Incarnational is one approach our world is longing for right now.
Being with your people in a time like this means being real with your people in a time like this.
Deciding to be real is strangely, even more calming and anchoring than constant hype or constant hope.

2. Picture Your Audience

Real is one thing, but how do you connect when you can’t see your audience?
Simple: imagine them.
Pick a person you know and talk to them. Maybe it’s an unchurched friend you’re trying to reach, a new attender you just met or a long time member you trust deeply. Just pick a person and speak to them.
Naturally, you can vary that from talk to talk or live-stream to live stream, but it really breaks down the digital wall.
When I record my leadership podcast I imagine a leader out for his morning run or in her car listening to the episode. I think about what he or she is struggling with and I try to speak directly to them.
When I film one of my online courses, I imagine a senior pastor listening and trying to apply it to his or her church, or a staff team trying to make it work in their context.
When I preach to a camera, I imagine room full of people, or in this case, a living room with a family.
All of that helps.
Imagining your audience will make your tone of voice more expressive and empathetic as well as more natural. And it will even help you think about whether your content is really going to help the people watching or listening.
If you imagine your audience when you’re speaking into a camera, you’re far more like to connect with them.

3. Shorten It

My general rule on live communication with a crowd is that there’s no magic length for the perfect sermon or keynote.
While TED talks have changed the game, there’s nothing magic about 18 minutes: 5 minutes of boring is 5 minutes too long and 60 minutes of fascinating isn’t nearly enough. I still stand by that for live communication.
Video, though, is different to me. People listen to podcasts and watch videos at 1.5 or 2x speed. And I don’t know why, but two minutes still seems like an eternity on YouTube. Know what I mean?
For that reason, my rule of thumb on video (with no live audience) is that shorter is better.
I’m up this Sunday, and instead of speaking 38-40 minutes, I plan on doing no more than 25 minutes. It just feels much longer when there’s no one in the room.
Plus, if you look at the reality of what’s happening in the average home, kids are crawling all over parents, half your audience might be cleaning up breakfast while ‘worshipping’ and it’s pretty easy to open multiple tabs on your laptop if you get bored.
This might change over time, but I would leave your congregation wanting more than having them wish you had been done ten minutes ago.
Remember, online viewing is much less polite than an in-person congregation. To walk out during a message takes guts. To swipe out of the message takes nothing…and nobody would ever know.
So be shorter.

4. Don’t Try to Recreate What’s Gone

As I shared in an earlier post about how to lead in a digital default church, that you’re probably spending a lot of time doing right now is figuring out how to do what you usedto do.
Um, that’s gone. It’s history.
Again, back to Fallon, rather than trying to build the Tonight Show set in his back yard, he just embraced the fact that all of that was gone for now.

 

I’m not criticizing preachers who have a camera set up in an empty auditorium (I will likely preach that way this weekend…it’s what our church is still able to do), but don’t just re-create. Experiment.
I plan on adding a live-stream Q and A at the end of the message.
And video is endlessly creative.
A friend who leads a mega-church, and has a huge love of movies, screenplays and great art, texted me and asked if finally all the energy he’d love to put into cinema (he wanted to write screenplays) could be put into the message. I didn’t blink. Of course it could.
Don’t spend your energy trying to recreate what was lost. Try to find something new.
When the audience isn’t in the room, new ways open up to connect with the audience.
Let this crisis be a cradle for innovation.

 

5. Take people backstage

And by backstage, I mean into your life. 
My pastor, Jeff Brodie, smartly opened his message by showing pictures of his family and how everything changed in the last few weeks at his house. Fun, personal and real.
I speak around the world (or at least used to) on leadership, write books, host leadership podcasts and breathe leadership every day. But if you check my Instagram feed (especially stories), it’s a hybrid mix of my leadership ideas, and my life—going out for a run or bike ride, smoking brisket on my Big Green Egg, getting my first COVID haircut, and in the summer obsessing over the lines in my (hopefully very green) lawn.
When I land in a city to speak (on leadership), you know what the top things people talk to me about? It’s often not leadership. Instead, they talk to me about my obsessions with my lawn and barbecuing on the Big Green Egg.
People may love what you say, but they identify with you.
In an age where everything is spun, sold and marketed, people are looking for you. Let them see, well, you.
Quick tip for preachers. People think you say what you say because you get paid to say it. I know that’s crass and it’s not true, but that’s the thought-bubble over people’s heads when they interact with a preacher.
Letting people see that you’re real helps people see that God is real.
I guess we’re back at point 1, but that really is something that will get you so far in the midst of this crisis. And well beyond it.

Bonus Tip: Watch Yourself

As painful as it is, watch yourself on video.
I know…I still cringe, noticing every little mistake I make.
If you’re really brave—which you should be—get others to evaluate you and give you tips.
Pain can be a great teacher.
If you can’t stand to watch yourself on video, why would anyone else watch you?
www.careynieuwhof.com.
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Devotionals

Good Soil Produces Good Fruit

by Abraham Kuruvilla
written by Abraham Kuruvilla

God’s sovereign action produces fruit in a receptive disciple.

“… the good soil[s], who hear the word and accept [it] and bear fruit—one thirtyfold, and one sixtyfold, and one hundredfold.”
Mark 4:20

Thus far, in Mark, most people, including Jesus’ own family, have failed to recognize Jesus’ person, his authority, and his mission. How may fruit-bearing be ensured in the disciple’s life?

The seed/soil parables are discourse on hearing the word and responding to it. To the degree that one hears and responds to Jesus’ word, one bears fruit. Obviously, there is a variety of responses to the mission of the sower—three unsuccessful seeds (soils) and three successful ones.

Here in Mark 4, disciples are encouraged to have open ears and eyes to the teachings of Jesus. In fact, the verb “to hear” shows up 13 times in the space of 34 verses (4:3, 9 [×2]; 12 [×2]; 15, 16, 18, 20, 23 [×2], 24, 33). As the explanation section (4:14–20) emphasizes, disciples would do well to receive, hear, and accept the word of Jesus (4:16, 18, 20), that they, unlike the bad soil/seeds, may become fruit-bearing. This receptivity is the essential human element for the consequential bearing of fruit. Such receptivity is, of course, more than mere cognition, and includes commitment and obedience. Such fruit-bearing represents normative discipleship, marked by Christlikeness in conduct. That is man’s responsibility—the human element, the act of receiving/hearing/accepting God’s word, that produces fruit.

The remainder of the pericope demonstrates deliberate structuring in 4:26–29.

A  Sowing (4:26)

B  “sleeps and rises, night and day” (4:27a) [activity of man]

C  “seed sprouts and grows” (4:27b) [activity of seed]

D  “how he himself does not know” (4:27c) [activity of God; incomprehensibility]

D’  “by itself, the soil produces fruit” (4:28a) [activity of God; automaticity]

C’  “first stalk, then head, then full grain” (4:28b) [activity of seed]

B’  “he sends the sickle” (4:29a) [activity of seed]

A’  Harvesting (4:29b) [activity of man]

The incomprehensibility and automaticity of fruit production—the center of the structure, elements D and D’, above—marks the inscrutable and sovereign work of God (automatos, “by itself,” occurs in 4:28). Outside of the initial sowing and the final harvesting, the sower does nothing but wait. As Luther wrote: “I simply taught, preached, and wrote God’s Word; otherwise I did nothing. And while I slept or drank Wittenberg beer with my friends …, the Word so greatly weakened the papacy that no prince or emperor ever inflicted such losses on it. I did nothing; the Word did everything.” That is God’s sovereignty in action—the divine element, incomprehensible and automatic, producing fruit in the child of God.

The human element of growth and the bearing of fruit is, in the broader perspective, as insignificant as a tiny mustard seed. The contrast in Mark 4:31–32 is between an inauspicious onset, almost invisible, and an impressive finale, quite remarkable. Disciples are to take heart; they are assured by Jesus of the ultimate value of their undertaking, as God, in his precise timing and inscrutable sovereignty, consummates his kingdom (incomprehensibly and automatically), as he causes his people to bear fruit. This amazing metamorphosis from diminutive seed to great tree is made possible, in the end, by the power of God alone (divine sovereignty), as he undertakes a work that is incomprehensible and automatic, and thereby consummates his kingdom. Those who are receptive to God’s word will yield fruit and will be incorporated into the grand scheme of God’s kingdom, for God is at work!

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Devotionals

Be Bold!

by Abraham Kuruvilla
written by Abraham Kuruvilla

Following Jesus in discipleship involves facing opposition boldly and persistently, without being deterred from God’s calling.

And looking around at them with anger,
grieved at their hardness of heart,
He said to the man, “Stretch out your hand.”
And he stretched [it] out and his hand was restored.
Mark 3:5

The plot moves on from Jesus’ increasing popularity (for misguided reasons) in Mark 1:21–45 to escalating opposition in 2:1–3:6 (also for wrong reasons).

That Mark 2:1–3:6 is a separate unit is evident from its deliberate patterning of five controversy units (see table), and it all happens in Capernaum, with each section concluding with an utterance from Jesus.

SECTION ISSUE OPPONENTS’ RESPONSE
2:1–12 Authority of the forgiver Scribes, in their hearts, accuse Jesus of blasphemy
2:13–17 Association with sinners Scribes/Pharisees question disciples about Jesus’ practice
2:18–22 Newness of practice “They” question Jesus about his disciples’ non-conformity
2:23–27 Tradition critiqued Pharisees question Jesus about disciples’ “lawbreaking”
3:1–16 Response to opposition Pharisees/Herodians plot to kill Jesus

There is a programmatic escalation of opposition and increasing antipathy towards Jesus and the disciples, culminating in the plot of their enemies to destroy Jesus (3:6). The crescendo is patently audible, and the accusations become progressively more serious; the silent reasoning of the adversaries in the first episode escalates into outright plotting to assassinate Jesus in the last (see table above). In other words, the kinds of opposition the disciple can expect are described in this pericope. This is what those embarking on the “Trip of Discipleship” will likely face: antagonism and hostility.

The first two episodes are linked: they deal, respectively, with Jesus’ divine authority to forgive sin (the healing of the paralytic), and with the fact that all of mankind (self-righteous ones included!) is lost in sin, needing the cure of a Savior (the “physician,” who came to call the sinners). In other words, everyone needs the forgiveness that Jesus alone has the authority to extend; but the opponents reject both Jesus’ authority and their own neediness, and conflict ensues.

The next two episodes are linked as well: they deal, respectively, with antagonism directed towards the changed lifestyles of those who follow Jesus (the disciples not seeing it necessary to fast, as did the Pharisees), and with the implicit critiques those changed lifestyles offer to the mores of the world (the criticism of a hardhearted imposition of traditional—not biblical—rules in hopes of gaining merit with God). In other words, ways of life have changed for the disciples and those new ways silently condemn the old ways of the world. But opponents question the validity and spirituality of these changed lifestyles and reject the critique that such lifestyles offer to their own practices.

The final episode (Jesus’ healing of a man’s withered arm) concludes the pericope, teaching the disciple how to respond: with grief, with firmness, with resoluteness, not letting opposition daunt him/her.

In sum, this pericope lays before us the different aspects of opposition disciples are likely to face: to the divine authority of their leader to forgive sins, to the (implicit) labeling of mankind as sinners in need of a Savior, to the newness of the disciples’ lifestyle that does not fit the world’s definition of spirituality, and to Christians’ critique of the ways of the world.

The “Trip of Discipleship” ain’t gonna be easy!

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Bible Studies

Communicating the Truth

by Tony Evans
written by Tony Evans

Introduction

On a football team, there is a kicker and that kicker has one aim — to kick the football perfectly between the two goalposts and to score points that will hopefully bring the team to victory. As believers, our aim should be to speak the truth in love. The two goalposts represent truth and love. The football represents our words. As believers, we need to aim our words directly in the center of the goalposts. Truth without love is information without heart. Love without truth is heart without clarity. Both truth and love must exist together.

When believers communicate the truth lovingly, we become equipped for service. Speaking the truth in love helps us become more like Christ, deepening our spiritual maturity (Ephesians 4:15). Loving, truthful communication also promotes unity in the church, the body of Christ. Speaking truth that can bring people closer together might seem counterintuitive. Often, truth is not popular. It’s not what people want to hear. But the truth spoken in love according to the Word of God, will unite believers as brothers and sisters in Christ. Remember this: truth is God’s perspective on any subject. We need to learn to go to God first, then to communicate truth lovingly to others by following these principles: speaking God’s view of the subject, sharing God’s heart on the subject, and sharing God’s character on the subject. Our words should be consistent with who God is, reflecting His standards, His goals and His righteousness. People should be hearing God through us when they hear from us.

God is so good that He provides benefits or “perks” when we communicate the truth with love. God draws closer to us with each loving word. We get to enjoy a more intimate relationship with God as we speak with His clarity and kindness. We will also begin to see more answers to our prayers as we grow in our sanctification – the process of becoming more like Christ. Finally, our failures can be mitigated by how we have loved and helped people with God’s truth. As we communicate God’s love and truth more, we will experience less of God’s judgment and consequences because our desires and actions will align with what God wants and requires of us. Be expectant of how God will move in your life as you passionately pursue truth.

Getting Started

1. When is the last time you told a lie (small, medium, or large)? What was the lie?
2. What was the last lie someone told you? How did that affect you?

Let’s Get Personal

1. How has your view of truth changed in light of this sermon series? How has what you have learned impacted your relationship with God and relationships with others?

2. Has there been a time when someone has spoken biblical truth to you? Was it difficult to hear? How did that experience affect you?

3. On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the best, how well would you say you communicate the truth in love? How do you think your friends and family would rate your ability? Which aspect is more difficult for you, speaking the truth or speaking with love?

Take the Next Step

1. Where are you lacking in showing the love of God to others? Think deeply about this and discuss with your group practical ways that you as individuals and your entire group can show the love of God to others in your church and your community this week. How can you share God’s heart and His truth with people you see every day?

2. Has your prayer life changed since the start of this series on truth? How can you pray more regularly and intentionally this week so that you can begin to see more answers to prayer?

3. Is there someone you love who needs to hear the truth from you this week? Spend time in prayer asking God for the words to say so that you can show this person God’s love while still speaking the truth. If needed, write down what you plan to say first, and have someone in your group read over it for you.

4. Want to dig deeper? Take time to look at the following passages: 1 John 3:16-18; 1 John 4:7-21; Ephesians 4:25-32; 1 Corinthians 13:6; Psalm 141:3; Proverbs 18:21; James 1:26; James 3:2; Matthew 12:34-37; 1 Timothy 6:3.

Renew Your Mind

“But speaking the truth in love, let us grow in every way into him who is the head — Christ.”

Ephesians 4:15

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Devotionals

Model Mentor: Jesus and Peter

by Julie Barrier
written by Julie Barrier

Of course, Jesus’ entire ministry was spent “passing the torch.” He devoted three and one-half years modeling ministry in front of his disciples. Before ascending into heaven, Christ gave his men marching orders to finish His work and evan- gelize the world. When it came to Peter, the bumbling disciple needed all the training he could get! Jesus taught impetu- ous Peter many life lessons. Jesus clarified Peter’s call by asking him to drop his fishing nets and fish for men. (Matthew 4:18) Jesus tested his trust by asking him to walk on the waves of the Galilean sea. (Matthew 14:28) Christ crystallized Peter’s theology when he asked him “Who do men say that I am?” (Matthew 16:16) After Peter declared Jesus’ deity, Christ clarified His mission as the sacrificial lamb offered for the sins of the world. Christ applauded and reproved him in the span of seven verses. (Matthew 16:17-23) Peter saw His Savior glorified on the Mount of Transfiguration and grieving in the Garden of Gethsemane. Peter was at Jesus’ side during the parables, healings and the feeding of the five thousand. (Matthew 14:21) He listened to Jesus pray. (John 17) Jesus gave Peter his first opportunity to stretch his wings in Mark 6:6-13:

“Then Jesus went around teaching from village to village. Calling the Twelve to him, he sent them out two by two and gave them authority over evil spirits. These were his instructions: “Take nothing for the journey except a staff — no bread, no bag, no money in your belts. Wear sandals but not an extra tunic. Whenever you enter a house, stay there until you leave that town. And if any place will not welcome you or listen to you, shake the dust off your feet when you leave, as a testimony against them.” They went out and preached that people should repent. They drove out many demons and anointed many sick people with oil and healed them.” NIV

Jesus was all about on-the-job training. He’d push Peter out of the nest-sometimes he would fly and sometimes he would fall. Christ called him out of the boat-at first he sank, but he eventually walked on the waves. When the Holy Spirit came at Pentecost (only after Christ had left the earth), Peter would be ignited with Jesus’ passion and power. (Acts 2:1- 41)

  • Can you identify with Peter? What are some life lessons you can learn from him? What kind of “on-the-job training” have you received from Jesus?
  • Can you recall a time in your life when Jesus called you to “walk on water?” What were the circumstances that sur- rounded your test of faith? Did you find it difficult to keep your eyes on Jesus during that trying time? Why or why not?
  • What do you learn about Christ’s patience in training Peter? Do Peter’s failures and victories encourage you in your walk with God?
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Sermon Starters

Only God’s Word Will Last

by Francis Chan
written by Francis Chan

“All flesh is like grass, and all its glory like the flower of grass. The grass withers and the flower falls, but the Word of the Lord will stand forever.”

1 Peter 1:24,25. NIV

Our earthly bodies are like grass. When you walk out and see grass or you see a flower, you must ask yourself, “How long is that flower going to last?” It’s going to start wilting quickly. That happens to us. View yourself like a plant. Don’t take yourself so seriously. You’re not going to look good for long. And it’s going to get expensive to look good. When you’re born, you’ll spring up like a seedling. You’ll have your glory days, but it’s going to be over. Peter says that there is only one thing that’s going to last. The Word of the Lord will last. The Word of the Lord is unique. When you are gone, God’s Word will still be here and it will still be true. When God says something, it’s always going to be true. His Divine Truth will never be obsolete when we die and go to heaven. God doesn’t say “Now, I take that back.” We have to be people that have to learn how to love His Eternal Word.

Nowadays we have podcasts of preachers all over the world, we have all sorts of Christian books, devotionals and videos, but it can’t replace God’s Word. There is something that happens when you are reading God’s Word. It totally changes you. This Word is “…the Word that is preached to you.” In chapter two of 1 Peter, Peter describes young Christians as spiritual infants longing for spiritual milk. We have all heard babies that didn’t get their bottle. You always hear the babies crying who didn’t get their bottle and the mom is frantically looking for it. Nothing works. No pacifier, nothing will shut that kid up besides the bottle. We should be like newborn infants longing for His Word. Nothing else will satisfy us.

I can never read too much scripture in a sermon. That’s what the world wants these days. Sound bytes. We need His Word. It’s our life. Remember, “If you indeed have tasted that the Lord is good…” When we read and pray, communing with God, we have a unique relationship that is not obtained simply from relating with other people. Intimacy with God is irreplaceable. Invest your life in the God-moments.

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Here’s a God-Centered Grandparent’s Guide!

by Deborah Haddix
written by Deborah Haddix

Affirming our grandchildren – it’s key: to building strong relationships, to discipleship, to passing the faith.

Our words are powerful. When handled well, they can build up, encourage, communicate love, and convey value to our grandchildren. On the other hand, our disregard in the use of our words, and even our silence, have the effect of performing just the opposite work in the lives of our grandchildren.

Knowing this, it’s imperative that we understand AFFIRMATION and learn to practice it well.

WHAT IS GOD-CENTERED AFFIRMATION?

Words can get muddied. Consider, for example the words: blessing, encouragement, and affirmation. We often use them interchangeably and while there’s nothing wrong with that practice, at their core, these words are distinct in meaning.

A BLESSING is a word or action that delivers refreshment and hope to its recipient.

According to John Trent, a blessing is the gift of acceptance and unconditional love passed from one generation to another through meaningful touch, a spoken message, attaching high value, picturing a special future and an active commitment. A blessing is live giving, live-changing.

ENCOURAGEMENT applies to words or actions that offer support, confidence and hope. Encouragement looks forward, painting a bright future of something that “could be.” Think of it as “cheerleading.”

AFFIRMATION, on the other hand, looks backward. It confirms something that has already happened and been observed.

“Affirmation is truthfully declaring by complimentary word or action the goodness of something. Good affirmation attests, certifies, or confirms that which honors God, that which is morally upright.”

Sam Crabtree, Practicing Affirmation (page 132)

BLESSING, ENCOURAGEMENT, & AFFIRMATION

As we look a little more closely at our definitions, we see that:

  • Not all blessings affirm.
  • Not all encouragements are affirmations.
  • Affirmation is a particular type of blessing.
  • Affirmation is a particular type of encouragement.

In short, one way to bless our grandchildren is to offer them encouragement, and one way to encourage them is through affirmation.

WHY IS IT IMPORTANT TO AFFIRM OUR GRANDCHILDREN?

  1. The ongoing practice of affirmation earns us a hearing. Our grandchildren are much more willing to listen to us when they have been the recipients of refreshment and hope extended by us.
  2. Affirmation lifts their spirits.
  3. Our words of affirmation motivate and incentivize our grandchildren.
  4. When we make the affirming of our grandchildren a habit, we are easier to live with. We become someone they want to be around.
  5. Being an affirmer changes us. As we make a practice of looking for evidence of God’s grace and character in our grandchildren, we move from being complain-ers to commend-ers which improves our disposition and emotional state. We become more positive.
  6. God-centered affirmation illuminates the character of God, which teaches our grandchildren and honors Him.
  7. When we affirm our grandchildren, God is glorified.

HOW DO WE AFFIRM?

  • Make eye contact.
  • Speak in a manner that is uplifting.
  • Touch your grandchildren in ways that are appropriate, safe, and welcoming.
  • Share stories, especially your stories.
  • Draw them in to your exclusive grandparent/grandchild circle.
  • Learn to be interrupted by your grandchildren. When we drop what we are doing for them, it demonstrates their importance and value.

CHARACTERISTICS OF GOOD AFFIRMATIONS

Good affirmations are:

  1. Detached from correction. As a classroom teacher, I always heard that when meeting with a student’s parent it was best to begin with the positive. To look for something to commend the student for before hitting the parent with the negative (correction). That might be a way to “cushion” the correction, but it doesn’t work if affirmation is your aim. Corrections contaminate and weaken our affirmations, canceling them out.
  2. Ongoing. There must be a steady stream of affirmation. Our silence and random spurts do not refresh or motivate our grandchildren. They do not honor. Affirmation done correctly takes time. Plan it. Schedule it.
  3. Honest. Phony, false affirmations do not build up. Learn to be an observer of your grandchildren and offer truthful affirmations. Commend only the commendable.
  4. God-centered. Pay attention. Look for godly characteristics to commend. The purpose of our affirmations is to glorify God by refreshing and motivating our grandchildren as we go about discipling them.

The words we wield make a powerful impact on the lives of our grandchildren (and our adult children). If our longing is to build strong relationships with our grandchildren and to pass them a heritage of faith in Christ, we must be about the intentional business of Practicing God-centered Affirmation.

www.deborahhaddix.com. Used by permission.

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Church is Not Optional

by Tom Terry
written by Tom Terry

Christianity is a faith of relationships. This means that we were created to be with one another. From the beginning of creation when God saw that the first man, Adam, was alone he said, “It is not good that man should be alone” (Genesis 2:18). Then God created a woman, and the two began a family, and that family expanded and eventually became a group of societies.

Church is a group in society that is purposed to teach and encourage believers and allow them to experience their relationship with God corporately. Christians who are not part of a group of believers (church) are not experiencing all that the Christian life has to offer. Every Christian needs encouragement and training. Church is where we go to acquire these important benefits. It is also where we gather to take part in sacraments that are designed to turn our affections toward Jesus in remembrance of all he has done for us.

This study will look at the three basic functions of a body of believers:

  • Teaching the Bible
  • Worshipping God
  • Encouraging one another

These basic functions of a local body of believers help the Christian grow in his or her faith into spiritual maturity. Without church the Christian cannot experience all that God has for him or her.

Let this study encourage you to get involved with other Christians and together, to grow in your faith.

What Is Church?

Church is where a group of believers in Jesus meet together for Bible teaching.

“And  a they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers…And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts” (Acts 2:42,46).

Since the foundation of Christianity, groups of Christians have met together weekly to learn the principles taught in the Bible. Knowing the Bible is an important part of the Christian experience. Learning together under the leadership of a pastor increases our knowledge of God.

Have you been reading the Bible on your own? Do you meet regularly with other believers to study the Bible? Would you like to start?

Church is where a group of believers in Jesus partake in the sacraments of Jesus—this is part of our worship of God.

“And when the hour came, he reclined at table, and the apostles with him. And he said to them, “I have earnestly desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer. For I tell you I will not eat it until it is fulfilled in the kingdom of God.” And he took a cup, and when he had given thanks he said, “Take this, and divide it among yourselves. For I tell you that from now on I will not drink of the fruit of the vine until the kingdom of God comes.” And he took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body, which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” And likewise the cup after they had eaten, saying, “This cup that is poured out for you is the new covenant in my blood” (Luke 22:14-20).

“For I received from the Lord what I also delivered to you, that the Lord Jesus on the night when he was betrayed took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it, and said, “This is my body which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” In the same way also he took the cup, after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.” For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes” (I Corinthians 11:23-26).

The Christian sacraments include Baptism and the Lord’s Supper. Obeying these practices is part of our obedience and worship of Jesus. Because Jesus commanded them, we do them.

Have you been baptized? Do you take part in the Lord’s Supper? Talk with your local pastor or church leader about taking part in these rites.

Church is where believers in Jesus meet for encouragement in their walk with God.

“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near” (Hebrews 10:23-25).

Christianity was never meant to be a faith that people practice alone. Christianity is a relationship with God through Jesus. So too, Christians must be in active relationship with other Christians to encourage one another in our following of Jesus.

Do you need encouragement in your faith? You can find that encouragement with a group of other believers! Are you part of a group of believers now?

Why Go To Church?

The Bible commands us to be part of a local group of fellow believers.

In the Old Testament God commanded Israel to gather at certain times for worship in Jerusalem. After many centuries the Jews practiced weekly gatherings in local houses of worship called synagogues. Christians continue this practice by meeting weekly in church gatherings. The Bible commands us to take regular part in this practice.

How often do you meet with other believers in church? Are you prepared to make a commitment to participate in church?

Christians must be involved in the corporate worship of God.

Throughout the history of the Bible God’s people have gathered together for corporate worship. This happens through reading the scripture, singing songs of worship to God, and observing certain rites that remind us of God’s commitment to his people.

Taking part in church is an expression of worship to God. How do you express your worship to Jesus? Is corporate worship missing in your life?

Believers in Jesus are all part of the body of Christ and thus we should function together—this encourages believers.

“I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness” (Romans 12:3-8).

“For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body – Jews or Greeks, slaves or free – and all were made to drink of one Spirit…that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together” (I Corinthians 12:12-14,25-27)

No Christian is to live as an island to himself. We are meant to live and worship together in unity. Read the passages above. You will recognize that all Christians have a role to play in our corporate church life.

Read the passages above. What role motivates you? What role would you be interested in playing with a group of fellow believers? How can you serve the needs of others?

What Do I Do At Church?

We take part in regular Bible study to build up our knowledge of God.

“Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth” (II Timothy 2:15).

Paul encouraged Timothy to teach the Bible in his church. From this we see that God intends for us to meet together and sit under the teaching of the Bible. The more we learn, the better we come to know God.

How much do you want to know God? How can attending church help you learn more about Jesus?

We spend time corporately worshipping God.

“Oh come, let us worship and bow down; let us kneel before the Lord, our Maker! (Psalm 95:6)

“Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth! Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into his presence with singing! Know that the Lord, he is God! It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him; bless his name! For the Lord is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations” (Psalm 100:1-5).

The book of Psalms was written for both private and corporate worship. Worship is both a private and a shared experience. It encourages us when we can meet with like-minded people to worship our Savior. Singing songs of praise and reading scriptures that extol the Lord brings honor to God. And only he is worthy of such affection and worship.

What kind of commitment are you prepared to make to your local group of believers? Will you join them for regular, weekly worship of Jesus?

We encourage one another in our common faith.

“Exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin” (Hebrews 3:13).

“Do not neglect to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near” (Hebrews 10:25).

Church isn’t just about worshipping God. Church is also about encouraging fellow Christians in their spiritual service. Everyone needs like-minded people to encourage them. You can encourage others in their relationship with Christ—and you can receive the same encouragement from others!

Make a commitment today to take part in regular, weekly church gatherings.

guywithabible.com

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Fifteen Important Questions to Ask Your Grandchildren

by Deborah Haddix
written by Deborah Haddix

Questions are powerful! Ask a well-crafted question and you can open up a closed-mouthed child, build relationship, and explore the depths of your thoughts. Question-asking can also help you reflect, learn and move forward.

Here are 15 Importantl Questions Every Grandparent Needs to Ask

1. Do I have clarity on the purpose for my grandparenting?

Culture is full of powerful messages for grandparents. Messages that spotlight independence and self-indulgence. That is not, however, the message we get from the Bible. When we search its pages, we find that grandparents were created by God to play a crucial role in the spiritual development of their grandchildren.

2. Am I engaging in intentional soul care?

Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children’s children—  Deuteronomy 4:9 3. Do my grandchildren see by my attitudes, words, and actions that Jesus is my greatest treasure?

4. Are my conversations with my grandchildren God-saturated?

5. Has my grandchild placed faith in Jesus?

6. Is my grandchild growing spiritually?

7. What troubles, trials, or temptations is my grandchild facing?

8. What do my grandchildren believe to be true? Is the Bible shaping their worldview?

Many, many children today, even those raised in Christian homes, do not know what the Bible teaches. Additionally, many are unable to explain or defend their faith. There is no question, our grandchildren are going to face strong opposition and competing belief systems. Am I helping my grandchildren base their beliefs, values, and assumptions on the Bible?

9. Does my grandparenting aim for behavior modification or heart transformation?

It’s so easy to haul out a list of do’s and don’ts when we are with our grandchildren. After all, we all want to be the grandparent of the well-behaved child. However, true and lasting change doesn’t come from behavior modification. It comes through a transformation of the heart. Am I, as a grandparent, aiming for the heart?

10. Am I grandparenting in a way that helps my grandchildren grow in their love for God and love for others?

And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the great and first commandment. 39 And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. 40 On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”  


Matthew 22:37-40

11. Do I engage in regular times of prayer for my grandchildren?

12. Do my grandchildren know my God-stories?

God-stories are to be retold. When you share your stories with your grandchildren, they hear of His work and learn of His nature. Your stories are for the purpose of glorifying God and pointing your grandchildren to Him.

13. What things am I doing to show my love and my care to my family members?

14. How much time and energy am I devoting to my adult children? To my grandchildren?

[T]hat you may fear the Lord your God, you and your son and your son’s son, by keeping all his statutes and his commandments, which I command you, all the days of your life, and that your days may be long.  

Deuteronomy 6:2

Grandparents have been given a dual role. One that focuses on both children and grandchildren.

15. Am I helping them to get to know God?

www.deborahhaddix.com.

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Twelve Self-Assessment Questions for Christian Parents

by Luke Gilkerson
written by Luke Gilkerson

God is the One who entrusted children to us in the first place: God, our Heavenly Father. And thankfully, He has a lot to say in His Word about His standards for good parents.

Curious about them? Here are 12 self-assessment questions to consider from the Bible.

12 Self-Assessment Questions for Christian Parents

1. Is the Christian faith a regular part of our daily conversation?

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” (Deuteronomy 6:5-7)

2. Do I offer regular opportunities for my children to worship God?

“Ascribe to the Lord the glory due his name; bring an offering and come before him! Worship the Lord in the splendor of holiness.” (1 Chronicles 16:29)

3. Does my speech serve the purpose of building up my children?

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” (Ephesians 4:29)

4. Am I teaching obedience by modeling it and requiring it?

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” (Ephesians 6:1)

5. Do I demonstrate the fruit of the Spirit in my life, and in my parenting?

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” (Galatians 5:22-23)

6. Do I avoid exasperating my children with standards that are too high?

“Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.” (Colossians 3:21)

7. Does my conduct towards my kids reflect love?

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

8. Do I pray for my children and trust God with them, enabling me to live free of worry about them?

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)

9. Have I put away anger?

“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.” (Ephesians 4:31)

10. Is my discipline corrective, instead of punitive?

“For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” (Hebrews 12:11)

11. Do I point my children toward the gospel when they sin?

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)

12. Do I view my children as blessings from God?

“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.” (Psalm 127:3)

Do you fall short in some of these areas? Great! That means you’re 100% human and 100% eligible to be a recipient of God’s grace in your parenting. Here are some action steps to get you started:

A Plan for Growth in Grace

1. Focus on YOUR relationship with God.

These Scriptures aren’t meant to be a battering ram that drives us to despair. They’re meant to guide us toward godly parenting while at the same time reminding us that we’re utterly incapable of it on our own. If we want to model our parenting after our Heavenly Father, our first priority must be intimacy with Him.

2. Confess sin to God, AND to your children, when appropriate.

It’s easy to find justification for our sins. We whitewash them by calling them struggles or weaknesses or difficulties, and we find plenty of support for that in our culture and even among well-meaning loved ones who can relate.

But freedom from sin begins with agreeing with God that it is, in fact, sin, and then asking forgiveness from Him and from those impacted by our sin (which is often our kids).

3. Receive God’s forgiveness.

Did you know that you don’t have to forgive yourself for your sinful patterns in parenting? Believe it or not, you won’t find that concept in the Bible.

Instead, you need only to believe that God meant what He said in 1 John 1:9: “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” If you’ve confessed your sins, then claim His promised forgiveness and cleansing, and move forward.

4. Go to God daily (and sometimes hourly!) for grace and wisdom.

Trying to do this parenting thing on our own is nothing short of pride. Not only does it destine us to failure, it actually puts us in a position of opposition against God.

There’s nothing more powerful than taking our burdens to God and asking for His provision and help.

5. Focus on one area of growth at a time.

We shared twelve assessment questions because we wanted this to be thorough and helpful, but it’s typically not very productive to change multiple habits at one time.

Consider which area would make the most difference in your life and in the life of your family. Which sin is most burdensome? Which one is the most problematic for your spouse and children? Tackle that one area for a few months, then move on to the one that will have the next-highest impact.

6. Memorize Scripture.

When you’ve chosen one area to target, select several portions of Scripture that address the sin in question. Choose some that discuss the vice, and some that discuss the corresponding virtue. For example, if you’re focusing on anger, you’ll want to find some verses that talk about anger or wrath, and some others that talk about patience or gentleness.

Don’t skimp on this: the Word of God is living and powerful, and it will change your heart when you persevere in applying it. (Psalm 119:11)

7. Enlist the help of others.

Share your goals with your spouse and your children.

It takes a hefty dose of humility, but it will set a powerful example for your children about the importance of community when it comes to Christian living. Ask them to remind you if they observe you getting off track and to encourage you when they notice improvement. It may also be helpful to seek advice and/or accountability from a Christian friend or church leader depending on the nature and extent of your sinful pattern.

Few things in life reveal our need for God’s grace the way parenting does. Thankfully, He promises that His grace will always be enough, and that His strength is actually made perfect in our weakness (especially if it’s not Instagram worthy).

Written by Luke and Trisha Gilkerson, www.intoxicatedonlife.com.

 

 

 

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How to Raise Empathetic Children

by Ken Sande
written by Ken Sande

Empathy does not appear automatically. Nor does it develop in a smooth, steady progression. Indwelling sin is a constant impediment (as illustrated throughout the Book of Proverbs), which requires a daily Outpouring of the Gospel. 

In addition, our brains are not fully wired until our mid-twenties. As a result, a child’s ability to show empathy develops in phases. For example, affective empathy (the ability to feel what others are feeling) usually develops in a child’s early years, while cognitive empathy (the ability to imagine what others are experiencing) develops later. In fact, most girls don’t see a steady rise in cognitive empathy until age 13. In boys, steady growth is often delayed until around age 15.

Unfortunately, many boys experience a corresponding decline in affective empathy between ages 13 and 16. This may result in part because of a spurt of testosterone during puberty, which can spark a desire for dominance and power. Stuffing emotions is also aggravated by pressure to “act like a man,” which is often portrayed as being tough, detached, and unshakeable. Teen boys may also suppress empathy so they can join in joking and teasing with peers—the social glue for boys—even if it means hurting others’ feelings.

Practical Ways to Promote Empathy

Although some of these growing pains are unavoidable, there is a great deal that parents and other influential adults can do to encourage steady growth in empathy, which is a key component of other-awareness and relational wisdom. Here are few practical tips on how to help children develop this quality.

At All Ages

·       Recognize your unique role as a parent. Biblical teaching, countless behavioral studies, and personal experience all confirm that parents are uniquely positioned to teach empathy to their children. One of the best ways to do so is to develop warm, open, and safe relationships, and to model healthy emotions and empathetic interactions with those around them.

·       Be patient and forgiving as your child stumbles and grows in relational skills. None of us is able to throw off sin and develop a godly character instantaneously. Since it’s God’s kindness that leads us to repentance (Rom. 2:4), it is crucial that we offer the same grace to our children (Col. 3:12-15). Here are two short film clips that illustrate how redemptive parental patience can be: Cinderella Man and Spanglish.

·       Weave the gospel into daily life. God’s gracious sacrifice of his Son for our salvation was the most compassionate event in history. Refer to the gospel regularly in practical ways, not only as the source of our salvation but also as the ultimate model of empathy and the key to our ability to grow in Christ-like character (Titus 2:11-14).

·       Pray without ceasing, asking God to give your children loving, sensitive, empathetic hearts, and to give you grace to model these qualities in your life.

·       Establish a secure and trusting relationship with your child, showing the same unchangeable commitment to and love for him that God shows to you (Heb. 13:5).

·       Be open with your own emotions (John 11:35). Use the READ acrostic to show your children that it’s OK to express emotions in reasonable ways, and that there are constructive ways to control and channel them.

·       Model empathy (1 Cor. 11:1). Apply the EMPATHY acrostic on a daily basis to demonstrate empathy for your children and for other people.

With Young Children

·       Affirm empathetic behavior in your children. When my grandson wiped away his mother’s tears, I said, “Andrew, what a good thing to do! You heard your mommy crying and felt sorry for her. You wanted to comfort her the way she has comforted you. Wiping her tears and saying kind words to her has made her heart glad again.” Such praise sends the message, “This is good behavior; keep doing it more and more!”

·       Use Bible stories to illustrate empathy and show that this quality is pleasing to God (e.g., Ruth 1:7-19; 1Sam. 20:41).

·       Empathize with your child. (“Are you feeling scared of the bee? I think he’s just looking for some food to take back to his home, but he is pretty close and he can sting us. That’s scary, so I’ll stay close until he flies away.”)

·       Talk with your child about others’ feelings. (“Kristen looks sad because no one is playing with her. She probably feels lonely. If you asked her to play with us that would make her happy … and me too.”)

·       Read stories about feelings. If emotions are not specifically described, ask your child to guess what different characters are feeling at various points in the story.

·       Use pretending to introduce older toddlers to emotion and empathy. For example, hold two of your child’s stuffed toys in your hands and have one of them do something that hurts the others’ feelings. Ask your child how the hurt animal feels, and what the other animal could do to take away the hurt.

·       Use role plays to enable your children to practice and learn empathy. Our Young Peacemaker Curriculumcontains illustrated stories and role plays that are well-suited for such use.

·       Talk openly about your child’s unpleasant emotions, such as sadness, disappointment, fear, or anger. Don’t simply condemn the emotion or try to fix the situation. Instead use it as an opportunity to help your child learn how to label her emotions, to understand why they’ve arisen, and to choose a constructive response. (“Are you afraid to go in the swimming pool. That’s OK. I understand, I felt the same way the first time my dad took me swimming. Would you like to just sit on the side of the pool, or do you want me to hold you and walk around in the pool for a little while?”)

With Older Children

·       Describe how other people have shown empathy to you, and explain why you appreciated it.

·       Use books and movies to help children to develop both cognitive empathy and affective empathy (“Why do you think that character did that?” “What is that person probably thinking and feeling?” “If you were in her shoes, what would you be tempted to do?”) You’ll find a wide variety of short film clips in our RW Movie Blog section that show how to use movies this way.

·       Use news reports and current events in the same way. (“How do you think those people felt when their homes were destroyed by a tornado?” “How do think our soccer players felt when they lost that game? If you were their coach, what would you say to them?”)

·       Study and discuss famous empathetic people, such as Abraham Lincoln, Florence Nightingale, Albert Schweitzer, Hudson Taylor, Corrie ten Boom, Oskar Schindler, Nelson Mandela, and Mother Theresa.

·       Expose children to situations that stimulate healthy emotions and compassionate actions, such as volunteering in the church nursery, mentoring a younger child, visiting a nursing home, working at a local rescue mission, or joining a mission project that serves suffering people.

Beneficial Life Outcomes

Developing empathy is a life-long, time-consuming endeavor, but it is worth the effort. Here are just a few of the long-term benefits of raising empathetic children.

·       Their lives are more likely to reflect the character of Christ and be pleasing to God (Eph. 5:1-2).

·       Protecting, comforting, and helping others will come more naturally to them (1Thess. 5:14-15). Just think how much you’ll appreciate these qualities when your children become your caretakers someday!

·       They will have greater social competence, which contributes to deeper friendships and more intimate and stable marriages.

·       Behavioral studies show a direct correlation between empathy and knowing right from wrong, as well as creative thinking and problem solving.

·       They will be more skilled at team-building, collaborating, negotiating, and conflict resolution, all of which contribute to vocational success and advancement.

·       Empathetic people are more likely to be humble, open-minded, and able to connect with and learn from a variety of people, all of which contribute to being a life-long learner.

None of these skills or benefits develops overnight, but with patient and consistent teaching and modeling, both you and your children can experience steady growth in this vital relational quality.

“Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind” (1 Pet. 3:8).

– Ken Sande

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What’s the Purpose of the Church?

by Drew Anderson
written by Drew Anderson

One of my most enjoyable professors at seminary shared a story with our class describing one aim of the church that I’ll never forget. It went something like this, “My family and I love to share a good meal together. In fact, we seldom missed meals as a family. At our table, you’ll find laughter, you’ll find tears, you’ll find correction, you’ll find truth, and you’ll also find love and acceptance.

It’s a safe place–our table–and it’s also a place of care, support, and appropriate guidance. We (my wife and I) love our children, and we love to be with them. They too, love to be with us. And so, when our daughter called home–after her first semester of college–to tell us that she was bringing friends home for the Thanksgiving holiday it thrilled our hearts. It’s exactly what we hoped she would do. She loves her family, she’s safe in her home, and she wants her new college friends to experience this supportive and caring environment.” 

The professor went on to say that, “…the church should be no different–principally–in cultivating the love, care, truth, and support experienced in our home.” He said, “When the church is living and breathing as the healthy church that it should be, members of the church-family can’t wait to bring their friends to the table.”

When you think of church what comes to mind?” Most people think the following when they think of the church: 

Family. Fellowship. Community. Worship. Learning more about the Bible. Singing. Love.

Therefore, one thing that is safe to conclude from this survey and from my professor’s thoughts is that the church has–at least–the potential to cultivate an environment similar to that of a family.

The question is, then, “Is this enough?” In other words, should the church strive for a family-feeling environment like my professor suggested and like what many people think of when they think of the church?

I would say, “yes and no”.

Yes, the church should cultivate and environment where similar experiences to that of a loving home are also experienced in the church. In fact, the Bible supports this idea. We see early on after Christ’s ascension that the church functioned similar to that of a family.

“They were continually devoting themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.”
Acts 2:42

This verse describes a church-environment where:

  • the Word of God (i.e. the apostles’ teaching) was a priority in their lives–it held a place of devotion.
  • fellowship or cultivating a place of mutual benefit for others was normal.
  • the Lord’s supper was observed (i.e. breaking of bread).
  • Prayer was part and parcel to their lives.

The text goes on to say, that “Everyone kept feeling a sense of awe; and many wonders and signs were taking place through the apostles. And all those who had believed were together and had all things in common; and they began selling their property and possessions and were sharing them with all, as anyone might have need. Day by day continuing with one mind in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they were taking their meals together with gladness and sincerity of heart, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord was adding to their number day by day those who were being saved.” In other words, these early Christians experienced a place of love and care and support similar to that of a family.

However, the answer to the question should the church strive to be like a family is at the same time, “no.” The reason I say no is because, while a family-like environment is important for the church to cultivate, it is not the ultimate purpose. I would say it like this, when the church is fulfilling its purpose, then it will naturally feel like a family. Take the home for example, when a father is acting like a father, and the mother like a mother, and the child like the child, etc. the family atmosphere takes on a whole different shape than it would if the child started acting like the father, etc. That’s another article for another day, but suffice it to say that the family-like environment is a product of and not the purpose of the church.

So, what is the purpose of the church?

The purpose* of the church is:

  1. To provoke Israel to jealousy. Tie this back to Deuteronomy 32:21. In essence, the church is God’s means of provoking Israel to jealousy, so that they will repent, turn back to Him, and look to Christ as their true Messiah. The church does this…amazing!
  2. To display God’s grace and wisdom. Christ’s death–man’s sin at its height–and Christ’s resurrection–God’s power over man’s sin at its height–reveal par excellence God’s grace and wisdom. Until this time, man only experienced a fraction of God’s grace and wisdom.
  3. To prepare rulers for the kingdom. In other words, through suffering in this world (church-age), followers of Christ are being prepared to reign in God’s kingdom to come.
  4. To evangelize the world. In other words, the church is to witness or declare the gospel through their lives and their words in Jerusalem (local), in all Judea and Samaria (regional), and the uttermost parts of the earth (global).
  5. To edify itself. This is through Scripture and our lives. To edify is to build up, which the church does through God’s Word and through coming alongside people with encouragement and love.
  6. To purify itself. In other words, the church–through the Word of God, prayer, and Holy Spirit–disciplines, corrects, and guides its members. They carry out a character of God, who disciplines those He loves.
  7. To glorify God. In other words, the church is a megaphone of God’s glory. It’s not a place of trivialities and inconsequentialities. No, no, the church is a place of displaying to all the glory of its Savior and God!

In conclusion, as the church fulfills her purpose, then the church will feel like family. It will be a place of love, of care, of nurture, of support, of correction, of guidance, and of acceptance.

*Adapted from Robert Saucy, The Church In God’s Program, 89-97.

www.staffandstones.com. Used by permission. 

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How to Be an Intentional Grandparent

by Deborah Haddix
written by Deborah Haddix

Have you ever come across a word that seems to jump out at you consistently?   A word that causes you to sit up and take notice each time you hear it?  This is one of those words for me.  In fact, I believe I began taking particular notice of the word right around the time I realized I was a long-distance grandmother.

Intentional:  done with intention or on purpose; intended.  (Dictionary.com)

I have to chuckle at that definition because being a former Language Arts teacher and English major, I always stressed to my students never to use the word itself in a definition because if you don’t know what the word means in the first place using it in the definition certainly won’t help clarify things.  So, let’s take a look at the definition of the root word.

Intention:  an act or instance of determining mentally upon some action or result.  (Dictionary.com)

Perhaps INTENTION has become a word for me because in my current season of life I am learning that the things that are truly important in my life require me to be INTENTIONAL about them.  When I was a child, life just happened. There was no need for INTENTION because I had parents and other adults in my life to care for me.  As a young mom, others were my responsibility, and I often found myself so busy trying to juggle everyone and everything that there was no time to be INTENTIONAL–about anything.

Now as an empty nester, the word is giving some shape to the second half of my life.  From here, I can look back and see how time flies.  My babies are grown and are parents of their own.  My grandchildren are growing up so quickly.  From here, I can also look back at all the times I had “good INTENTIONS” with no follow through because….  (Fill in the blank–time got away from me, I needed to drive someone somewhere, homework needed to be done, meals needed to be cooked, there was some type of event going on at church, I forgot.  If you are in that season or have lived through that season, you get the idea.)

As God continues to bring this word to me now, one thing I notice in looking at the definition is that INTENTION is an act of determination.  I must be deliberate.  Putting my grandchildren on a calendar may seem cold or impersonal, but it makes sure that I don’t forget!  The other thing I notice as I look at the definition of INTENTIONAL is that the act is done.  I must follow through.  “Good INTENTIONS” don’t show others the love of God if they remain just thoughts!

As a daughter of the King, my desire is to live a life of INTENTION.

INTENTION in my relationship with God, in my marriage, with my family, my friends, and in every area of my life including grandparenting.

What does it look like to be INTENTIONAL about grandparenting?  For me, during the first few years of grandparenting all of my grandchildren lived far enough away that I wasn’t able to interact with them face-to-face on a daily basis.  Being INTENTIONAL at that time, meant looking for ways to make connections and build relationships with them across the miles.  Later on, INTENTION meant keeping a calendar with my grandchildren’s names on it to remind me to make some type of contact with them:  mailing each a small item that was personal to them, sending notecards, or writing a story with them.  INTENTION also became weekly Skype calls on the calendar so that we could “see” each other and talk about our week.

There are so many ways to be INTENTIONAL about our relationships with our grandchildren.  Not only do we need to be INTENTIONAL about getting to know them and building relationships with them, but in modeling Godly marriages and passing along our love for God.

We also need to become INTENTIONAL about praying for our grandchildren.  If our desire for them is that Satan’s schemes and powers toward them be stopped and God’s power and provision for them flow fully, we must pray.  Not just INTEND to, but pray.

1.  Form a group or at least grab a friend.  Follow through is so much more likely if an accountability system is in place.  By oneself, it’s so easy to put things off until they are nothing more than “good INTENTIONS.”

2.  Put it on the calendar.  Whether the calendar event is a weekly meeting with your Grandparenting Prayer Group, a check in with your internet prayer circle, or each grandchild’s name on a different day reminding you to lift him/her up purposely that day.

3.  Pray specifically.  Pray for physical, spiritual, and emotional protection.  Pray that your grandchild would recognize evil in this world.  Pray that they would be strong in their faith resisting the enemy.  Pray that each grandchild would come to see themself as God sees them and be aware of His presence with them.

Iwww.deborahhaddix.com. Used by permission. 

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Identifying Blemishes in Christian Character

by Tim Keller
written by Tim Keller
Our natural virtues, which come from inborn temperament and family nurture—such as our talents, aptitudes, and strengths—are good things. But they each have a dark side.

People with prophetic gifts—that is, great directness, often good at public speaking or writing—can have problems listening to others and taking advice. People with priestly gifts—that is, sensitivity, often good at listening, giving counsel, showing mercy—often can be too concerned with making people happy. They may be cowardly, or overly sensitive to criticism. A person who is very generous may also be undisciplined and irresponsible in financial matters. Thus his generosity is really a facet of his too-impulsive character. 

One of the reasons that the virtues of gifts and temperament have a corresponding “dark side” is that our gifts and natural temperament are bound up with the idols that dominate any heart not filled with the gospel of grace. Without a thorough knowledge of the gospel, we look to good things—human approval and relationships, the exercise of power and accomplishment, the control of our environment and self-discipline, the enjoyment of comfort, privacy, and pleasure—and make them into pseudo-salvations. So the person who makes an idol out of human approval may be a sensitive artist and the one who makes an idol out of power might be a courageous leader. But gifts and temperament in the service of idols—and this is our normal state—always are a mixed blessing. They have a good side—they produce virtuous behavior—but they lead the person into a corresponding sin or vice as well. 

The final result of all this is that people cannot see their sins because they are looking only at their virtues. For example, someone may say: “I’m not abrasive, I just speak very directly.” It is true that a direct-speaking person may do good because direct, blunt comments are sometimes needed. But overall the abrasiveness is ineffective and the person’s boldness and confidence comes to some degree from pride and a lack of love. And for this reason, many (or perhaps most) Christians do not work on the supernatural graces of the spirit that are not natural to us, and that mitigate or eliminate the dark side—the besetting sins—of our nature. 

So how can we be shaken out of our lethargy and awakened to our need to grow? Here are some principles that I have gleaned from Newton’s letters over the years. 

1. Know that your worst character flaws are the ones you can see the least. 

By definition the sins to which you are most blind, that you make the most excuses for, and that you usually minimize—are the ones that most have you in their grip. As we said before, one way we hide our blemishes is that we look at places that our natural temperament resembles spiritual fruit. For example, a natural aptitude for control and self-discipline can be read as ‘faithfulness’, and a natural desire for personal approval could look like ‘gentleness’ or ‘love.’ Or we mistake a bubbly, sanguine temperament for joy, and a laid-back, phlegmatic temperament for peace. We give ourselves spiritual credit for these things, when actually we aren’t growing spiritually at all. The lack of other fruit shows that real supernatural character change is not happening.

2. Remember that you can’t learn about your biggest flaws just by being told—you must be shown.

There are two ways we come to see our sins and flaws more clearly. One way is that we are shown them by troubles and trials in life. Suffering is God’s gymnasium—it reveals our spiritual weaknesses just as a workout reveals physical weaknesses. 

Secondly, we learn by Christian role models. Sometimes the best conviction comes when you are brought near a person who is living as you should be living. You may not think of yourself as impatient, or abrasive, or over-sensitive until you are brought into close proximity to someone much more patient, irenic, and content than you. What this means is that we should make use of these opportunities to grow. They are painful—even being near very holy people can be uncomfortable! But it is at such times, when we most feel the need for grace, that we find God’s grace most desirable.

3. Be willing to listen to correction and critique from others. 

We just said that no one ever learned about his or her sins by being told. We have too many layers of self-justification to grow without hard knocks. But in addition, as a complement, we need critique and accountability from brothers and sisters. 

There are at least two kinds. First, you can create your own Hebrews 3:13 community. Hebrews 3:13 says we are to “exhort one another daily” so we are not “hardened by the deceptiveness of our sin.” Take some other believers that you trust and give them “a hunting license” to talk to you about where you need to grow. 

Secondly, don’t forget the “Balaam’s donkey” principle (Numbers 22). You must learn how to profit from criticism even given by people who are badly motivated, or who you don’t respect. Even if only 20% of what they say is true, it may be God speaking to you. 

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How Do I Help an Immodestly Dressed Teen at Church?

by Erin Davis
written by Erin Davis

 

There is a girl in church (or group of girls who wear totally inappropriate clothes to church. What do I say? 

Drop Your Stone

For those of us who have grown up in the church, the choices of non-Christians can often be alarming. But we need to stop being surprised when the lost act lost. It’s been my consistent experience that young women usually don’t dress immodestly because they want to ooze sexuality but simply because they don’t understand God’s heart on the issue.

Instead of passing down a list of rules for what we wear, the Bible encourages us to “wear” the qualities of Christ.

Let’s take a detour to a story that might help us see how to approach that young lady in your church like Jesus would.

In John 8, Jesus encountered a woman whose life was riddled with sexual sin, and she probably looked like it. She had been “caught in the act” of adultery after all. I doubt she had time to throw on modest clothing before she was dragged before Jesus. How does Jesus handle the issue?

First, He deals with the hearts of her accusers.

“Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her” (v.7).

Maybe you don’t come in to church wearing a spaghetti-strap top and way-too-short skirt, but did you bring anger, bitterness, resentment, or addiction? Immodesty is an easy-to-spot sin, but don’t come at that girl with judgment or frustration. Wait to approach her until you can do so in love.

Start with the Gospel

After the woman’s accusers realized they had too much of their own junk to make a case against someone else, they slowly slinked away. But that didn’t mean Jesus let the adulterous woman off the hook. He did confront her sin. Titus 2:3–5 gives us permission to speak truth into the lives of young women. Look how Jesus did it:

Jesus: “Has no one condemned you?”
Woman: “No one, Lord.”
Jesus: “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more” (vv. 10–11).

This is the simple, beautiful message of the gospel. There’s no doubt we are all guilty of sin. We can’t cover it up or talk our way out of it. The adulterous woman deserved the punishment the crowd wanted to give her. She was guilty. I deserve the punishment of death that is suitable for sinners. I am guilty. But Jesus offers the woman an exchange. Trade in condemnation for acceptance. Trade in shame for love. Trade in a life of sin to become a new creation.

Does that girl in the pew in front of you know the gospel? Has she turned her life over to Him? Just because she is in church doesn’t mean she has. When you approach her, start with the gospel.

Let’s Figure This Out Together

Long ago, I was a high school history teacher. Maybe that’s why my love for young women is so deep. I believe with my whole heart that middle school and high school girls can change the world.

Back in my teacher days, I had a saying the affected every lesson plan I wrote, “Whoever is doing the work is doing the learning.” Sure, you could download your thoughts on modesty to the young women in your world. They might think it matters. They probably won’t. But if you challenge them to open up the Bible for themselves and to discover God’s heart on this issue (or any issue) without an agenda, you will see them begin to understand.

This requires an important shift. We need to stop asking, “How can we get our girls to dress modestly?” and start asking, “How can we get our girls to be passionate students of God’s Word?” Hebrews 4:12 tells us that God’s Word works like a sword, surgically removing those parts of our hearts that don’t line up with the holiness of God. Which would you prefer? A girl who covers up out of obligation, or a girl who chooses to change because of God’s work in her through His Word?

Let me write your curriculum!

Here are some key verses and thoughts to get you and the girls in your church started.

“Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works” (1 Tim. 2:9–10).

This is a passage about what it should look like to be a woman of faith, but it is not a dress code. There’s no hem length mentioned here—no black and white rules about sleeves or no sleeves or the exact right place for a Christian woman’s neckline. In fact, this verse is less about the clothing we wear and more about God’s intention that we clothe ourselves with qualities that reflect Him.

Notice that right after Paul tells Timothy that women should dress modestly and avoid appearances designed to draw attention, he makes it clear what all women of faith should wear—”self-control” and “good works.” Obviously, those aren’t things that hang in my closet. When we talk to girls about the issue of modesty, we need to broaden the conversation to get them thinking about how the ways they present themselves reflect (or don’t reflect) Christ.

This is just a puzzle piece in the bigger picture of God’s heart for modesty presented in His Word:

  • Matthew 6:28–30 tells us not to be preoccupied with clothes, but instead to focus on the things of God.
  • 1 Corinthians 6:19–20 says our bodies are a temple of the Holy Spirit. Therefore, we are to honor God with our bodies.
  • 1 Peter 3:3–4 says that true beauty is internal. Nothing we could ever put on and nothing we could ever take off can give us the kind of true, lasting beauty that comes from Christ working in us.
  • 1 Peter 5:5–6 urges us to clothe ourselves with humility.
  • Proverbs 31:25 describes a woman who is clothed in strength and dignity.
  • Psalm 132:9 talks about being clothed in righteousness.

Instead of passing down a list of rules for what we wear, the Bible encourages us to “wear” the qualities of Christ. This is why you have to start with the gospel when approaching this issue. No one can wear the qualities of Christ until they have turned their lives over to Him.

Take Her Shopping!

I’m not sure if you’ve ventured into a teenage clothing store in the mall lately, but being a young woman with a commitment to modesty and purity isn’t easy. Marketers aren’t pushing girls toward the “respectable apparel” that Paul mentioned in 1 Timothy but toward the opposite. If the girls in your church are going to live like Christ has called them to in this area, they are going to need reinforcements. Care for her heart, first, through love and Bible study, but then help her give teeth to what she’s learning by venturing with her into the mall with ideas and encouragement.

Yes, modesty matters! But the hearts of the young women in your world matter so much more. Can you swap the adulterous woman found in the story in John 8 with a girl in your world? If so, will you ask the Lord to help you respond to her like He would by sharing the gospel in love?

Originally posted on www.reviveourhearts.com. 


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Jesus’ Teachings on The Revolutionary Christian Heart

by Tim Keller
written by Tim Keller

One of the more striking things about the gospel of Mark (and the other gospels) is how much attention Jesus gives to the human heart. The core of the story of Jesus’ healing of the paralytic is how “He knew in his spirit…. what they were thinking in their hearts” (Mark 2:8). 

He not only discerned the heart thoughts and motives of his critics, but also those of the paralyzed man, to whose unarticulated longings for forgiveness Jesus responds. In Mark 3:5 Jesus is deeply distressed at “stubborn hearts” and in Mark 7:6 he condemns people who praise God in worship and yet “their hearts are far from me.” Indeed, Jesus startles his listeners when he says that what condemns us is what comes “out of the heart” (Mark 7:19, 21). Compliance with the law and religious observance mean nothing if the heart’s motives and purposes are not set on God rather than on human approval or on self-congratulation. We can only please God and be free if he is the object of our heart’s greatest love (Mark 12:30, 33).

For the Greeks and Romans, the great human struggle was between the mind (which they believed was resident in the soul) and the passions (which they believed were resident in the body.) If you wanted to achieve strength, courage, self-control, and wisdom, you learned to sublimate the emotions to the dictates of reason. 

For modern people, the great struggle is almost the reverse. We believe our deepest feelings are “who we really are” and we must not repress or deny them. The great human struggle is between the emotions and a repressive society that so often stands in the way of self-expression and realization. 

The Bible teaches neither of the above. It says the human struggle happens within a single entity — the human heart. The main human struggle is not between the heart and something else, but between forces that tear it in different directions. The great battle is deciding to what your heart’s greatest love, hope, and trust will be directed.

The “heart” to English speakers means the emotions. But the Bible also says our thinking comes from the heart (Geneses 6:5; Proverbs 23:7; Daniel 2:30) as well as our willing, our plans and decisions (Proverbs 16:1,9; Matthew 12:33-34). This confuses us until we realize the Bible’s view of human nature is revolutionary, different than what you find in other human systems of thought.  

The heart is used as a metaphor for the seat of our most basic orientation, our deepest commitments — what we trust the most (Proverbs 3:5; 23:26); it is what we most love and hope in, what we most treasure, what captures our imagination (Matthew 6:21). Every heart has an inclination (Genesis 6:5), something it is directed toward. The direction of the heart, then, controls everything — our thinking, feeling, and decisions and actions. What we most love we find reasonable, desirable, and doable. Whatever we cherish in our hearts most controls the whole person. No wonder Jesus is so concerned about our hearts. No wonder God ignores outward matters and looks supremely at the heart (1 Samuel 16:7; 1 Corinthians 4:5; Jeremiah 17:10) No wonder the prophets said that the goal of salvation is not mere compliance but having the law “written on the heart” through spiritual rebirth (Jeremiah 31:33.) We always, in the end, do what the heart wants the most.

The biblical understanding of the heart is culturally revolutionary. When Saint Augustine wrote his Confessions, the ancient world had never seen anything like it. 

He explored his past, his history, and the internal motivations that moved him. The reason the classical age never produced such a work was because, in its view, internal motives and feelings were inconsequential, merely things to be overcome. On the other hand, our contemporary culture has no way — as Augustine had — to sift emotions, to discover which of them are liberating because they lead us away from the misery of self-absorption, and which are enslaving. 

You can’t change merely by changing your thinking, or through great acts of will, but rather by changing what you love most. Change happens not only by giving your mind new truths — though it does involve that — but also by feeding the imagination new beauties so you love Jesus supremely. We change when we change what we worship the most. How do we do that? By seeing that Jesus’ own heart was crushed and broken as he died on the Cross for us (Psalm 22:14). It is as we worship a crucified Savior that our hearts are transformed.

www.timothykeller.com.

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7 Keys to End the Crime of Boring Preaching

by Brandon Cox
written by Brandon Cox

If you think the gathering of biblical facts and standing up with a Bible in your hand will automatically equip you to communicate well, you are desperately mistaken. It will not. You must work at being interesting. Boredom is a gross violation, being dull is a grave offense, and irrelevance is a disgrace to the gospel. Too often these three crimes go unpunished and we preachers are the criminals. ~ Charles Swindoll

In a previous pastorate, I began preaching through the entire Bible. I almost made it through 2 Samuel when we were called away to join the Saddleback Church staff, but we managed to grow both spiritually and numerically through those four years.

One of the biggest fears people had when we began that journey together was, “Aren’t some parts of the Bible boring?”

Yes and no.

Yes, parts of the Bible can be boring if we don’t read with discernment. But when we put ourselves in the shoes of people who lived during the times of which we’re reading about, then transport ourselves to our 2009 culture, God’s truth unveils itself in radically doable ways.

Still, Swindoll is right, we preachers must work at being interesting.

Here are some tips for doing just that…

Laugh A Little

One Pastor I know tells a joke every Sunday from the pulpit. I don’t recommend it for everybody, but there were two conditions present at his church when he arrived there: a prevailing spirit of negativity and discouragement, and his own comedic personality. For his congregation, laughter became therapeutic.

The joke-a-week may not always be the best approach, but do be willing to laugh, especially at yourself. It’s one of the most disarming things you can do. Your vulnerability and authenticity will definitely break down barriers between you and your listeners.

 

Make Eye Contact

Sounds basic, yet every week Pastors stand before their congregations and read manuscripts or stare over the heads of the crowd. Make eye contact with as many individuals as possible all around the room. You’ll be amazed at the personal connection and unspoken response that takes place.

Do Something Visual

Slides can become an enemy of interesting rather quickly, but if used creatively, provide a visual enhancement, especially with a video illustration. Just remember these tips…

·       Use slides sparingly

·       Feature only the few biggest points

·       No bullets! Just one point on one slide.

·       Keep the graphics consistent, preferably the sermon series graphics.

Going visual doesn’t even require a screen. You can offer a prop or an object lesson as long as it isn’t cheesy, and as long as you’re using them to illustrate truth rather than impress people.

I’ve played Jenga (with the inevitable crash at the end) to illustrate our attempt to build a life on our own efforts. We’ve handed out puzzle pieces during a sermon about finding our right spot to serve in God’s family.

I remember Pastor Jason Pettus eating (and giving everyone in the room) a small pack of m&m’s once as he talked about having both a ministry and a mission. And I heard that message a decade and a half ago, testifying to how “sticky” his point was.

Be Real and Authentic

I try to find ways I might be speaking in a minister’s tone and I weed it out of my public speaking. When chatting with a neighbor, you don’t point like a dog with one leg in the air, rock back and forth on your feet with a ministerial bounce, or take three syllables to mention the name of JEE-UH-ZUSSS!!

How would you share your message with just one person in the back of the room? Do that. Not once have I ever had a casual coffee conversation and said the words, “I submit to you today that… this coffee is pretty strong.”

And being real and authentic goes much deeper, too. Many pastors are afraid of being authentic because they fear that people will walk away or lose respect based on the pastor’s weaknesses, or knowing to many details.

Here are three things to remember about real, authentic preaching…

1.    You don’t have to be transparent with everyone about the details of your life – just a few close friends will do – but you can be authentic with everyone.

2.    The longer you lead without being authentic, the more you’ll begin to wonder who you really are. Inauthenticity always leads to burnout.

3.    Authenticity is a bridge builder. People draw nearer when we’re willing to be vulnerable.

Can being authentic get you in trouble? Yes. It got Jesus in trouble, often. But in the end, it’s always worth it.

Be as Honest as the Bible and as Compassionate as Jesus

Let me be clear – though I believe in being interesting, it’s most important to be biblical and forthright. You’re still fulfilling a prophetic role of forth-telling.

There seems to be a popular notion today among pastors that the more harsh a point is, the more biblical it must be. But we’re challenged to speak the truth in love, with a view toward redemption and restoration, not judgment and alienation. Our speech should be seasoned with grace.

Truth is interesting when it’s presented in raw form and Jesus modeled this principle. And in the end, sinners didn’t run away from him – they ran toward him.

Connect Their World to Your World

It’s great to know what David, Moses, and Paul did, but what should you and I do?

It’s important to understand the attributes of God, now how should I live in light of them?

Find the principles worth living in whatever passage you’re preaching from, and present them with urgency, passion, and a call to action.

Use Verbs

James told us to be “doers of the word and not hearers only.” In fact, most of us already know more than we’re doing.

Words are powerful, and they are the tools of our trade. Use powerful words that communicate a challenge to act.

Repent! Believe! Love! Serve! Give! Read! Share! Pray!

The Christian life is made up of verbs, so use them in your message, and as often as possible, use verbs as the very points of your message. Use active language, not passive language.

If you’ve read all of this with your spiritual arms folded in disgust thinking to yourself, “Well, we’re not here to entertain people!” then listen to this point – someone will.

To “entertain” means to hold someone’s attention.

I think it’s sinful to be unfaithful to Scripture in our preaching, but isn’t it also harmful to misrepresent such a dynamic, living and loving God by communicating to people that his book is boring?

Work at being interesting. The destinies of some might just be moved by it!

www.brandoncox.com. 

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Articles

How to Influence Your Child for Christ

by John MacArthur
written by John MacArthur

You can’t save your children. You can raise them in the fear and admonition of the Lord, guard them from the sinful influences and temptations of the world, and cocoon them in the fellowship of others who know and love God. But in the end, their repentance and faith cannot be inherited or manufactured—salvation is God’s work, not yours. As a parent, your influence can only go so far.

The Wrong Kind of Influence

Having said that, I want to stress that sometimes—I should say often—parents are partly to blame for their wayward children’s rebellion. And it has been my observation over the years that parents are generally more to blame for wayward kids than society, peers, or any of the other influences parents tend to blame. I occasionally encounter parents who have violated nearly every biblical principle of parenting, who nonetheless come to the pastor seeking some kind of absolution from the responsibility for their children’s defiance. They want verbal assurance that they are in no way to blame; someone else is.

Yet God Himself has given the responsibility for raising children to parents—not to schoolteachers, peers, child-care workers, or other people outside the family—and therefore it is wrong for parents to attempt to unload that responsibility or shift the blame when things go wrong.

Parents must involve themselves in their children’s lives enough to insure that no other influence takes precedence. To parents who complain that their kids’ failures are the kids’ friends’ fault, my inevitable reply is that ultimately the parents themselves must be to blame, because they were the ones who allowed peers to have more input into their kids’ lives than they have themselves.

Blame and Accountability

Some parents will no doubt cynically roll their eyes at that, and insist that it is unrealistic in this day and age to expect parents to influence their kids more than peers, the culture, television, schoolteachers, and all the other factors that vie for a controlling interest in the typical child’s life.

Still, a moment’s reflection will reveal why parents in our culture have less influence on their kids than peer groups do: Most parents have simply abdicated the parental role. They have turned their kids over to their peers. They have invested less time in teaching their kids than the amount of time they have permitted the kids to watch television. They have permitted much of—if not all—their children’s spiritual, moral, and ethical instruction to come from television, movies, music, and other children. Even in the best cases, parents rely too much on school teachers, Sunday-school teachers, and youth leaders—all outside the purview of the family. Parents must realize that character is neither inbred by genetics nor picked up by osmosis. Children are taught to be what they become. If they have become something other than what the parents hoped for, it is usually because they have simply learned from those who were there to teach them in their parents’ absence.

In other words, the parents, not the kids—and not even the peer groups—are ultimately to blame for the parents’ diminishing influence in our culture. Whenever outside influences shape a child’s character more than the parents, the parents have failed in their duties. It is as simple as that.

Christian parents today desperately need to own this simple principle. Before the throne of God we will be held accountable if we have turned our children over to other influences that shape their character in ungodly ways. God has placed in our hands the responsibility of bringing our children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, and we will give account to God for our stewardship of this great gift. If others have more influence on our children than we, we are culpable, not excusable, on those grounds.

Your Full-Time Job

God has made parenting a full-time responsibility. There are no coffee breaks from our parental duties. This principle was even built into the law at Sinai. God prefaced His instructions to the Israelites with this solemn charge:

These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. (Deuteronomy 6:6–7)

That is God’s own definition of the parents’ task. It means parenting is a full-time assignment in every sense of the expression. No phase of life is exempt. Not one hour of the day is excluded. There is no time-out for the parent who wants to be faithful to this calling.

Some parents think they can compartmentalize their child’s life, assign a set number of hours per week to spend on parenting, and then fulfill their duties as parents by making sure the hours they put into the task are “quality time.” That whole philosophy is contrary to the spirit of Deuteronomy 6:7, and it is a sure way to guarantee that outside influences will have more influence than the parents in shaping the child’s character.

Parental Neglect

The history of Old Testament Israel is an object lesson about the dangers of neglecting this vital principle. Israel failed miserably when it came to the duty of teaching their children about God’s righteousness. Consider this telling verse about the generation of Israelites who first entered the Promised Land. And note that this was merely one generation after God had first given the law at Sinai:

The people served the Lord all the days of Joshua, and all the days of the elders who survived Joshua, who had seen all the great work of the Lord which He had done for Israel. . . . All that generation also were gathered to their fathers and there arose another generation arose after them who did not know the Lord, nor yet the work which He had done for Israel. (Judges 2:7, 10)

In other words, that whole generation of Israelites failed in their responsibility. They neglected to teach their children about the things God had done for Israel. And as a consequence, the next generation turned away from the Lord en masse:

Then the sons of Israel did evil in the sight of the Lord and served the Baals, and they forsook the Lord, God of their fathers, who had brought them out of the land of Egypt, and followed other gods from among the gods of the people who were around them, and bowed themselves down to them; thus they provoked the Lord to anger. So they forsook the Lord and served Baal and the Ashtoreth. (Judges 2:11–13)

The children turned to the evil gods of the Canaanites. Their environment influenced them more than their parents did because the parents abdicated the parental role. The result was idolatry, chaos, and destruction. “Everyone did what was right in his own eyes” (Judges 21:25).

The same pattern was repeated again and again throughout Israel’s history. Whenever a generation of parents neglected to plant the seeds that would provide shade trees for subsequent generations, the children suffered the spiritual famine that inevitably followed.

The same thing is still occurring to this day. Right now the outlook for the next generation is as bleak as it has ever been. And there will be no turnaround unless this generation of Christian parents resumes the full-time work of planting spiritual shade trees.

Proper Parenting and Personal Priorities

For many parents, the first step toward getting back on track must be a fresh commitment to the things of God for themselves. If our own priorities in life are askew, there’s no hope of teaching our children what they need to learn.

Parents, take inventory in your own hearts. Do you thirst for God as the deer pants after the water? Or is your own life sending your children a message of hypocrisy and spiritual indifference? Is your own commitment to Christ what you hope to see in your children’s lives? Is your obedience to His Word the same kind of submission you long to see from your own kids?

Those are crucial questions each parent must face if we really want to be successful parents and good role models for our children. For parents to be derelict in their own spiritual lives is tantamount to cutting down all the shade trees for the next generation in their family.

Christian parents—be encouraged. You have a responsibility before God to use your influence with your children for His glory and their good. But the weight of their eternity is not on your shoulders—remember they’re not born morally neutral. God will use whatever means He chooses to draw His people to Himself. Pray He will use you in the lives of your children, and trust that He is faithful even through your failures.

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Articles

Three Faces of Courage

by Andy Stanley
written by Andy Stanley

In life, in our history, in our experience and in everything we do, oftentimes a single act of courage is the tipping point for something extraordinary.

A single expression or act of courage can begin a transition point for something absolutely extraordinary.

It begins a transition that takes people by surprise.

The individuals involved often have no idea what they are a part of. Dec 1, 1955 – a 42 year-old African American woman decided not to give up her seat on a bus to a white man. Rosa Parks became an international symbol for racial equality.

You can go back through every part of history and see individuals or small groups of people making single acts of courage that. This should be of particular interest to those of us who are Christians.

Throughout the Bible we see the very same thing: men and women who display courage that brings them onto the scene of history. 

• Abraham decided to leave his home and follow God – a nation was born.

• Moses returned to Egypt to face Pharaoh – a tipping point for the nation of Israel.

• Joshua crossing the River.

• Joseph forgiving his brothers.

• David facing Goliath.

• Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego

• Joseph deciding to marry his fiance Mary.

The problem with all of these stories is that they are so big and dramatic. If we found ourselves in those circumstances and someone told us how they would end it would be easy to take courage. In our everyday life things don’t seem so big or dramatic. In spite of the fact that our stories won’t be so dramatic, there are still opportunities and circumstances that will be extraordinary in our lives.

Challenges and moments of fear in our lives will represent tipping points for our lives. It won’t be as dramatic or public or the things legends are made of, but in our lives and in our context, there will be multiple circumstances that will demand the kind of courage we tend to shrink back from. It will be a tipping point for something extraordinary in our life and in our ministry.

 

3 Faces of Courage

 

1 – Courage to stay when it would be easier to go.

 

• “When I look around at the circumstances everything in me says, “go.” But when I get on my knees and ask God, He tells me to stay.” – Charles Stanley

• Some of us are in tough environments right now and that makes dealing with life difficult. There’s nothing going on.

• Sometimes it would be easier to go. We’ve maybe even had options to run from our problems.

• Whenever everything around us says, “go” but we know in our hearts that God wants us to stay in the midst of our trials, our decision to stay may be the single act of courage that is the tipping point for something extraordinary in our lives. You will never know unless you stay. For all of us in life or in our ministry, something in us will want to leave when God wants us to stay.

 

2 – Courage to leave, when it would be easier to stay.

 

• I faced the challenge of choosing to go or stay with my father’s ministry. Sometimes we have to walk away from something. Sometimes we have to walk away, not to something, but we just have to walk away. To walk away can oftentimes feel irresponsible. I read the book A Tale of Three Kings and had a moment of clarity. “Beginning empty-handed and alone, frightens the best of men. It also speaks volumes of just how sure they are God is with them.”

• I chose to go. From that decision, North Point Community Church was born.

• 4 years into our ministry at North Point, my wife said to him, “What if we hadn’t left?”

• You have no idea what God will do hanging in the balance of the decisions you make.

• Sometimes God will tell you to go and it will be easier to stay when we keep the status quo. 

• That decision, that expression of courage is our Goliath… that’s it.

• It’s not dramatic and no one will ever know besides us and God, but that single

decision could be the tipping point for something extraordinary in our lives and in our ministry.

• Some of you need to quit what you are doing and go back to school.

• Some of you need to leave the marketplace and go into ministry or follow your calling.

 

3 – Courage to ask for help, when it would be easier to pretend like everything’s okay.

 

• Secrets are dangerous.

• Secrets grow into ugly things in our dark places of our hearts.

• Secrets are what take Christians out, not theology.

• You can lose places of influence because of your secrets.

• You won’t ask for help because you are afraid.

• One of the most courageous steps you could take is the step to get help.

• Secrets influence the way you live and lead others.

• When you carry a secret you compensate for it in your leadership.

• It’s more important for you to get help. Ask for it!

• In leadership, you’re at the front and it’s harder at the front.

• You face more pressure, more responsibility, criticism, etc. You can bury yourself in work and activities.

• That makes it even more difficult to compensate for it in your leadership.

• Whatever you fear secretly, you will often over-compensate.

• You are afraid of what people will think about you and what you will find out about

yourself.

• The simple act of asking for help may be the most courageous thing you ever do as a Christian.

• By refusing to ask for help, you may be robbed of the extraordinary thing God wants to do in you and through you.

• If someone you love and trust says, “Maybe you should get some help with that…” you should!

• One of the expressions of courage we must face is to be willing to have the courage to ask for help.

 

What you should be afraid of…

 

• Our greatest fear for our lives should be waking up and realizing we are outside of God’s will for our lives.

• There’s nothing worse than not having the confidence that you are where you need to be, doing what God is calling you to do.

• If you lead without confidence it will show.

• If we have the fear of the Lord we won’t do anything that moves us out of the center of His will for our lives, our family, our ministry, etc.

• Fear the Lord more than what people say about us, than poverty, than missing the break-out moment.

• Ask: “When this is all over, when this all said and done, what story do I want to tell?”

• As you think about the tension you are living in, what story do you want to tell?

• Tell the story of making the courageous decision.

• If God says go, go.

• If God says stay, stay.

• If God says disclose, stay hones! 

Those expressions of courage may be the tipping point of the extraordinary thing God wants to do in and through your life.

Andy Stanley, Catalyst. Notes by timschraeder.com. Used by permission of Catalyst leadership.

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Articles

Devoted Friendships: A Prized Possession

by Don McMinn
written by Don McMinn

According to celebrity tabloids and talk shows, the rich and famous seem to flaunt friendships for their own personal benefit. One day the paparazzi record starlets who are devoted to each other, and the next day they are scratching out each other’s eyes. The whole idea of a devoted friendship is lost in photos and sound bytes. 

In a world that spins people and stories at cyber speed, we need to put on the brakes and examine our Lord’s example of being deeply devoted to others. Even in the church, as we try to be all things to all people, we can fail at devoted friendship. 

The Greek word for devotion is philostorgos, which means “to cherish one’s kindred, to be fond of, to be fraternal toward fellow Christians, tenderly loving and tenderly affectionate.” Devotion implies a deep level of commitment and is perhaps the only “one another” we can, in some measure, ration out. 

The Lord had the 12 disciples to whom he was deeply devoted, but among them three — Peter, James and John – were His closest confidantes. He did not love them any more than the others, but he did feel called to spend more time with them, and he allowed them to know him in ways the others did not. The three were invited to be with Christ on the Mount of Transfiguration, perhaps the highlight of his earthly ministry, and in the Garden of Gethsemane, arguably the lowest point of his earthly ministry. 

Likewise in our lives, we will know and love many people, but a natural yearning will cause us to be devoted to only a fraction of our friends. I can’t maintain a close relationship with hundreds of people, yet there are some for whom I would drop what I am doing at a moment’s notice to respond to their needs. 

What does it mean to be devoted to someone? From Jesus’ example, we glean some different things.

 

  • Value – Devotion implies value, worth and importance.  “You are such an important part of my life; I can’t imagine life without you.”
  • Commitment – Nothing will stand in the way of my devotion; no excuses. “I am committed to you. I pledge to be lovingly involved in your life.”
  • Long-term commitment – We are in this relationship for the long haul. “I will walk with you through the good times and bad.”
  • Priority – When we are devoted to someone, that person takes precedence over other things. “I will always prioritize our relationship. When necessary, you will be the sole focus of my attention.”
  • Meeting needs – Devotion is an attitude, a mind-set, a state of the heart, but it will inevitably manifest itself in practical ways. “I will am concerned about your physical, emotional and spiritual needs and delight in helping to meet them.”
  • Faithfulness – Relational security comes from knowing we will be consistently faithful to the end. “I am going to bind myself to you. I hope my deep commitment will make you feel secure.”
  • Vulnerable communication – For a relationship to deepen, we must get below surface issues and talk about issues of the heart: struggles, fears, doubts, aspirations, dreams and frustrations. “I am willing to share the deep issues of my life and you can trust me with yours. I want to know you in a deep, intimate way.”
  • Tenderness – Looking beyond their faults, we feel tender affection, softness and warmth for our devoted. “You are very dear to me” sums this up nicely.
  • Consistency – Consistent love is something we must aspire to give in all of our relationships, but in order to communicate a deep sense of devotion to someone, this is essential. “You can count on me to be a consistent source of love and care.”
  • Love, even unto death – When we are truly devoted to someone, that life is more valuable than our own. Jesus emphasizes this deep level of love in John 15:13: “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” 

The most precious possessions I have in life are those friends to whom I am devoted and who are devoted to me. Without them, life would be very empty.

 

www.donmcminn.com. Used by permission. 

 

 

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Ask Roger

What Happens to America in the End Times?

by Roger Barrier
written by Roger Barrier

Dear Roger,

What happens to America in the end times?

Sincerely, Peter

Dear Peter,

The quick and simple answer is that no one knows. However, there are some Biblical and political possibilities.

Let me begin by listing for you the major predictive passages in the Bible. The Book of Revelation promises a blessing to those who read and understand these prophetic truths. Daniel relates in the final chapter of his book that God will open up the prophetical books at the end times so that those with wisdom can discern what is coming.

The primary predictive passages are Ezekiel 37-39, Daniel 2 and 7-12; Matthew 24-25; 1 Thessalonians 4:13-5:11; 2 Thessalonians 2:1-12; and Revelation 4-22.
I see at least three possibilities for what happens to the United States in the end times. First, America is not even around for the end times. The average lifespan of large, significant Kingdom or national empires is about 300 years. Most of them fall apart because of military action from their neighbors other by collapsing from the inside as evidenced by a loss of any one or more of the following factors: values and morals; a collapsing of the fabric of their society; using up natural resources; changes in weather patterns; as well as a deteriorating relationship with their trade partners—among other equally significant factors .You can decide for yourself whether or not you think America will exist as a nation much longer based on these factors.

By the way, most cultures go through three-recurring-generational cycles before finally breaking down. These cycles occur multiple times through the Biblical book of Judges. The first generation fights the battles. The second generation enjoys the benefits. The third generation gives it all back again. The cycle then repeats.

Second, if America is still in existence in the final days, she may align herself with the nations united from the territories of the old Roman Empire. These aligned nations will be led by the Antichrist to invade Israel immediately after he inviolates the peace treaty he signed with Israel just three and one-half years earlier. If America has commitments pledging her allegiance and assistance to the nations of Europe—and keeps them—she will most likely meet her doom at the Battle of Armageddon.

Finally, Revelation 12:13-17 has an oblique reference to an “eagle” which saves Israel from destruction by the devil. Since the eagle is the national bird of the United States, some postulate that this eagle saving the woman is a symbolic picture of the U.S. stepping in to protect Israel at the commencement of the Battle of Armageddon. The characters in Revelation 12 are identified from the easy to decipher descriptions of each in the following verses I have identified with parenthesis the participants in the action above.

When the dragon (Satan) saw that he had been hurled to the earth, he pursued the woman (Israel) who had given birth to the male child (Jesus). The woman was given the two wings of a great eagle (the United States?), so that she might fly to the place prepared for her in the desert, where she would be taken care of for a time, times and half a time, out of the serpent’s reach. Then from his mouth the serpent spewed water like a river, to overtake the woman and sweep her away with the torrent. But the earth helped the woman by opening its mouth and swallowing the river that the dragon had spewed out of his mouth. Then the dragon was enraged at the woman and went off to make war against the rest of her offspring — those who obey God’s commandments and hold to the testimony of Jesus.

Well, Peter, while no one knows with any degree of certainty the answer to your question, I hope I have given you some options to consider.

Love, Roger

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Ask Roger

Are You Fighting Contrary Winds?

by Roger Barrier
written by Roger Barrier

Dear Roger,

My life is getting more and more difficult. It seems that everything I do is a struggle. I pray to God to make things smoother; but it seems that life is just getting rougher. I feel like I’m slogging my feet through deep sand. It’s not more than I can bear; but it sure seems that way. Can you help me?

Sincerely, Kyle

 

Dear Kyle,

 

Let me answer your query by referring to a Bible story with principles that have guided me for years. It’s amazing how some truths stick with you for a lifetime.

 

I believe that if these truths have worked well for me, then they’ll work for you, too!

 

After feeding the 5000, Jesus instructed his disciples to get in the boat and go to the other side of the Sea of Galilee. Jesus dismissed the crowds and then went to a quiet place to pray. But things were not going well on the boat.

 

“But the ship was now in the midst of the sea, tossed with waves: for the wind was contrary” (Matthew 14: 24) (KJV).

 

“For the wind was contrary”. In other words, it was blowing the wrong way.

 

Kyle, you’re not alone. Most all of us, at one time or another, are torn by winds blowing the wrong way. Wherever we turn the wind seems against us.

 

Contrary winds can blow from any direction. Broken homes, loss of jobs, sickness, death, accidents, children who don’t turn out right, parents who should never be parents, marriages that break and cause great heartache, sexual abuse, verbal abuse and physical abuse roar and rage against us.

 

Kyle, let me share a little story with you.

A mother noticed all was quiet in back yard. She thought that she had better go check on the children. Outside, she saw her children huddled around a mother skunk and four baby skunks all plugged in and getting their morning meal. As soon as she recovered her speaking voice, she cried, “Run, children, run!” And each child picked up a baby skunk and ran.

 

I meet people every day who are carrying an old skunk that the wind has blown to them and they can’t seem to get rid of it.

 

The winds on the Sea of Galilee were ferocious that night. The Disciples wanted to go west toward home. They were being blown back east!

 

Sometimes, no matter which direction we turn, were always fighting a headwind.

 

Let me share some truths about contrary winds in the hope that you will be better able to withstand them.

 

FIRST: CONTRARY WINDS COME TO ALL CHRISTIANS.

 

I’ve heard some imply that if you’re a Christian you should never have to struggle.

 

Nothing could be further from the truth. All Christians feel the wind at times blowing against them!

Cares go with having a body. Cares go with having a family. When my friends weep; I weep. We have cares because we are fighting Satan. Satan’s fighting us!

 

Don’t ever think that because you’re a Christian and because you have cares, that you’re abnormal. All of God’s people have cares.

 

In Psalm 73, Asaph is going through a rough time. It seems that his unbelieving friends have more blessings than he. He complains that their kids are healthy and his are sick. Their houses are in great shape and his roof is caving in. His non-Christian friends are being promoted and he’s worked the same job for years.

 

He almost concludes that if God really cared, he wouldn’t be fighting a headwind.

 

So Asaph declared, “It’s not worth it for me to be a believer!”

 

God replied, “Your problem is that you’re looking in the present. Look on down the line!”

 

Asaph then tells us, “I went into the sanctuary of the Lord and I opened my eyes and saw that God had placed the unbelievers on slippery places.”

 

Contrary winds might blow in our faces but, no Christian ever stands in a slippery place. It might be a hard place, but it’s not a slippery place because our feet are on the rock.

 

SECOND, CONTRARY WINDS OFTEN STRENGTHEN US FOR MORE DIFFICULT THINGS.

 

When winds blow against us it’s a challenge to rise up and walk anyway.

 

A contrary wind blew away John Milton’s eyesight. He stood against the wind and wrote, “Paradise Lost”.

 

Contrary winds destroyed my daughter Brianna’s health. She writhes in constant pain and writes with all of her heart. She has now raised a billion dollars for non-profit ministries. Only God could have given her the strength to stand in the storm.

 

Contrary winds blowing against us today strengthen us to do greater things for God tomorrow.

 

THIRD, CONTRARY WINDS OFTEN BLOW US TO SOMETHING BETTER.

 

A contrary wind blew Paul from a life of Christian-hating, scheming, murdering Pharisee to the greatest Christian messenger God ever had.

 

A ship sank leaving one lone survivor. Days passed with no rescue. He built a shack, still no rescue. One day he his cook-fire burned out of control and burned down his hut and all of his possessions. “What else could be worse? This is the worst day of my life!” Then he heard a ship’s horn and a small boat coming to shore. “Ahoy!” they shouted. “We saw your smoke and have come to rescue you!”

 

We’ll find that contrary winds, those troubles and heartaches which hurt us so much, will often blow us to something better if we’ll just open our eyes to see it!

 

FINALLY, CONTRARY WINDS BRING JESUS TO US!

 

Contrary winds brought the disciples troubles and problems. But, in the midst of contrary winds, here came Jesus walking on the water.

 

Peter asked, “May I come to you walking on the water?”

 

When trouble comes, when life falls in, then look up and see Jesus because contrary winds will bring Jesus to us every time.

 

Jesus comes when the winds are contrary winds because He cares for us.

 

“Cast all your anxiety on him because He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7).

 

Lay hold of that! Christians have cares and Jesus cares for us.

 

Wouldn’t it be great if we could pay Jesus to do our worrying for us?

 

But why should we pay? He’s offered to do it for free!

 

Well Kyle, I hope you are at peace knowing that contrary winds are normal for Christians. Rejoice that they often strengthen us and that their gale force brings us to better things. Finally, I hope you’ll experience the care of Jesus whenever the winds are contrary.

 

Sincerely, Roger

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Articles

Protect Your Kids: Transgender Bathrooms

by Russell Moore
written by Russell Moore

It’s not about sex, it’s about safety. “Last night my preteen daughters cried, afraid of going to a bathroom or locker room at school.”-Brianna Wetherbee.

TO SIGN A PETITION PROTESTING LEGISLATION, CLICK HERE.

Here are Dr. Russell Moore’s thoughts on the subject:

“The New York Times reported that the Obama Administration would issue a decree directing every public school in the nation to allow bathroom access on the basis of self-identity, not biological sex. I’m quite aware of the White House’s place in our culture wars, and even I am surprised. If anyone had suggested in 2009 that the new President’s administration would seek to target children’s bathrooms for the sake of transgender ideology, the White house would have ridiculed it as a crazy conspiracy theory. So, for those suggesting that state legislatures seeking to define such questions were working on “solutions without a problem,” well, here’s your problem. So why is this important, and what should the church do?

First of all, we should recognize what’s really happening here, and it’s much bigger than the symbol of the bathrooms. The Department of Education’s actions here mean that “gender” itself in terms of admission for all colleges accepting federal funds is ultimately a matter of identification, not biological sex. The state here wishes to use its coercive power not simply to stop mistreatment of people but to rescript the most basic human intuitions about humanity as male and female. How, after all, does one win a culture war against one of the most basic facts of science and life: that there are two sexes? One does so by withholding the funds and recognition necessary to operate in public space, unless institutions get in line. Children, then, become pawns of the state for the state to teach what is ultimately a theological lesson, not a scientific one.

This, ultimately, won’t work. There are good reasons to put boys and girls in different bathrooms and locker rooms and sometimes sports teams, reasons that don’t impugn the dignity of people but uphold it. Sex-differentiated bathrooms and sports teams and dormitories for men and women aren’t the equivalent of, say, a terrorist Jim Crow state unnaturally forcing people apart based on a fiction, useful to the powerful, that skin color is about superiority and inferiority. Every human being knows that there are important, and necessary, differences between men and women. Without such recognition, women are harmed and men are coarsened.

Moreover, the move here toward severing self-identity from biological reality will hardly stop at “gender.” If anything, there’s much more of a case to be made that one can feel to be a different age than one’s doctor’s exam or birth certificate would show. That’s relatively indifferent if all that this means is “You’re only as old as you feel” or “I’m a Millennial trapped in a Gen-X body.” It’s something else entirely if chronological self-identity is mandated for military service or the drinking age or the age of consent. People and neighborhoods and nations and cultures cannot live this way.

In the meantime, what should the church do?

First, we must bear witness to the goodness of what it means to live as creatures, not as self-defining gods and goddesses. God created us as human, and within humanity as male and female (Gen. 1:27). We are all sinners, so we chafe against having ourselves defined by a Creator, and not by ourselves or our ideologies. Our nakedness shames us, because our physical difference reminds us that we are not self-contained. Man needs woman, and woman needs man. I really do not contain multitudes. My maleness and your femaleness aren’t about us at all. They fit us within a much larger stream—of a species by nature and of a communion by grace.

The church must teach God’s good creation design of male and female, yes. But, beyond that, the church should teach a Christian anthropology that shows us that living within creation limits is never easy for anyone. We are all seeking to transcend our limits in various ways. The way of discipleship is to settle on the fact that we serve a God who knows more about humanity, and more about us personally, than we know about ourselves.

At the same time, the church should not see everything through the grid of gender. The be his brother’s wife. That will take courage and compassion and, above all, it will take Christ.”

http://www.russellmoore.com

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How to Be a Successful Introvert: Fake It!

by Don McMinn
written by Don McMinn

“There are times when I am so unlike myself that I might be taken for someone else of an entirely opposite character.” Jean-Jacques Rousseau, Confessions, 1782

Last night Mary and I hosted our neighborhood’s monthly dinner party. From 7:00 to 11:00 p.m. our home was filled to capacity with people.

I struggle at these events because I am the archetypal introvert. My idea of a good evening is to sequester myself in my study and read a book. I would rather chew on cut glass than have to be “on” for four hours at a social event.

But last night I played the part. I was a gregarious, talkative, engaging host.

Was I being disingenuous and hypocritical? I don’t think so, because sometimes we need to act like someone we’re not. Psychologists have a term for this: counter-dispositional behavior.

I learned this lesson from psychology professor Brian Little’s book titled Me, Myself, and Us: The Personality and the Art of Well-Being. Little teaches a large, popular psychology course at Harvard. Though he is an introvert, his teaching style is very animated and energetic, so much so that his students are always surprised to hear him admit that when he’s teaching, he’s also acting. Little explains and defends his behavior in chapter three of his book: Free Traits: On Acting Out of Character.

I’m a big proponent of authenticity; we all need to discover how we are unique, accept the distinctions, and live authentically. Be your true self because therein lies deep satisfaction. Long term, you cannot sustain inauthentic behavior. But in the short term you can, and sometimes should, fake it.

Dr. Little says there are two main reasons why counter-dispositional behavior is often necessary — for professional reasons and for love.

If certain aspects of your work require you to be someone you’re not, have the emotional fortitude to play the part. For instance, if you’re a salesperson you may need to be more animated than your real self would normally be. Likewise, if for the love of family and friends you need to put aside your true self and temporarily assume a new persona, do so.

Last night I was an extroverted host. I did it because I love my neighbors and wanted them to feel welcomed and affirmed during their brief stay in our home. I couldn’t maintain that image 24/7, but I did for 247 minutes. Granted, it was exhausting, and when the last guest left, I went to my study, pulled out a book, and resumed my normal identity.

 

Summary

What? – Sometimes we must adapt our behavior to meet the demands of the moment. This is not being insincere; it’s being smart and at times, loving.

So what? – We need to embrace this concept and know when to engage in it.

Now what? – Identify times in your life when it would be advantageous for you to engage in counter-dispositional behavior, and start doing so.

Leaders – Identify times in which your leadership position may require you to act in a way that is unnatural to you. Talk to your team members about this principle and how it can enhance their productivity.

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Seeking Sobriety Faithfully

by Becky Wilcox
written by Becky Wilcox

Seeking Sobriety Faithfully

When we put a face to someone who uses drugs or abuses alcohol, we usually think of teenagers experimenting with marijuana, abusive fathers who always have a beer can in their hand, and other clichéd characters of our society. However, drug and alcohol abuse can also happen to good people in the community, even Christians.

The prescription of Valium you were given for pain after a car accident or routine surgery can easily turn into a regular escape from reality. A daily glass of wine with dinner may become so habitual that it turns into two glasses, then three, then the bottle.

So how do you determine if you are abusing drugs and/ or alcohol?

Accept Addiction for What it is

The first thing to be aware of is that drug and/ or alcohol abuse doesn’t mean you are a bad person. Addiction is an illness, not a definition of who you are. One of the many powers of God is that He is gracious. You may have fallen, but that does not mean that He does not love you or will not help you back up.

However, to take the first step, you must accept addiction for what it is. This will help you not only identify your own habits, but will also help you accept the control your addiction has over you.

Look at Your Habits Objectively

Have you continued taking your pain pills after the pain subsided? Can you ever have just one drink? Or go a day without a drink? Do you feel like you need just something, anything to help get you through each day? If the answers to any of these questions are ‘yes,’ you may be struggling with drug and/ or alcohol addiction.

In order to fully grasp your own habits, you need to be able to look at yourself objectively. Take a day away from drinking or doing drugs. If you can’t make it through the day, that might be your first sign. If you begin to experience nausea or headache while sober, that may be another sign.

However, if you can take a day of sobriety, write down your daily and weekly routines with drugs and/or alcohol. If you can’t look at your habits objectively, ask a close friend or family member to help you identify habits relating to drugs and alcohol. Being able to pinpoint your habits will also help you identify triggers, and will also help you identify just how ill you are.

So What If?

If you realize that you are suffering from addiction, the next question you may have is, ‘What do I do now?’

Seek Out Support

First and foremost, remember that you are not alone. When people accept that they have an addiction, they often isolate themselves. This can make addiction worse. Don’t keep the secret to yourself. Don’t wallow in the guilt. Find a close friend, family member, or church confidant to tell.

Letting someone else know what you are going through will help you find accountability during treatment, and will help take the burden of addiction off your shoulders. Building an adequate support team prior to treatment will also help better your chances of success both during and after treatment.

Look for Treatment Options

Treatment options vary greatly for addiction, ranging from inpatient to outpatient, from secular to religious, and finding the right treatment for you is highly important for your recovery. This article may help you determine the type of treatment that would work best for you.

Upon exit from treatment, you will also want to look for a support group that can help you continue living without drugs and alcohol. Support groups, such as Celebrate Recovery, Alcoholics Anonymous, and Narcotics Anonymous, all have religious affiliations making them a safe haven for Christians who are seeking both fellowship and support from like-minded individuals.

Addiction is a struggle for any individual, but as the old proverb says, “God will never give you any more than you can handle.” By choosing to put your faith in God once again, you can overcome addiction. So if you find yourself struggling with drugs or alcohol, reach out today. Let God hear you through prayer, and let your church support you.

 

 

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Enough is Enough: Pare Down and Enrich Your Life

by Don McMinn
written by Don McMinn

Why does the problem exist?

You are easily swayed by marketing and advertising.

An entire industry (marketing and advertising) has one main goal – to get you to buy more stuff. They have already determined what you will crave next year. For instance, they will tempt you through slick ads to purchase a new jacket – although you already own several – because the ones you have are no longer in style. Who determines what is “in style”?
Many major manufacturing companies employ teams of psychologists and behavioral scientists whose sole job is to discover how to get you to buy more of their products. Perhaps you have been hoodwinked by these “isms.”

  • Materialism – desire for wealth and material possessions with little interest in ethical or spiritual matters; matter is the only reality.
  • Consumerism – equating personal happiness with purchasing material possessions.
  • Commercialism – the tendency to turn everything into objects, images, and services for the purpose of generating profit, and the tendency for intangible things such as happiness, beauty, or health to be given a monetary value or to be spoken of as commodities.

Why do you have so much stuff?

You need to wrestle with this question until you have an honest answer. Here are some possibilities to consider.

1. You have the financial means to purchase a lot, therefore you do.
Just because you can own a lot of stuff, doesn’t mean you should. If you are wealthy, do you need more stuff than those who are poor?

2. Shopping is fun and relaxing.
For some people, shopping is a hobby, a pleasant pastime, a means of escape. When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping. Going to the mall, getting a good deal, or owning something new can be psychologically addictive and even temporarily rewarding.
But there are other, healthier ways to relax and have fun: exercise, reading, spending time with friends, traveling.

3. Your possessions make you feel secure.
Some people feel more secure when surrounded by physical possessions. But in hard times (economic recession, divorce, physical illness, etc.) tangible possessions can actually become a burden. Our sense of security may actually be enhanced by having fewer possessions. 4. Your possessions bolster your self-esteem and your sense of self-worth.

We often hope to impress people and feel better about ourselves by showcasing the quantity and quality of our possessions: a Hermes tie may make me look more successful; driving a luxury car makes me feel better about myself.
A better way to establish and measure self-esteem and self-worth is to focus on:

  • Virtues — Am I a kind person? Am I honest?
  • Intellect — Am I a life-long-learner? Am I curious about life, always pursuing new areas of knowledge?
  • Work ethics — Am I a good employee? Am I industrious?
  • Interpersonal relationships — Am I a good friend, spouse, or parent?

What are some potential dangers of owning too much stuff?

1. It may lead to financial instability or ruin.

Buying too much stuff may adversely affect your fiscal viability, particularly if you purchase items on credit.

This is not, however, an essay on personal finances. I’m not suggesting that you take a vow of poverty and give all your money to charity. I’m simply encouraging you to think carefully about your relationship with stuff. Regardless of your socio-economic status, you need to establish guidelines and boundaries on how much you own.

2. It may distract you from more important life-issues.
An inordinate focus on material possessions may distract you from more important things in life, like family, friends, and learning.

One solution – Decide when enough is enough

The answer to one key question will help you achieve a balanced perspective on material possessions: When is enough, enough?

You need to answer that question. You need to complete this sentence: “I have ____ personal possessions and that is enough.”

Start by considering your personal possessions. If you’re married, you and your spouse have mutual possessions, things like furniture, kitchen utensils, and yard equipment, but for now, just consider your personal belongings. If you’re single, don’t include household items in your list; just personal ones. Once this philosophy of restraint affects one aspect of your life (personal) it will spread to other areas. Focus only on your possessions. Don’t try to influence how other people answer this question or whether or not they even want to answer it. This is a personal exercise.

Here’s my commitment: Following careful thought and reflection, I am committed to owning a finite number of things. I have 100 personal possessions and that is enough.

My limit is 100. I now have 84 items on my list.

Laptop computer, cell phone, auto, umbrella, briefcase – leather, briefcase – roller, luggage – roller, books (unlimited), CDs (unlimited), rings (4), watches (2), reading glasses, toiletries, ties (7), t-shirts, underwear, socks, gloves, leather jacket, light jacket, heavy jacket, hat (2), suit – black, suit – blue, suit – olive, suit – beige, suit – brown, sport-coat – black, sport-coat – blue, suit – brown, sport-coat – black, sport-coat – blue, sport-coat – plaid, sport-coat – grey, dress shirt – white, dress shirt – blue, dress shirt – red, dress shirt – blue stripe, dress shirt – white, dress shirt – white, tuxedo, black shoes, brown shoes, loafers, loafers, sandals, tennis shoes, tennis shoes, slippers, blue jean, blue jean, pants – black, pants – black, pants – brown, pants – grey, pants – khaki, pants – khaki, pants – khaki, swimsuit, shorts – black, shorts – Khaki, shorts – green, polo shirt – red, polo shirt – yellow, polo shirt – green, polo shirt – red, polo shirt, long-sleeve shirt – white, long-sleeve shirt – blue, long-sleeve shirt – red, long-sleeve shirt – taupe, turtleneck shirt, short-sleeve shirt – black, short-sleeve shirt – black, short-sleeve – blue, short-sleeve – SCC, sweater-vest – grey, sweater-vest – black, sweater-vest – white, sweater, black belt, casual belt, backpack,

Suggestions for developing your own list

  1. Identify your own limit and make your own rules. One hundred is not a magical number. You may want to limit yourself to 140 items, or 90. The most important thing is to commit to a finite number.
  2. Identify categories in which you allow yourself multiple items of the same type and count each category as one item. For instance, my categories include underwear, toiletries, t-shirts, books, and socks. But don’t abuse this allowance. For some categories I allow myself multiple items but I limit myself to a finite number within each category. For example, two watches, seven ties, and four rings.
  3. Initially, commit to live within your finite number for at least one year. Then reevaluate your list annually and adjust if desired.
  4. Once you’ve reached your maximum number of items, before you buy something new, you must decide what item you will replace, then you’ll need to discard that item.
  5. When evaluating which possessions to own, ask yourself these questions.
  • When was the last time I used this item?
  • If I did not already own this item, would I buy it now?
  • Why do I own this item?
  • Is this something I truly need?
  • Will this item require maintenance? If so, how much and how often?

Advantages in defining when enough is enough

  1. It develops a resistance to marketing and advertisement. I am no longer distracted by those advertising inserts that double the size of the Sunday paper, ads on television, junk mail, and radio spots; they have lost their voice.
  2. It increases the perceived value of the objects I do own. Now that I have fewer than 100 personal things, I more highly value each one.
    It causes me to purchase better quality products. If I have limited myself to a certain number of pairs of shoes, I will tend to buy high quality shoes.
  3. It allows more time to focus on being and doing instead of having. An inordinate focus on stuff requires a lot of time and energy. I have to shop for, acquire, maintain, and store each item. With less stuff, I have more time to focus on the joy of being a human being.
    Relative to belongings, it engenders contentment. One of the onerous side effects of materialism is the irrepressible feeling of discontent – always wanting more.
  4. It fosters financial prudence and responsibility. Saying “no” to consumerism will help me live a fiscally controlled life.
  5. It helps develop those areas of my life that I have made unrestrictive. You’ll notice in my list that I have allowed myself an unlimited number of books. One reason is that it would be impractical to count each book toward my total of 100 things, but also, good books enhance my life; in one sense, the more the better.
  6. It blesses those in need when I give away surplus items. When I culled my belongings down to 100, I gave a car-load of stuff to charity.
    As we share our convictions with family and friends, others (and future generations) will benefit from our example.The quality issue

Limiting your possessions to a finite number does not imply that your possessions should be cheap and of low-quality. In fact, committing to a limited number of items may prompt you to choose higher quality items.

For instance, I wear Johnston and Murphy dress shoes. I pay about $170 a pair. I could spend less on another brand, but I buy J&M because they are more comfortable than lesser quality shoes and they last longer; I resole a pair three or four times before discarding them. But I won’t buy a $1,500 pair of Italian shoes because I think that’s extreme.
But at what point does the wise pursuit of quality give way to other factors such as style and fashion?
One way to approach the quality/price issue is to consider a continuum on a scale from 1 (low quality/inexpensive) to 10 (very expensive [expensive doesn’t always correlate with quality]).

Let’s consider my shoes. Cost per pair:

$30                  $70                  $100                  $200                  $400                  $1,500
_______________________________________________________
1               2               3               4               5               6               7             8            9           10

At some point on the scale, moving from left to right, I’m no longer paying for higher quality but for issues such as style, name-brand, and fashion. At that point I should question the wisdom of paying more.

Getting started

1. List and number all the personal items that you currently own.
2. Circle the items on your list that you will keep.
3. Complete this sentence: “I have ____ possessions, and that is enough.”

For further personal thought

This essay focuses on personal belongings. Also consider your other possessions (furniture, appliances, etc.). Are you inclined to limit those as well? When making your list of personal possessions, if you created groups of items (jewelry, books, etc.), evaluate each group to see if you’re being excessive.

Group discussion

1. Each person take 15 minutes to discuss:

  • Why do you have so much stuff?
  • What do you think about limiting yourself to a finite number of possessions?
  • If, as a result of focusing less time and money on possessions, you had more time and money, how would you spend those resources?

2. What would happen to our economy if everyone adopted the “enough is enough” philosophy?

Re-printed from www.donmcminn.com. Used by permission of the author.

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How Multi-Site Churches Start and Grow: Latest Trends

by Warren Bird
written by Warren Bird

Last week we announced that the U.S. now has at least 8,000 multisite churches, a phenomenon growing in churches worldwide (www.leadnet.org/world) and which Leadership Network tracked in a recent survey. In March we’ll release a report named the Leadership Network/Generis Multisite Church Scorecard. The following draws from the section on how multisite churches start and grow:

• The typical multisite begins in the 1,000 size range. In our survey churches had an average (median) attendance of 1,200 when they became multisite.

• Almost half say they could have gone multisite at a smaller size. Only 5% of survey responders say they went multisite too soon for their size (i.e., they should have been bigger first), 54% say they were about the right size, and the remaining 41% say they could have gone multisite “at a smaller size.”

• Minimum overall attendance recommended for going multisite starts around 850. Is there a sweet spot or tipping point for what the ideal size might be? Those who say they were “probably too small to go multisite” when they did averaged (median) 450 in attendance when they first became multisite. Those who said they were “about the right size” were 851, and those who “could have gone multisite at a smaller size” were 1,500.

Time will tell whether that recommended launch size will continue to inch downward. Is the 850 number based on the fact that the surveyed churches are mostly larger? We don’t know. We do know that with each passing year, more churches are moving sooner (thus smaller) to become multisite. Maybe in the future maybe we’ll even see church plants regularly start with two sites.

• Campus viability ranges from 2% to 25% of the sending church’s overall attendance, directly related to size. Churches with 15,000 and higher attendances said they can start a viable campus with the equivalent of 2% of their total attendance (or 3% of the attendance at their largest campus). That’s 350 people on average. But these are averages, and there’s a lot of variation, which again suggests they are model dependent. On the “heavyweight model” side, three different churches said they need 2,000 to start a viable new campus—and those were churches of 3,000, 8,000 and 10,000. On the other “lightweight model” side, a number of churches said they could start a viable camp with under 100 people—and those too were churches in the thousands.

The percentages needed for a new campus to be viable change in direct proportion to the overall size of the church. So rather than aim at a standard “rule of thumb” number to offer across all church sizes —such as 5% or 10%—it seems better to peg the percentage with the church’s overall size.

• Likelihood of multisite increases with size. Our survey confirmed a principle that’s held true as long as I’ve been tracking the movement: the larger the church, the more likely to be multisite and the more campuses and services it has. In fact, drawing from Leadership Network’s database of large churches, independent of this survey itself, the trend line is unmistakable:

chart

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Jesus’ Model for Leadership

by Glenn Barteau
written by Glenn Barteau

Jesus was a master at developing leaders. He not only taught the twelve to lead, He taught them how to mentor leaders themselves. For example: James, the teacher; John, the inspirer; Barnabas, the encourager; Paul, the relational leader; Timothy, the value-creator; Peter, the builder.

Preached at Casas Church. Used by permission.

 

 

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Church Office Online: Texting Your Way to Healthier Church Communication

by Kent Shaffer
written by Kent Shaffer

What’s the best way for your church to communicate to your congregation?

Well, it depends on the church.

The world is increasingly a complex melting pot of subcultures. Some churches thrive using social media while other churches need more traditional communication channels. There are hundreds of options.

And text messaging may actually be one of the best tools you can use.

Why texting?

Text messaging (SMS) is as popular as email was a decade ago. According to Pew Internet Project, 90% of American adults have a cell phone, and 79% of them use text messaging in 2014.

In other words, 7 in 10 church goers use text messaging. And this number is growing.

In most cases, the nature of texting is more effective at communicating than email, service announcements, and voice messages. It is 160 characters delivered within 7 seconds.

Tools for Texting

Of course, you don’t want to send out 200 individual messages from your phone. There is software for that.

Some solutions, like Church Office Online, even integrate mass text messaging into church management software (ChMS). In fact, Church Office Online actually includes text messaging in every subscription package at no extra cost. Users can easily send text messages to specific individuals, ministry groups, or their entire congregation.

Texting Your Way to a Healthy Church

Churches can use text messaging in a variety of ways. There are clear benefits to its ability to communicate the urgent – weather cancellations, emergency notifications, and calls to action for community service. It is administratively versatile with its convenience of volunteer communication, event reminders, announcements, and schedule changes.

But text messaging’s real value is in how churches can explore using it to spiritually strengthen the health of their community. The fuel that drives a church’s health is each individual’s personal relationship with Jesus. Abiding in Christ prunes and refines us to be more like Christ. And it is out of the overflow of this relationship with God that the most powerful ministry is done.

So how can text massaging be used for spiritual growth?

  • Prayer
    Your church can use texting to communicate urgent prayer needs or even just every day prayer requests. However, the real potential lies in developing weekly or even daily prayer guides to help church members practice and cultivate the habit of prayer.
  • Scripture
    Scripture illiteracy is still a problem. As we’ve seen with the emergence of Bible apps and audio Bibles, technology is providing new avenues of engagement that can be the first format that suits certain types of learners. Perhaps text messaging is the channel that some need to finally jumpstart a habit of Bible reading. This could be a weekly or daily devotional with one text being Scripture and a 2nd text being a thought-provoking question. One of my favorite examples is using text messaging to share the Scripture text for the sermon the day before. What a wonderful way to extend the sermon beyond the service and prepare hearts to receive more.

Think about how your church can turn text messaging into weekly devotionals of prayer and Scripture. Tools like Church Office Online are perfectly suited to help you get started, explore the potential, and manage the full spectrum of church texting.

Special thanks to Church Office Online for supporting Church relevance by sponsoring this post.

Reprinted from Church Relevance on July 11, 2014. Used by permission.

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Chris Dixon: Good Ideas That Seem Like Bad Ideas

by Warren Bird
written by Warren Bird

Chris Dixon is an entrepreneur and a partner at the venture capital firm Andreessen Horowitz so he sees thousands of ideas—some that look like good ideas and some that look like bad ideas. Dixon started with a Venn diagram created by Peter Thiel. Thiel points out that the sweet spot for start-ups was the space where good ideas seem like bad ideas.

Historically good ideas that seemed like bad ideas at the time include:

  • The telephone— “This ‘telephone’ has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us.” – Western Union internal memo, 1876
  • The radio– “The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?” – David Sarnoff’s associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s.
  • The automobile—“The horse is here to stay, but the automobile is only a novelty—a fad”–Advice from a president of the Michigan Savings Bank to Henry Ford’s lawyer Horace Rackham.
  • The airplane– “Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value.” – Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre.
  • TV—“Television? The word is half Latin and half Greek. No good can come of it”–C. P. Scott, BBC History of television
  • The computer– “I think there is a world market for maybe five computers” – Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943
  • The Beatles– “We don’t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out” – Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962
  • The Personal computer– “There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home” – Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977
  • FedEx– “The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a ‘C’, the idea must be feasible.” – A Yale University management professor in response to Fred Smith’s paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service. (Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.)
  • iPhone—“There’s no chance that the iPhone is going to get any significant market share”–Steve Ballmer, USA Today, April 30, 2007

These are all good ideas that seemed like bad ideas to the decision-makers at the time. Before we berate those fools who said such idiotic things about such obviously good ideas, what was your first response to these recent ventures that are now very successful? Be honest. Did you recognize them as good ideas?

  • Airbnb—renting out a spare room
  • eBay—selling online what you used to sell at garage sales
  • Skype—“Hey, it’s cool but the picture keeps freezing”
  • Twitter—“What can you say in 140 characters?”
  • Lyft—“Private taxi using personal vehicle?”
  • Flickr—“Why would people want to make their photos public?”
  • Facebook—“Why would I want to put my personal life online?”

Chris Dixon says that to discover the intersection of GITLLBI you’ve got to know the secret. A secret is “what you believe that few other people believe.” Here is his secret to having a breakthrough idea:

  • Know the tools better than anyone else—what are the tools of your trade?
  • Know the problems better than anyone else—what do people want to do that they are currently not able to do?
  • Draw from your own life experience / background—what insight do you have from the nature of people, the constraints of ministry as it is currently conceived?

Dixon goes on to explain characteristics of GITLLBIs:

  • Powerful people will often dismiss them as toys—think about the telephone and airplane
  • GITLLBIs unbundle the functions done by others—Newspapers are unbundled to create new online offerings. Craig’s List replacing classified ads, Twitter feeds replacing the headlines, etc. MOOCs (Massive Online Open Courses) aren’t intended to replace the university experience but only an unbundled slices of that experience—coursework, tests and grading. MOOCs do not replace the social experience and networking, credentialing, job recruiting, intramural / sports participation, clubs, etc.
  • They often originate as hobbies
    • Homebrew computer club was Steve Jobs and Steve Wazniak’s hobby
    • Blogs were hobby
    • Web was hobby
    • Open source coding was a hobby
    • Multi-site churches were started as a temporary solution not a strategy
    • Lifechurch.tv’s YouVersion of the Bible started as hobby and is now used by over 130 million people

    Is there a way that that you, as a ministry leader, can look at ideas through the GITLLBI lens? Could “church” (like the university) be unbundled into the different layers that make up church? What are the layers that comprise a fully functioning healthy church? Could you get more traction by unbundling this experience? Do you know anyone who would be willing to give it a try? Think of things that you are currently dismissing as a bad idea, a novelty or a toy that might really be a good idea. When your first response is, “That will never work,” instead of dismissing the idea maybe that thought should be your invitation to dive in and explore the possibilities.

    Leadership Network’s approach is to help identify ideas / practices that are on the periphery (and maybe dismissed by others) and help churches bring them to the center, creating new norms that are more effective in helping people experience life as God designed it. If you find yourself thinking about life and ministry differently I encourage you to check out what LN can do for you. Go here to discover more.

    Summary written by Eric Swanson of Leadership Network. Used by permission.

     

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Articles

How to Survive and Thrive with Cancer

by Darlene Zschech
written by Darlene Zschech

Recently, at a routine mammogram, the doctors discovered that I had developed breast cancer. Since then, it has been a whirlwind of appointments, scans and surgery.

Even though the past days have been very tough at times, the Holy Spirit has brought me endless comfort and the Word of God is literally holding me moment by moment. My husband and children have been heroic and I can’t thank my family enough for their love and support through this. Our church leadership team have anointed me with oil and prayed with unity and authority, a band of trusted friends have helped me prayerfully and practically.

Through all of this, my heart is overwhelmed with God’s love and goodness.

This entire journey has truly been a mind game. Keeping my MIND focused on all God says, instead of how I am feeling, which is becoming a little fragile at times. In this, I keep going to my journal of promises from God’s Word. In this book are my list of scriptures that I absorb like a daily tonic. It is in this space that I find rest.

During this whole process, I have received so many great encouraging letters and emails from those who have walked through the fire and come out smelling smoke free at the other end. I cannot begin to express how this fuels my soul for the days ahead.

Today, I read the scriptures that Pastor Kirk Pankratz from Oklahama sent me that they spoke over their daughter last year when she battled a certain cancer. SO awesone to hear the great story of God’s victory in and through it all.  Here are some of them:

Psalm 91:15-16 – He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him My salvation.

2 Timothy 1:7 – For God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

1 John 4:4 – You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.

Romans 8:37 – Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.

Phillipians 4:13 – I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Isaiah 59:19 – When the enemy comes in like a flood, the spirit of the Lord will lift up a standard against him.

Luke 1 :37 – For with God nothing is ever impossible and no word from God shall be without power or impossible of fulfillment.

Again and again, God’s word trumps our adversities. It’s His nature to heal and to rescue. Never forget that. It’s all based on His great love for us – not on anything we have done.

Would I rather NOT be walking through this? Absolutely, however what I am learning is that God is close to the brokenhearted in ways I only dreamed of and this brings me ENDLESS HOPE.

HERE ARE SOME TIPS FOR THOSE ON A CANCER JOURNEY

THE WORD. This has been my top priority. These scriptures lead me to continued HOPE and TRUST. Declaring scripture and reading it loud when my heart trembles or my emotions go AWOL. Through this treatment I have been super tired. SO, reading out loud has been awesome.

PRAYING FRIENDS AND FAMILY. There are times that I literally FEEL the prayers of the saints close and afar carrying me. And when I have been unable to utter a prayer. I know someone is praying. You have no idea the comfort this brings. When I am able, rest assured I pray for all of you. My hubby is my rock, my girls are fiercely loyal and covered by many prayers and supported by friends

WORSHIP. The word is clear about bringing our prayers, our worship, our songs, before, during and after any storms that may come our way.  So I sit at my piano when I can and simply love Jesus. I open the Psalms and let my heart come out.

GREAT FOOD. Ok, this has been trial and error for me. AT first, I went FULLY raw food… juicing like a mad woman (which I still do a lot of) but with my type of chemo I have learned I must have my food cooked to keep germs at bay (white blood cell count alert!.. ended up in hospital a few times.. not intending to go again).

SO, lots of soups, tasty, wild salmon, and steamed broccoli with every meal.. basically, whatever I feel like, if it is good for me and I simply eat it when I feel like eating.  AS your taste buds die off, its hard to always know, but doing my best thanks to family and friends cooking like champions for me AND my family.

EXERCISE. All my training, beach runs, lifting weights. I have not been able to manage. BUT, I am walking whenever I can. The sunshine is a great place to find yourself thanking God for every day, and the walking is a great way to keep your system feeling at its best despite everything.

LAUGHTER. Just making sure your friends feel ok to pop in, send you silly videos, sit and chat and laugh and cry is SO good for the soul. This is such an intense time, and doctors appointments can be very confronting, a merry soul definitely does good like a medicine. Thank You Proverbs 17:22!!

JUST DO WHAT YOU CAN. I have been busy in the home when I can, writing songs, playing with my grand-babies and cooking, all simply when I can.

Don’t push yourself just be kind to yourself.

AND LASTLY, JOURNAL.. Writing down the God whispers and even the days of silence. Writing down how my body feels on certain days so I am more prepared next treatment. Writing down scriptures that those I trust to speak into my situation have felt to share with me. This book brings me comfort and is helping my emotions to have an outlet. My journal also gives me somewhere to place random song lyrics, random thoughts, random ramblings and so on…

Thank You again everyone. I’ll be laying low this week, but my heart is good, God is faithful and I see the horizon and it looks GOOD!!!

Much love and prayers for Darlene at this time.

http://www.darlenezschech.com/blog/ Used by permission.

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Articles

Neuroscience Finds Porn and Masturbation Destroy Willpower

by Luke Gilkerson
written by Luke Gilkerson

Neuroscience now knows that willpower is a function of the prefrontal lobes of the brain. Scientific studies have also confirmed that using porn over and over actually reshapes these areas of the brain, literally eroding our willpower and our moral compass.

Neuroscientists call it hypofrontality. Hypofrontality is a state in which there is decreased blood flow to the prefrontal lobes of the brain. Hypofrontality is observed in schizophrenia patients, and is also observed in all manner of addictions.

What is Hypofrontality?

In his book, The Porn Circuit, Sam Black explains what hypofrontality is for the porn viewer.

“Compulsiveness is a good descriptor of hypofrontality. Many porn users feel focused on getting to porn and masturbating even when a big part of them is saying, ‘Don’t do this.’ Even when negative consequences seem imminent, impulse control is too weak to battle the cravings.”

The porn-addicted brain has trouble thinking logically. When impulses and desires come from the midbrain, instead of being moderated, the brain feels these desires as compelling needs. The prefrontal region is supposed to be able to weigh consequences and situations and judiciously shut down cravings, but hypofrontality means the addict’s ability to do this is impaired.

To the addict, when the craving for porn surfaces, their whole body gears up for action. As unhindered hormones are released and neurotransmitters fire, the craving consumes them. The heart begins to race, blood pressure rises, and the addict is consumed by a single thought: “Just one more time.”

What Causes Hypofrontality?

Compared to other creatures on earth, human beings have a very well developed prefrontal region. When our prefrontal lobes are working properly, then we have “executive control” of the processes going on in our brains. It is where we do our abstract thinking, make goals, solve problems, regulate behavior, and where we suppress emotions, impulses, and urges.

But the more one masturbates to porn, the more dopamine is released in the brain. Eventually dopamine receptors and signals in the brain fatigue, leaving the viewer wanting more but unable to reach a level of satisfaction. The viewer becomes numb to things once considered pleasurable. “To escape this desensitization, people, and men especially, expand their pornographic tastes to more novel stimuli,” Black writes. This leads, again, to more fatigue.

Desensitization impacts the prefrontal cortex. As dopamine receptors decline in the brain, so do the amount of neural cells in the prefrontal lobes.

How Do You Cure Hypofrontality?

To bring the prefrontal lobes back into working order, a two-pronged attack is needed: (1) the old neural pathways must be starved, and (2) new neural pathways must be built and fed, increasing dopamine levels in a way that build up the prefrontal cortex.

1. Starve: Stop All Pornography and Fantasy

Don’t give into the urge to look at porn. As the prefrontal lobes are given plenty of time to rest, executive control will be strengthened over time.

This advice feels to many like a catch-22. “You tell me I’ve killed my willpower by looking at porn. So now the way to increase my willpower is by willing myself not to look at porn. How does that work?” Isn’t that like telling the alcoholic to “just stop it”?

The big difference between “just stop it” and a conscious effort to rewire your brain is this: The man being told to “just stop it” has no hope that the cravings will ever be different. When he hears “just stop it,” he hears, “Live with these intense cravings the rest of your life and never give into them.” To the addict porn is life. Telling him to stop is like telling him to die.

However, informed by the process of how our brains can change, the addict can avoid porn and fantasy knowing that real change is possible. Change is built into the very fabric of our brains. Change is exactly what our brains are designed to do. When this person abstains from porn, he thinks, “Okay, this really stinks for now. I feel terrible. But I will not always feel this way. In fact, I aim to reclaim my brain so I can experience real, lasting pleasure again.”

Here are some helpful tips for avoiding pornography

  • Redirection – When you feel the urge, get into the habit of distracting yourself with another activity that you can start immediately. This can be as simple as a breathing exercise or journaling your thoughts. It can be as involved as making a meal or going for a jog. It will be difficult to do, but each time you choose to redirect, your brain will build new neural circuits.
  • Avoid All External Triggers – Remember, you’ve carved a grand-canyon-sized gorge of neural circuits in your mind. It is easy for everyday experiences to become triggers. If the trigger is a specific channel on TV, refuse to visit that channel. If the trigger is a type of person you see walking down the street, choose to bounce your eyes away from that person. Learn what your triggers are and for the first several weeks or months, completely avoid them—no exceptions.
  • Avoid Internal Triggers – External triggers are things you experience in the world. Internal triggers are emotions or states of mind. For some, when they feel lonely, this has become a trigger for porn. Porn has become their release valve to make themselves feel good. Identify what your internal triggers are (loneliness, boredom, exhaustion, anger, etc.), and create an escape plan when these emotions pop up. Call a friend. Journal your thoughts. Do something creative.
  • Avoid SUDs – “Seemingly Unimportant Decisions.” These are the rationalizations you say to yourself to get you one step closer to porn. “I’m just going to see what’s on TV.” “I’m just going to check my e-mail.” “I’m just going to get on Facebook.” Get honest with yourself and learn what your SUDs are. Be ruthless against these rationalizations.
  • Avoid Inactivity – Fill up your social calendar to the brim. Refuse to give yourself an open window.
  • Finish the Fantasy – When the thought of looking at porn enters your mind, immediately finish the fantasy: imagine yourself having just orgasmed and the feeling of shame, guilt, or disgust you feel. Vividly experience the emotions.
  • Destroy Fantasies – As a fantasy or thought enters your mind, picture the image being eliminated. Draw a red X over it. Smash it with a hammer. Put it through the shredder. Flush it down the nastiest looking toilet you’ve ever seen.

2. Feed: Build Up Your Brain

Much like a muscle, the more you exercise the prefrontal cortex, the stronger it becomes. The goal is to engage in new habits that will increase your dopamine and dopamine receptors.

Change is Gradual, But It Will Come

Summarizing these above two points, Sam Black writes in The Porn Circuit:

Whatever rewarding activity is pursued, it needs to be an activity that is reoccurring. Building new rewarding neural pathways requires time and ongoing repetition…

  1. Neurons that fire together wire together. Repeating a pleasurable activity instead of the compulsive activity, such as porn use, forms a new circuit that is gradually reinforced instead of the compulsion.
  2. Neurons that fire apart wire apart. When a person refuses to act on a compulsion, like porn and masturbation, it weakens the link between the activity and the idea that it will provide relief.

(Download the The Porn Circuit)

The prefrontal cortex is one of the things that makes us unique from other creatures on earth. By reclaiming it we are reclaiming more than our willpower. We are reclaiming our humanity.

Picture credit: healthblog
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Sermons

Pure Hearts and Clean Consciences

by Alistair Begg
written by Alistair Begg

As we conclude our study of the introduction to Titus, we are reminded that God, who never lies, gives us knowledge of the truth and the promise of eternal life. A pure heart and an uncorrupted conscience is evidence of abiding in the truth of God’s Word. Titus is tasked with teaching the common faith.

www.truthforlife.org.  2868 Used by permission.

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Articles

Plan B: Learning to Handle Life’s Second Bests

by Julie Barrier
written by Julie Barrier

 

Dashed hopes. Devastating news. Divorce. Disillusionment over current events. Perhaps, like Job, everything in your life seems to be falling apart and you are just waiting for the other shoe to drop. You wanted a dream job and ended up with a dead-end job. You anticipated holding a healthy baby and now you rock a handicapped one. (Or a dead one, in my case).

 

My husband is the best preacher I’ve ever heard. (I’m incredibly prejudiced, of course). But he’s lived with a weak heart his entire life. One of his high school buddies was vice president of a booming Fortune 500 company. The business went belly-up, and now he’s a Walmart greeter making minimum wage.

 

Americans hate settling for second best, silver medals, or plan B. But God often takes the rubble of our broken lives and does His best work with our “second bests.” Let me give you a single Bible example. Missionary Paul is chomping at the bit to share the gospel in ritzy Bithynia, a cosmopolitan trade center in Asia Minor. To reach such an influential hub of culture and clout would be a feather in his Christian cap. However, God had other ideas. The Holy Spirit said “no, no, you don’t go” and slammed the door in Paul’s face. Read Acts 16: 6-10 below:

 

“They went to Phrygia, and then on through the region of Galatia. Their plan was to turn west into Asia province, but the Holy Spirit blocked that route. So they went to Mysia and tried to go north to Bithynia, but the Spirit of Jesus wouldn’t let them go there either. Proceeding on through Mysia, they went down to the seaport Troas.

That night Paul had a dream: A Macedonian stood on the far shore and called across the sea, “Come over to Macedonia and help us!” The dream gave Paul his map.We went to work at once getting things ready to cross over to Macedonia. All the pieces had come together. We knew now for sure that God had called us to preach the good news to the Europeans.” The Message

 

In Troas the door was opened to the preeminent ministry of his career. Paul rendered his most significant service in the leftovers of a broken plan. All of us have times spent in barrenness in low tides when we feel shelved or set aside, not used, or virtually unusable.

 

Let me encourage you. That is often the hand of a sovereign God who has closed the door. The Bible teaches that those rock-bottom days, those hard times are God’s perfect arrangements to prepare us for some of his best works.

 

Here are some helpful hints for times of disappointment, for “second best” days:

When doors close…

1). Don’t run. Be patient and wait for God’s blessing.

2). Don’t always assume that an open door is from God. Satan also opens doors.

3). God will lead you by speaking in your spirit. Listen for His voice and call there.

4.) When God shuts off one path He inveriably opens a better one. It’s only a matter of time.

Revelation 3:7-8

“This is the message from the one who is holy and true. He has the key that belonged to David, and when HE opens a door, no one can close it, and when HE closes it, no one can open it.  I know what you do; I know that you have a little power; you have followed my teaching and have been faithful to me. I have opened a door in front of you, which no one can close.” GNT

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Articles

Motives Revealed: Why Are You Following Jesus?

by Tom Terry
written by Tom Terry

We were launching a new ministry project in Mongolia. During a board meeting we wrestled with the issue of why our TV ministry was limited only to a single city while all of our competitors were broadcasting on satellite nationwide.

It was then that the Lord gave us a strategy to take a series of character-driven Bible movies into the Mongolian countryside to do Bible story telling and win communities to Christ. Called, Steppe-by-Steppe, the project is a resounding success.

At the time of this writing more than 95,000 were touched in hundreds of countryside communities with more than 50 new church groups planted—in just seven short years. But when we began putting the project together I wondered if we could even find the right people to carry it out.

We interviewed more than 50 Mongolian men looking to fill six slots for Mongolian missionaries. These men would need a strong knowledge and reliance on scripture. They would need a clear sense of calling. Most importantly they would need a firm understanding of the Gospel message. Candidates went through multiple interviews, but the first interview was the most important.

“Tell me,” I said to each person being interviewed, “What did God save you from?” How would you answer that question. Go ahead, give it a stab right now; then read on.

A simple enough question. But the overwhelming majority of people had a host of answers that boiled down to one thing. “He saved me so I could have a good life.” 

I was greatly troubled by these responses. In some cases I tried leading questions to even steer the applicant into the answers I was looking for, but it always came down to, “God saved me so I could have a good life.” That’s the prosperity gospel answer, not a biblical answer. I was looking for a certain response—a response that if anyone knows the Bible should be the first thing to pass our lips. Sadly, very few people could give the right answer: “He saved me from my sin.”

There were even a few occasions when I gave the answer away. I remember one candidate saying, “Oh yes, that too,” as if being saved from sin was something that happened in passing instead of an essential element of the Gospel message.

In my observation, when our eyes are focused on “my life,” or the “good life,” or being saved, as some told me, from a “bad life,” then we get our eyes off the cross and Jesus’ suffering. Without a deep sense of our own sin we treat the Bible and Jesus like the magic genie in the bottle—perhaps even without realizing it. We forget the weightier things of the scripture like that which German pastor Dietrich Bonhoeffer noted when he said, “When Jesus calls a man, he bids him come and die.”

In some people’s theology the central focus is upon us instead of Jesus, it is upon what he can give us now rather than what he gave at the cross, it is about prosperity in this life rather than sacrificing this life for what God has in store for us in the next—the life which will last for eternity.

 

    How did you answer?

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Sermons

Kingdom Growth: Wheat and Tares

by Ryan Kramer
written by Ryan Kramer

Have you ever grown or tended a garden? There is strategy involved. Within Matthew chapter 13 – Jesus launches into several parables that focus on this concept of Kingdom growth. Why doesn’t God just ‘fix’ things now? We must grow where we’re planted. The interwoven life of connection is one we’re called to live – because the world needs us to and we need it in order to truly grow.

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Sermons

Priceless: The Biblical Worth of a Woman

by Roger Barrier
written by Roger Barrier

The value of women is discussed from the scriptural, cultural, historical, traditional and contemporary lenses. Women blessed, encouraged and helped Jesus throughout His ministry. They accompanied Him on His ministry tours and financially supported Him. They remain at the cross after the disciples fled and they were present at the resurrection. The Old and New Testament are filled with examples of the impact women made for the cause of Christ.

 

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Ask Roger

Why Does the Bible Use the Number 40 So Much?

by Roger Barrier
written by Roger Barrier

Dear Roger,

 

What is the significance of the number 40? It pops up all the time in scripture.

Sincerely, Wondering

 

Dear Wondering,

 

The term “40” is a general time period referring to something “around” or close the number “40.” For example, we know that a month has 28, 30 or 31 days; but instead of being so exact, we tend to use the word “month”. “We’ve been married about a month.” OK we know that is about 30 days. “It rained for 40 days and nights,” is like saying, “it rained for about a month.” The Israelites wandered around in the desert for 40 years” means that they were out there for around 40 years—plus or minus a few.

 

Just for fun, we can take your question a step further and move into the realm of Biblical numerology.

 

Many believe that numbers in the Bible have built-in significance. I have always thought that there is some truth to this consideration. Two or the most often recurring numbers are 7 and 40. On the basis of Genesis 7:2-4 and other passages, many consider 7 to be the number of completeness or perfection:

 

If 7 is the “perfect number,” many connect the number with God Himself. God’s number is said to be 7. Revelation 5:6 seems to infer this. The “Lamb” referred to in these verses is, of course, Jesus.

 

Then I saw a Lamb, looking as if it had been slain, standing in the center of the throne, encircled by the four living creatures and the elders. He had seven horns and seven eyes, which are the seven spirits of God (Revelation 5:6).

 

The number 6 is thought to be the number of man. Man was created on the 6th day; man labors 6 days a week. Man’s number is one less than perfection. We know that the Anti-Christ’s number is 666 (Revelation 13:18). Man consistently fails to measures up to God. Imperfect can never make perfect. By the way, 666 may stand in juxtaposition to the number 3. Three is often seen as representing the Trinity—God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. 666 is seen as representing the unholy trinity—Satan, the Beast and the Anti-Christ.

 

Some associate the number 40 with the idea of probation or trial. The Israelites wandered for 40 years (Deuteronomy 8:2-5); Moses was on the mount for 40 days (Exodus 24:18); 40 days were involved in the story of Jonah and Nineveh (Jonah 3:4); Jesus was tempted for 40 days (Matthew 4:2); there were 40 days between Jesus’ resurrection and ascension (Acts 1:3).

 

Perhaps there is some truth in this position; but once again, don’t overlook the fact that the term, “forty days” is primarily a general term referring to a general time period—like our term month.

 

To me numbers in the Bible are just numbers and I deal with them accordingly. However, it would not surprise me at all to discover that once again God is utilizing ordinary things (numbers) to teach all sorts of Biblical truth.

 

Wondering, I hope this helps to answer your question. Thanks for asking.

 

Sincerely, Roger

 

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Strict bossy woman with Afro hairstyle in green casual style sweater holding white mask in hand, pointing finger to camera with serious expression. Indoor studio shot isolated on orange background.
Sermons

Condemnation Engineering

by Roger Barrier
written by Roger Barrier

Jesus deals with the judgmental way we often try to control those closest to us. Instead of blaming others for their problems and forcing upon them our “wonderful solutions,” Jesus shows us the effective way of helping the people we love.  The way of asking, seeking and knocking works because it draws people into the kingdom rather than into the web of our devices and plans for them.

 

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Ask Roger

Is it true that I can’t remarry after my divorce without committing adultery?

by Roger Barrier
written by Roger Barrier

 

Roger,

Thank you for your column here first of all. In Mark 10:11-12 Jesus says, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.” I am a Christian who believes in our Lord and Savior but I am divorced from my first wife and have remarried. Can you explain what Jesus meant? Thanks for your help and God Bless.

Paul

Dear Paul,

Jesus set out in Mark’s gospel a rather clear-cut teaching about divorce: Divorce and subsequent remarriage is adultery. I think He meant exactly what He said. It is not surprising that He set such a high standard. He simply was reiterating God’s divine intention that marriage is a partnership of one man and one woman for one lifetime (Genesis 2:18 and 2:22-24). In God’s eyes marriage is never to be broken. Therefore, when a marriage fails, to remarry is to commit adultery.

However, Paul, there is much more to this story. We will better understand the issue if we look at the context which led to Jesus’ statement in Mark 10:2-12:

Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?”

“What did Moses command you?” he replied.

They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.”

“It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,” Jesus replied. “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female. ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”

When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”

Jesus acknowledged that His Father allowed Moses to lessen the Godly standard. A “certificate of divorce” from husband to wife could end a marriage. Two rival interpretations were put forth in Jesus’ day to explain when a divorce certificate could be granted. The school of Hillel took the liberal approach and said that divorce could be granted for “any and every reason”—or without any reason whatsoever! The school of Shammai took a more conservative approach and said that adultery was the only grounds for divorce.

Let me share a few more thoughts on the matter and then get personal with your own situation.

In sorting out Jesus’ teaching on divorce, remarriage, and adultery Matthew also recorded this teaching from Jesus—but he recorded that Jesus gave one exception to the rule: “Jesus replied, ‘Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery’” (Matthew 19:8-9). Matthew quoted Jesus as allowing adultery as a ground for divorce. This is often called, “the exception clause.” Some deal with this exception for adultery by declaring that Jesus never said these words at all. They postulate that the clause, “except for marital unfaithfulness,” was inserted by a scribe when he copied Matthew’s gospel for distribution to others. Frankly, I have never read a satisfactory explanation that reconciles the difference between the two passages.

The word translated “adultery” is the Greek word, “pornea.” This is the root word for the English word “pornography.” “Pornea” is in no way limited to adultery. It includes any sort of illicit sexual behaviors from reading pornographic materials to bestiality and everything in between.

Paul laid down the rules for divorce in the Christian community. I wonder, if while believing one man and one woman for one lifetime, he also yielded to the “hardness of hearts” in outlining divorce and remarriage rules for Christians (1 Corinthians Seven). Let me refer you to my previous Ask Roger answer, “How Do We Handle Divorce and Remarriage Issues in Our Church?” for a more detailed discussion of the “rules” for divorce and remarriage.

Let me give you a quick summary of Paul’s teachings.

First, “pornea” is always grounds for divorce. However, just because one partner is guilty of “pornea” does not automatically mean a divorce should proceed. Paul advised that the marriage may well be salvaged through counseling, prayer and a short separation to allow heated emotions to subside.

Second, a Christian whose partner commits sexual improprieties is free to remarry. Unfortunately, the guilty party seems left in a “limbo state” where remarriage would be considered adultery.

Third, Christians married to non-Christians are to remain married as long as the unbeliever wants to stay. If the unbeliever wants a divorce then the divorce proceeds and the Christian is free to remarry.

Fourth, Biblical grounds for divorce always include the right to remarry.

Paul, let’s get personal for a moment. I don’t know the circumstances of your situation; but, if your first marriage partner was guilty of “pornea” then you unquestionably have grounds for divorce; don’t worry that you are committing adultery. Enjoy your remarriage.

On the other hand, if you were the guilty party—or, if neither of you committed “pornea” and the marriage failed for other reasons, then look to John 8 for guidance. Jesus acknowledged the sin of the woman caught in adultery, forgave her, restored her, and told her not to commit adultery any more.

A state of adultery need not go on forever. Confess to God your part in the marriage failure and receive His forgiveness. Then, pick up the pieces, go on with your life, and don’t worry about it again.

I hope this answer is helpful. Have a great remarriage and may you live happily ever after in Christ.

Love, Roger

Read “How Do I Handle Divorce and Re-marriage Issues in my Church?”

 

 

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Keys to a Fair Fight: Conflict Resolution

by Chet Weld
written by Chet Weld

The essential step in dealing with conflict is to strengthen the relationship (maintain the connection). Here are the steps you should consider in preparing to address the conflict: prepare your heart, prepare what to say, and prepare for the context.

In preparing your heart you have to ask several questions. Have I honestly considered why I am doing this? Have I acknowledged my negative feelings and begun working on resolving them? Have I surrendered any wrong attitudes and motivations to God? Have I asked God to prepare the other person’s heart and help him/her to be willing to find a solution we can live with? Is there anything else I need to talk over with God first?

Preparing what to say is also key in conflict resolution. Ask yourself the following questions. Do I have the essential issue clearly in mind, and am I able to clearly state it? Am I prepared to honestly and lovingly share my feelings in this matter? Do I have a clear understanding of what I would like to see happen?

You must also prepare the context, or place where the conflict will be discussed. These issues must be considered. Have I decided on the best time to bring up the issue? Have I decided on the best location?

You must also evaluate the effectiveness of the discussion. Much can be learned through experience by asking questions. Did I clearly and specificially present the issue? Did I promote or allow for two-way dialogue? Did I appropriately control and express my feelings? Did I avoid attacks, mind reading, prophesying and counter attacks? Did I effectively present ideas for possible solutions? Did I listen well without interrupting, giving feedback and adequate opportunity to express feelings, perceptions and solutions? Did I listen well without interrupting, giving feedback and adequate opportunity to express feelings, perceptions and solutions? Did we find a mutually acceptable solution, resulting in a minimum of unresolved feelings and misunderstandings? If we couldn’t agree, did I do everything possible to preserve our relationship? Have we set up a time for ongoing dialogue, if needed?

Other strategies for managing conflict can be utilized. Follow these principles. Deal with conflicts as soon as possible (Ephesians 4:26). Keep to the present (no “gunny sacking” with “You always” and “You never”). Keep to one issue at a time. Use “I” statements, rather than “You” statements. If you need to “vent,” do this with the Lord before engaging with the other person. Don’t attack the person’s character. Propose a tentative solution or ask the other person to think of one. If there’s anger, be prepared to ask for and extend forgiveness. Take an intermission, if needed.
 

           

 

 

 

 

 

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Responding to the Spiritual Beliefs of Seekers

by Tom Terry
written by Tom Terry

Too often as Christians we don’t explore the belief systems of others, and in doing so, fail to understand how they think. When we take a hard look at comparative religion, we know how to pray for others and how to lead them to Christ. We are not “lobbing the gospel ball over the fortress fence.” Instead, we courageously step out of our comfort zones and begin to relate effectively and intelligently with our neighbors.

However, in understanding the beliefs of others, there is a present and future danger that must be addressed in order to stand fast in our faith in the face of syncretism, deception and persecution.

Recently I’ve been enjoying the book, Christianity on the Offense: Responding to the Spiritual Beliefs of Seekers, by Dan Story. It’s always good to learn something about the competition, so to speak, and I occasionally read such books to keep me up to date on worldview issues. The pages I read today, however, got me thinking not about the worldviews of today, but the worldviews of tomorrow—apropos to the change of calendar coming in just hours.

It’s interesting to me to trace how different worldviews like Naturalism, Modernism, Buddhism, and competing religions have all contributed to one another over the centuries. These worldviews often borrow points from one another, specifically the Western worldviews have been borrowing from the Eastern, thus becoming their worldview cousins.

Christianity is different in that when someone tries to integrate other religious philosophies into its framework it becomes something wholly different—something other than orthodox. As one example, we see a lot of this in Mongolia as many young Christians, not fully understanding the unique nature of Christianity, attempt to bring in some of the beliefs and practices of Buddhism and Animism in the name of preserving culture. This practice of syncretism ends up creating something other than a biblically-based Christian expression. It was also strongly condemned by Peter (II Peter 2:17-22) and Jesus (Revelation 2:12-29).

The study of apologetics is always a study of the past, even the recent past. That makes sense. The past is immutable. We can study the history of religious and philosophical thought and the impact on societies to see how those ideas shaped societies. But wouldn’t it be interesting, and perhaps even more advantageous for us to see where these views might lead us to in the future? Let’s approach it this way: Who among Christian leaders of the 17th and 18th century that battled the influence of the enlightenment would have guessed that it would eventually pave the way for Darwinism, Secular Humanism, then a Post-Modernist view? Applying this speculation to today, what kind of worldviews will the Christian Church have to do battle with tomorrow?

When we read the scriptures about the coming End Times we are faced with a stark reality about the future—it may be as equally immutable as the past. Prophetic scripture reveals that things are going to get bad for those with a Christian worldview. Even the most casual read from Matthew 24-25 and the book of Revelation reveal a ballooning anti-Christian fervor. Can we deny that we experience it today from the courtrooms of America to the prisons of China? The Apostle Paul warned Timothy about this very thing, paving the way for us to prepare for battle in the future.

    “But the Spirit explicitly says that in later times some will fall away from the faith, paying attention to deceitful spirits and doctrines of demons, by means of the hypocrisy of liars, seared in their own conscience as with a branding iron…” (I Timothy 4:1-2)

    “But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self control, brutal, haters of good, treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power…evil men and impostors will proceed from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived.” (II Timothy 3:1-5,13).

Just as the past is immutable, so too it may be that the future revealed to us in these and other passages, is equally immutable. God has already revealed to us, in advance, that we will be faced with opposition to the Christian worldview with increasing frequency and fervor. Since the scripture reveals it then we know it will come to pass (Romans 4:17). So how will we deal with this immutable future of trouble? That’s a question we should consider as we enter the last year of this decade.

Paul provided more than a warning of what was to come, he also provided a solution.

    “You, however, continue in the things you have learned and become convinced of, knowing from whom you have learned them…you have known the sacred writings which are able to give you wisdom that leads to salvation through faith in Jesus Christ. All scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work” (II Timothy 3:14-17).

I love it. When revealing what believers face in a future time Paul simply goes back to the old standards. Like a plaid-suited used car salesman on a cheap TV commercial he shouts, “Yesterday’s technology today!” Except what Paul is selling is the real deal. It’s power is truth. It’s potential unending. It never goes out of style or become irrelevant.

At all times there are always signs before us pointing to what the future may hold. The signs of our recent economic crisis were in place in 90s. So too there are warning signs before the Christian about what to expect in the future. The road we are on is designed to take us to that future. How we will deal with it when we get there should be of great concern along the way. The road may twist and turn but the rules of the road are unchanged.

 

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The Jewel of Integrity

by Brad Tuttle
written by Brad Tuttle

Sine cera was a term in ancient Israel that guaranteed a clay pot was “without wax.” Wax was used by salesmen to cover imperfections that occured during the firing. The retailer was passing off a defective product by deceiving the buyer. When we pretend to live a life “without wax,” we are demonstrating “insincerity.”   

Integrity means completeness, no duality in what you say and what you do. The opposite of integrity then is hypocrisy. It’s been said that integrity is not only the way one thinks but the way one acts. Integrity is not wearing a cross around your neck, then coming to church, acting like a Christian, and then going home and being a mean (verbally cutting, hateful) or abusive husband, a disrespectful wife, or an uninterested parent. That’s duality, that’s hypocrisy, but not integrity. Integrity means that you don’t hold or profess you’re a Christian, but in your job you do a bad product, you’re rebellious against your boss, you gossip, you act unethically, and you lie…that’s hypocrisy. Integrity is what you are, reputation is what people think you are. You cannot be truly successful in life when you are disrespected by the living here because you lack integrity.

 

Integrity was so important to Jesus that He made sure He paid the temple tax and Peter’s portion as well even though He didn’t have to (Matt. 17:24-27). Integrity was so important to Paul that he made sure he had two other people with him when he was collecting money from the churches for the poor Christians back in Jerusalem. He wanted to make sure that no one could discredit him so it says he ‘took precaution’ (2 Cor. 8:16-20). Paul protected his integrity because it is that important. Samuel stood before the people he led for decades, and now at the end of his life, he asked that if he had taken anything from anybody, or cheated anybody, oppressed anybody, or taken a bribe from anybody, for them to let him know and he would make it right. It says that no one stood to say anything. In other words, no one had an ought against him because honesty, and integrity had permeated every area of his life. He held himself accountable to the people he led, and opened himself up to the scrutiny of everyone with whom he had ever had dealings, and no one had anything against him. Wow, that’s a life of integrity! We need leaders in the church like that today.

 

If you don’t have integrity it will affect you and your ability to lead and minister.

If you don’t have integrity it will affect those closest to you. It is awfully difficult for a woman to respect a man who will profess to be a Christian on Sunday, but live abusively the other 6 days. It is hard for a child to live in a home where there is duality.

If you don’t have integrity you’re also going to affect what you can do for God.  God cannot truly use a man or woman who lacks integrity (see also Samson).

What do you do ?

You get your life straight.

You reconcile if you need to with those you hurt do to your duality.

You look at yourself in the mirror, and don’t leave unchanged.

You start crossing your T’s and dotting your I’s.

You start ‘taking precaution’ so no one can discredit you.

You’ll never be perfect but you work on never letting your life have holes poked in it due to a lack of integrity.

Always remember that having lived a life of integrity is one of the greatest statements that can be made about you at the end of your life. It’s also one of greatest evangelistic tools you have in your arsenal because people will be open to receiving the Gospel from a man or woman who lives a true life of integrity.

“A good name is to be desired more than great wealth.” Proverbs 22:1 

I hope this has challenged and helped you in your walk with Christ.

Pastor Brad Tuttle

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Believing the Best

by Karen Holford
written by Karen Holford

Believing the best is a challenge. It is so easy to focus on what’s wrong with someone rather than on what’s right about them. It’s the natural human response. But when we do this, we risk discouraging others and damaging relationships. Even when it is necessary to point out a mistake, appreciation for the effort is needed in generous proportions to the necessary correction. Ten parts affirmation to one part correction is about right, the experts say. if you can’t think of then good things to say, then just affirm what you can and forget the correction this time.

We all become skilled through practice, and with each repetition, there’s opportunity for improvement. In the meantime, even a small dose of gratitude and affirmation keeps people motivated to good works. Even more importantly, it helps them feel good about who they are and the contribution they are making to the family enterprise. The secret is simple. Celebrate the kinds of behaviors you want to see more often. Appreciation is never wasted. You may even share in the rewards!

From Jumpstart Connections, Karen Holford and Ron Flowers, p. 15.

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The Most Expensive Christmas Gift

by Tom Terry
written by Tom Terry

Christmas is one of those holidays that is often misunderstood. Perhaps it’s because of the way that we have trivialized what the holiday represents. We hang stockings, decorate trees, arrange manger scenes, and give gifts. Of course no one is fooled, it’s the gift giving and receiving that has become the real focus of Christmas. We love to get stuff. And we get joy, happiness, and a lot of squishy good feelings when our loved ones rip off the wrapping to expose our expressions of love. That’s a form of “getting” too. Nothing wrong with that, in and of itself; but we are fooling ourselves if we think that benign gift giving and receiving is really representative of what God gave man in Jesus Christ. God’s great gift to man, in point of fact, didn’t happen on that first Christmas. It happened on Good Friday when Jesus was violently crucified for our sins. Had the crucifixion never happened, and the resurrection, then Christmas would be meaningless.

The incarnation of Jesus Christ – God becoming a man – was an event so powerful and significant that for 2,000 years man has counted his days and marked his history by the birth of the babe in the manger. While ancient kings the world over were positioning themselves to be worshiped like living deities to their populations and remembered like gods, the real Son of God busied himself with becoming an everyday man. And yet that humble event, regarded as a sweet treasured moment that gives hope to mankind was in fact sending a precious and only Son sentenced to die for the sins of the world. Christmas TV specials, and even church services willingly remember. We focus our Christmas remembrances on the coming of “Immanuel,” the God with us from Isaiah 7:14 and the “Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Prince of Peace,” of Isaiah 9:6. But the Christmas tradition, that is, the belief that God would send a Savior, appears in the Bible long before Isaiah’s hopeful promises. And in these foundational promises of God, from which even Isaiah’s prophesies spring, the seed of Adam, Abraham, and David was planted in blood.

The first prophecy about the coming of Jesus was given, not to man, but to the Evil One, Satan. After persuading Adam and Eve to break God’s law and eat the forbidden fruit, “The Lord God said to the serpent, ‘Because you have done this, cursed are you more than all cattle…I will put enmity between you and the woman, between your seed and her seed; he shall bruise you on the head, and you shall bruise him on the heal” (Genesis 3:14-15).

That first promise of a coming Messiah to crush Satan marked the beginning of Satan’s attempt to do to Christ, and to man, what God declared would happen to him. At each stage of biblical history, when God’s promise to send a “seed” unfolded, the Enemy made moves to trample that seed underfoot. At each stage when God gave a promise of the seed of the Savior, separation and death soon followed.

Following God’s first promise to Abram of a seed to come after him (Genesis 12:1-3,7), Sari his wife was separated from him by Pharaoh of Egypt, immediately threatening the fulfillment of God’s promise.

Immediately after receiving the second promise of a coming seed (Genesis 15:1-5), Hagar the Egyptian was introduced to become Abram’s concubine. She, along with her son Ishmael were a cause of division in the family and Sarah recognized the potential threat to Abraham’s son Isaac – who was to carry the promise of the seed.

In Genesis 17:1-8 God made his third promise to Abraham of a coming seed. Shortly thereafter Abraham traveled to Gerar where its king, Abimelech, took Sarah as a concubine. The urgency of the text indicates Sarah was in imminent jeopardy, but God spoke to Abimelech and saved her and his promise, from danger.

Just as Abraham his father had a wife that could bare no children, so too Isaac, the child of promise, was given a barren wife. God’s promise of a coming seed seemed in danger again – until He intervened and Rebekah was able to conceive (Genesis 25:21).

Immediately after receiving the promise from God about the coming seed, Isaac was driven from his land and his family’s welfare put in jeopardy (Genesis 26).

After receiving his father’s blessing in the line of succession, Jacob’s life is threatened by his brother Esau (Genesis 27:41), causing him to flee. When Jacob returned years later with his family, Esau rode out with 400 men to slaughter him. But Jacob’s godly wisdom intervened to change Esau’s heart, and he spared Jacob and his family (Genesis 33:1-16).

In II Samuel 7:12-13 God promised to make David a great man and give him a seed to rule on his throne forever. After securing his kingdom and reputation (chapters 8-10), David became lax, took Bathsheba in adultery, and from that point his kingdom and his family endured in chaos, with his sons and servants murdering one another. If not for God’s promise for his lineage to endure, David would have lost all.

THE PROMISE OF REDEMPTION HAD A HIGH PRICE

Even from these few examples of God’s promises concerning the coming Messiah we can see a pattern. From Adam until Isaac there was a focus on destroying a single family or to separate a single family that possessed the promise of the seed – the coming Savior. The objective was to prevent the birth of a promise-holder, or destroy the lineage. Immediately after each promise was given there was either separation or the threat of death.

Beginning with Jacob, Satan attempted to destroy whole families or a nation of people. Inferred in the text is that when multiple children were born to the possessor of the promise, Satan could not learn which particular person was to carry the seed, so he targeted the entire group. We can see an example of this even during the Exodus period. God promised to Abraham that his seed would be oppressed in Egypt for 400 years before being freed (Genesis 15:13-16). 400 years later as the time of God’s promise was at hand, Pharaoh ordered all baby boys killed in hopes of killing the one child that would lead Israel to freedom. This event was mimicked in Palestine when Herod ordered all boys less than two years of age to die in hopes of killing the promised Messiah (Matthew 2:16).

Even during the period of Israel’s exile, in Esther 3:7-11, Haman tried to wipe out the Jewish nation – which would have destroyed the fulfillment of God’s promise of the coming Savior.

In virtually every case when God made a promise about the coming seed (Christ), that promise was followed by separation or the threat of death. And as the promise was accompanied by violence, so too was its fulfillment.

Jesus’ birth was preceded by the promises of salvation from sin (Matthew 1:20-23), and the mantle of David’s kingdom (Luke 1:26-38). Just as the promises held separation and death, so did they also hold the same during Jesus’ birth. His family was forced to separate from the their home and nation, fleeing to Egypt for safety from Herod’s murderous intent (Matthew 2:13-15). At news of Jesus’ birth, but unable to find him, Herod issued sweeping orders to murder all children around Bethlehem aged two and under (Matthew 2:16-18). Separation and death even accompanied the promised infant Jesus into the world.

THE HIGH COST OF THE PRECIOUS GIFT

At Christmas we give gifts to celebrate the giving of the gift of eternal life in Christ. But when God made promises of a coming Savior, Satan worked separation and death – even at Jesus’ birth. But in God’s foreknowledge and sovereign plan, all of this foreshadowed the reason for Jesus’ coming – redemption from sin reconciling us to God (NON-separation), defeating spiritual death (LIFE in Christ). The birth of Jesus was only the beginning. Jesus’ incarnation culminated in the cross where all of the promises of God were fulfilled – including separation from the Father (Matthew 27:46), and Christ’s death for us.

* The promises of God in Christ were accompanied by separation. Satan’s separation is to separate us from God. But Christ’s separation from God at the cross brought us into a right relationship with Him (Romans 6:5-11).
* The promises of God, while bringing life, are sometimes accompanied by death, or fulfilled through death, such as Christ’s death on the cross – the reason for Christmas.
* All who will attain or live under the promises of God must share in the conditions of both the promises and the fulfillment: Separation from the world – II Corinthians 6:14-17, and death to sin – Romans 6:5-11, Colossians 3:1-3, II Timothy 2:11-13.

We can enjoy the holidays, family reunions, gift giving, and feasting on Christmas. But our joyful celebrations can never truly represent the incredible sacrifice that accompanied the promises and the first Christmas. Nor can our celebrations contain the real substance of meaning behind the incarnation of Christ. That comes during the other 364 days of the year as we live out what Christ intended – putting to death the deeds of the sinful nature, and separating ourselves from an evil world system in total dedication to the One and Only True Living God.

The words “peace on earth” come from the story of Jesus Christ’s birth in Luke 2:14. The problem is that only half the verse is quoted. The full verse actually reads: “Glory to God in the highest and peace on earth among men with whom God is pleased.” The first implication, and later what becomes direct statements in the New Testament is that God is not pleased with most men. The second implication is that God came to earth in the form of a man to do something about it.

Let’s drive this home more directly. Christmas, that is, the birth of Jesus Christ, is about three things:

1. The Incarnation: God became a man in Jesus Christ
2. The Humiliation: God experienced death as a man
3. The Exaltation: God experienced resurrection as a man

The fact is that there would be no Christmas without Easter. Easter gives Christmas it’s meaning. Without the death and resurrection of Jesus, what would his birth matter to us? His claim to incarnation would be nothing more than unproven words. If Jesus really is God in human flesh, if he really did suffer a humiliating death He could have prevented through the exercise of his deity, and if he really did rise from the dead never to die again, then Christmas is a lot more than “Peace on earth,” and a year-end boost for the economy. It is about the reason for His incarnation in the first place.

CHRISTMAS IS ABOUT OUR NEED FOR A SAVIOR

Christmas is offensive to some because:

1. The incarnation of Jesus Christ points to man’s need for a Savior
2. The humiliation of Jesus Christ proves man is sinful and in need of a Savior
3. The exaltation of Jesus Christ proves the incarnation and requires submission to that Savior.

As long as Christmas was regulated to gift-giving and good feelings, saying “Merry Christmas” wasn’t really a big deal. But as Evangelicals have gained greater influence in the last 20 years, so has the more important historical meaning of the Christmas season. That meaning is written clearly in the text of the Bible (which the same crowd wants kept out of schools). As the meaning of Christmas, and its year long relevance has become clearer in American society, so has the need for some to regulate any reference to it. If its meaning can’t be obscured, then it must be absconded.

I leave you with a passage from the Bible about Christmas. It is not a traditional passage about the Christmas season, but it is the passage that gives us the meaning of Christmas in what may be the plainest language. This passage not only explains the meaning of Christmas, but what is expected of us when we understand that meaning.

“Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Jesus Christ, who although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bondservant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. For this reason God also highly exalted Him and bestowed on Him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow of those in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and that every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the Glory of God the Father.” (Philippians 2:5-11 NASB)

Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year – which is also another celebration of Jesus’ birth. 😉

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