God alone is the author and definer of human sexuality and the context in which sexual intimacy is to occur. Sex, sexual identity, and sexuality were created for His purpose and to advance His Kingdom.
www.ocbf.org.
Sex as God intended—in marriage, between a man and a woman—is a pleasure to be celebrated (see Proverbs 5:15-19). Sex outside of marriage brings serious negative consequences—emotional, physical, and spiritual. Promising long-term pleasure it can’t deliver, addiction to sex and pornography enslave and degrade everyone involved. “[The adulterer] follows her, as an ox goes to the slaughter. . . . He does not know that it will cost him his life” (Proverbs 7:22-23).
Research data from 16,000 American adults who were asked confidentially how many sex partners they’d had in the preceding year proved the same point made in the book of Proverbs: “Across men and women alike, the data show that the optimal number of partners is one.” [1] Other research similarly revealed that “people with more sexual partners are less happy.” [2]
Satan would like us to believe that people who have sex outside marriage are happier, but that’s a lie.
Sin Does Not Lead to Lasting Happiness
The unhappiest-looking person I’ve ever seen—face drawn and haggard, eyes vacant—was holding a sign that said, “Gay and happy about it.” I’m not suggesting, of course, that homosexuals can never be happy. God’s common grace offers some happiness to all. But Romans 1:27 speaks of those making these choices as “receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error.” Romans lists many other sins God hates, yet that one is singled out as particularly self-punishing.
I’ve had long, honest talks with those living the “gay lifestyle” who are decidedly miserable—just like many heterosexuals who have idols of their own.
Teenagers and single adults often face heavy pressure to pretend they’re having a great time sleeping around, when privately they’re filled with self-loathing and disillusionment, because reality never lives up to the promises. Likewise, there’s pressure on gay people to project an image of fulfillment. Some people—both heterosexuals and homosexuals—go out of their way to publicly celebrate their promiscuous behavior, all while trying to ignore the emptiness and pain. With the Satan-scripted obligatory claim, “[Fill in sin] makes me happy,” they offer false advertising for the father of lies, who relishes their self-destruction.
Little Idols vs. Infinite God
There’s a tragic irony in the positive term gay. No matter how happy gay may sound, these are the facts about the suicide rate among homosexuals:
The risk of suicide among gay and lesbian youth is fourteen times higher than for heterosexual youth.
Between 30 and 45 percent of transgendered people report having attempted suicide.
I didn’t get these statistics from religious conservatives, but from a secular website sympathetic to gay and lesbian issues. [3] A study that analyzed twenty-five earlier studies regarding sexual orientation and mental health showed that “homosexuals and bisexuals are about 50% more likely than their heterosexual counterparts to suffer from depression and abuse drugs.” [4]
For many years, it was widely assumed that this much higher level of unhappiness was due to humiliation over others’ disapproval. Though society has become much more accepting of the LGBQT lifestyle, unhappiness persists even among those surrounded by affirmation. Being gay or transgender may be celebrated in our culture, but that doesn’t change its nature or eliminate the harm to those engaging in such a lifestyle.
Jackie Hill Perry, author of Gay Girl, Good God: The Story of Who I Was, and Who God Has Always Been, writes:
All of the dead things I loved—the things I said, thought, did, talked about, watched, walked in, listened to, promoted, and went to bed with—had a measure of satisfaction in them, but they were never enough. I was made for an infinite God, so how could some little idol make me whole or happy?
Likewise, countless heterosexuals’ lives have been destroyed by believing the false promise of happiness in an affair. I know many people who’ve had affairs and have spent the rest of their lives regretting it.
Radical Steps Required, Great Joy Promised
The god of lust dominates countless lives in our culture. Jesus said, “I tell you that any one who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28, NIV). Then He added, “If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you. . . . If your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off and throw it from you” (Matthew 5:29-30, NASB).
How decisively do we deal with the idol of lust? To find true happiness, radical steps are required to dethrone it and put God in His proper place. Christopher Yuan puts it simply in his book Holy Sexuality and the Gospel: “Our biggest problem is our sin nature, and victory is found only in Christ Jesus.”
This radical solution starts with salvation in Christ, which transforms our nature and dramatically affects our capacity to embrace greater happiness in God. Our justification by faith in Christ satisfies the demands of God’s holiness by exchanging our sins for Christ’s righteousness (see Romans 3:21-26).
In Future Grace, John Piper writes that we “must fight fire with fire. The fire of lust’s pleasures must be fought with the fire of God’s pleasures. . . . We must fight it with a massive promise of superior happiness. We must swallow up the little flicker of lust’s pleasure in the conflagration of holy satisfaction.”
Once believers are born again, sin is still present in our lives (see Romans 6:11-14; 1 John 1:8–2:2), but we have supernatural power to overcome it since we’ve died to sin (see Romans 6:6-9). God’s Holy Spirit indwells us and helps us obey Him and embrace the deeper happiness (see 2 Timothy 1:14). The result? We’re free to reject sin and its misery, and embrace righteousness, with its true and lasting happiness.
Beckett Cook, who lived for years as a gay man in Hollywood but later had a radical encounter with Jesus Christ, writes:
Surrendering my sexuality hasn’t been easy. I still struggle with vestiges of same-sex attraction, but denying myself, taking up my cross, and following Jesus is an honor. Any struggles I experience pale in comparison to the joy of a personal relationship with the one who created me and gives my life meaning. My identity is no longer in my sexuality; it’s in Jesus.
Sam Allberry has spent a lifetime wrestling with homosexual temptation. He writes: “Whatever we give up Jesus replaces, in godly kind and greater measure. No one who leaves will fail to receive, and the returns are extraordinary—a hundredfold. What we give up for Jesus does not compare to what he gives back. If the costs are great, the rewards are even greater, even in this life.”
One day God’s children will look back on this life with complete clarity. When we do, I believe we’ll see that our only true sacrifices were when we chose sin instead of Jesus. The “sacrifice” of following Jesus produces the greatest, most lasting happiness—both here and now, and forever.
DEFINITION
Sexuality refers to God’s anthropological design and pattern for the procreative relationship between male and female and to the experience of erotic desire within that design. Gender refers to biological differences in male and female embodiment and the different cultural ways in which the creational distinctions between male and female are manifested.
SUMMARY
Sexuality refers to God’s anthropological design and pattern for the procreative relationship between male and female and to the experience of erotic desire within that design. Gender refers to biological differences in male and female embodiment and the different cultural ways in which the creational distinctions between male and female are manifested. The creational narrative of Genesis 1–2 provides the Christian with the foundational truths behind these distinctions: God created humanity, male and female, in his image for one another. To deny any part of this teaching is to subject God’s purposeful design to the desires of humanity. While much of modern culture desires to deny these distinctions and to untether gender from sexuality, the New Testament reaffirms the Old Testament’s teaching on this topic and brings the male-female distinction to its culmination in the Christ-Church relationship.
A Christian framework for gender and sexuality begins with understanding that each find their origin, structure, and purpose within God’s will for creation. Gender and sexuality, from a Christian perspective, are enchanted realities imbued with divine meaning and purpose. But as the drama of Scripture unfolds, gender and sexuality become impacted by sin. Yet, in light of redemption, the original design and purpose of gender and sexuality are reaffirmed and heightened as the New Testament explains their ultimate telos—to reflect the Christ-Church union. The assumption that gender and sexuality are ordered by God, and for God, stands in stark contrast to modernity’s view that divinizes gender and sexuality, understanding both to be ordered to, and determined by, consent and human will alone.
Sexuality and Gender in God’s Design
When speaking of sexuality and gender, what is meant by these terms?
Sexuality can have broad and narrow meanings. In a broad rendering, sexuality refers to God’s anthropological design and pattern for the procreative relationship between male and female. In a narrower scope, sexuality refers to the experience of erotic desire. Accordingly, in Scripture, sexuality is a constitutive part of human nature and human experience shaped by God’s will for creation; it is not the singular defining aspect of human identity itself.
Gender can also have broad and narrow connotations. More broadly, gender refers to biological differences in male and female embodiment. Narrowly speaking, gender refers to the creational distinctions between male and female manifested in culture (e.g., baby girls adorned in pink; baby boys adorned in blue). Gender should be understood as the cultural reality resulting from God making men and women biologically sexed and distinct. Christians need to understand that as partakers of God’s good creation, we are to acknowledge and participate in culturally-appropriate gender distinctions. This is because each culture discovers culturally-defined ways to reflect the biological and created difference of men and women. This means Christians should abide by the gender norms set by their culture insofar as what the culture dictates does not transgress God’s moral law for upholding the sex distinction between male and female (Deut. 22:5; 1 Cor. 11:3–16). For example, cross-dressing is sinful because it violates the creational boundaries between male and female that come to be expressed in culturally-appropriate gender norms. We ought to care about the gender distinctions our culture holds up since gender distinctions are a common grace mechanism for acknowledging the innate differences of males from females.
Sexuality and gender are first made known in the creational accounts of Scripture. In Genesis 1:26–28, we read of God creating man and woman in His image. Equal in their dignity, but different in their design and calling, the man and woman are then commissioned to “be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion.” Genesis 1 communicates both the identity of male and female, and that this identity is oriented toward a procreative union meant to populate the earth. Seen through this light, gender and sexuality are substantive pillars in fulfilling what theologians refer to as the cultural mandate.
In another rendering of humanity’s origins, we read in Genesis 2 that it is not good for man to be alone; that a helper was needed. This helper is both similar and dissimilar; similar in her humanity, yet dissimilar in her design. The man and woman—as counterparts—are intended to form a complementary union. In 2:24, it is written that “Then a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” This language is at once both figurative and literal; figurative in that it describes the establishing of a distinct family unit; literal in that it testifies to the bodily union for which male and female anatomy are designed. This sexual pattern is the archetype for the Bible’s expectation for human sexual arrangements.
Several axiomatic truths related to gender and sexuality are found in the Genesis 1–2 narrative.
- God created. A Christian understanding for gender and sexuality begins with a foundational assumption about the universe itself. The Triune God is a God of order, not chaos, and random combination. Christians believe that the Triune God alone brings reality into existence. Reality and human experience are not self-creating or self-constituting. Christians confess that the God who creates the cosmos is the holy, sovereign, and just God who orders all aspects of reality—including sexuality and gender. Gender and sexuality are not evolutionary quirks; both find their origin in the creative will of God.
- God created humanity. A Christian understanding for gender and sexuality also begins with a foundational assumption about human nature. God is the creator of humanity, and as such, has the right to speak authoritatively over our lives. We are his subjects, and sexuality and gender are constitutive aspects of God’s rule over humanity. We are not self-creating or self-constituting. Sexuality and gender, then, are not plastic and endlessly malleable to fit human preference. Rather like the body, Christians believe that gender and sexuality are purposefully ordered to fit God’s will for humanity (1 Cor. 6:13). This means obedience and a commitment to living in line with God’s creative will is where holiness and human flourishing form an intersection.
- God created humanity in His image. Genesis speaks of God making man and woman in His image. Theologians debate all that being made in God’s image entails, but in general, we can say that we image God in our relational dimension, our structural design, and our functional capacity. While exercising caution to not reduce sexuality and gender as the defining marks of bearing God’s image, it is appropriate to assume that they contribute to the entirety of what it means to bear God’s image. Humanity existing in male and female iterations implies that our sexual design and gendered existence are participants in the fundamental nobility and dignity that human beings are said to possess because of being made in God’s image. To be made in God’s image means that no part of our humanity is purposeless or irrelevant to God’s creative intention.
- God created humanity male and female. When God created humanity, He did not make us sexless monads. He made humanity in male and female forms. This means that gender, and gender identity—if such a construct is at all intelligible—is an embodied reality. Male and female self-conception are not constructed from psychology alone. Male and female, according to the biblical portrait, are fixed, bodily realities; meaning they are not interchangeable or eradicable. They are objectively known; such that the identity of who we are as sexed humans is not a mystery. Lastly, male and female imply substantive differentiation. This differentiation is observed down to the chromosomal, anatomical, reproductive, physiological, and emotive levels. This physical difference starkly manifests itself in the anatomical design of male and female, which makes procreation possible and the fulfillment of the cultural mandate actionable.
- God created male and female for one another. God commands sexual activity to be experienced exclusively within the marital relationship of one man and one woman. The sexual distinction in Scripture bears witness to the sexual and procreative union that male and female bodies are capable of engaging in. In Scripture, sexual union ratifies the marriage covenant, signifying the existence of the marriage union intended to be permanent, monogamous, and exclusive (Gen. 2:24; 1 Cor. 6:16). Notice in Genesis 1:26–28 that the creation of man and woman in Genesis both is structural and dynamic. As male and female beings made in God’s image, their design is ordered toward a particular purpose—filling the earth, subduing it, exercising dominion. More specifically, that purpose is accomplished by male and female design—that the act of being fruitful and multiplying hinges on, and springs from, their respective sex distinction. In this account, general revelation parallels with special revelation. As each of us knows, sexual intercourse is capable of producing children, and this reality is exclusive to only one reality, male-female complementarity.
The Bible and Creation’s Manifold Witness of Gender and Sexuality
At least in contemporary debates on these issues, Christians are often tempted to treat our vision for sexuality and gender as ethical matters relevant and pertaining to Christians only. This is not a biblical way to approach such subjects. Such a view is a truncated account for explaining why Christians’s convictions on such matters are not only Christian, but universally applicable. The Bible casts a vision for sexuality and gender that is true on both special and general revelation grounds. As biblical scholar Richard Bauckham writes, “biblical commands are not arbitrary decrees but correspond to the way the world is and will be” (see God and the Crisis of Freedom: Biblical and Contemporary Perspectives, 70). When Christians discuss gender and sexuality, they must understand that the design for gender and sexuality in Scripture is the design that all humans are obligated to live within, even if they do not appear most the natural or easiest in light of sin. What Christians believe about sexuality and gender is not an “in-house” argument for debate among Christians only. The Bible understands gender and sexuality as creational realities that determine whether a society will organize itself in subjection to God’s authority or in rejection to God’s authority.
As ethicist Bernd Wannenwetsch writes, “The Christian doctrine of creation is precisely such a way of explaining why there are aspects of reality that are invested with normative moral significance” (see “Creation and Ethics: On the Legitimacy and Limitation of Appeals to ‘Nature’ in Christian Moral Reasoning,” in Within the Love of God: Essays on the Doctrine of God in Honour of Paul S. Fiddes, 209). This means that the Bible’s teaching on gender and sexuality are not sectarian. These teachings are not built on fideistic decrees or fiat. Instead, the Bible speaks to created reality in both a sinful and redeemed state—because the Lord Jesus reigns over creation and unites both creation and redemption in His gospel (see see Oliver O’Donovan, Resurrection and Moral Order: An Outline for Evangelical Ethics). Gender and sexuality do not require an exclusively Christian epistemology for their authority or intelligibility, but insofar as sin warps human perception, the Bible’s teaching do require explanation in line with the full drama of Christian doctrine. A vision for gender and sexuality that fails to satisfy the demands set forth in Genesis will be subject to endless redefinition, which is why revisionist accounts of gender and sexuality—such as same-sex marriage and gender fluidity—retain no coherent limiting principle.
Sexuality and Gender in Revolt
The five axioms above are the backdrop that explain Scripture’s prohibition on sexual practices and gender displays that transgress God-ordained creational distinctions and creational boundaries. Sin’s impact demonstrates how each of the axioms are assaulted.
- Concerning axiom one, a culture of unbelief either rejects God’s existence or God’s authority. Man’s agency, in this paradigm, is the measure of all that is. Nowhere is this more apparent than in the never-ending redefinition of sexual morality and ensuing gender confusion. Since there are no binding rules, sexuality and gender are a matter of personal will and preference. Sexuality and gender are self-chosen, issuing from the autonomous self. Since humanity is not bound by a code of objective and universal morality, what Christians consider sexually immoral or out of step with God’s intent for gender expression, is shorn of all taboo and prohibition— whether pornography (Ps. 101:3; Matt. 5:28; Col. 3:5) , bestiality (Lev. 18:23, 20:15–16; Exod. 22:19), polygamy (Gen. 2:24), lust (Matt. 5:28; Mark 7:20–23) , adultery (1 Cor. 6:9–11), orgies (Gal. 5:19–21), non-monogamy (Matt. 19:1–10), rape (Deut. 22:23–29; Ezek. 45:9; Mark 12:31), pedophilia (Matt. 18:5–6), homosexuality (Rom. 1:26–27; 1 Cor. 6:9–11), fornication (Gen. 2:24; Deut. 22:28–29; Eph. 5:3; 1 Thess. 4:1–8), incest (Lev 18:8–18; 1 Cor. 5:1–5), prostitution (Hos. 4:14) cross-dressing (Deut. 22:5; 1 Cor. 11:3–16), effeminacy (1 Cor 6:9–10), androgyny (Gen 1:27–28;), illicit seduction (Gen. 34; Prov. 7:6–23), transgenderism (Gen. 1:27–28), and sexual abuse (Deut. 22:25–27; Mark 12:31).
- In axiom two, humanity denies that it is a divine creation born of an intelligent and divine will, or inscribed with any inherent, fixed meaning. Any sexual arrangement is thus allowable insofar as consent is present; and any gender expression is permissible insofar as it comports with a person’s self-perception. Since humanity may or may not be the creation of a divine being, saying that a particular sexual arrangement or gender expression is prohibited is simply a product of social convention.
- With axiom three, humanity divests itself of any particular calling in light of being made in God’s image. Since we are not special creations endowed with a mission to exercise dominion, we subsist by vain expressions of human autonomy and self-seeking justification. Our liberation from God’s constraints becomes our abolition.
- In axiom four, humanity denies that male and female are objective and fixed realities. Instead, gender fluidity and suppression of sexed realities paint a portrait of gender and sexuality that is endlessly malleable and psychologically grounded. This allows such sins as transgenderism.
- In axiom five, the beauty of male-female complementarity is denied, meaning that the creational guardrails for sexuality are nullified. This licenses such sexual sins as homosexuality. It is not that homosexuality is worse than all other sins; but that it narrates through vivid and graphic portrayal an expulsive rejection of God’s authority concerning creational design and boundaries.
In all five axioms, what is at the root of humanity’s assault on God-defined expressions of sexuality and gender? God’s authority over sexual desire and sexual relationships, and God’s design for how gender is conceived and expressed, is cast off. As it is with every issue of ethics and morality, the idea that any objective standard exists and is binding begins and ends with whether God exists and whether He intends to hold individuals accountable for their actions.
Sexuality and Gender in Redemption
While this essay has strived to present an argument for the Bible’s teaching on gender and sexuality that is true on both general and revelation grounds, it would be incomplete if it failed to examine how sexuality and gender are understood within the horizon of the gospel.
- The New Testament reaffirms the vision for gender and sexuality taught in Genesis. The gospel offers the promise of the Holy Spirit’s guidance to live lives of holiness; the gospel does not create a radically new or disjunctive expectation for sexual morality and appropriate gender expression. In Matthew 19, Jesus affirms that the creational pattern for male and female set forth in Genesis 1–2 remains authoritative and binding for humanity. In Acts 15, the earliest church leaders confirmed that obedience to Old Testament law was not expected for Gentle Christians, but Christians were expected to uphold the same standard of Old Testament sexual morality inaugurated at creation. The pattern for sexual relationship and gender expression laid out for the early Christians thus validates the pattern begun in Genesis. Furthermore, New Testament prohibitions on sexual practices (e.g., homosexuality, incest) are echoes of the Old Testament’s sexual ethic. This ethic is grounded in God’s moral law and cannot be discarded or excused as pertaining only to Israel. The New Testament makes clear that sexual rebellion and rejection of appropriate gender boundaries renders culpable before God’s judgement (1 Cor. 6:9–11).
- The gospel brings fulfilling clarity to the vision for gender and sexuality taught in Genesis. The storyline and arc of the Bible’s teaching on gender and sexuality is one that relies upon narrative climax. In Ephesians 5:22–23, Paul explains that the union of husband and wife is meant to foreshadow the most visceral union in the cosmos—the Christ-Church union. Nowhere is the explanation of the Christ-Church union meant to overwhelm, supplant, or eradicate the underlying validity of male-female complementarity set forth in Genesis. The story of the gospel’s relationship to created nature—which includes our sexuality and gender—is that created nature would be led in the direction it was always intended (see Wannenwetsch, “Creation and Ethics,” 210). Though sexuality and gender remain creationally intelligible despite the fall, as Christians, we believe that both are ultimately designed to reflect the union of Christ and the church.
- The gospel empowers Christians to live in accord with the biblical vision for gender and sexuality taught in Genesis. The gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ calls us to glorify God with our bodies because they were purchased by Him (1 Cor. 6:20). This purchase comprises the whole man (2 Cor. 5:17). We are called to honor the Lord Jesus and to submit to Him our sexual desires as well as our conduct (Matt. 5:28; Gal. 5:19–21; Eph. 4:22–24; Col. 3:5; 1 Thess. 4:1–8). We are to flee all forms of sexual morality (1 Cor. 6:18; Eph. 5:3–5; 1 Thess. 4:1–8). We embrace appropriate gender norms so as not to scandalize or give offense with impropriety of gender expression (Deut. 22:5; 1 Cor. 6:9; 11:3–16; 1 Tim. 2:9). Christians believe that we are not our own, and that we owe every facet of our existence—our gender expression and our sexuality—to Jesus Christ (Col. 1:15–20).
FURTHER READING
- Andreas Köstenberger, God, Marriage, and Family: Rebuilding the Biblical Foundation
- Andrew T. Walker, God and the Transgender Debate. See this author interview.
- Andrew T. Walker and Eric Teetsel, Marriage Is: How Marriage Transforms Society and Cultivates Human Flourishing
- Andrew T. Walker, “On Creation, Revelation, and the Meaning of Male and Female”
- Christopher C. Roberts, Creation & Covenant: The Significance of Sexual Difference in the Moral Theology of Marriage
- Daniel Heimbach, True Sexual Morality: Recovering Biblical Standards for a Culture in Crisis
- Dennis Hollinger, The Meaning of Sex: Christian Ethics and the Moral Life
- Denny Burk, What is the Meaning of Sex?
- John Piper and Wayne Grudem, Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood: A Response to Evangelical Feminism
- Ryan T. Anderson, When Harry Became Sally: Responding to the Transgender Moment
- Sherif Girgis, Ryan T. Anderson, and Robert P. George, What is Marriage? Man and Woman: A Defense
- Stanley Grenz, Sexual Ethics: An Evangelical Perspective
- The Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, The Nashville Statement,
- Todd Wilson, Mere Sexuality: Rediscovering the Christian Vision of Sexuality
Sexual Freedom = Happiness?
Gen Z (also known as iGen), are currently between the ages of 6 and 24 years old. These youth have been influenced by society to view sex, sexuality, and now even gender identity, as critical aspects of their personal “happiness.”
There are so many directions we could take in this post, but let’s ask a single question, “Does sexual freedom actually make us happy?”
If sexual exploration and experimentation are so “affirming,” why does Gen Z admit it feels incredibly lonely, lost, depressed, and stressed out? Wait, sex isn’t making life better?
A study from 2000 found that teens viewed 143 incidents of sexual behavior on network television during prime time viewing hours each week — with little of it morally affirming. How, after 20 years of this messaging, might we demonstrate that we have “come a long way”? Perhaps this popular Google search term — “Become Sexually Irresistible” — could be one measure.
If sexual freedom, as society suggests, is the yellow brick road to empowerment and good vibes, shouldn’t we find Gen Z creating their best lives as they curiously explore?
Sexual Freedom = Bondage?
Research statistics confirm that, for many, sexual curiosity and engagement has led to significant pain and bondage:
>> Studies show that one in seven teens are actively sexting, sharing sexual content and photos via texts, social platforms, secret chat rooms, and live-streaming websites. Many then experience the nightmare of being controlled, bullied, and sexually trafficked from “sextortion.” When our teens (and even pre-teens) believe they need to sexualize their bodies, it should “wake” us to the fact that they’re desperately seeking validation where society has placed value.
>> Society champions the porn industry, asserting that viewing porn is “normal, harmless, and fun.” For many, it’s the start of a spiraling addiction. 64 percent of young people between 13-24 admit they regularly view porn, and many find they can’t stop. Many also admit the addiction makes it impossible for them to interact in real relationships in healthy patterns. Healthy relationships are a necessity for a healthy society.
>> Per the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), 20 million new cases of sexually transmitted diseases infect Americans each year, with half of the infected between 15 and 24 years old. In one U.S. survey, 24 percent of teenage girls tested were found to have an STI. Sexual infection rates across the U.S. indicates the upward trend isn’t slowing down. As half of the eight most common sexually transmitted diseases aren’t curable with available drugs, infections are easily shared with each new sexual partner. Will every sexually active person become infected?
Gen Z has been raised in a world that promotes sexual “empowerment.” Many find the promised “liberation” actually comes with chains.
Rethinking Sex
There are many good reasons that God asks us to live to His standards. Though Gen Z might assert that being asked to curb their sexual exploration and experimentation limits their personal choice and freedom, we can help Gen Z to:
Compare media messaging about sex with how it’s playing out in real life among their peers.
Get clear on the personal safety and control they give up when they sext and participate in sexual activity. This downloadable Sexting Handbook link by The Common Sense Media is a helpful resource.
Embrace what God says about their bodies, including their worth having nothing to do with their sex appeal.
Do you know a young person who could benefit from your loving wisdom and God’s ceaseless love?
Let’s help to connect our Gen Z friends with churches and groups that will guide them in building empowering lives they will fully enjoy. Our own Resolution Movement, as well as these organizations, focus on helping youth to break the chains of unhealthy sexual habits, addiction, and shame. Let’s help Gen Z to live in the freedom God wants them to enjoy!
One’s sexuality is an important part of life, for sure. But sex was meant to be sacred. When it’s not, it leads to bondage. There’s no liberation in that.
www.josh.org.
Week Four of “Substitute Identities.” God’s purposes for us are to have our identity rooted in his calling for us to be saints and to trust our sexual lives to him. Preached with Angel Beeson, John’s wife.
www.newlifefellowship.com.
I shared the following notes with a pastor friend who was preparing a message addressing sexual immorality and gender confusion. It’s a different approach, a verse by verse brief commentary on a passage. (I started with the last part of Ephesians 4 because it’s the foundation for Ephesians 5.)
These are tough issues, and they’re not going away. Now more than ever, Christians must consider how we can communicate with those with whom we disagree. The more we speak to these issues with grace and truth, not just one or the other, the better we represent Jesus and the gospel.
By the way, my friend preached a great message that truly was full of both grace and truth. His pastor’s heart was expressed clearly and many hurting people came to him in tears afterwards. Confused, disoriented, and deceived people are not our enemy—Satan and demons are our enemies.
I hope these reflections are helpful:
Ephesians 4
17 Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds.
God warns us against not just wrong behavior, but also against the wrong thinking that’s behind it—including the notion that sexual identity is disconnected from the body, as created by God and demonstrated by our sex organs, chromosomes, and DNA. It is a modern futility of the mind that sexual identity is a matter of personal preference as influenced by our life experiences.
18 They are darkened in their understanding,
All cultures historically recognized that boys are boys and girls are girls, but our culture is flying in the face of science by determining that sexual identity isn’t about the body with its parts and chromosomes and DNA, but is about our thinking and feeling, which are easily influenced by the Fall, and by personal experience, the stories of others, and propaganda, including teaching in school classrooms.
alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them
While we pride ourselves on our degree of knowledge, making ourselves feel superior to cultures of the past, much of what we now “know” about gender is steeped in ignorance of scientific and historically affirmed realities. (C. S. Lewis called this “chronological snobbery”—the belief that modern opinions are always automatically better than ancient ones.)
due to their hardness of heart.
Our problem isn’t just mental or cultural but spiritual. The world, the flesh/sin nature, and the devil are all working against us so that we keep getting it wrong about important matters of human nature and sexual identity, resulting in the corruption of our culture, parallel to the moral downward spiral of the once great Roman empire.
19 They have become callous
We have violated our consciences so long by entertaining wrong notions about human sexuality that our hearts are hardened, and we are now believing falsehoods that are lies of the evil one, designed to harm people who Satan hates because we are God’s image-bearers. (This is another example of how the evil one has a special hatred of children, and in this case, targets them with gender confusion. He wants to kill them, and he lies to facilitate and cover his attempts to destroy them.)
and have given themselves up to sensuality
Giving up means surrender. It’s putting ourselves under the lordship of a false god rather than the one true God, who tells us the truth about gender and sex. It’s letting the world, the flesh, and the devil take over our minds and our lives, rather than letting God transform us through the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:1-2) by meditating on Scripture, which is the source of truth and contradicts the lies about gender and sex.
greedy to practice every kind of impurity
When we unselectively feed our minds with whatever’s on Netflix, Amazon Prime, Hulu, or network television, it will twist and undermine a Christian worldview and will inevitably lead to immoral thinking and living. (This is one reason I recommend VidAngel to screen out sex acts, profanity, and blasphemy.)
20 But that is not the way you learned Christ!— 21 assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus
The truth is not in what the world serves up to us about sex and gender. Rather, the truth is in Jesus, as revealed in God’s Word.
22 to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires,
We do not naturally believe what is true—our opinions are deeply skewed and our natural desires are deceitful because of the Fall. We are inclined to follow them even though they are lying to us. They are Satan’s manipulative efforts to derail us and our children from following Jesus and enjoying a healthy sexual identity and lifestyle.
23 and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds,
The battle is won or lost in the mind; that’s why the current efforts in public schools and society to negate Christian morality and to undermine God’s teaching about avoiding sexual immorality and our identity are so dangerous.
24 and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.
Just as we put on one set of clothes instead of another, we must take off the wrong clothes of our sinful identity and choose to put on the right ones, those true to who we are in Jesus. “Putting on” requires effort and discipline. We must affirm not the fallen creation that tempts us, but the new creation in Christ that grants us righteousness and holy standing before God—this is the power source for thinking righteously about sex and gender, and living righteously. Actions flow from thoughts. Satan seeks to poison our minds so our actions will displease God, and therefore destroy ourselves and our families.
25 Therefore, having put away falsehood
We must first discern what is false (for example, what our culture is saying about gender and sex and abortion, etc.), and then we must affirm what is true, what God’s Word tells us. Finally, we must live by what is true, which is not only good but also smart and always in our best interests.
let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor
We owe each other the truth, and we must boldly speak it—all the more because lies are undermining the worldviews of unbelievers and many believers. There are churches, families, and individual believers being undercut in their walk with Jesus because we are not studying and loving the truth and sharing it with each other.
for we are members one of another. 26Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and give no opportunity to the devil.
The devil is an opportunist. He is eagerly waiting for you to give him a chance to take control of your life, destroy you, and ruin your relationship with Jesus. “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8). If he’s looking for you, you’d better look out for him! He goes after Christians who settle for the world instead of Jesus, and who isolate themselves from the flock where there is some safety in numbers.
The people you choose to hang with and the places you choose to go (including over TV and internet) will determine your spiritual future. Sexual identity and sexual behavior are two of Satan’s favorite targets. Every time your eyes and mind go toward what displeases God and pleases the devil, you are casting your vote for Satan. Be quick to stop, repent, and step away from sin—give no opportunity to the devil (Ephesians 4:27)!
28 Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. 29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths
This includes sexual jokes and innuendo, and also telling children that gender is a choice instead of a gift from their Creator, and that their body should be denied or changed to conform to what they are presently feeling. This is corrupting talk, and God detests it.
but only such as is good for building up,
We affirm God’s plan and His directives not to tear people down but to build them up. Satan pretends to build people up while sabotaging their lives.
as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
What builds people up is not always what they want to hear, but what they need to hear. We are not just here to make ourselves and each other feel good but to help each other be good. Grace is always vital, as is truth—Jesus came full of grace and truth (John 1:14), and so should we. We should never heap guilt on someone experiencing gender confusion; instead we should listen and care lovingly and genuinely for them, and recognize we too are confused about aspects of our life and identity. All of us need to look to the God, who created us as He did for a glorious reason.
30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God
He is the one we should desire to please, and when we sin we hurt Him.
by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.
If we address our culture’s gender confusion and sexual values from a posture of animosity, we will confirm their perception that we are haters, and we will lose the opportunity to have meaningful relationships from which we can speak into their lives. As we approach our brothers and sisters in Christ who are genuinely struggling with who they are and what their culture is telling them is normal, we need to be sure our hearts and words to them are wrath-free, anger-free, clamor-free, slander-free, and malice-free. We are to put away such things, and only Jesus has the power to do that life-changing work in us. But we do need to desire to change and to repeatedly ask His empowerment to do so.
32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
We are not to encourage sin in each other, but we are to be sympathetic to each other’s struggles, including struggles of sexual identity, which can be terribly difficult. But the answer is never to give in to the struggle, but INSTEAD to call upon God for His grace and empowerment. Even if our desires don’t change, we can say “no” to them, just as we are called upon to say no to other temptations. If this means never engaging in sex and remaining single all our lives, that is not the worst-case scenario. It is, in fact, exactly what the most fulfilled person who ever lived did—Jesus. And He had dear friends and family just as we can.
Ephesians 5
Therefore be imitators of God,
We’re not to be imitators of our culture or its idols.
as beloved children. 2 And walk in love
When you take a stand for God’s created gender design and for sexual morality, be sure you speak with genuine love, not as a self-righteous moralist Pharisee who loves to condemn others.
as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
Christ is the model of how we are to address gender and sex issues, so that when people call us haters, others can see and say, “No, they disagree, but I think they love me and want the best for me.”
3 But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. 4 Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.
The answer to filthiness, foolish talk, and crude joking isn’t just cleaning up your act, but giving thanks to God. When we give Him thanks in all things, it pulls us toward Him, and it pushes away what dishonors Him.
5 For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.
Let’s not ignore or quickly explain away this verse, as in, “Of course, this doesn’t mean sexually immoral and greedy people aren’t saved.” Clearly God is saying something vital here, that should shake us to our core if we are leading lives of immorality and materialism. Notice how God links sexual immorality with greed and materialism—some Christians are quick to condemn immorality when in reality, the immorality of greed permeates their lives. Everyone knows church leaders shouldn’t be sexually immoral. Why do we fail to realize they also shouldn’t be greedy and materialistic?
6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience.
We should repent of sexual immorality not only because it is wrong but also because it is stupid. Unless we forsake it, it will destroy us.
7 Therefore do not become partners with them;
To tolerate or laugh at sexually immoral jokes is to mock God, and to remain silent is to endorse them.
8 for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light
Our job is to recognize who God has made us to be in Christ, and live according to that reality, not according to sin, the world, the flesh, and the devil. We need our Lord and each other to do this.
9 (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true),10 and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord.
We need to stop trying to please people and echoing back what our culture is telling us. God is the Audience of One—Paul says, “If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Jesus” (Galatians 1:10). We’re to live according to what God has told us in His Word.
11 Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.
It’s critical to refuse to do the works of darkness, and quickly confess and repent when we do. But it’s not enough to abstain from them. We should also expose them, which means having the courage and the love for others to call them out for what they are. Do not compromise, even if speaking out about our culture’s denial of truth and goodness costs you friendships or your job.
12 For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret.
We shouldn’t be unnecessarily graphic so as to tempt, though it is sometimes necessary to clearly show the evil of something God commands us to expose.
13 But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, 14 for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says, “Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead…
The death we are to arise from is rebellion against our Creator and Savior. Colossians 3:1 says, “Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.”
The rising in Christ is what He has both accomplished (already) and promised us (“not yet”).
…and Christ will shine on you.”
It all comes back to Jesus. We need to wake up to what’s happening, and speak the truth in love to a lost and increasingly confused, disoriented, and deceived generation. To shine with His light, we must first allow Him daily to shine His light upon us. We are to live the loving life of people risen in Jesus and covered with His righteousness. It’s all about Jesus. He must increase, we must decrease (John 3:30). And when we do this, we will be the happiest of all people, because He made us not for sexual confusion and immorality, but for His glory and our good.
He is the Audience of One. We must stop trying to “fit in” to our culture, and instead “be blameless and pure, children of God who are faultless in a crooked and perverted generation, among whom you shine like stars in the world” (Philippians 2:15).
www.epm.org.
Sexual Freedom = Happiness?
Gen Z (also known as iGen), are currently between the ages of 6 and 24 years old. These youth have been influenced by society to view sex, sexuality, and now even gender identity, as critical aspects of their personal “happiness.”
There are so many directions we could take in this post, but let’s ask a single question, “Does sexual freedom actually make us happy?”
If sexual exploration and experimentation are so “affirming,” why does Gen Z admit it feels incredibly lonely, lost, depressed, and stressed out? Wait, sex isn’t making life better?
A study from 2000 found that teens viewed 143 incidents of sexual behavior on network television during prime time viewing hours each week — with little of it morally affirming. How, after 20 years of this messaging, might we demonstrate that we have “come a long way”? Perhaps this popular Google search term — “Become Sexually Irresistible” — could be one measure.
If sexual freedom, as society suggests, is the yellow brick road to empowerment and good vibes, shouldn’t we find Gen Z creating their best lives as they curiously explore?
Sexual Freedom = Bondage?
Research statistics confirm that, for many, sexual curiosity and engagement has led to significant pain and bondage:
>> Studies show that one in seven teens are actively sexting, sharing sexual content and photos via texts, social platforms, secret chat rooms, and live-streaming websites. Many then experience the nightmare of being controlled, bullied, and sexually trafficked from “sextortion.” When our teens (and even pre-teens) believe they need to sexualize their bodies, it should “wake” us to the fact that they’re desperately seeking validation where society has placed value.
>> Society champions the porn industry, asserting that viewing porn is “normal, harmless, and fun.” For many, it’s the start of a spiraling addiction. 64 percent of young people between 13-24 admit they regularly view porn, and many find they can’t stop. Many also admit the addiction makes it impossible for them to interact in real relationships in healthy patterns. Healthy relationships are a necessity for a healthy society.
>> Per the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), 20 million new cases of sexually transmitted diseases infect Americans each year, with half of the infected between 15 and 24 years old. In one U.S. survey, 24 percent of teenage girls tested were found to have an STI. Sexual infection rates across the U.S. indicates the upward trend isn’t slowing down. As half of the eight most common sexually transmitted diseases aren’t curable with available drugs, infections are easily shared with each new sexual partner. Will every sexually active person become infected?
Gen Z has been raised in a world that promotes sexual “empowerment.” Many find the promised “liberation” actually comes with chains.
Rethinking Sex
There are many good reasons that God asks us to live to His standards. Though Gen Z might assert that being asked to curb their sexual exploration and experimentation limits their personal choice and freedom, we can help Gen Z to:
Compare media messaging about sex with how it’s playing out in real life among their peers.
Get clear on the personal safety and control they give up when they sext and participate in sexual activity. This downloadable Sexting Handbook link by The Common Sense Media is a helpful resource.
Embrace what God says about their bodies, including their worth having nothing to do with their sex appeal.
Do you know a young person who could benefit from your loving wisdom and God’s ceaseless love?
Let’s help to connect these youth with churches and groups that will guide them in building empowering lives they will fully enjoy. Our own Resolution Movement, as well as these organizations, focus on helping youth to break the chains of unhealthy sexual habits, addiction, and shame. Let’s help Gen Z to live in the freedom God wants them to enjoy!
One’s sexuality is an important part of life, for sure. But sex was meant to be sacred. When it’s not, it leads to bondage. There’s no liberation in that.
I shared the following notes with a pastor friend who was preparing a message addressing sexual immorality and gender confusion. It’s a different approach, a verse by verse brief commentary on a passage. (I started with the last part of Ephesians 4 because it’s the foundation for Ephesians 5.)
These are tough issues, and they’re not going away. Now more than ever, Christians must consider how we can communicate with those with whom we disagree. The more we speak to these issues with grace and truth, not just one or the other, the better we represent Jesus and the gospel.
By the way, my friend preached a great message that truly was full of both grace and truth. His pastor’s heart was expressed clearly and many hurting people came to him in tears afterwards. Confused, disoriented, and deceived people are not our enemy—Satan and demons are our enemies.
I hope these reflections are helpful:
Ephesians 4
17 Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds.
God warns us against not just wrong behavior, but also against the wrong thinking that’s behind it—including the notion that sexual identity is disconnected from the body, as created by God and demonstrated by our sex organs, chromosomes, and DNA. It is a modern futility of the mind that sexual identity is a matter of personal preference as influenced by our life experiences.
18 They are darkened in their understanding,
All cultures historically recognized that boys are boys and girls are girls, but our culture is flying in the face of science by determining that sexual identity isn’t about the body with its parts and chromosomes and DNA, but is about our thinking and feeling, which are easily influenced by the Fall, and by personal experience, the stories of others, and propaganda, including teaching in school classrooms.
alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them
While we pride ourselves on our degree of knowledge, making ourselves feel superior to cultures of the past, much of what we now “know” about gender is steeped in ignorance of scientific and historically affirmed realities. (C. S. Lewis called this “chronological snobbery”—the belief that modern opinions are always automatically better than ancient ones.)
due to their hardness of heart.
Our problem isn’t just mental or cultural but spiritual. The world, the flesh/sin nature, and the devil are all working against us so that we keep getting it wrong about important matters of human nature and sexual identity, resulting in the corruption of our culture, parallel to the moral downward spiral of the once great Roman empire.
19 They have become callous
We have violated our consciences so long by entertaining wrong notions about human sexuality that our hearts are hardened, and we are now believing falsehoods that are lies of the evil one, designed to harm people who Satan hates because we are God’s image-bearers. (This is another example of how the evil one has a special hatred of children, and in this case, targets them with gender confusion. He wants to kill them, and he lies to facilitate and cover his attempts to destroy them.)
and have given themselves up to sensuality
Giving up means surrender. It’s putting ourselves under the lordship of a false god rather than the one true God, who tells us the truth about gender and sex. It’s letting the world, the flesh, and the devil take over our minds and our lives, rather than letting God transform us through the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:1-2) by meditating on Scripture, which is the source of truth and contradicts the lies about gender and sex.
greedy to practice every kind of impurity
When we unselectively feed our minds with whatever’s on Netflix, Amazon Prime, Hulu, or network television, it will twist and undermine a Christian worldview and will inevitably lead to immoral thinking and living. (This is one reason I recommend VidAngel to screen out sex acts, profanity, and blasphemy.)
20 But that is not the way you learned Christ!— 21 assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus
The truth is not in what the world serves up to us about sex and gender. Rather, the truth is in Jesus, as revealed in God’s Word.
22 to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires,
We do not naturally believe what is true—our opinions are deeply skewed and our natural desires are deceitful because of the Fall. We are inclined to follow them even though they are lying to us. They are Satan’s manipulative efforts to derail us and our children from following Jesus and enjoying a healthy sexual identity and lifestyle.
23 and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds,
The battle is won or lost in the mind; that’s why the current efforts in public schools and society to negate Christian morality and to undermine God’s teaching about avoiding sexual immorality and our identity are so dangerous.
24 and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.
Just as we put on one set of clothes instead of another, we must take off the wrong clothes of our sinful identity and choose to put on the right ones, those true to who we are in Jesus. “Putting on” requires effort and discipline. We must affirm not the fallen creation that tempts us, but the new creation in Christ that grants us righteousness and holy standing before God—this is the power source for thinking righteously about sex and gender, and living righteously. Actions flow from thoughts. Satan seeks to poison our minds so our actions will displease God, and therefore destroy ourselves and our families.
25 Therefore, having put away falsehood
We must first discern what is false (for example, what our culture is saying about gender and sex and abortion, etc.), and then we must affirm what is true, what God’s Word tells us. Finally, we must live by what is true, which is not only good but also smart and always in our best interests.
let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor
We owe each other the truth, and we must boldly speak it—all the more because lies are undermining the worldviews of unbelievers and many believers. There are churches, families, and individual believers being undercut in their walk with Jesus because we are not studying and loving the truth and sharing it with each other.
for we are members one of another. 26Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and give no opportunity to the devil.
The devil is an opportunist. He is eagerly waiting for you to give him a chance to take control of your life, destroy you, and ruin your relationship with Jesus. “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8). If he’s looking for you, you’d better look out for him! He goes after Christians who settle for the world instead of Jesus, and who isolate themselves from the flock where there is some safety in numbers.
The people you choose to hang with and the places you choose to go (including over TV and internet) will determine your spiritual future. Sexual identity and sexual behavior are two of Satan’s favorite targets. Every time your eyes and mind go toward what displeases God and pleases the devil, you are casting your vote for Satan. Be quick to stop, repent, and step away from sin—give no opportunity to the devil (Ephesians 4:27)!
28 Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. 29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths
This includes sexual jokes and innuendo, and also telling children that gender is a choice instead of a gift from their Creator, and that their body should be denied or changed to conform to what they are presently feeling. This is corrupting talk, and God detests it.
but only such as is good for building up,
We affirm God’s plan and His directives not to tear people down but to build them up. Satan pretends to build people up while sabotaging their lives.
as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
What builds people up is not always what they want to hear, but what they need to hear. We are not just here to make ourselves and each other feel good but to help each other be good. Grace is always vital, as is truth—Jesus came full of grace and truth (John 1:14), and so should we. We should never heap guilt on someone experiencing gender confusion; instead we should listen and care lovingly and genuinely for them, and recognize we too are confused about aspects of our life and identity. All of us need to look to the God, who created us as He did for a glorious reason.
30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God
He is the one we should desire to please, and when we sin we hurt Him.
by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.
If we address our culture’s gender confusion and sexual values from a posture of animosity, we will confirm their perception that we are haters, and we will lose the opportunity to have meaningful relationships from which we can speak into their lives. As we approach our brothers and sisters in Christ who are genuinely struggling with who they are and what their culture is telling them is normal, we need to be sure our hearts and words to them are wrath-free, anger-free, clamor-free, slander-free, and malice-free. We are to put away such things, and only Jesus has the power to do that life-changing work in us. But we do need to desire to change and to repeatedly ask His empowerment to do so.
32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
We are not to encourage sin in each other, but we are to be sympathetic to each other’s struggles, including struggles of sexual identity, which can be terribly difficult. But the answer is never to give in to the struggle, but INSTEAD to call upon God for His grace and empowerment. Even if our desires don’t change, we can say “no” to them, just as we are called upon to say no to other temptations. If this means never engaging in sex and remaining single all our lives, that is not the worst-case scenario. It is, in fact, exactly what the most fulfilled person who ever lived did—Jesus. And He had dear friends and family just as we can.
Ephesians 5
Therefore be imitators of God,
We’re not to be imitators of our culture or its idols.
as beloved children. 2 And walk in love
When you take a stand for God’s created gender design and for sexual morality, be sure you speak with genuine love, not as a self-righteous moralist Pharisee who loves to condemn others.
as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
Christ is the model of how we are to address gender and sex issues, so that when people call us haters, others can see and say, “No, they disagree, but I think they love me and want the best for me.”
3 But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. 4 Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.
The answer to filthiness, foolish talk, and crude joking isn’t just cleaning up your act, but giving thanks to God. When we give Him thanks in all things, it pulls us toward Him, and it pushes away what dishonors Him.
5 For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.
Let’s not ignore or quickly explain away this verse, as in, “Of course, this doesn’t mean sexually immoral and greedy people aren’t saved.” Clearly God is saying something vital here, that should shake us to our core if we are leading lives of immorality and materialism. Notice how God links sexual immorality with greed and materialism—some Christians are quick to condemn immorality when in reality, the immorality of greed permeates their lives. Everyone knows church leaders shouldn’t be sexually immoral. Why do we fail to realize they also shouldn’t be greedy and materialistic?
6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience.
We should repent of sexual immorality not only because it is wrong but also because it is stupid. Unless we forsake it, it will destroy us.
7 Therefore do not become partners with them;
To tolerate or laugh at sexually immoral jokes is to mock God, and to remain silent is to endorse them.
8 for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light
Our job is to recognize who God has made us to be in Christ, and live according to that reality, not according to sin, the world, the flesh, and the devil. We need our Lord and each other to do this.
9 (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true),10 and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord.
We need to stop trying to please people and echoing back what our culture is telling us. God is the Audience of One—Paul says, “If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Jesus” (Galatians 1:10). We’re to live according to what God has told us in His Word.
11 Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.
It’s critical to refuse to do the works of darkness, and quickly confess and repent when we do. But it’s not enough to abstain from them. We should also expose them, which means having the courage and the love for others to call them out for what they are. Do not compromise, even if speaking out about our culture’s denial of truth and goodness costs you friendships or your job.
12 For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret.
We shouldn’t be unnecessarily graphic so as to tempt, though it is sometimes necessary to clearly show the evil of something God commands us to expose.
13 But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, 14 for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says, “Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead…
The death we are to arise from is rebellion against our Creator and Savior. Colossians 3:1 says, “Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.”
The rising in Christ is what He has both accomplished (already) and promised us (“not yet”).
…and Christ will shine on you.”
It all comes back to Jesus. We need to wake up to what’s happening, and speak the truth in love to a lost and increasingly confused, disoriented, and deceived generation. To shine with His light, we must first allow Him daily to shine His light upon us. We are to live the loving life of people risen in Jesus and covered with His righteousness. It’s all about Jesus. He must increase, we must decrease (John 3:30). And when we do this, we will be the happiest of all people, because He made us not for sexual confusion and immorality, but for His glory and our good.
He is the Audience of One. We must stop trying to “fit in” to our culture, and instead “be blameless and pure, children of God who are faultless in a crooked and perverted generation, among whom you shine like stars in the world” (Philippians 2:15).
DEFINITION
Sexuality refers to God’s anthropological design and pattern for the procreative relationship between male and female and to the experience of erotic desire within that design. Gender refers to biological differences in male and female embodiment and the different cultural ways in which the creational distinctions between male and female are manifested.
SUMMARY
Sexuality refers to God’s anthropological design and pattern for the procreative relationship between male and female and to the experience of erotic desire within that design. Gender refers to biological differences in male and female embodiment and the different cultural ways in which the creational distinctions between male and female are manifested. The creational narrative of Genesis 1–2 provides the Christian with the foundational truths behind these distinctions: God created humanity, male and female, in his image for one another. To deny any part of this teaching is to subject God’s purposeful design to the desires of humanity. While much of modern culture desires to deny these distinctions and to untether gender from sexuality, the New Testament reaffirms the Old Testament’s teaching on this topic and brings the male-female distinction to its culmination in the Christ-Church relationship.
A Christian framework for gender and sexuality begins with understanding that each find their origin, structure, and purpose within God’s will for creation. Gender and sexuality, from a Christian perspective, are enchanted realities imbued with divine meaning and purpose. But as the drama of Scripture unfolds, gender and sexuality become impacted by sin. Yet, in light of redemption, the original design and purpose of gender and sexuality are reaffirmed and heightened as the New Testament explains their ultimate telos—to reflect the Christ-Church union. The assumption that gender and sexuality are ordered by God, and for God, stands in stark contrast to modernity’s view that divinizes gender and sexuality, understanding both to be ordered to, and determined by, consent and human will alone.
Sexuality and Gender in God’s Design
When speaking of sexuality and gender, what is meant by these terms?
Sexuality can have broad and narrow meanings. In a broad rendering, sexuality refers to God’s anthropological design and pattern for the procreative relationship between male and female. In a narrower scope, sexuality refers to the experience of erotic desire. Accordingly, in Scripture, sexuality is a constitutive part of human nature and human experience shaped by God’s will for creation; it is not the singular defining aspect of human identity itself.
Gender can also have broad and narrow connotations. More broadly, gender refers to biological differences in male and female embodiment. Narrowly speaking, gender refers to the creational distinctions between male and female manifested in culture (e.g., baby girls adorned in pink; baby boys adorned in blue). Gender should be understood as the cultural reality resulting from God making men and women biologically sexed and distinct. Christians need to understand that as partakers of God’s good creation, we are to acknowledge and participate in culturally-appropriate gender distinctions. This is because each culture discovers culturally-defined ways to reflect the biological and created difference of men and women. This means Christians should abide by the gender norms set by their culture insofar as what the culture dictates does not transgress God’s moral law for upholding the sex distinction between male and female (Deut. 22:5; 1 Cor. 11:3–16). For example, cross-dressing is sinful because it violates the creational boundaries between male and female that come to be expressed in culturally-appropriate gender norms. We ought to care about the gender distinctions our culture holds up since gender distinctions are a common grace mechanism for acknowledging the innate differences of males from females.
Sexuality and gender are first made known in the creational accounts of Scripture. In Genesis 1:26–28, we read of God creating man and woman in His image. Equal in their dignity, but different in their design and calling, the man and woman are then commissioned to “be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion.” Genesis 1 communicates both the identity of male and female, and that this identity is oriented toward a procreative union meant to populate the earth. Seen through this light, gender and sexuality are substantive pillars in fulfilling what theologians refer to as the cultural mandate.
In another rendering of humanity’s origins, we read in Genesis 2 that it is not good for man to be alone; that a helper was needed. This helper is both similar and dissimilar; similar in her humanity, yet dissimilar in her design. The man and woman—as counterparts—are intended to form a complementary union. In 2:24, it is written that “Then a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” This language is at once both figurative and literal; figurative in that it describes the establishing of a distinct family unit; literal in that it testifies to the bodily union for which male and female anatomy are designed. This sexual pattern is the archetype for the Bible’s expectation for human sexual arrangements.
Several axiomatic truths related to gender and sexuality are found in the Genesis 1–2 narrative.
- God created. A Christian understanding for gender and sexuality begins with a foundational assumption about the universe itself. The Triune God is a God of order, not chaos, and random combination. Christians believe that the Triune God alone brings reality into existence. Reality and human experience are not self-creating or self-constituting. Christians confess that the God who creates the cosmos is the holy, sovereign, and just God who orders all aspects of reality—including sexuality and gender. Gender and sexuality are not evolutionary quirks; both find their origin in the creative will of God.
- God created humanity. A Christian understanding for gender and sexuality also begins with a foundational assumption about human nature. God is the creator of humanity, and as such, has the right to speak authoritatively over our lives. We are his subjects, and sexuality and gender are constitutive aspects of God’s rule over humanity. We are not self-creating or self-constituting. Sexuality and gender, then, are not plastic and endlessly malleable to fit human preference. Rather like the body, Christians believe that gender and sexuality are purposefully ordered to fit God’s will for humanity (1 Cor. 6:13). This means obedience and a commitment to living in line with God’s creative will is where holiness and human flourishing form an intersection.
- God created humanity in His image. Genesis speaks of God making man and woman in His image. Theologians debate all that being made in God’s image entails, but in general, we can say that we image God in our relational dimension, our structural design, and our functional capacity. While exercising caution to not reduce sexuality and gender as the defining marks of bearing God’s image, it is appropriate to assume that they contribute to the entirety of what it means to bear God’s image. Humanity existing in male and female iterations implies that our sexual design and gendered existence are participants in the fundamental nobility and dignity that human beings are said to possess because of being made in God’s image. To be made in God’s image means that no part of our humanity is purposeless or irrelevant to God’s creative intention.
- God created humanity male and female. When God created humanity, He did not make us sexless monads. He made humanity in male and female forms. This means that gender, and gender identity—if such a construct is at all intelligible—is an embodied reality. Male and female self-conception are not constructed from psychology alone. Male and female, according to the biblical portrait, are fixed, bodily realities; meaning they are not interchangeable or eradicable. They are objectively known; such that the identity of who we are as sexed humans is not a mystery. Lastly, male and female imply substantive differentiation. This differentiation is observed down to the chromosomal, anatomical, reproductive, physiological, and emotive levels. This physical difference starkly manifests itself in the anatomical design of male and female, which makes procreation possible and the fulfillment of the cultural mandate actionable.
- God created male and female for one another. God commands sexual activity to be experienced exclusively within the marital relationship of one man and one woman. The sexual distinction in Scripture bears witness to the sexual and procreative union that male and female bodies are capable of engaging in. In Scripture, sexual union ratifies the marriage covenant, signifying the existence of the marriage union intended to be permanent, monogamous, and exclusive (Gen. 2:24; 1 Cor. 6:16). Notice in Genesis 1:26–28 that the creation of man and woman in Genesis both is structural and dynamic. As male and female beings made in God’s image, their design is ordered toward a particular purpose—filling the earth, subduing it, exercising dominion. More specifically, that purpose is accomplished by male and female design—that the act of being fruitful and multiplying hinges on, and springs from, their respective sex distinction. In this account, general revelation parallels with special revelation. As each of us knows, sexual intercourse is capable of producing children, and this reality is exclusive to only one reality, male-female complementarity.
The Bible and Creation’s Manifold Witness of Gender and Sexuality
At least in contemporary debates on these issues, Christians are often tempted to treat our vision for sexuality and gender as ethical matters relevant and pertaining to Christians only. This is not a biblical way to approach such subjects. Such a view is a truncated account for explaining why Christians’s convictions on such matters are not only Christian, but universally applicable. The Bible casts a vision for sexuality and gender that is true on both special and general revelation grounds. As biblical scholar Richard Bauckham writes, “biblical commands are not arbitrary decrees but correspond to the way the world is and will be” (see God and the Crisis of Freedom: Biblical and Contemporary Perspectives, 70). When Christians discuss gender and sexuality, they must understand that the design for gender and sexuality in Scripture is the design that all humans are obligated to live within, even if they do not appear most the natural or easiest in light of sin. What Christians believe about sexuality and gender is not an “in-house” argument for debate among Christians only. The Bible understands gender and sexuality as creational realities that determine whether a society will organize itself in subjection to God’s authority or in rejection to God’s authority.
As ethicist Bernd Wannenwetsch writes, “The Christian doctrine of creation is precisely such a way of explaining why there are aspects of reality that are invested with normative moral significance” (see “Creation and Ethics: On the Legitimacy and Limitation of Appeals to ‘Nature’ in Christian Moral Reasoning,” in Within the Love of God: Essays on the Doctrine of God in Honour of Paul S. Fiddes, 209). This means that the Bible’s teaching on gender and sexuality are not sectarian. These teachings are not built on fideistic decrees or fiat. Instead, the Bible speaks to created reality in both a sinful and redeemed state—because the Lord Jesus reigns over creation and unites both creation and redemption in His gospel (see see Oliver O’Donovan, Resurrection and Moral Order: An Outline for Evangelical Ethics). Gender and sexuality do not require an exclusively Christian epistemology for their authority or intelligibility, but insofar as sin warps human perception, the Bible’s teaching do require explanation in line with the full drama of Christian doctrine. A vision for gender and sexuality that fails to satisfy the demands set forth in Genesis will be subject to endless redefinition, which is why revisionist accounts of gender and sexuality—such as same-sex marriage and gender fluidity—retain no coherent limiting principle.
Sexuality and Gender in Revolt
The five axioms above are the backdrop that explain Scripture’s prohibition on sexual practices and gender displays that transgress God-ordained creational distinctions and creational boundaries. Sin’s impact demonstrates how each of the axioms are assaulted.
- Concerning axiom one, a culture of unbelief either rejects God’s existence or God’s authority. Man’s agency, in this paradigm, is the measure of all that is. Nowhere is this more apparent than in the never-ending redefinition of sexual morality and ensuing gender confusion. Since there are no binding rules, sexuality and gender are a matter of personal will and preference. Sexuality and gender are self-chosen, issuing from the autonomous self. Since humanity is not bound by a code of objective and universal morality, what Christians consider sexually immoral or out of step with God’s intent for gender expression, is shorn of all taboo and prohibition— whether pornography (Ps. 101:3; Matt. 5:28; Col. 3:5) , bestiality (Lev. 18:23, 20:15–16; Exod. 22:19), polygamy (Gen. 2:24), lust (Matt. 5:28; Mark 7:20–23) , adultery (1 Cor. 6:9–11), orgies (Gal. 5:19–21), non-monogamy (Matt. 19:1–10), rape (Deut. 22:23–29; Ezek. 45:9; Mark 12:31), pedophilia (Matt. 18:5–6), homosexuality (Rom. 1:26–27; 1 Cor. 6:9–11), fornication (Gen. 2:24; Deut. 22:28–29; Eph. 5:3; 1 Thess. 4:1–8), incest (Lev 18:8–18; 1 Cor. 5:1–5), prostitution (Hos. 4:14) cross-dressing (Deut. 22:5; 1 Cor. 11:3–16), effeminacy (1 Cor 6:9–10), androgyny (Gen 1:27–28;), illicit seduction (Gen. 34; Prov. 7:6–23), transgenderism (Gen. 1:27–28), and sexual abuse (Deut. 22:25–27; Mark 12:31).
- In axiom two, humanity denies that it is a divine creation born of an intelligent and divine will, or inscribed with any inherent, fixed meaning. Any sexual arrangement is thus allowable insofar as consent is present; and any gender expression is permissible insofar as it comports with a person’s self-perception. Since humanity may or may not be the creation of a divine being, saying that a particular sexual arrangement or gender expression is prohibited is simply a product of social convention.
- With axiom three, humanity divests itself of any particular calling in light of being made in God’s image. Since we are not special creations endowed with a mission to exercise dominion, we subsist by vain expressions of human autonomy and self-seeking justification. Our liberation from God’s constraints becomes our abolition.
- In axiom four, humanity denies that male and female are objective and fixed realities. Instead, gender fluidity and suppression of sexed realities paint a portrait of gender and sexuality that is endlessly malleable and psychologically grounded. This allows such sins as transgenderism.
- In axiom five, the beauty of male-female complementarity is denied, meaning that the creational guardrails for sexuality are nullified. This licenses such sexual sins as homosexuality. It is not that homosexuality is worse than all other sins; but that it narrates through vivid and graphic portrayal an expulsive rejection of God’s authority concerning creational design and boundaries.
In all five axioms, what is at the root of humanity’s assault on God-defined expressions of sexuality and gender? God’s authority over sexual desire and sexual relationships, and God’s design for how gender is conceived and expressed, is cast off. As it is with every issue of ethics and morality, the idea that any objective standard exists and is binding begins and ends with whether God exists and whether He intends to hold individuals accountable for their actions.
Sexuality and Gender in Redemption
While this essay has strived to present an argument for the Bible’s teaching on gender and sexuality that is true on both general and revelation grounds, it would be incomplete if it failed to examine how sexuality and gender are understood within the horizon of the gospel.
- The New Testament reaffirms the vision for gender and sexuality taught in Genesis. The gospel offers the promise of the Holy Spirit’s guidance to live lives of holiness; the gospel does not create a radically new or disjunctive expectation for sexual morality and appropriate gender expression. In Matthew 19, Jesus affirms that the creational pattern for male and female set forth in Genesis 1–2 remains authoritative and binding for humanity. In Acts 15, the earliest church leaders confirmed that obedience to Old Testament law was not expected for Gentle Christians, but Christians were expected to uphold the same standard of Old Testament sexual morality inaugurated at creation. The pattern for sexual relationship and gender expression laid out for the early Christians thus validates the pattern begun in Genesis. Furthermore, New Testament prohibitions on sexual practices (e.g., homosexuality, incest) are echoes of the Old Testament’s sexual ethic. This ethic is grounded in God’s moral law and cannot be discarded or excused as pertaining only to Israel. The New Testament makes clear that sexual rebellion and rejection of appropriate gender boundaries renders culpable before God’s judgement (1 Cor. 6:9–11).
- The gospel brings fulfilling clarity to the vision for gender and sexuality taught in Genesis. The storyline and arc of the Bible’s teaching on gender and sexuality is one that relies upon narrative climax. In Ephesians 5:22–23, Paul explains that the union of husband and wife is meant to foreshadow the most visceral union in the cosmos—the Christ-Church union. Nowhere is the explanation of the Christ-Church union meant to overwhelm, supplant, or eradicate the underlying validity of male-female complementarity set forth in Genesis. The story of the gospel’s relationship to created nature—which includes our sexuality and gender—is that created nature would be led in the direction it was always intended (see Wannenwetsch, “Creation and Ethics,” 210). Though sexuality and gender remain creationally intelligible despite the fall, as Christians, we believe that both are ultimately designed to reflect the union of Christ and the church.
- The gospel empowers Christians to live in accord with the biblical vision for gender and sexuality taught in Genesis. The gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ calls us to glorify God with our bodies because they were purchased by Him (1 Cor. 6:20). This purchase comprises the whole man (2 Cor. 5:17). We are called to honor the Lord Jesus and to submit to Him our sexual desires as well as our conduct (Matt. 5:28; Gal. 5:19–21; Eph. 4:22–24; Col. 3:5; 1 Thess. 4:1–8). We are to flee all forms of sexual morality (1 Cor. 6:18; Eph. 5:3–5; 1 Thess. 4:1–8). We embrace appropriate gender norms so as not to scandalize or give offense with impropriety of gender expression (Deut. 22:5; 1 Cor. 6:9; 11:3–16; 1 Tim. 2:9). Christians believe that we are not our own, and that we owe every facet of our existence—our gender expression and our sexuality—to Jesus Christ (Col. 1:15–20).
FURTHER READING
- Andreas Köstenberger, God, Marriage, and Family: Rebuilding the Biblical Foundation
- Andrew T. Walker, God and the Transgender Debate. See this author interview.
- Andrew T. Walker and Eric Teetsel, Marriage Is: How Marriage Transforms Society and Cultivates Human Flourishing
- Andrew T. Walker, “On Creation, Revelation, and the Meaning of Male and Female”
- Christopher C. Roberts, Creation & Covenant: The Significance of Sexual Difference in the Moral Theology of Marriage
- Daniel Heimbach, True Sexual Morality: Recovering Biblical Standards for a Culture in Crisis
- Dennis Hollinger, The Meaning of Sex: Christian Ethics and the Moral Life
- Denny Burk, What is the Meaning of Sex?
- John Piper and Wayne Grudem, Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood: A Response to Evangelical Feminism
- Ryan T. Anderson, When Harry Became Sally: Responding to the Transgender Moment
- Sherif Girgis, Ryan T. Anderson, and Robert P. George, What is Marriage? Man and Woman: A Defense
- Stanley Grenz, Sexual Ethics: An Evangelical Perspective
- The Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, The Nashville Statement,
- Todd Wilson, Mere Sexuality: Rediscovering the Christian Vision of Sexuality
This essay is part of the Concise Theology series. All views expressed in this essay are those of the author. This essay is freely available under Creative Commons License with Attribution-ShareAlike, allowing users to share it in other mediums/formats and adapt/translate the content as long as an attribution link, indication of changes, and the same Creative Commons License applies to that material. If you are interested in translating our content or are interested in joining our community of translators, please reach out to us.
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If there is a being up in heaven right now that spoke the world into existence.. If there really is a creator, then why would I value my own opinion so much? When we think about who God is, it puts everything into perspective. In an interview with Christian Sexuality, Francis Chan gives his testimony on his upbringing and relationship with God. Francis dives into the authority of God, denying yourself, and obeying Christ even when you don’t want to. What does it look like to share the hard truth in love for someone even when they don’t want to hear it? What is our responsibility as Christians?
www.crazylove.org.
“Did God make them gay?”
What a whopper of a question. I groaned a little bit inside as my inquisitive 13-year-old asked me this.
He was peering over my shoulder at the computer screen. I was looking at pictures on Facebook of recent wedding pictures—two women holding hands in brides dresses.
“That’s an interesting question,” I replied. “What do you think?”
This prompted a discussion—as you can imagine, a little more than I had bargained for—about same-sex attraction. Here are my thoughts on handling the question “Did God make them gay?”
So, are they born gay? Did God make them gay?
Our children are going ask themselves questions about sexual orientation.
And if you’re lucky, they’ll want to talk to you about these questions. Yes, this is a good thing. It means you’ve fostered a good relationship with your kids, and they want to discuss complex topics with you.
Unless you’ve been living under a rock on another planet, you know in recent years same-sex attraction has been a topic brought to the forefront in both media and politics. (Of course, in reality, same-sex attraction has been around for millennia—it’s nothing new.)
And the “Why” question is a pretty natural question to ask: Why does someone experience same-sex attraction when the most of the world doesn’t?
There’s been a lot of ink spilled over this question—many nature-vs-nurture debates:
- Are people gay because it was merely their choice to be so?
- Does someone become gay or lesbian because of some kind of trauma?
- Is it because of upbringing?
- Do genetics or brain development have to do with it—are people born gay? Did God make them gay?
People often turn to science to answer these questions, and, of course, there’s nothing wrong with good scientific research.*
But Christian parents don’t need to get bogged down trying to unravel the mysterious origins of same-sex attraction for their kids.
Why? Because there are better questions we can teach our kids to ask…
Better Question #1: Does science teach us what’s right and wrong?
This is the question behind the question. It’s a question about ethics.
When our kids wonder if a person is “born that way,” often they’re asking because they assume, “If someone is born gay, it means there’s nothing wrong with it.”
But here’s the critical truth we need our kids to grasp:
Science can only reveal what is; it can’t tell us what should be.
Of course, we can use scientific data to help us make moral decisions. But its never the data alone that determines right or wrong.
- Science can tell us how to repair a damaged heart, but it doesn’t tell us whether we ought to operate.
- Science can tell us that a fetus is human life, genetically speaking, but it can’t tell us a fetus should have a right to life.
- Science can tell us how alcohol damages a liver, but it can’t tell us we ought to stop drinking.
But we live in a world where culture pushes a twisted narrative: if you’re “born” with an attraction to your own sex, it must be right. This is ridiculous. If my genetics predispose me to alcoholism, is it right to become a drunk? We don’t apply this logic to anything else.
Christian parents should emphasize to their children only God can reveal what our values must be and He has revealed it through His prophets in the Bible.
Better Question #2: Aren’t we all “born this way”?
If there’s some kind of genetic or hormonal component to same-sex attraction, it shouldn’t surprise Christians at all.
For centuries, Christians have taught the doctrine of “original sin.” Because of our first parent’s (Adam and Eve) sin, we have all corrupt hearts—impacting the way we think, what we desire, and even corrupting our physical bodies (Matt. 15:19; Rom. 5:12,19; 7:21-23; 8:7-8; Eph. 2:1-3).
Ed Shaw, Associate Pastor of Emmanuel City Centre in Bristol, England, has experienced same-sex attraction for most of his life. He explains what original sin is and how it impacts his understanding of his own homosexual desires:
The Bible clearly teaches that all human beings sin naturally. But the Bible also clearly shows that all human beings have a propensity to sin differently. Moses had an anger problem. For David his weakness was sex. For Peter it was pride. For Ed Shaw it is (amongst other things), same-sex sexual immorality.
To quote Lady Gaga, we are all “born this way.”
So, your kids as you, “Did God make them gay?” And as Christian parents we need to explain to our kids how the Fall brought brokenness into our bodies, minds, and souls—and that shows up differently for different people.
There are some temptations that appear to be nearly universal in scope: all of us are tempted to selfishness and pride. There are other temptations that only seem to afflict specific people.
And yes, there are all kinds of sinful dispositions that may have some kind of hereditary or genetic component. But, even if same-sex attraction is somehow undergirded by genetics, Shaw comments, “At the same time, God holds me responsible for how I respond to it and whether I act upon it”—just as he does for every person with sinful desires.
We need to let our kids know we all have sinful desires in our hearts that we haven’t chosen to be there, but this doesn’t make those desires good.
Intentional PARENTING
More Resources for Parents about Sex Education:
- Preparing Christian Kids for the LGBT World
- Transgenderism: 5 Things Your Kids Need to Hear You Say
- Modern SexEd Gone Crazy, and How Christian Parents Should Respond
- Christians: Stop Protecting Your Kids From Sex
This insightful (and controversial) article was written in 2013. It’s shocking that America, once a conservative nation, now faces these issues on a daily basis!
Children at Stockholm’s Nicolaigarden preschool, which avoids gender stereotypes (Casper Hedberg / The New York Times / Redux)
In certain schools in Stockholm, teachers try not to use terms like “boys” or “girls.” In an effort to reach a greater level of gender equality, the country of Sweden is pushing for gender neutrality. Pronouns like “he and she” are replaced with “hen,” and children’s books have protagonists who are not clearly male or female.
Jeff Coulter, a resident of Sweden who assists churches, gave me some fascinating insight into how this plays out in other settings:
We moved here when my wife was seven months pregnant. It was intriguing that there was no real interest from the doctors in what sex the baby would be (we already knew from an ultrasound in the US). When our daughter was born the doctors paid no attention at all what gender was. I asked a few minutes after she was born just to make sure the ultrasound was correct. Also, my wife and I have noticed that baby clothes here are much more gender neutral. You would be hard pressed to dress your baby girl in all pink, something that seems to be very easy in America.
TIME Looks into Sweden’s Social Experiment
TIME reported on this new development in “Boys Won’t Be Boys,” an interesting article that gives an inside look into Sweden’s fight to “eradicate gender discrimination” and create “a society in which gender doesn’t matter.” The writer, Lisa Abend, describes the atmosphere in a Scandinavian school:
The cozy library is carefully calibrated to contain the same number of books with female protagonists as those with male ones. Boys and girls alike twirl silken scarves during dance class, and they have equal access to pirate and princess costumes…
How did educators convince parents to get on board with this kind of experiment?
“Once we made the decision to improve this, it wasn’t hard to convince the parents,” says Rajalin (educator). “I simply did this.” She walks over to the whiteboard and draws a circle, then divides it in half. “On the right side are the things for girls” – she draws several lines inside the semicircle – “and on this are the things for boys. And then I asked, ‘Do you want your child’s life to be a half-circle or a whole one?’”
Is the United States moving in Sweden’s direction? A professor at the University of Washington thinks so:
“For the rest of the West, Sweden is laying the groundwork… They’re sort of postgender now and are focusing more on humanism, on what – as humans – is going to bring us all closer to equal rights. Sweden is our future.”
The TIME article seems conflicted about gender neutrality. The subtitle of the article calls it a “noble experiment” but also claims it is “political correctness gone overboard.” Perhaps the most fascinating aspect of the article is the description of feminism as a “state religion.”
Writer Lisa Abend quotes from people who believe the push for equality is actually “erasure” of gender distinctiveness altogether. An engineer is quoted, mourning the loss of any public discourse about the issue because of public intimidation and attempts to suppress even the mildest antifeminist expression.
How Should Christians Respond?
If Sweden is our future, then we are in trouble. The idea of humanity as completely neutral in terms of gender is foreign to a Scriptural understanding of who we are. Human beings bear God’s image, and God made us male and female. He didn’t make us merely human. He made us gendered beings.
What’s at stake in this discussion? Human flourishing. We don’t flourish when we suppress or ignore gender distinctives. Such an existence creates a flatter, duller society. Instead, we flourish when we embrace our maleness or femaleness as God’s gift to us – intended for our joy and His glory. The differences between men and women aren’t obstacles to overcome; they’re glorious and beautiful.
We should not seek to be “gender-blind,” just as we shouldn’t seek to be “colorblind.” One does not end racism by painting everyone the same color so that we no longer see any racial or ethnic distinctiveness. Neither does one create gender equality by pretending there is no inherent difference between the sexes. The failure of such a system is already evident in the fact people have resorted to social pressure and legislative attempts to keep others in line with this thinking.
Complementarian and Egalitarian Unity
Complementarian Christians in the West believe there is a difference between gender equality (men and women are of equal worth and value before God) and gender roles (men and women have unique roles). For a feminist, the idea that men and women should perform different functions in the home, the church, or society is tantamount to sex discrimination. Gender roles are something we should seek to avoid or escape, never embrace.
Egalitarian Christians in the West generally affirm uniqueness of male and female and a distinctiveness in their roles. They disagree with complementarians as to how this distinctiveness plays out in church leadership and (sometimes) home life.
Still, in looking at the Swedish experiment, I believe complementarians and egalitarians should be able to lock arms and say, We believe gender is a gift of God. We believe God made us male and female and not gender-neutral “humans,” and that equality does not erase gender distinctives.
Mission in a Post-Gender World
Our Christian calling is not merely to decry the sinfulness of a culture, but to declare the Savior of the world. That’s why I asked two church planters in Sweden to comment on the TIME article and to give some insight into how one ministers in this kind of society. Pastor Phil Whittall had this to say:
“Gender equality and indeed neutrality is a huge deal in Sweden, but some nuance is also needed. Yes, there are schools that use ‘hen,’ but it is a very small number right now. It’s certainly not the case for every preschool.”
On a personal level, at the pre-school our children attend, gender raises itself in a number of ways. There is a policy of opposite reinforcement – so a boy will receive praise for choosing traditionally female activities – cooking, dolls etc. and girls will receive praise for climbing a tree or playing football. No praise is given for the opposite. So no praise for girls choosing dolls or boys choosing football.
A woman in our church plant is training to work in pre-schools and was marked down in coursework for writing that she believed men and women are different. The general policy is that that the genders are the same and biology is essentially irrelevant.
Parents of pre-school children are encouraged to think about how they talk and act in regards to sons and daughters to break down prejudices.
Feminism as the state religion is probably not all that off the mark although gender activists here still find plenty of things to campaign on.
How does one engage in ministry in this environment? Phil mentioned four things:
1. Our Attitude. We don’t want to decry everything about feminism or gender equality in many areas of society, not all the changes are bad ones. We seek to affirm what can be affirmed and to encourage what can be encouraged. Nuance isn’t easy but otherwise we’re too easy to pigeonhole and label. However, we cannot compromise clear biblical teaching!
2. Ask Questions. Do people really believe there are no differences? What would that mean if they did? What would we lose? What would we gain? Most people aren’t engaging with the issues but are just being swept along by the cultural tide.
3. Think through the theology of the body. This relates not just to gender but to sexuality. Sweden is a very liberal place in its approach. For example, the bishop of Stockholm in the Lutheran church is a lesbian in a partnership with a son.
4. Don’t Be Unnecessarily Gendered. There’s no sense in creating obstacles where they aren’t necessary. Just because we believe elders should be male doesn’t mean the discussion should only be had by only males, for example. We can encourage women to speak up.
Jeff Coulter echoed these thoughts:
“We also need to be good listeners. After spending four months in Swedish language school, I have learned a lot about the culture, not just the language. Asking good questions is vital, but listening to their answers is key to knowing how to show people their need of a Savior. Ultimately the world is without hope, that’s why we are still here to declare the good news of the Gospel.”
We must speak the truth without compromise. We must be devoted to obey the principles of the Word of God. We must also lead people into the truth with love and patience.
thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/trevinwax/2013/12/16/no-more-gender-a-look-into-swedens-social-experiment/. Used by permission of the author and Gospel Coalition.
SIX MAJOR PERCEPTIONS
This Short explores the top six major perceptions revealed from our research and the most common points of skepticism and objections raised by outsiders.
Those six major perceptions are as follows:
1. HYPOCRITICAL
Outsiders consider us hypocritical — saying one thing and doing another — and they are skeptical of our morally superior attitudes. Whether we like it or not, the term “hypocritical” has become fused to young people’s experience with Christianity. Eighty-five percent of young outsiders have had sufficient exposure to Christians and churches and they conclude present-day Christianity is hypocritical. They say Christians pretend to be something unreal, conveying a polished image that is not accurate. We are not known for the depth of our transparency, for digging in and solving deep-seated problems, but for trying to project an unchristian picture of having it all together.
A significant antidote to hypocrisy (in addition to integrity and purity) is transparency. On one level, hypocrisy is failing to acknowledge the inconsistencies in our life. It is denial. It is, as the Bible describes it, trying to remove a speck from someone else’s eye when you have a log in your own. Living with integrity starts with being transparent.
Young people talk these days about the need for authenticity, for “keepin’ it real” — not pretending to be something you are not, being open about your faults. Young people are searching for this type of person, this kind of lifestyle. In one survey we found that “doing what you say you are going to do” was among the characteristics young people most admired.
Does your life point people to a life in Christ that bursts with freedom to love, restoration, purity, and transparency? Or are you burying people — insiders and outsiders — under the weight of a self-righteous life?
2. TOO FOCUSED ON GETTING CONVERTS
Outsiders wonder if we genuinely care about them. Even if our intentions seem pure to us, outsiders often feel targeted, that we merely want another church member or a new notch in the “getsaved” belt. While we are trying to convey the most important message in human history — that Jesus offers a new life through faith in him — something gets lost in translation.
Statistics that reinforce this perception: only one out of seven outsiders describes Christianity as something that seems genuine and real; and just one-third believes that Christians show genuine interest in them. To change the perception that we are focused only on converts, we have to embrace a more holistic idea of what it means to be a Christ follower. This requires us to focus our attention on spiritual transformation. Most people do not have a clear sense of what spiritual transformation is or what it should look like. This is partly understandable because it is an elusive topic. By definition, spiritual formation is about depth rather than simplistic formulas. Yet it is hard to pursue something that is not defined.
According to Dave Kinnaman, One way of looking at spiritual formation, though certainly not the only way, is to examine the passions that should define a Christ follower.
“In our work at Barna, we examine these seven elements:
- worshiping God intimately and passionately
- engaging in spiritual friendships with other believers
- pursuing faith in the context of family
- embracing intentional forms of spiritual growth
- serving others
- investing time and resources in spiritual pursuits
- having faith-based conversations with outsiders
The truth is that when a person makes a commitment to Christ, it is just the first step into a much larger reality. When people become Christians, we must describe appropriate expectations for them; engage them in significant, accountable relationships; and fashion environments where deep life change can take place. How well does your life and ministry embrace this perspective? Are you focused on scoring converts or making disciples?”
3. ANTI-GAY
In our research, the perception that Christians are “against” gays and lesbians ( or any LGBTQ+ persons_ — not only objecting to their lifestyles but also harboring irrational fear and unmerited scorn toward them — has reached critical mass. The gay issue has become the “big one,” the negative image most likely to be intertwined with Christianity’s reputation. It is also the dimension that most clearly demonstrates the unChristian faith to young people today, surfacing a spate of negative perceptions: judgmental, bigoted, sheltered, right-wingers, hypocritical, insincere, and uncaring. Outsiders say our hostility toward gays — not just opposition to homosexual politics and behaviors but disdain for gay individuals — has become virtually synonymous with the Christian faith.
Out of twenty attributes that we assessed, both positive and negative, as they related to Christianity, the perception of being anti-gay was at the top of the list. More than nine out of ten Mosaic and Buster outsiders (91 percent) said “antihomosexual” accurately describes present-day Christianity. And two-thirds of outsiders have very strong opinions about Christians in this regard, easily generating the largest group of vocal critics. When you introduce yourself as a Christian to a friend, neighbor, or business associate who is an outsider, you might as well have it tattooed on your arm: gay-hater, homophobic. I doubt you think of yourself in these terms, but that’s what outsiders think of you. Our biblical stance must be uncompromizing, but our awareness of how we are perceived and how we minister must be effectively addressed.
The central teaching of the Bible, however, is that all sin is, at its core, rebellion against God. No one sin is worse than another. Pastor Shayne Wheeler makes this observation: “There is not a special judgment for homosexuals, and there is not a special righteousness for heterosexuals.” Another pastor put it simply: “The struggle of gays in being attracted to the same sex is no different than my struggle in being attracted to the opposite sex.”
We are all sinners. No one is any more likely or less likely to receive God’s free gift of grace. All have fallen short of God’s standards. The Bible says while we were still enemies of God, he made peace with us through the cross (Rom. 5:19). Because he loved the world, he sent his Son to die (John 3:16). Everything hinges on what a person decides to do with Jesus — commit to him or reject him. Regardless of the sin we commit, he still loves us. If this is true for you and me, then it’s true for the homosexual as well.
Let me drive this point home as it relates to homosexuality. It’s true that sexual sins are particularly destructive in people’s lives, but this is true of all sexual sin. And frankly, when we recognize this, it should engage our concern and compassion on the issue of homosexuality even more.
Christians, and particularly evangelicals, have relied primarily on two methods of dealing with the threats they perceive from the homosexual community: preaching and politics. Over the last twenty years or so, there has been a substantial increase in the percentage of churchgoers who have heard a sermon about homosexuality, with more than two thirds of attendees in evangelical churches recalling such sermons. The second solution has been political engagement. Among those born-again Christians who have cast a ballot concerning same-sex marriage, nearly nine out of ten recall voting against it.
Most revealing, perhaps, is the comparative absence in the Christian community of any other approaches to addressing homosexuality. Although most Christians say they are concerned about homosexual lifestyles, just 4 percent of Americans (and 10 percent of born again Christians) say they have engaged in any other nonpolitical means of addressing what they perceive to be a problem. Only one percent of Americans say they pray for homosexuals; a similarly miniscule proportion say they address the issue by donating money to organizations that help people dealing with the lifestyle or that they try to have meaningful discussions with people about it. This information was derived from a random, representative sample of 1,007 adults, among whom more than 600 said that the homosexual lifestyle is a problem facing America. As people described what they thought would help, just one respondent offered the word love as a potential solution. One other survey participant suggested, “being sympathetic.” Simply put, Christians think there is a problem but have no idea what to do besides voting and listening to sermons about it.
The biblical response to homosexuals should be to deal with the fundamental needs that all men and women have. We must acknowledge that everyone, regardless of age and history, has sexual baggage but also has the potential for sexual wholeness.
Develop a process within your church or within your life that allows people to work through sexual issues in a context of accountability, respect, and transparency.
Life is not about easy answers, even if God is predictable in his moral character. How well are you dealing with the best and worst aspects of human sexuality? How are you dealing with the complexities of sexuality in your life and those of others?
4. SHELTERED
Boring. Old-fashioned. Unintelligent. Confusing.
Outsiders think Christianity is out of tune with the real-world choices, challenges, and lifestyles they face. Only one-fifth of young outsiders believe that an active faith helps people live a better, more fulfilling life. Three-quarters of Mosaics and Busters outside the church said that present-day Christianity could accurately be described as oldfashioned, and seven out of ten believe the faith is out of touch with reality and confusing.
Many outsiders believe Christianity insulates people from thinking. Often young people (including many insiders) doubt that Christianity boosts intellect. Outsiders describe Christians as living in their own world. Even though outsiders generally have friends who are Christians, one of their complaints is that Christians are not speaking on the same level as everyone else. Nearly one-quarter describe Christians as using special words and phrases no one else can understand. And half of all young outsiders said that Christianity seems like a club only certain people can join.
Being perceived as sheltered makes Christians seem aloof and insulated.
We are responsible to engage the world. Jesus uses many metaphors for this. We are the light of the world (that is, we offer guidance that points people to restoration); we are the salt of the earth (we help preserve people); and we are a city on a hill (we offer protection and hope for people) (see Matt. 5:13–16). Yet calling ourselves Christians does not mean that guiding, preserving, or protecting are easy and automatic. It’s not easy but it is our duty to help remedy a broken world, and this takes effort. Our responsibility is to embrace this task with humility and energy, without expecting the world to come to our doorstep.
The lion’s den made Daniel famous, but it wasn’t just his being in the right place at the right time that determined his place in history. He was prepared. As a young man, Daniel had significant characteristics and readiness that enabled his rise to prominence. He was “showing aptitude for every kind of learning, well informed, quick to understand, and qualified to serve in the king’s palace” (Dan. 1:4 NIV). He grew up in a Babylonian kingdom that was rebellious to God and self-indulgent (sound like America today?). But Daniel didn’t hole up in his spirituality. He learned what lessons he could from an impure society, and through his abilities and his faithfulness to God, he became influential, eventually administrating much of the Babylonian empire.
When Christians shelter themselves, letting “someone else” answer the world’s doubts and address its problems, they abdicate their biblical role to be spiritual influencers. It is incumbent on us to develop our hearts and minds so that we can fulfill our destiny as agents of spiritual, moral, and cultural transformation. When you see a broken and offensive world, are you provoked to do something to remedy those spiritual and moral fractures? Or do you run and hide?
5. TOO POLITICAL
Another common perception of Christians is that we are overly motivated by a political agenda, that we promote and represent politically conservative interests and issues. Conservative Christians are often thought of as right-wingers.
My goal is not to suggest that Christians should neglect or ignore politics. The political arena is a crucial setting for influencing culture and an important domain for expressing a Christian worldview. On the other hand, we must not be defensive or dismissive about this issue.
Christians need to be aware of their reputation in this arena, not only because it influences their political engagement, but because it affects their ability to connect with new generations who are innately skeptical of people who appear to use political power to protect their interests and viewpoints. This perception may not always be accurate, but it contributes to outsiders’ mistrust of Christians.
You might ask, “Since every group seems to have a political presence and agenda, why should Christians be subject to special criticism?” “Are outsiders asking us to stay out of politics?” According to our research, not exactly. Many outsiders clarified that they believe Christians have a right (even an obligation) to pursue political involvement, but they disagree with our methods and our attitudes. They say we seem to be pursuing an agenda that benefits only ourselves; they assert that we expect too much out of politics; they question whether we are motivated by our economic status rather than faith perspectives when we support conservative politics; they claim we act and say things in an unChristian manner; they wonder whether Jesus would use political power as we do; and they are concerned that we overpower the voices of other groups.
How do we overcome the perception that Christians are too political? We do not simply change our principles to accommodate people who disagree with us, but we should be willing to look at ourselves in the light of Jesus. We must ask if our political engagement is Christlike. If we are perceived to be unlike Jesus, in what ways could our politics reflect his life and priorities more clearly?
Possibly you are feeling led to address the rampant access to and use of pornography, issues of justice in the United States or in developing countries, the plight of the poor in our community, educational policy or curricula in our schools, the moral perspectives exhibited in today’s media, the care and nurture of the environment, the need for more Christians to adopt and provide foster care to children in need, exposing more Christians to the international church, increasing awareness of human trafficking around the world. Being involved could range from working for a campaign to serving on the school board. Rather than being known for criticism, let’s learn to step in and work toward a solution for the problems we see.
As the renowned artist Michelangelo said, “Critique by creating.” How could you and your community be creating solutions to deepseated and complex issues?
6. JUDGMENTAL
“You know what really bothered me?” the young woman, Lisa, confessed during a recent interview.
“Well, you’re asking how Christians come across to me. I’ll tell you. A few weeks ago I visited a Christian Bible study at a church. Every once in a while I go because I know a few of the women. You know, I am still trying to figure out this Jesus thing. After the speaker talked for a while, we started a conversation at our table — about eight or nine of us women just chatting away. I was probably the youngest one there, but some of them were about my age. We got along pretty well.”
“So, what happened that bothered you?”
“We were talking about sex, intimacy, and pregnancy, stuff like that. I told them about a friend of mine who was considering an abortion. I told them her entire situation, a twenty-year-old, boyfriend left her. She’s feeling really alone. I made some comment about really empathizing with my friend, that I could understand that abortion might make sense. I guess that shocked them. I know the women there are pro-life and all — I don’t know what I am, pro-life or pro-choice or just myself. But the conversation shifted at that point in a really weird way. Instead of having a dialogue, I was put on the defensive. They were nice enough about it, but the ladies just kept talking at me, trying to fix my attitude about abortion.”
How do non-Christians perceive us? We have to understand their perceptions if we are to reach them with the message of Christ. We must boldly proclaim the truth, but we must do so with understanding and love.
www.qideas.org. Used by permission.
This article was a collaboration between Gabe Lyons and Dave Kinnaman.
Order Unchristian by Gabe Lyons and Dave Kinnaman.
http://www.qideas.org/ Used by permission.
This article was a collaborative effort with Dave Kinnamen.