https://youtu.be/Q5-cs1wLTL8
sinners
Recently I received a thoughtful question from a reader asking if homosexuality is a “worse” sin than others in God’s view. Here’s my answer.
The point isn’t that homosexual sin is worse than other sins, but that it’s a result of and related to idolatry.
Romans 1:22-27 says:
22 Claiming to be wise, they became fools, 23 and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things.
24 Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, 25 because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen.
26 For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; 27 and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error.
Ezekiel 16:48-50 is a passage that is widely used now to defend the position that God doesn’t hate homosexuality. Those who cite it to defend this position say that Sodom was destroyed not because of homosexual sin, but rather because they were proud and didn’t care for the poor.
As I live, declares the Lord God, your sister Sodom and her daughters have not done as you and your daughters have done. Behold, this was the guilt of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride, excess of food, and prosperous ease, but did not aid the poor and needy. They were haughty and did an abomination before me. So I removed them, when I saw it. (Ezekiel 16:48-50)
Ezekiel is not saying God didn’t hate the homosexual lust in the Genesis account (see Jude 7 below), but rather that the sin of Israel “whoring after other gods” was worse than the sins of Sodom. (Ezekiel 16 pictures Israel as a young woman who God protected and provided for but then she turned away from his love to seek other lovers more brazenly than a prostitute.)
Sodom was “haughty and did an abomination” (the abomination likely includes homosexual actions) before the Lord, but Israel’s sin was far greater because it included the rejection of the covenant they made with God in the days of Moses, specifically that they would not have any gods before him (Exodus 24:7, Jeremiah 11:10, Hosea 6:7).
This act of Israel, we are told, is beyond the sin of Sodom. Sodom wasn’t in a covenant relationship with God; so no matter how despicable their actions were, it would be impossible for them to commit the same sin of Israel. Thankfully, despite Israel’s rejection, God remained faithful to his promises and fulfilled them in Jesus.
1 Corinthians 6:18-20 explicitly says there is something different about sexual sin—ALL sexual sin—not just homosexual acts:
18Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. 19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.
One of the things I say to homosexuals is that I have many inclinations, including sexual ones, which I must daily say no to. (I realize that sounds lame because I’m married and therefore can sometimes say yes to my sexual impulses.) Furthermore, many heterosexual believers are not married and many are in marriages where disabilities and other problems mean they cannot EVER say yes to their sexual impulses. Unfair? Perhaps, and certainly unequal. But consider a thousand other kinds of unfairness where some people can have and do what others can’t.
I have godly friends who continuously say no to homosexual temptations (beginning with lust) and others who continuously say no to heterosexual temptations (beginning with lust). We are also to say no to greed, envy, pride, temptations to theft and slander and many other things, and are to say yes to the righteous nature of Christ and the empowerment of the Holy Spirit to resist sin. This is often difficult, but not impossible, by the grace and power of God.
It’s interesting to note that the list of seven deadly sins articulated in Proverbs 6:16-19 (pride, envy, gluttony, lust, anger, greed, and sloth) does not include homosexuality. This shows that other sins are as serious as homosexuality, though of course it doesn’t imply that homosexual relations (and heterosexual immorality) are not grave sins. Scripture says this:
Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)
In a similar way, Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding towns gave themselves up to sexual immorality and perversion. They serve as an example of those who suffer the punishment of eternal fire. (Jude 7)
But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. (Ephesians 5:5)
But there is good news—the Bible also records the transforming power of the gospel in 1 Corinthians 6:9-11:
Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
Notice how Paul addresses the Corinthians in past tense. Some of these people were living ungodly and unfulfilled lives, but through the hope and power of the gospel they have now been washed, justified, and sanctified in the name of the Lord Jesus. That is good news and a testimony of the true hope, joy and fulfillment that abide in a relationship with Christ. I personally know those who have lived as homosexuals for many years before repenting, turning to Christ and turning away from their homosexual lifestyle. They are now living faithful lives in which they say no to temptation, as heterosexual believers should say no to their temptations.
It is a hard calling to take up our cross daily and follow Christ, but the rewards are immense, not just later, but now. Consider Matthew 16:25: “For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.” In other words, the one who does what he wants to do will lose his life, while the one who will lose his life in submission to Christ, doing what HE wants him to do, will find it.
In the finding of life we discover what we’re meant to be and what WILL make us happy, not what we and the world have told us (falsely) would make us happy. Of course, all this must be done by His grace and empowerment, and not merely by our labors of self-discipline, which will ultimately fail without Christ.
An evil man is ensnared in his transgression, but a righteous man sings and rejoices. (Proverbs 29:6)
www.epm.org. Used by permission.
Dear Roger,
It seems like many people use the phrase, “Don’t judge me,” to justify any sort of behavior. In Matthew 7:1-2 Jesus says, “Do not judge or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” What does this mean?
Dear Lee,
I believe that today’s eroding culture with no absolutes is developing into a society where people feel free to do anything they want with no consequences.
Hence, we often hear “You have no right to judge me because I have the freedom to do anything that I want.”
We need to remember that the framers of the American Constitution were clear in saying, “We have the freedom to do what is right.” The idea that we can do anything we want is foreign to the United States Constitution.
We would expect a “don’t judge me” attitude from a humanistic, self–driven, uninhibited, and spiritually lost world of people who do not know Christ.
Unfortunately, we often find the same sort of attitude from Christians. When that occurs, we have to make ‘judgment calls.’
For example, “Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently” (Galatians 6:1).
We find here two judgment calls we must make. First, we have to choose which Christians are spiritually qualified to confront those in sin. Second, we must choose whether or not this person’s behavior is a sin.
If you ever go to the Chicago airport you want to be certain to stop by Mrs. Paul’s Cookies. They are big, juicy, and filled with nuts, chocolate, fruit, and cinnamon. I try to stop there every time we fly through Chicago.
I love this story:
A woman passing through O’Hare airport bought a small package of Mrs. Paul’s cookies. A young man sat alone at a table for four. She asked if she could sit down; he graciously consented. She pulled out her newspaper and proceeded to read. Presently she heard the crinkle of paper. She peered over her newspaper to see the young man take a cookie out of the bag. She was incensed. So, she took a cookie and pulled the bag to her side of the table. Moments later the bag crinkled. The young man was at it again. She glared at him, pulled the bag back over to her side and took out another cookie for herself. She watched incredulously as he reached in the bag and withdrew the last cookie. She glared as he broke the last cookie, slid one half across the table; put the other half in his mouth. Angry, incensed and fuming, she proceeded to her gate and waited for her plane to board. Finally, it was time to get on. She opened her purse to retrieve her boarding pass, and there right on top was her bag of Mrs. Paul’s cookies.
Lee, making accurate judgment calls is difficult. So many things get in the way. If we choose to enter into the judging arena, here are eight truths about how Christians can do it right:
1. Jesus warns us not to live with a judgmental heart. However, when we must make a ‘judgment call,’ our work is not finished until we help with restoration.
Understanding Jesus’ teaching of, “Don’t Judge,” needs all the verses from Matthew 7:1-12.
Let me summarize Jesus’ teaching. Then we can more clearly understand and apply his teachings on judging.
– Don’t judge.
– Take beam out of your own eye—then you will be able to take twig out of your brother’s eye.
– Discriminate carefully who you can or can’t approach.
– Don’t cast pearls before pigs.
– Insight and compassion are essential.
– Ask, seek, and knock and the Father will give you what you need to help those stuck in the mud get cleaned up and on their way again.
– Follow the ‘Golden Rule’ to treat people as you would have them treat you.
2. Christians are primarily in the loving and need-meeting business—not the judging.
Do not judge or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. – Matthew 7:1-2
This critical spirit reminds me of the conscientious wife who could never please her ultra-critical husband. At breakfast, if the eggs were scrambled, he wanted them poached. If they were poached, he wanted them scrambled. One morning, the wife had a stroke of genius. She poached one egg and scrambled the other. He peered at the plated and snorted, “You scrambled the wrong one.”
A number of church surveys, including those by Barna.com, asked non-Christians why they didn’t go to church. The comments were alarming:
For example, they said things like: “Christians are those who are against this and that. They’re always protesting something.”
78% of those surveyed said that evangelical Christians are “the most judgmental people in America.”
Many lost people today are staying away from church in droves. Why? They feel more condemnation than compassion.
The early Christians were known as the people who loved God and loved each other. Somewhere through the years we lost that reputation.
Jesus is warning us of the sin of seeking out the worst instead of the best in others. I know some people who are always looking to find the worst in others.
3. The job of the Holy Spirit is to judge and convict. The job of a Christian is to love and meet needs.
The Holy Spirit’s job is to judge and convict.
Jesus told his disciples that he would send the Holy Spirit to convict the world of guilt in regard to sin and righteousness and judgment (John 16:7-8).
The Christian’s job is to love and meet needs.
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8).
We often get these two mixed up.
The time has come to stop playing someone else’s Holy Spirit.
4. If we choose to enter the judging arena, we must first clean up our own lives.
Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. – Matthew 7:3-5
Christ is saying that in our condition we are quite incapable of condemning or judging anyone.
We each need to fix our own eye before working on our brother’s eye.
I remember the story of a woman who spent most of her life judging people as worthy for heaven or hell. When she died and went to heaven she was shocked to discover that no one expected her!
Judging work is for the spiritually mature.
5. We approach people as “brothers and sisters” who need to be restored—not as targets who need to be condemned.
This involves time and sacrifice on our part.
Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. – Galatians 6:1-2
Who is our brother/sister? Someone with whom there is a relationship, and to whom there is a measure of accountability. The purpose is always remedial, to correct and restore.
All of this flows out of a context of relationships.
Can you imagine that shouting at people you have no relationship with might not do much good?
Once upon a time I marched in a pro-life demonstration. We circled the abortion clinic calling the women who entered things like, “murderer” and “baby killer.” Some women turned away. Others hung their head in shame and still entered the office.
Then, I bowed my head in shame. Paul said, “Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently (Galatians 6:1-2).”
I stepped out of line and decided that my energy needed to be more with the Crisis Pregnancy Center whose goals are to support, love, and care. Love stands by and gives solutions. Yes, the babies must be saved, but the mothers need redemption and salvation too.
Am I willing to walk with them through the process of redemption?
The ultimate goal of any discipline or criticism is to leave the person with the feeling that he has been helped, not condemned.
6. We discern receptivity. Not everyone is approachable.
“Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces (Matthew 7:6).”
This verse is easy to understand if you know that Jesus used a literary form called a chiasm
The first phrase rhymes with the fourth phrase and the second phrase rhymes with the third phrase.
I’ll write it out for you: “Do not give dogs what is sacred. If you do, they may turn and tear you to pieces. Do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet.”
Will the person you’re approaching be receptive or not? Will they perhaps mock and make fun?
Jesus may have been thinking of Proverbs 9:7-8 when he said “Don’t judge.” Rebuke a wise man and he will love you. However the opposite is also true.
Whoever corrects a mocker invites insults; whoever rebukes the wicked incurs abuse. Do not rebuke mockers or they will hate you; rebuke the wise and they will love you. – Proverbs 9:7-8
7. Eventually we will seek God’s wisdom on how best to minister to brothers and sisters who have slipped off the track.
Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! – Matthew 7:7-11
We usually look at these verses in such a selfish, personal perspective. Look again. They are in the context of getting good gifts so we can help meet the needs of others.
God is showing us the heart of a Father for His kids.
This is the heart we are to have in helping people who have messed up their lives. If all you are going to do is criticize then keep your mouth shut. If you are going to intercede and bear their burdens then figure out how to meet their needs and go help restore them.
The right heart motivates us to intercede for these people.
Could you imagine that taking the time to minister to real, deep-seated needs—instead of instantly wanting to judge people’s faults—might be what God calls compassion?
8. We treat people as we would like to be treated.
So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. – Matthew 7:12
Who likes to be yelled at? When you have messed up your life, who do you want to help you? Someone who criticizes you and tells you all the things you did wrong and leaves you feeling condemned and destroyed?
Or, do you want someone who comes along side of you and puts their arm around you and helps you out of the mud?
I think we know the answer to that.
Well, Lee, if you’re already spiritually mature, judge well. If not, continue spiritual growth until you’re ready and able.
Love, Roger
Did you know that every time a lion pride hunts together it is a lightly organized operation? They do not test their potential prey for weakness like other predators do. The only weakness they are looking for is isolation. If they can remove a single animal from it’s herd, lunch is easily delivered, even if the animal they are hunting is much larger or faster than the lions themselves.
Knowing our place
We are much like a lion’s unsuspecting prey, because we are all made weak and vulnerable by isolation. We may be living life, oblivious to the threat, but the threat is there, and it is real.
First Peter 5:8 puts it this way, “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”
Staying disconnected has the power to do much more than simply make us feel lonely. It may be what the enemy uses to prey upon you and bring you down.
Back to the Garden
Let’s head back to the Garden of Eden to take a look at exactly how isolation led to the fall of all mankind.
In Genesis 3:2-5, the serpent, who likely had been lurking in the grass for a while, sees his opportunity to deceive God’s children and moves in for the kill.
“And the woman said to the serpent, ‘We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, “You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.’” But the serpent said to the woman, ‘You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.’”
I believe Satan was hunting Eve. He waited for a moment when she was not surrounded by her community. Verse six tells us that Adam was nearby, but maybe he was just slightly out of earshot. And even if he wasn’t, Eve apparently didn’t take the time to talk to him about what was happening. We see in her the first woman with an independent streak as she determined that she would process the information Satan was giving her and make the decision all on her own.
Would things have turned out differently for Eve if she had simply said, “Let me talk to my husband about it,” before taking a bite of that rotten fruit? Certainly, she would have been even more protected against this attack if she had talked to her husband and consulted with God. God had given her a double-layered safety net through a relationship with him and a relationship with Adam, but she cut right through the net and put herself in grave danger by deciding to go at it alone. What happened next reminds us that we are all daughters of Eve.
Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths.
And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. (Gen. 3:7-8)
Isolation set Eve up to sin. Then, her shame led to an even deeper isolation and feeling of loneliness.
Here’s the big takeaway: When we step outside of community, we become infinitely more susceptible to temptation and sin. In this way, loneliness is less of an emotion and more of a military strategy effectively used by our enemy. Our shame then lies to us and tells us that isolation is the only way to regain control. In this way, loneliness and shame become a two-edged sword that is very effective at takings us out at the knees.
A church at the stadium
Researchers recently surveyed those who regularly attend church services to get a feel for their experiences. Sixty-six percent of the people they talked to said they feel they have a “real and personal connection” with God while attending church.
However, the study also revealed that more than a quarter of those surveyed agreed with the statement that church feels “like a group of people sharing the same space in a public event but who are not connected in a real way.” Another nine percent of those surveyed weren’t sure if they were connecting to others in their church or not. I have to wonder if the people in this group know what connectedness feels like if or they’ve settled for a synthetic substitute.
What people were saying is that for them church feels like going to a football game. They stadium is packed. They are surrounded by people who all want the same thing. The mood is light, but they are not really connected. At the end of the day, the sermon, the service, the game, they will go back home to their lonely lives with the same sense they could never tell what’s really going on.
I think this trend is less a reflection on the state of our churches, and more evidence of a personal problem. To start, many of us have a bad theology of the church. We don’t get that God’s clear vision for the church is that it be our family—the unit in which we become more like Christ— and the hub of the gospel. Instead we think of it more as a social club. What’s more, as individuals we refuse to get real about our sin. We want to keep up appearances. We want people to think we’re really good people. We prefer to think of church as a country club where we wear our best clothes, including a pretty mask, instead of a hospital where we can get bound up and healed through the loving care of others.
Are you lonely? If so, is it possible that sin is the root cause? Can you look back and see that Satan waited for moments when you were outside your community? He attacked, and then he lied to you and told you shame should banish you to the bushes, making you feel even more alone.
It’s time to fall into your safety net. Seek God, and ask him to reveal the sin in your life. Confess it to him right then and there. Don’t hide yourself or your junk. But don’t stop there. Tell your Christian friends. Tell your pastor. Tell your mentor. Tell your family. Keep telling until you see the lion pride slink away and set their sights in a different direction.
https://erlc.com/resource-library/articles/how-loneliness-makes-us-vulnerable-to-sin
If you grew up in a conservative evangelical church like I did, it is possible there is a story from the Bible that was repeatedly used to teach you about sex – the story of David and Bathsheba in 2nd Samuel chapters 11 and 12. While our teachers’ intentions were good, the way the story was taught has planted seeds in our minds that have grown into weeds we must now deal with if we are to side with Jesus in the time of #MeToo and #TimesUp. In this short essay, I hope to give you a different understanding of David and Bathsheba, one that doesn’t just focus on sex, but also on power.
The Way I Learned the Story
David has outlasted his predecessor and been crowned king. He has defeated his enemies, he has returned the ark to Jerusalem, and he has constructed his place. He is at the peak of his power and his place in the history books as Israel’s greatest king was secure.
Then, on a Spring night, David took a stroll on the roof of his palace. While walking, he saw a beautiful woman bathing on a neighboring rooftop. He asked his servants to find out who the woman was. They told him it was Bathsheba, the wife of one of David’s soldiers. David sent a servant to get her, he had sex with her, and then he sent her home.
A little while later, Bathsheba sent the king a note that read, “I am pregnant.”
David’s first thought was to cover up that the baby was his. He brought Bathsheba’s husband home from war thinking the man would have sex with his wife while he was on leave, but out of loyalty to his troops who were still on the battlefield, Bathsheba’s husband wouldn’t sleep with her.
When David’s original plan failed, the king told his generals to arrange it so Bathsheba’s husband would die on the battlefield. After the husband was killed, David gave Bathsheba time to mourn before he married her.
This might have been the end of the story, one more political scandal cleaned before it damaged the throne if it had not been for God. In the story, God sent Nathan the prophet to speak to David. Nathan told David a story about two men, a rich man, and a poor man. The rich man had lots of sheep. The poor man had one sheep for which he cared a great deal. One night the rich man needed to feed a traveler. Not wanting to waste his own sheep, the rich man took the poor man’s sheep.
At the end of Nathan’s story, David was angry at the rich man and wanted justice for the poor man. With dramatic flair, Nathan explained to David that David was the rich man and Bathsheba’s husband was the poor man. Nathan then told David that his power would begin to fade because of the terrible thing he has done.
What I Learned in Church about Sex
Growing up in an Evangelical Southern Baptist church, I heard this story at least once a year. My Sunday school teachers and youth leaders pulled it out whenever it was time to talk about sex. It was used as a warning for boys on the dangers of sexual temptation. The central message was, “Have sex before marriage and bad things will happen, like a girl getting pregnant.”
I was told that David’s first mistake was being on the roof at midnight. If David had been in bed like he was supposed to be, this would have never happened.
David’s second mistake was looking for too long. My teachers explained that, Yes, there are beautiful women in the world, but don’t look at them. If you do, sexual temptation might overtake you.” Through this analysis of the story, my teachers gave the power to Bathsheba’s beauty. If lingered on, it would be more than any man could bear.
Above all else, it was important for young men to know that they should never investigate sexual temptation. That was David’s third mistake. He was tempted by Bathsheba’s powerful beauty and he then he dwelled on it. He did the Old Testament equivalent of Googling her. My teachers were clear, “Don’t Google sexual temptation.”
According to this line of teaching, David’s great failure was having sex with Bathsheba. All the other bad things that happened (trying to trick the husband, then killing him, then being lectured by Nathan) were born from the act of sex. If David just hadn’t of given in to his desires, everything would have been alright. It was implied (and sometimes openly stated) that if a man lingers in lustful thoughts, those thoughts will when and the man will fall into sin. The only way to escape such temptation was to run from it.
These teachings stuck with me for a long time. When I was in college, I remember walking through the mall with friends who had come from similar upbringings. As we walked by the Victoria Secret store, we’d talk loudly about how much we liked our shoes. The absurd exercise was a way to acknowledge to everyone around us that we were not going to be like David. We weren’t going to look at Bathsheba. We were going to look at our shoes because the beautiful women advertised in the windows of the store would not tempt us. We were aware that just one lingering glance at a poster could take us down a road that would end in an unwanted baby.
When I started in the ministry as a young adult, I was warned about meeting one-on-one with young women. If a meeting with a woman was necessary, it should not be done in public because people might think the meeting was romantic in nature and that would be bad. It should also not be done in private because then I wouldn’t have accountability for my behavior. I also should not ride to meetings in the same car with a woman, because that could lead to sexual temptation. Honestly, the only way meeting one-on-one with a woman would work is if I did it in my office, with the door open, and another guy was sitting outside just in case. Therefore, in the end, it was best just not to have one-on-one meetings with women unless another guy was around.
Consequences of that Teaching
Now in my forties with young boys of my own, I realize this line of teaching, although well intentioned, planted some bad seeds in my mind.
§ It taught me that David, and all men, were the victims in the story. David was being challenged by powerful temptation, the beauty of a woman, and he understandably failed to resist it. The teaching never went so far as to excuse him from responsibility, but it implied that giving in was the foregone conclusion if he remained exposed to the power of a beautiful woman.
§ It also taught me that Bathsheba and beautiful women like her were tools of temptation. Therefore, they were on the side of temptation. While they weren’t the problem, they weren’t helping. Their beauty was powerful and should be avoided unless appropriate romantic involvement was intended.
§ Finally, it taught me that the perspective that matters was David’s. This story was about him, and it was a tragedy. Poor David had fallen into temptation and lost things because of it. Just think of what an amazing king he might have continued to be if this hadn’t happened to him.
As women have begun to speak out about how they were assaulted, I feel the presence of these teachings in our cultural conversation.
When an allegation arises, we whisper about the women because we can’t help but ask Bathsheba, “Should you really have been bathing on the roof? Don’t you know how dangerous your beauty is for men?” We want to know the man’s side of the story, wondering where his moment of failure came; and after the second or third story is shared, we start asking if this whole thing has gone too far. We question allegations, asking for investigations into them, and then questioning the validity of the investigations when they do happen. We even mourn the loss of the assaulters when they are held accountable, saying things like, “Isn’t it sad that David never reached his full potential as the king because this happened to him.”
The Misuse of Power
Teachings like this version of David and Bathsheba have not served us well. I would, therefore, like to take a different look at the story. One that doesn’t place sex at the center, but focuses on the real issue – the issue we tend to ignore in conversations about sexual assault – power.
Let’s start with Bathsheba since she is the true victim of the story.
Notice that she is never the one taking action.
§ David looks at her.
§ David summons her.
§ David “lays” with her.
§ David tries to trick her husband.
§ David murders her husband.
§ David then marries her.
In contrast to David, she has no power in the narrative. At every turn, she is acted upon. This is not something she chose. This was forced upon her.
Also notice that, excluding a three-word note she writes, Bathsheba is silent in the story. In not giving her a voice, the storyteller is communicating to us that she could not speak. It is a stretch to say that she likely felt denying the king was impossible. He clearly had the power to kill her husband and end her life. She had no choice. Which is why this is not a story about an extra-marital affair. It is a story about sexual assault.
David had all the power. Bathsheba had no power. David abused his power to take what he wanted from Bathsheba.
Yet it is her life that is over. Because David stole her, she loses her home and her husband, and she is forced into a harem she didn’t ask to be a part of. Bathsheba’s life as she knows it ends because David took her.
To hammer this point home, let’s consider Nathan. The prophet speaks for God in the story. God and Nathan do not seem to think the problem is sex. They don’t lecture David about being in the wrong place or letting his eye linger on Bathsheba for too long. When Nathan arrives on the scene to speak to David, he tells a story about power. There was a rich man and a poor man. The rich man took the poor man’s things and this was the great injustice.
Notice also that Nathan does not lecture Bathsheba. He does not hold her accountable for tempting David. He does not criticize her for bathing on the roof. He does not tell her she should have covered up or been more careful. He does not have a story for her about sheep and power. In this story, Nathan sees Bathsheba as the innocent victim that she is. She is the poor man who did nothing wrong.
In Sunday School, we never got to the end of the story, and the end of the story is important.
Before leaving David, Nathan explains that because of David’s sin – his abuse of power over Bathsheba – the baby Bathsheba has given birth to will die.
And then the child gets sick.
And David refuses to eat, lying on the ground in mourning all day and night.
And after seven days, the child dies.
The conclusion of the story is that David is made to feel as powerless as Bathsheba was. Through his abuse of power, he is given a son, an heir, a symbol that his family name will go on; but then he is left to lay on the floor helpless and mourning as he watches that future die, just as Bathsheba had to watch as David destroyed her life.
It is clear to me now, as a grown man with sons, that while this story has sex in it, it is not about sex. It is about power. David had all of it, he used it to sexually assault Bathsheba, and the future she was building was destroyed because of it.
Where Should Christians Stand?
The biggest lesson for me (and the lesson I’m trying to teach my boys is) from the story of David and Bathsheba is about how Christ followers should respond when the story is repeated.
When the course of a person’s life is changed because someone with power abuses it to take what they want, where should the people of God be?
Nathan has two roles in this story.
First, he fearlessly holds power accountable.
David is king. He has armies of warriors at his disposal. He has proven himself to be a mighty warrior in battle. He has all the money, all the fame, all the resources of the kingdom.
Nathan only has his reputation and his integrity. He is the man who speaks for God.
Yet Nathan does not hesitate to look David in the eye and say, “You were wrong. You were wrong and you are going to pay for it.”
If we are going to call ourselves followers of God, we must not hesitate to speak truth to those in power. When they abuse their power (and they will because they always do), we must stand and say, “No. This behavior is unacceptable and it will be made right.”
Second, Nathan stands with the powerless.
After this story, Nathan disappears from the narrative. He doesn’t come back until David is an old man, on his deathbed. And when Nathan appears again, in the first chapter of 1st Kings, we see him standing next to Bathsheba. He encourages her to go to David and advocate for her second son, the son who was born after her life had been reset, Solomon. It is Nathan that orchestrates Bathsheba’s son Solomon becoming king. In the same way, when we see injustice happen, if we want to follow God we must also fight for the empowerment of the victims.
I tell my sons at every opportunity, “If you want to know where God is, find the people with the least amount of power, and go fight for them. You’ll find God there.”
The lesson the story of David and Bathsheba should teach us is not about sex. It’s about power. And if the church of America wants to call itself the people of God, if it wants to play the role of Nathan in the story, then it must fearlessly speak truth to power and stand alongside the victims, because that is where we will find God.
Dear Roger,
How can God forgive some one who kills people or rapes our children, a person who sins their whole lives [sic], and then accepts the Lord before their death bed?
Anonymous
Dear Anonymous
Allowing last-second conversions to open the door to Heaven for rapists and murderers doesn’t see fair—and is not fair. However, the Kingdom of God is not based on fairness. The Kingdom is based on Grace and Mercy. Grace is when God gives people what they don’t deserve. Mercy is when God doesn’t give people what they do deserve. Grace and Mercy are able to operate because of Christ’s work on the cross to forgive everyone’s sin, not just the sins of the “good people”.
Grace to rapists and murderers means that they are given Heaven when they don’t deserve it. Mercy to them means that they don’t get Hell when they do deserve it. When murderers and rapists receive Christ on their death beds and are given grace and mercy instead of judgment and Hell we see just how powerful is Christ’s death on the cross and how long are the arms of grace and mercy!
By the way, from God’s perspective of perfection, even the people who don’t murder and rape are no more deserving of Heaven than those who do! Paul declared in Romans 3:22-24: “There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. He went on to declare in Romans 6:23: “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
The real question, then, is not so much, “How can God let into Heaven rapists and murderers who surrender to Christ on their death beds?” The real question is “How can God allow any sinner into His perfect Heaven?” Even one of our sins would defile the place! Jesus’ mercy and grace are so powerful that they cover every sin with forgiveness. As we enter into Heaven Jesus places on us white robes of purity which allow us to live in Heaven—all sins forgiven—without defiling and ruining the place!
By the way, few of us would doubt that not only was the Apostle Paul one of the greatest Christians ever, he is certainly now in Heaven. But, consider the fact that he was a killer and murderer, too. Paul revealed in Acts 22:4: “I persecuted the followers of this Way to their death, arresting both men and women and throwing them into prison.” Again he revealed in 1 Corinthians 15:9-10: “For I am the least of the apostles and do not even deserve to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by the grace of God I am what I am.” Jesus extended His grace and mercy to Paul—even after he killed men, (and apparently) women and children as well.
Paul brought this whole issue into focus by declaring in 1 Timothy 1:15: “Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst.”
Well, Anonymous, I hope my answer gives you some insight into the tremendous, far-reaching and forgiving power of God’s grace and mercy.
Love, Roger
PS. While the ground at the foot of the cross is level, Hell has multiple levels. Peter identifies the lowest level as “tartarus”. This is the “hottest” level and is reserved for the demons who rebelled with Satan and were cast out of Heaven. Adolf Hitler is in a hotter level than a “nice” person who dies having their sin unforgiven.
PPS. Did you know that God never created Hell for sinners to go there. It was created for the fallen angels (demons). Unfortunately, after Adam and Eve ushered sin into the world, Isaiah tells us that God had to enlarge Hell for all the sinners who were choosing to go there.