free will
Why would a perfect God create us with free-will? Surely He would have known we would turn our wills against Him. Wouldn’t it have been easier to make us to be obedient and unquestioning? And in Genesis 1:31, how could God say (about the creation of man) that it was not just “good” like he said on the other five days of creation, but “very good”, knowing how that free-will would manifest itself throughout history?
When my wife and I were expecting our daughter, we actually prayed that God would give us a strong-willed child. Man, did He ever answer that prayer! That sounds insane, because strong-willed children challenge everything, from an early age. Early on, we concluded she would grow up to become a hostage negotiator!
But we prayed that prayer for a reason. We knew it would be a challenge to raise a strong-willed child. But we also knew that if we, by God’s grace, could get her pointed in the right direction, we would not have to worry about her. If she went in a particular direction, it would be her choice, her commitment, her conviction. She would not have to depend upon ours.
The point is, that free-will is absolutely necessary for commitment and conviction, and even more so, for love, grace, and mercy. In fact all of the spiritual fruit listed in Galatians 5, are acts of free-will, a free-will that has willfully submitted itself to God’s will, and is intentionally living out the imago dei. Without the freedom to reject God, you could not truly love Him any more than your lawn mower can love you. Love is an act of free-will!
He created us for a relationship with Himself, an intimate, loving relationship in which we freely choose to love Him, because He first loved us. Not out of compulsion, guilt or manipulation, but out of gratitude for the love He sheds into our lives continually.
So free-will was an absolute necessity, despite its messiness and risks. It was the only way to achieve what God was after. He knew the risks, nay the inevitability, and He was prepared to deal with it before time began.
One might assume that it was maybe through some weakness in God that He was unable to make me obedient, that God is not as all-powerful as He claims to be. But let’s think about it. Yes, it would take a mighty God to create “perfect” humans that never did anything wrong. Even with all of our technology and science we cannot create perfect machines that never fail, much less “autonomous” ones that make decisions for themselves. Surely that would be an impressive feat of power and might! That would surely be worthy of glory – at least from our perspective.
But God had something far more glorious in mind. He wants us to choose to love Him, not out of compulsion, but because we feel that is in our own best interest. Does it not take far more strength for God to woo me back to Himself than it would to force me to be obedient in the first place? The way He made me requires that He, at some point, convince me that living for Him is in my best interest. Then, and only then, is it my decision, not His or anyone else’s. Every believing parent looks for the day when they know their child is living in her own faith, not that of her parents. Does it not take an amazingly awesome God to win me back through loving mercy and grace rather than by means of intimidation?
Free-will is also a pre-requisite for creativity, another part of the imago dei. Without free-will, our repertoire of possible solutions to challenges would be limited to that which was pre-programmed into us from the beginning. And our response to any challenges would be mechanical and instinctive.
But how is free-will consistent with God’s sovereignty? In his book, “Chosen by God”, R.C. Sproule addresses the apparent conflict between mankind’s free-will and God’s sovereignty. He concludes that the two are compatible, because of God’s eternal nature and His ability to arrange the circumstances of our lives in a way that convinces us that a particular course of action would be in our own best interest. While some may look at this as a form of divine manipulation, I prefer to see it differently. God loves me so much, that He will move Heaven and Earth to help me see my need for Him and His love for me! He so wants me to “not perish” that He goes to great lengths to convince me.
One word that Sproule uses as he talks about how we make decisions is interesting. He doesn’t say we make decisions based upon what we think to be in our own best interest at the time. He says we make decisions based upon what we feel to be in our own best interest at the time. There is an important difference.
If we made decisions based upon what we think, probably not many people would ever smoke, over-eat, speed, etc. We have so much information available to us that none of these choices should really make any sense. Statistically, they all put us in danger and are shown to decrease the quality (and quantity) of life. The data are very clear, so it is not really logical to choose doing any of these things. So why do we do them anyway?
Research has clearly demonstrated that no matter how much we know about potential consequences and risks, when it come down to making decisions of all types, it comes down to what is emotionally appealing to us at the moment. Somehow that over-rides any logical conclusions we have come to previously. If we perceive some temporal emotional gratification from a particular choice, we will ultimately find some rationalization to make that choice.
Rationalization is one of mankind’s strongest faculties, right up there with denial. And they both are useful because it allows us to set aside the cold, hard facts and make the choice that gives us the most immediate sense of gratification. It takes great discipline and intentionality to overcome that tendency, and a willingness to delay gratification for some future greater good. It takes conviction! And conviction is the result of your values, what you really believe in your deepest being, that determines who you are.
True, many of us have personal or corporate value statements that are pretty lofty. But if you really want to know what you or someone else really believes deep down, who we, or they, really are, look at the actions. Jesus says it this way.
Matthew 7:15-20 – 15 “Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. 16 By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? 17 Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. 19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.”
So the issue becomes how do I make my “personal values” match my “public values” so that the choices I make reflect what I really want to become? The Apostle Paul speaks of this struggle.
Romans 7:14-25 – 14 We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. u For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
21 So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22 For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23 but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. 24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? 25 Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!
This ties into the story of Adam and Eve. They both knew what was the “right” thing to do, but a thought was planted in their minds that just maybe they were missing something really good. As they continued to ponder the thought (or meditate on it) it grew bigger in their minds and hearts until they were able to rationalize deviating from the proper course in hope of gaining that so-called “greater good”.
And that is why it’s so important to be careful what I let into my head, but become intentionally disciplined about how I think about things. I need to not dwell on things that may look good or feel good for a moment, but have negative consequences. Instead I need to diligently fill my mind with truth, and meditate on that, so that it sinks down into the deepest parts of me and becomes part of my true values. And that is how I build conviction. It’s all about building an accurate world-view! I believe that is why Paul admonishes us to be intentionally and proactively mindful of our thoughts.
Philippians 4:8 – Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Free-will is also part of the imago dei. God is the ultimate in free-will. No one does, or ever could control His thoughts and actions. God does what God wills! While we are the imago dei, we only imperfectly reflect that attribute. There is probably no one on earth or in history, except Christ, who perfectly exercises free will. And even Christ said He only did what the Father willed. In most cases, what we call free-will is choosing the lesser of two perceived evils, especially when free-will is only practiced in reaction to our circumstances. We approach perfect free-will more closely when we are intentional and proactive in our lives. But even then, our choices are strongly influenced by perceived immediate threats and opportunities.
So when God created us with free will, He determined that He would not force His will upon us in regard to His relationship with us. He knew that would not allow us to love Him as He desires. Instead, He allows us adequate room to express that love in our own way, and in our own time. He lovingly draws us to Himself.
Jeremiah 31:3 – The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.
The old adage that “you can draw more flies with honey than with vinegar” also applies in our case. God knew we would more likely respond out of gratitude than out of fear, and that the response would be to enter into deeper relationship. Fear never deepens a relationship; it builds walls that hinder relationship.
His loving kindness includes mercy (not getting what we deserve) and grace (getting what we could never deserve). If all He had done was to die on the cross so our sins could be forgiven, that mercy would have been more than enough. But He goes far beyond and pours grace into our lives continually through the power of His Holy Spirit. He fills our lives with good things that we in no way could deserve as a way to show His delight in us and as an invitation into deeper fellowship with Him.
He delights to give good gifts to His children, just as any good father would (Matthew 7:11, Luke 11:13). He desires that we, in gratitude, would enter into the delight with which those gifts are given. They are an invitation into deeper relationship. When we, of our own free-will respond in gratitude, we are blessed because our greatest relational need is being fulfilled. As we draw nearer to Him, we see that His motivation is love, and we are changed. We learn how to love others with the same unconditional love that He showers upon us. Then we begin to understand a bit of the blessing He receives as well. And our free-will seeks to follow His will.
God’s mercy and grace are not limited to those who are obedient.
Matthew 5:45b – … For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. (NASB)
1 Peter 3:18 – For Christ also died for sins once for all, the just for the unjust, so that He might bring us to God, having been put to death in the flesh, but made alive in the spirit; (KJV)
If it were limited to the obedient, we would all be without hope.
Our free-will, more often than not, results in bad decisions, decisions made from wrong motivations.
James 1:14-15 – But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.
Such decisions almost always have negative consequences, not just for us, but for others as well. In spite of Hs mercy and grace, God generally lets us experience the negative consequences of bad decisions, not because He can’t prevent them, but because He, like any good parent, realizes that we learn more from what we experience than what we are told. Like a loving parent, He sometimes mitigates the severity of those consequences, when the consequence would prove too severe. But rarely does He eliminate them altogether. And when He does mitigate the circumstances, He often does so at a dear cost to Himself, the ultimate example being His death on the cross.
But despite our bad decisions, God never withdraws His love. He never rescinds His invitation into deeper relationship. In fact, many times He uses the consequences to hem us in, so we are more likely to see Him waiting for us at the mouth of the box canyon into which we have fallen. We are still free to practice self-sufficiency, trying to climb out on our own, or making the box canyon our new home. He stands at the mouth of the canyon waiting for us to tire of our way and take Him up on His invitation to join Him on the hike to higher ground.
God continually places growth opportunities in our paths. He knows that growth only comes when we are stretched beyond that to which we have become accustomed. Many of the “challenges” of life are opportunities to climb out of our box and flex muscles we have used little or not at all. It is when facing such challenges that we must decide whether we indeed climb out of the box, or just pull the lid down and hide.
Even when we climb from the box, we still face decisions about how we will respond to the challenge. There are fundamentally two categories of choices we face that start with the decision to either move towards God, or to move away from Him. There are generally a limited number of responses that will result in growth towards godliness, but many more that compromise what ground we have already gained. Fortunately, He does not leave us to ourselves to figure out which is which. His word is rich in wisdom, and for those that yield to Him, he sends His Holy Spirit to live inside of their spirits to teach not just their minds, but also their hearts.
God’s unconditional and unwavering love for us frees us from many self-defeating choices. If we accept His unwavering love and acceptance, we escape the self-condemnation that so often defeats us on our journey to becoming what He created us to be. If I recognize that nothing I do will make Him love me any less, there will be no reason to beat up on myself when I do fail because I will recognize that He already knew I was going to, but He still chose to love and accept me. He sends conviction my way, but never condemnation.
Romans 8:1 – Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus…
Before Christ climbed upon the cross, He knew every horrible thing I was going to think, say, or do. But He still chose to die for me. His free-will is so strong that not even I, or anyone else can convince Him to quit loving me. He cannot be disappointed in me, because disappointment implies that He expected me to do something different than I did. But He already knew what I was going to do, and He took that to the cross along with all my other sins – so it’s covered!
Self-condemnation keeps me focused on the sin. Accepting His unconditional love keeps me focused on His loving mercy and grace, and deepens my relationship with Him. I am free to chose which path I take! And as my relationship with Him grows, it changes me; I want to draw even closer. And because it is my “want” that ultimately drives my decisions, my decisions will naturally grow to be more in line with His will, what He wants for me.
I always love how the Holy Spirit gently nudges when He has something to share… Upon returning home from the magnificent Southern Rocky Mountains, there was something that resonated deep within my spirit… something I pondered and settled deep within my heart, and stood firm in… and I wanted to share what I learned with you…
You Have A Choice.
The beauty of being a Kingdom person, is you have been given the Freedom of Choice.When you chose to receive Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, your life forever changed… and changed for the good! Youwere given the Holy Spirit (Who resides on the inside of you) to be your Comforter, yourStrengthener, your Intercessor, your Helper… the One who comes alongside you to help. He also empowers you to be a witness… to share the Gospel message boldly and fearlessly, and helps aid in your sanctification process… the things you use to do, you no longer desire to do. He helps bring these things to your attention, and leads you into righteousness.
Upon your salvation, you were also given the precious and powerful Word of God (The Sword of the Spirit) as a Divine Guide to help you navigate successfully through life with righteousness, clarity, peace, abundance, fruitfulness, direction and knowledge. The Word of God is living and active and full of power making it operative, energizing, and effective. It is your Life Manual, that is ready and made available for you to read daily and apply… so that you can flourish in this life.
You Have A Choice.
In life, there will always be “opportunities” for you to step out of peace, but you must purpose in your heart each and every day that nothing is going to take your joy nor your peace. For the joy of the Lord is your strength, and we as Kingdom Ladies are to seek peace and pursue it.
Something I have learned through the years… we cannot control everything that is happening around us… what others might say or do, or how others may behave, or what may come our way whether it be expected or unexpected, but what we can control is our response to it.
You Have A Choice.
When in the mountains, I predetermined in my heart to choose (with the Holy Spirit’s help) to remain in peace and rest. I knew this time away was divinely designed as a time or refreshing, renewal and restoration. A time away from everyday responsibilities… a time of unplugging from the phone and all it’s apps. I chose to remain in peace, enjoy the beauty of His creation and just downright enjoy my time in the mountains, and I thoroughly did! I Made the Choice.
You Have a Choice.
Life will bring you to a place of decision. A place where you have to choose your response… choosing peace over worry… faith over fear… forgiveness over unforgiveness… letting it go over rehashing it over and over… enjoying the moment over squandering it away… knee jerk reacting over just being still and allowing God to work it out in His time and in His way.
You (under the yielding of the Holy Spirit, and obedience to God’s Word) can change how you respond to anything. You can renew your mind by the Word of God. And Honey let me sweetly remind you again… you have been given the Holy Spirit and the Word of God. You have been well equipped to navigate through anything, and come out victorious while holding your peace… and perhaps your tongue. 😉
Daily, and in every situation, You Get to Choose…
…life instead of death in the words you speak about yourself and others (Prov. 18:21) …building up your household instead of tearing it down (Prov. 14:1)… walking as the “NEW” creation He designed you to be through salvation (2 Cor. 5:17)… to be happy or not, to be at peace or not, to walk in joy or not, to enjoy the moment or not… the Choice is Yours.
You Have A Choice.
I love you and pray you have a blessed week. When opportunity arises for you to step out of peace or out of joy, remember You Get to Choose. You Have A Choice. I choose peace. I choose joy. For the kingdom of God is righteousness, PEACE and JOY in the Holy Spirit! (Rom. 14:17)
Dear Roger,
I can’t imagine anyone choosing to be in hell. I’d rather think of hell as where God banishes people he chooses to punish. But, is it true that everyone who is in hell actually has chosen to be there and God couldn’t save them? Can you help me make sense of how people end up in hell? Is hell a choice? Or, in other words, do those in hell choose to be there?
Thanks,
Steve
Dear Steve,
Ask anyone the question, “Would you choose to go to hell?” The answer is simple. “No.” No one with any understanding would ever choose to go to hell. However, by their choices and behaviors, hundreds are choosing hell every day.
Anyone who fails or chooses not to receive Christ has already made a choice to go there.
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not be believed in the name of God’s one and only son. – John 3:16-18 KJV
People choose hell for all kinds of reasons.
For example, some choose hell because they think that they’ve said “no” so many times that they couldn’t come to Christ even if they wanted to.
I received a call that grandpa was in the hospital dying of cancer. The entire family had pleaded with God for years for him to turn his heart to Jesus. However, he always said “No.”
“We’d like to make one more try. If we share the gospel again, we know that the words will fall on deaf ears. We’d like to try one more time from a different perspective. Would you please go to the hospital and share with him the gospel? He does not have much time.”
When I arrived, I found him sitting upright in the hospital bed.
“You’re their minister, aren’t you?” He continued. “I know why you’re here. They want you to try to lead me to Christ.”
“Yes, they’ve asked me to come one more time,” I replied.
“Okay then, go right ahead,” the patient said.
So, I shared the gospel as best I knew how, and then I said, “Would you like to receive Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior?”
He looked directly at me and said, “No. I think that I’ve said ‘no’ to Jesus so many times that I couldn’t become a Christian now even if I wanted to.”
By the way, you don’t want to go to hell.
The worst experiences of human existence cannot compare to the destruction that awaits those who’ve chosen hell.
And do not fear those who kill the body, but are unable to kill the soul; but rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell” – Matthew 10:28
And cast out the worthless slave into the outer darkness; in that place there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth – Matthew 8:11-12
So those people will go into eternal punishment, while the righteous will go into eternal life – Matthew 25:46
Please notice that experiencing hell is not a short time adventure. Hell is eternal.
And the devil, who deceived them, was thrown into the lake of burning sulfur, where the beast and the false prophet had been thrown. They will be tormented day and night for ever and ever. – Revelation 20:10
Let’s look at eight reasons why some choose hell:
1. They Think They’ve Found Something Better Than Jesus
My friend Charlie and I made a pact during our senior year in high school to visit each other’s churches. The first Sunday we went to my Baptist church and heard the gospel plainly and emotionally taught. Charlie was not impressed.
The next Sunday at Charlie’s Unitarian church I heard a “sermon” by the pastor in which he said that he would rather spend time in hell talking to great philosophers like Immanuel Kant, Friedrich Nietzsche, and Confucius than spend eternity talking to boring people in heaven like Moses and Abraham!
2. They Wait Until it’s Too Late to Get to Heaven
Just as people are destined to die once, and after that to face judgment… – Hebrews 9:27 NIV
But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness” – Hebrews 3:13 NIV
The writer to the Hebrews encouraged his people not to wait to give their hearts to Jesus! Today is the day of salvation! Tomorrow may be too late.
Early in church history, the Roman Catholic Church began teaching that if a person died with any unconfessed sins that those sins would keep them out of heaven. Some tried to time it just right before they died.
Unfortunately, some waited too long.
3. They Mistakenly Follow Someone Who’s Perverted the Gospel
Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ. But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach a gospel other than the one we preached to you, let him be eternally condemned! – Galatians 1:8-9 NIV
The gospel message is “Faith In Christ Plus Nothing Else Produces Salvation.” Salvation is all God’s work; it is not based on man’s achievements.
The Galatians tried to add becoming a Jew to be part of the gospel message. Cult leaders purposefully distort the message of Christ into a “gospel” that confuses people into following their leadership.
When Constantine, who ruled Constantinople in 327 A.D. became a Christian, he declared that all of his soldiers become Christians, too. He baptized them by marching them through a river completely immersed except for their arms and battle swords which they held over their heads and out of the water. He wanted to be sure they would still be able to fight!
4. They Don’t Think There Is a Hell
The fool says in his heart there is no God. – Psalm 14:1 KJV
Surveys consistently show that almost 73 % of Americans believe in heaven. On the other hand, only 32% of Americans believe there is a hell.
Agnostics believe that no one can know for certain whether or not there is a God.
Atheists declare by faith that there is no God.
Madeline Murray O’Hare and Richard Dawkins stand out as two of the prominent atheists of our time. Their stated goal in life was to expose Christianity as fraudulent. They failed miserably.
5. They Think More ‘Goods’ Than ‘Bads’ Is Enough
Unfortunately, no one is good enough. That’s why we need a Savior who will give us salvation if we ask for it.
At the Great White Throne of Judgment all of those who have chosen to go to hell for whatever reason are judged “according to their deeds” and are cast into the lake of fire (Revelation 20:11-15).
When I’m sharing the gospel, I find it interesting to ask people, “What do you think is the main theme of the Bible?” Their answers invariably revolve around the idea that the Bible teaches that if they are good enough, they can go to heaven.
And if anyone’s name was not found written in the book of life, he is thrown into the lake of fire and brimstone. – Revelation 20-15 KJV
Every person on earth begins life with their name in the Book of Life. If they die without receiving Christ, then their name is rubbed out of the book of life.
6. They’ve Heard the Gospel and Don’t Think It’s Important
I was attending a high school thespian meeting when the subject of the gospel arose. All of a sudden, I found myself sharing the gospel with 25 high-school actors and actresses. I noticed one girl, Linda, staring at me with eyes transfixed.
She was glued to my every word. Some decades later I received from her an e-mail asking if I remembered that day in our thespian meeting. “I just want you to know that I never forgot what you said that day and now it all makes sense. I’ve given my heart to Jesus. It’s the most important thing that’s ever happened to me.”
7. They Feel the Price of Following Jesus Is Too High
Jesus replied, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God – Luke 17:7
Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a German Lutheran pastor, who saw the “writing on the wall,” fled from Germany to England just before the commencement of World War II. However, it wasn’t long until he returned to Germany. He reasoned how could he minister to his flocks after the war if he’d run away from them during the war.
He wrote the immortal words: “When Jesus Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die.”
Just three days before the end of World War II he was hanged for his faith.
8. They’d Rather Joke about ‘the Man Upstairs’ Than Surrender Their Hearts to Jesus
So, what happens if you take it seriously, and purposely choose Christ? You can be of genuine good cheer.
Those who choose Christ are immediately ushered into His presence the moment they die.
The New Testament clearly declares that after Christ’s ascension, when believers die they go immediately to be with Christ.
I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far: but it is more necessary for you to remain in the body – Philippians 1:23-24 KJV
Therefore, we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord – 2 Corinthians 5:6-8 KJV
Steve, I hope this answers your question. Please feel free to ask me as many questions as you like.
Love, Roger
“Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you;
love her, and she will watch over you.” Proverbs 4:6
I am sure you have asked yourself many times why you keep making the same bad choice over and over again. I know I have! Recently, this happened to me; my schedule was so busy, and my husband and I had little time to rest. As a result, what was a very little issue on a phone call with someone we know turned into an explosive fight because of our bad assumptions and decisions. However, we eventually calmed down and analyzed the root causes of our choices, and how we could learn from the situation in order to avoid making the same wrong decisions over and over again.
In this week’s blog and podcast, I discuss the four main reasons we make bad decisions, how to stop making these decisions, how to become a proactive decision maker and how to re-train your brain to make better choices. There are two main parts to this process: first, understanding how to be a proactive decision-maker, and, second, recognizing the conditions under which bad decisions are generally made.
Let’s talk about being a proactive decision maker first:
We are thinking beings. As we think, we feel, and as we feel, we choose. We are literally doing this every 10 seconds in response to an incoming stream of signals from our environment. The signals are from people, discussions, social media, relationships, work, texts, calls emails, the news–life in general. This thinking, feeling and choosing response is our mind-in-action. It is filtered through the complexity of our own experiences—our stored memories. These memories move into the conscious mind in response to these signals of life, influencing our perceptions and worldview. They therefore need to be analyzed in a deliberate and intentional way to see if the perspective they provide is healthy or toxic.
We literally need to train ourselves to observe our thinking and feeling (in response to incoming information) and analyze them objectively before making a decision, otherwise we can fall prey to reactive and potentially harmful choices. This deliberate, intentional, self-regulative way of thinking is proactive, and the good news is that our brains will respond in a very healthy way if we practice doing this on a regular basis. In fact, when we do this we become smarter and wiser!
Part of this process is what I call “mental autopsy”: we examine our past bad decisions, deciding what our triggers were, what was wrong with how we reacted, what perspectives dominated our thinking, feeling and choosing, and how we can learn from these situations and react better in the future. Doing a mental-autopsy on past bad decisions will help prevent you from making the same mistakes again!
This kind of decision-making is very different to reactive decision-making, which is “shooting from the hip” and impulsive. You don’t analyze or learn from your mistakes, which can lead to a pattern of wrong decisions. This is what happened in my fight with my husband—we made assumptions because we did not take the time to examine our perceptions and our thinking, feeling and choosing. We let our emotions get the better of us, which made the situation worse! Indeed, making a decision on assumptions is one of the major reasons we make wrong decisions! It is always vital to ask yourself if what you are thinking is based on fact or based on your own assumptions, which are often mistaken.
So, how can you do this in your life? We have as humans the ability to stand back and observe our own thinking, feeling and choosing and existing upcoming memories, as well as the perspectives they provide, and weigh this all up and decide if it’s good for us—this is called our Multiple Perspective Advantage (MPA for short, which I discuss in my book Switch On Your Brain). As you do this, you become an objective observer, disassociating yourself from the situation you are in, almost as though you are helping someone else evaluate their thinking, feeling, choosing and perspective. In this way, you can analyze the pros and cons of how you are viewing a particular situation, and what the best next steps are.
Now, let’s review the conditions under which it is so easy to make a bad decision:
1. Making decisions when tired: the brain has limited energy and needs recharging. We do this through lifestyle choices like good nutrition and exercise, but, even more so, with good mind-management techniques. Our mind is infinite and tireless; our brains are finite and get tired. When tired, chemicals don’t flow like they should and the internal networks of the brain can get stuck or over-fire. This is akin to driving through a storm with broken wind screen wipers, which is what happened in the fight with my husband.
It is therefore so important that we take regular mental health breaks in the day in the form of “thinker moments”, where we daydream for a few moments to a few minutes – I recommend a minute or so every hour. These moments give your brain a rest and allow it to reboot and heal by letting your mind wander and daydream, which increases your clarity of thought and organizes the networks of your brain, rather than just letting toxic mindsets build up in the brain.
Also, make sure you take a decent break midday, control the number of hours you work in a day (as much as possible), take mental vacations by watching your favorite TV show or reading a good novel, and avoid burnout by listening to the emotional and physical warning signals your body send you.
2. Extreme emotions: emotions are physically represented in the brain as chemicals, which are often called “molecules of emotion”. They are attached to information that is vibrating in the protein tree-like memory structures of the brain. We create emotions as we think; if our thinking is chaotic, the thought trees in the brain are chaotic. These are like trees being blown in a bad storm, which can create brain damage and lead to bad choices because we won’t be thinking clearly.
When you find yourself in this kind of situation, it is best to do some breathing exercises, which dissipates cortisol and calms down your nervous system. You should also acknowledge out loud how you feel; differentiate, label and write your emotions down. Additionally, you can do a very simple physical exercise like tapping your feet, standing up and walking around for a few seconds, rotating your head, stretching or yawn to shift your focus from your own chaotic thinking and help calm you down. It is also important to let people know when you are feeling extreme emotions and cannot mentally make a decision right now—don’t try hide or suppress how you feel, as this will make things worse!
3. Distractions: these can lead to cognitive multitasking, which affects the flow of quantum and electromagnetic energy throughout our brain circuitry. This, in turn, can reduce intelligence in the moment…just when you need it to make a good decision! We need to recognize that although we as humans can do busy well, we also need to learn how to compartmentalize our tasks.
This doesn’t mean you have to slow down. Rather, you just have to get organized by saying things to yourself like “I can’t finish this now but will as soon as I am done sorting this problem…” or “I will make a note of where I am in this document and what I was thinking, so I can pick up here later…”. You can also tell people who need your attention to give you the time to finish what you are doing—don’t just be a “yes man”! This will help you compartmentalize, keeping things tidy in your mind and helping you prioritize what needs attention and what can wait. It’s a choice you have to make to not allow distractions to interrupt your flow. Remember, you control the distractions, the distractions don’t control you!
4. Too many choices at once: these are like too many surges of energy all hitting the brain at once, and can make you feel overwhelmed and stressed out. In many cases, this can lead to decision-making paralysis, or impulse choices that you will later regret.
The solution: take the time to sort out your thinking and your choices. You can do this by breathing in and out deeply, imagining holding up a shield around your mind, and then slowly focusing on each choice (one at a time) by writing them down as you speak out loud. Next, prioritize the top 2-3 options and toss the rest; force yourself to not look back at the other options, reminding yourself that even if you made the wrong decision, you learned something! Finally, set a deadline for making a decision.
“Now go and strike Amalek and devote to destruction all that they have. Do not spare them, but kill both man and woman, child and infant” (I Samuel 15:3).
“Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God” (Luke 18:16).
They are some of the hardest, most difficult sayings in scripture, the Old Testament commands for Israel to destroy entire people groups, even children. Yet, the same God who ordered the destruction of infants is the same God in the New Testament to encouraged the protection of children, even elevating them as examples of the kingdom of God. What is going on here?
There are heavy theological reasons to explain why these passages exist. But there isn’t enough time in a devotion like this to explain it. Instead, we look to God as sovereign. The God with the authority to destroy is the same God with the authority to save. And we should be thankful that he, in his mercy, has chosen to save us. “To to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God” (John 1:12). There is a difference between a military command to destroy and a command of personal behavior to preserve life. We don’t live in the age of destruction. It is commanded to us that we are to save.
Do you trust God with your future? Do you trust God with the future of humanity? If so, then ask yourself this question: do I trust God with the past? Do I really need God to answer every difficulty I have with scripture or can I trust him with the decisions he has made that eventually led to this point in history where I can trust God with my present and my future?
God is sovereign. That means that he has the right to do with his creation whatever it is that pleases him. And it pleases him to save us. And though that may not be the answer you are looking for to satisfy these difficulties in scripture, for now, let that be enough.
Memory Verse
“To all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God” (John 1:12).
Application
Let God’s love for you move you in how you treat the child and the infant. Advocate to save the unborn and to honor the aged. Look for opportunities to save rather than to ridicule or destroy.
“How do you know the will of God?” At every Campus Crusade Christmas Conference that was the title of the workshop that always drew standing room numbers. Because every Christian has wondered in the midst of crucial decisions if they were deciding in keeping with God’s will.
So how do you know the will of God? Before we answer the question we must discuss the question of the will of God. There are three distinctives to the will of God.
- There is God’s decretive will: It is also called the moral will of God. It is the Bible. Those things that God expressly forbids or allows. There is no decision on these things. One merely reads and obeys.
- Then there is the providential will of God. These are those things that God has allowed or caused to happen. We don’t make decisions on these things either. We only decide how we will respond to what has taken place. We trust then do what we can.
- And then there is what we shall call the non-moral will of God, or perhaps the right or left will of God as opposed to the right or wrong will. Some have called it the neutral will of God.
This is the decision that we fret over. It’s not moral. It’s not biblical. It’s a personal decision. There is no ordained sense of guidance. Can I be wrong? Culpable?
Should I take the job offer? Marry that Christian man or woman whom I truly love? Homeschool or private? Private or public? Buy this house? Have this surgery?
If there is revelatory guidance, how do I know it?
Am I responsible to find it? Are feelings my guide?
At what point am I free to make my “own” decisions? The restaurant I choose? My car?
Does God allow choices? Free ones? Does He still guide me in my direction?
So how do you make a right and left decision?
- Don’t worry about finding “the dot.” I’ll use the word “dot” as meaning “the specific revealed will of God.” God doesn’t ask us to find it and besides – how would you find it? Would you hear a voice or receive a sign or an angel appear or a dream? Or (and be honest – we’ve all done this), you would read your Bible and interpret whatever you read as leading you one way or the other. How about opening the Bible and sticking your finger down at random? Your Bible now becomes your tea leaves or runic stones or crystal ball. Your means of divination. Perhaps the biggest problem with trying to find “the dot” is that you’ll find it! You will interpretsomething as the will of God and that can be dangerous. All kinds of ignorance has been laundered this way. God certainly can speak audibly but that is what He can freely do, not what we are commanded to hear.
- Know that it’s ok to choose. Part of being Adam was that he acted freely as God gave him the freedom. Whatever he named the animal that it was. He was to subdue, cultivate, and rule as he saw fit. God gave him direction and boundaries but within them Adam was free. It’s ok. You’re not proud in choosing or disobedient or self-willed. You are a redeemed human, a mature son or daughter of God. You’ve had your Bar-Mitzvah through Christ. You can choose. Robots do not glorify God, sons do. NO one in scripture is ever punished for making a neutral or non-moral decision. Halted or redirected maybe, but never judged.
- Check your motive: “All a man’s ways are right in his sight but God weighs to motives.” (Proverbs). Why do you want what you want?
- Check your heart: The burden of the heart is a very real and good thing. The Book of Nehemiah says that Nehemiah told no one what “God had laid upon my heart.” Paul spoke of his longing to come to Rome and his desire to go to Spain. God gives us “the desires of our hearts” as we trust Him. He “wills and works” in us for His good pleasure. He can produce a longing.
A point needs to be clarified here.Paul said, “All those led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.”
(Romans 8:14) But the leading of God’s Spirit is toward morality and conduct not in an extra-biblical knowledge. People often misapply this verse to support God’s special knowledge through the Spirit instead of His guiding in conduct.
- Ask around: “Where there is an abundance of counselors there is victory. (Proverbs) Others who have walked the paths of life have made many of the same decisions. You may find your decision is a lot more black and white than you thought.
- Pray for the providence of God: Though God lets us choose still He guides us. We are given the privilege to choose but we are not at the mercy of our choices. Paul longed to go to Rome but God prevented him because He had more immediate purposes. (Romans 15:20-22). We perceive in the scripture God’s purposes and pleasure then we plan, long, act and choose as we prayerfully trust His headship. He can say “yes, no or later.”
- Make certain you are obeying God in the things He has revealed so you can be guided in what He has not:
“Being in the way the Lord led me.” (Psalms)
“Walk before Me and I will establish My covenant with you.” (Genesis 17)
Are you in church, walking in purity, honoring God financially, in subjection in the areas God calls you to submission? God doesn’t steer parked cars. Faithful folks will always be led.
The girl I dated for four years was a sweet girl but I had developed a new direction in the things of the Great Commission. I felt, reasoned, and surmised from what I read and from the counsel of three older men that she was the right girl, but for another man. I heard no voice from heaven but made a choice. I met Teresa and made another decision. (The fact that her father owned his own oil company meant nothing.) I chose as wisely as I could and God directed me.
· I chose to do evangelism living hand to mouth for one year. God blessed the choice.
· I chose to be a college director at a Methodist church. God blessed the choice.
· I felt the need for deeper knowledge so I chose to go to Dallas Theological Seminary. They said no to the degree program I chose but I had reasons for doing the two year rather than the four. I continued to press – they said yes. God has blessed it. No voices, just guidance.
· The Methodist job shut down and I had three choices. Methodist, Baptist or a young Bible Church meeting in the Optimist Gym. I felt and surmised from my doctrinal position and the counsel of good men to go with Denton Bible. I did. God blessed it.
My wife and I have made decisions on birth control, home schooling, home buying, our son’s college direction, our son’s military desires, caring for parents and on and on. I have never heard the voice of God nor have I sought for it. God did not call me to be mystic or robotic but to be wise, well read, prayerful – and a man – assertive, of sanctified willfulness, initiating – and trusting His guidance without hesitation or apology.
So . . . relax.
Do right, be free, be strong, be wise . . . then trust.
www.dbc.org. Used by permission.
While I doubt anyone this side of Heaven will ever manage to fully “explain” how God’s sovereignty and human choice fully fit together, I believe Scripture provides us with many examples of how the two work symbiotically.
For example, Paul called himself not only a “servant” of God but also a “fellow worker” with God (1 Corinthians 3:9; see also Titus 1:1). While Paul never lost sight of God’s sovereignty, he also recognized himself as God’s partner in the work of the gospel (see 2 Corinthians 6:1; see also 1 Peter 4:13). (These are the kinds of passages that emboldened me to title my book, on the topic of God’s sovereignty and meaningful human choice, hand in Hand.)
Paul made his evangelistic plans (see Romans 1:13; 15:24; 2 Corinthians 1:15–17), often in line with his personal preference for pioneering work (see Romans 15:20). And yet he held those plans loosely, always submitting them to God’s sovereign plan (see Acts 16:1–10). In this way, both Paul and God made choices that altered world history.
When the prophet Elisha lay dying, King Jehoash of Israel came to see him. The meeting took place at a time when the people of Aram were severely “oppressing” the Israelites. Without explaining himself, Elisha instructed the king to take some arrows out of his quiver and strike the ground with them. The king obeyed, but feebly; he stopped after just three strikes. The angry prophet responded, “You should have struck the ground five or six times; then you would have defeated Aram and completely destroyed it. But now you will defeat it only three times” (2 Kings 13:18–19). Jehoash’s halfhearted choice meant the difference between temporary victory and total triumph—a very consequential difference.
Consider Daniel’s long prayer of confession (see Daniel 9:4–19). He’d read the book of Jeremiah and saw that the seventy years prophesied for Israel’s exile had almost come to an end. Had some of us been in Daniel’s place, we would have exclaimed, “Bring it on, Lord!” But not Daniel. He got down on his knees and prayed one of the Bible’s longest prayers, asking God to restore Israel to her land—exactly what God said He would do.
It seems that Daniel had a different idea of “sovereignty” than many of us do. All too often, those ideas make us passive, but they launched Daniel into a fervent period of activity and focused prayer.
Would Daniel have received the remarkable prophecy of verses 20–27 if he hadn’t prayed the remarkable prayer of verses 4–19? (We’re told in verse 23 that God dispatched Gabriel, His messenger angel, only after Daniel started praying.) Did God’s response to Daniel’s prayer constitute a change in the way God fulfilled Jeremiah’s prophecy? Who knows?
When I think of the examples of Paul, Elisha, and Daniel, I can’t help but marvel at the beauty of the unequal but real partnerships forged when we submit our choices to God and walk hand in Hand—His the strong and sovereign Hand lovingly reaching down, ours the weak hand eagerly reaching up.
www.epm.org. Used by permission.
Several years ago, I watched a documentary about a bull elephant—the type you can see at a circus—and I learned a valuable lesson that has stuck with me ever since. As I watched the program, I was amazed by the elephant’s formidable frame and intimidating tusks—whose presence causes would-be-offenders to back off—a similar response occurs when my husband struts the beach with his shirt off!
But what intrigued me the most about this bull elephant was the fact that it was limited by a ball and chain which was fastened on one of its rear legs. Whenever this massive elephant would walk a few feet, it would feel the tug of the chain, stop, and go no further. This occurred several times. The bull elephant would walk, feel the tug of the chain, then it would stop and go no further. Baffled, I wondered, “Doesn’t this elephant know that it has the strength to break out from its chain and go on a rampage?”
To my relief, the trainer explained the dilemma. When the bull elephant was young, circus trainers had placed a chain around its leg that was attached to a weighted ball buried in the ground. Initially, the young elephant would attempt to break free once it felt the tug of the chain, but because of its lack of strength, it failed. Sadly, as time passed and the elephant grew, it was conditioned to believe that the limitations placed upon it by the ball and chain were as far as it could ever go. Because the elephant failed to realize its strength and accepted defeat, it lived far below its potential.
Does this sound familiar to you?
Unknowingly, some of us can be like that bull elephant—conditioned by the limits placed on us by ourselves or others. Maybe you’ve grown up believing that you’ll never amount to much, or perhaps you’ve worn labels such as “failure”, “stupid”, “ugly” or “not good enough.” These are all lies from the enemy in an attempt to diminish you!
Have you tolerated defeat long enough that it has become a way of life? You may not be bound to a ball and chain, but you find yourself bound to other things that hold you back. Perhaps you’ve stepped out in obedience to God only to feel the tug of fear, insecurity, or inadequacy, and allowed them to stop you in your tracks?
If that’s you, then it’s time to stop making excuses for your captivity and loosen yourself from your chains. God did not save you to tame you! In Christ, you have all the strength you need to rise up, break free and live in victory. I love the advice Isaac gave his son Esau:
“But when you decide to break free, you will shake his yoke from your neck” (Genesis 27:40 NLT).
Notice Isaac did not say, “When God thinks it’s the right time for you to be free, He’ll take the yoke off you.” Nor did he say, “When God decides you have suffered enough, He will remove the yoke from you.” In fact, God is not even mentioned in this verse. Other translations say it this way, “But when you can’t take it anymore you’ll break loose and run free” (MSG); “But [the time shall come] when you will grow restive and break loose, and you shall tear his yoke from off your neck” (AMPC).
Paraphrased, this verse could read, “When you’ve had enough, you will throw off your bondage. When you’ve stopped blaming everyone else . . . when you stop feeling sorry for yourself . . . when you no longer look back . . . when you stop blaming God . . . when you are finally frustrated with the limitations of your yoke. . . when you are tired enough to get mad, then you’ll break free.”
Precious daughter, your freedom begins with a decision. A decision is not a wish, but a resolute commitment to a course of action. Understand that what you tolerate will never change. When you justify a behavior, you buy into that behavior. But you don’t have to live that way any longer—freedom and victory are within your grasp. Now, what are you going to do about it?
Excuses have never set anyone free!
If you’re tired of living below your potential and want to break free from self-imposed limitations, then it’s time to renew your mind and live in freedom!
www.messengerinternational.org. Used by permission.
We have established that there are abundant references to instrumental music in the Old Testament, specifically in the Psalms and under the Davidic tradition of worship, but what about the New Testament? Some denominations claim that there are no references to worship with instruments in the New Testament, and since we are under the New Covenant, we should not use instruments in Christian worship, but is this really true? Let’s look closer, by examining two familiar New Testament worship passages, which are pillar three in the Biblical foundations of instrumental music in worship.
“Speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord;” (Ephesians 5:19)
“Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God.” (Colossians 3:16)
Notice that both of these passages encourage the use of psalms in worship, and what have we learned in pillar one about the use of the Psalms? Many of them are associated with the use of musical instruments, either through the psalm headings or direct references in the text. The most notable one is Psalm 150, with its reference to all four families of instruments. Through this link to the Psalms, we see that both these passages contain an implied reference to the use of instruments in worship.
As we look a little closer at the latter half of Ephesians 5:19, we discover an even more direct reference to using instruments in worship. The apostle Paul, who wrote both Ephesians and Colossians, says that we should sing and “make melody” with our heart to the Lord. The Greek word, translated “make melody” in the NASB, is psallo. The original meaning of this word is “to pluck the strings of an instrument.” In fact, one of the most respected commentators on the book of Ephesians, Markus Barth, translates this verse, “Talk to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and play to the Lord from your heart.” This is more than just an implied reference to instrumental music; it almost sounds like a direct command to praise God with instruments!
Finally, let us examine the context of the verse in Colossians, by looking at the verse that follows it, Colossians 3:17: “And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.”
Whatever you do, including playing an instrument, can and should be done in the name of the Lord Jesus, with a thankful heart.