predestination
Battles come every day. In whatever form they come, they come.
They come with relentless pressure, incessantly assailing the battlements of our lives and our culture. Battles come in our marriages, in our families, in our jobs, in our communities and in our friendships. Enemies violently storm our lives, startlingly surging out of places and people and situations that we never dreamt they would surge from. Dark storm clouds gather over the horizon of politics, and enemies marshal their forces and assail our economy. Deteriorating ethics and collapsing morals perpetually weaken walls that have long protected the integrity of our culture, permitting enemies of all sorts frightening entrance in places we once assumed as invincible. When one battle appears to be ebbing in one place, another always seems to be brewing in another.
Then there are the battles around our own thoughts. We’re constantly pressing against the desire to feed that voraciously hungry dark side of ourselves and perpetrate a great wrong in order to feed it. It seems that we are incessantly faced with vexing questions and draining decisions that seem to be intentionally designed to batter the bulwark of our morals at every turn. We are constantly faced with choices that stretch our ethics to the breaking point, effortlessly snapping the very back of those ethics as we succumb to our baser self and then grapple with the guilt that suffocates us once we’ve caved.
There are battles within battles that become horribly tangled and impossibly enmeshed, radically elevating the complexity of situations to near insanity and beyond. We are confronted with battles that are less battles and more points of irritation, all too frequently being the result of sloppy living on our part or on the part of someone else. There are battles fought for the sole purpose of staging the next battle, or provoking one. Battles rage for the purpose of strategically positioning a person, a philosophy or a cause, thereby rendering victory little more than a secondary objective. Often battles are fought for the singular purpose of forcing cherished societal issues to the forefront, repositioning political opponents, solidifying allies, courting world favor, or simply to make a statement. Indeed, battles abound.
Giving Battles Permission
Far too often these enemies seize perpetually higher ground right in middle of innumerable masses of people who ignore both the savagery of the battle, as well as the horrific consequences of the very battle that rages all around them. Too often it’s not that we lose battles, or fight them ineptly, or run in panicked fashion away from them. Rather, as impossible and improbable as it sounds, it’s often the case that we ignore their very existence despite the screaming ferocity of them. In reality, the greatest tragedy may not be the battle itself and the carnage that it wreaks. Rather, the far greater tragedy may be our ignorance of the battle. It would seem that a weak defense is hardly the worst case scenario. Not recognizing the battle in the first place is clearly the most dangerous scenario of all.
The Enemy as Providential Progression
The increasingly frightening nature of the battles rests not simply in the abject ignorance of many as to the battle itself, but it rests with those who write off the battle as the natural progression of the culture to some higher consciousness and more refined state of democracy. There are those who view the onset of destructive forces as possessing the essential elements and irresistible energy that has both the method and muscle to perpetuate the evolutionary process that is certain to birth a more robust and advanced society. And in viewing these battles in this manner the battle is dismissed and the need to step up and fight it need not be considered.
It is the opinion of some that it is in the tearing down that the building up most effectively occurs. Indeed, such a belief certainly has great validity if the tearing down rests in the hands of a morality that realizes that immorality can most certainly tear down, but it does not have within itself the character to rebuild. Therefore, what is destructive is errantly seen as good in that whatever might be destructive about it is offset by the good that our agenda purports it will bring. Such skewed nonsense embraces the enemy as importing a hidden good that offsets the bad nature of the enemy.
Morals as Restraining
There appears to be some deliriously cock-eyed sense that true advances are only restrained by the values that birthed them, so to battle on behalf of them is to battle against progress itself. Too often, ‘out with the old and in with the new’ embraces a supposed vision that is far too often void of the wisdom that is critically necessary to determine if indeed it is a vision at all or if in reality it is little more than a hollow idea borne of selfishness, tainted by all things vogue and erected of bias. We may gorge ourselves on philosophies that bend truth to serve bent agendas and that give us permission to side-step core values, making our enemy a friend that we accidently mistook as an enemy. When this happens foe becomes friend, and the soft underbelly of all that we stand for becomes dangerously exposed.
Letting Battles Be Battles
The most egregious thing that we can do is to reinterpret a battle that we should fight as some glorious advancement that we need to get behind, instead of seeing it as something that we need to get behind us. I would conjecture that the greatest cowardice is to cow-down in the face of the battles that are facing us and change the face of them so that the battle becomes invisible and we can therefore live without the guilt of having run away. If we choose to succumb through surrender borne of reconstructed thinking, or should we rationalize unadulterated defection by shifting our values and pitching compromise, we will live diminished lives scarred by defeat and undercut by failure. And in the end, the victories that we were bred to win will become defeats that we will be doomed to bear.
Letting Battles be Battles
We need to let battles be battles and refuse to let them be anything else. We need to view battles through the keen eyes of morals and the honed intuition of ethics, rather than viewing battles with an eye toward changing those very morals and values. We must not allow ourselves to be deluded into believing that core morals and sound values are irreparably bound to another time that would bind all forward thinking and decisively banish forward progression. We cannot be duped by the evasive arguments that rationalize the abandonment of cherished morals and ethics because they will serve to turn the clock backward rather than creating a potent framework to thrust us forward.
In order to do that, we must boldly recognize that morals and values do not impede progress or stall advancement. Standing on solid principles as we stand on the precipice of the future is not a clarion call wherein we are compelled to retreat to the comfort of more secure or simpler times. Instead, morals and values create the potently sustaining bulwark within which our future can be securely and successfully navigated. Any future stripped of morals and purged of values is a future that will become an abhorrent past that will lend shame to our stories and paint regret across the face of history. And it will be so because the greater our advances, the more necessary the cultivation of morals and value to shape them and guide those advances. The further we advance the more vulnerable we become due to the simple fact that we possess progressively greater power that brings progressively greater implications in both the use and abuse of that power. Therefore, the further we progress the greater the need for the sure and faithful guidance of morals and ethics.
We cannot permit any argument despite how astutely conceived and tediously constructed to cause us to see enemy as friend. We must understand that it is the power of ethics embraced and morals unleashed that transform individual lives and unleash entire cultures toward rich transformation. Let the enemy be the enemy and let us stand in opposition as we are called to do so. Let us never live in denial of the battles that rage around us and within us. Indeed, let’s allow the battle to be the battle.
© 2015 Craig Lounsbrough, M.Div., Licensed Professional Counselor
What was my most embarrassing moment? Combine my brash disregard for tradition, my total lack of tact, my predilection for clumsiness and the possibilities for humiliation are endless. The longer I live, the longer the list. But I draw a great deal of comfort and hope from the life of Peter: his screw-ups and his terrible case of foot-in-mouth disease give me hope.
Where shall I begin?
Like Peter, my mortifying moments never ended.
I taught an entire marriage conference session with my fly down sporting stripey Fruit-of-the Looms for all to see. Fortunately, we were in Greece, so the congregation thought my wardrobe malfunction was a new American fashion trend. Soon after, I visited the little girl’s room during a youth choir rehearsal break and forgot to turn my wireless microphone off. Oh no!!! One spring Sunday morning, I wailed away on my B-3 rock organ for three services with my shirt inside out and nobody even told me. I guess I wouldn’t have minded much but the tag had XL in enormous letters on the back.
One sweltering June afternoon, our church rock band played a water park gig in L.A. Suddenly, the wave machine dumped two gallons of water on my leopard print leggings. They became transparent! I crawled behind the drummer and grabbed a nearby beach towel. I still cringe!
One sizzling July afternoon, I stood to conduct an orchestra the size of Nebraska for a city-wide outdoor patriotic event. The blistering heat in the ballpark caused the shellac to peel off the $15,000 cellos. I raised my baton on the towering podium and realized that the short red, white and blue skort I sported so distracted the audience, some forgot to stand for the Star-Spangled Banner. I guess I was “spangled” enough!
I sold my best friend’s handmade Christmas present for fifty cents at a yard sale. Guess what? My friend was sitting right next to me. I forgot I had received it from her. I priced her lovely item at 50 cents. Then I gave a lovely wooden salt and pepper shaker to our head deacon’s wife for Christmas. She opened it, glared back at me and reminded me that she had given it to me last Christmas. Bad for business.
I confided to a young pastor that the marriage manual we were required to use for our conferences was really, really lame. He let me know that his father-in-law had written it. Oops. I probably shouldn’t have called the Women’s Missionary Union ladies “biddies.” Awkward. The worst was the day I hugged a friend and told her how sorry I was that her husband was having an affair. He hadn’t told her yet. The list goes on. And on. And on.
That’s why Peter’s feet of clay mean so much to me.
Peter, the apostle was not alone in his uncanny ability to say and do the wrong thing at the wrong time on a daily basis. Jesus took his awesome threesome (Peter, James and John) up to the Mount of Transfiguration to rejoice with Him on the greatest day of His life: the day He shown with heavenly glory, talking with Moses and Elijah. (Matthew 17:1-9) Instead of reverently worshipping in silent humility, Pete piped up that they should build three memorials and invite the crowds to view the supernatural spectacle. Father God shut him up. “This is my Beloved Son. Listen to Him.” (v. 5) Way to go, Peter.
Jesus confided in His beloved twelve that He had come to earth to die. “Oh no, not you, Lord!” “Get behind me Satan,” Jesus retorted. (Matthew 16:23) Oops. Peter just affirmed Jesus was the Christ and the very next second he’s the mouthpiece of Satan. How humiliating!
Christ needed comfort and support in the Garden of Gethsemane. (Mark 14:37-38) Jesus was weeping and Pete started snoring. Wounded Jesus looked for his buddy the night of His trial and Peter denies Him like a yellow-bellied coward. Wow.
Peter’s three-time denial of Jesus was a new low…even for him! (Mark 14:66-72) The rooster crowed and Peter cowered. The coward!
Peter was embarrassed, humiliated, mortified. But his story wasn’t over. Jesus wasn’t finished with him. And he’s not finished with you or me either.
Jesus patiently came alongside Peter at the seaside as the disgraced disciple chomped on his McFish sandwich. (John 21:16) How remarkable! Peter had forsaken his holy calling post-crucifixion, and had returned to his stinky angling profession.
Jesus still didn’t shame Peter. Instead, Christ affirmed him by entrusting him with a life-long pastoral ministry. He called him to be a shepherd, just like the Him, the Good Shepherd Himself.
The fact that Jesus gave Simon Peter grace instead of condemnation is a great encouragement to me. I still marvel that after his bloopers, his missteps, even his denial, Jesus restored the crusty fisherman and prepared Him to spearhead the Christian church.
As I recall my multitudinous misspeaks and missteps, I am no longer surprised by my feet of clay. I know that God loves me in my broken state, and I trust that He will patiently continue to conform me into His image. I need His love, understanding and forgiveness. I’ve walked in Peter’s shoes. And so have you.
That’s why Peter writes, “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8 NIV
Hi Roger,
I am a Christian married to a Christian. I make significantly more money than my husband. I want to be able to tithe on the money I make and he doesn’t want me to. We have plenty of money and no financial burdens or debt. Should I be submissive to my husband on this issue or insist on being able to tithe on the money I make? I would actually like to give more than just a tithe, but 10% to me seems like a compromise. You can reword this question as you wish, but I would value your opinion. I would not like my name to be used to protect my husband.
Name withheld
Dear Name Withheld,
In your case I would not make it a big issue. Yielding to him now is the best way to open the door for tithing later.
Jesus taught that tithing is the natural outcome of a heart of love and obedience to God (Luke 11:42).Your husband is acting like an unbeliever in this area and must be treated as such. Peter advised wives whose husbands were not Christians to win them to Christ by their sacrificial, loving behavior. He went on to say that wives must refrain from nagging and attempting to convince their husbands with rational arguments.
Peter wrote: “Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives” (1 Peter 3:1).
Your husband is behaving like he doesn’t “believe the word” and is acting like a non-believer! So we follow Peter’s advice. Winning him over “without words” in no way precludes a talk as to why he’s reluctant to tithe. At the right time, and in the right way, it’s OK to explore with him why he refuses to tithe–or to allow you to tithe.
He obviously has issues that are worth exploring. Is he angry with God? Is he blaming God for some past hurt or suffering? Does he think that withholding a tithe makes it even? Does he resent the fact that you make more money? Is he, in a twisted way, building up his ego in trying to “control” the family’s finances? Does he think that your church doesn’t need it? Or, doesn’t deserve it? Could he be addicted to spending and buying? Does lack of faith frighten him into believing that God may not provide if you get into financial trouble? Is he bowing down the god Materialism (Matthew :24).
A frank discussion like this is not designed to get him to tithe as much as it is for him to deal with any internal issues that preclude his giving to the Lord. This not a time for judgment. It is more a time of exploration and perhaps some comfort for the suspected hurts behind his behavior.
Then, at the right time I would let him know that you are going to follow 1 Peter 3:1 and submit to his leadership and that you will keep quiet about the tithing issue. Solomon calls this “heaping burning coals on his head (Proverb 25:22). Peter probably had this verse in mind as he dispensed advice on this subject.
Tell him that if he ever he decides to let you tithe you’ll be pleased and grateful. However, until that time you intend to pray for a change in his heart– and that you will never mention it again.You don’t have to worry that Jesus is disappointed in you for not tithing. He understands. You’re in the same position as David when he wanted to build the Temple and God told him, “No!”
David was heartbroken. But, then God said to David, “You did well to have it in your heart. I’ll give you credit for building it even though you don’t.”
I believe, Name Withheld, that God is saying much the same thing to you: “I’ll still give you credit for it because I know that you have it in your heart.
So, Name Withheld, I hope that this helps you. I hope it also helps many Christian women (and men) who are laboring under the same handicap.
God bless you for your generous and loving heart.
Sincerely, Roger
We need to suffer in order to reign with Christ. When you are in the middle of suffering and you doubt that Jesus cares for you, picture Him stretching His scarred hands and showing you proof of His love for you.
Desiring God Conference, Used by permission.