Yesterday, I HAD ENOUGH. Have you ever HAD ENOUGH? You roll with the punches, keep up the good fight, be the little engine that could…until you can’t. ENOUGH is ENOUGH.
I have a severe immunodeficiency, and I’ve been struggling with lung infections since early December. They wear me out! Breathing is really important. And for me, it takes weeks of breathing treatments, steroids, and antibiotics for my lungs to decide to move air again. I’m finally getting some air, and my body decides a migraine would be a great idea. So would extreme nausea. I haven’t kept food down—except for Jell-O or bread—in four days.
Then the internet went down. With four video calls on my docket. I’m applying for a doctoral program, and my transcript request was denied because I messed up a number in my student ID from 15 years ago. And then? The last straw? We. Ran. Out. Of. Apple. Juice.
ENOUGH doesn’t always hit at the most important moment. Just the most inopportune.
I proceeded to turn into a slavering hyena, biting the heads off of everyone in my vicinity. Mom, I AM FINE. No, I don’t want soup. EVER AGAIN. Dad, I DON’T CARE what we watch on TV. No internet means commercials. I hate commercials. Brad (my sweet husband), LOOK OUT! I’ve had the worst day. No, I don’t want a hug. I don’t want you to be nice to me. I’VE HAD ENOUGH.
I decided it would be best for everyone if I removed my lovely self from their presence. So, I did the obvious thing. I hid in the bathroom. Small space = containment.
Angry, frustrated, and exhausted doesn’t cover it. But I only know one way to deal with ENOUGH. And that’s to place it in the hands of the One who holds exploding stars. He is big enough, loving enough, and patient enough to deal with my ENOUGH. Plus, you can tell Him when you’re angry, frustrated, and exhausted. He already knows! He can take it.
It’s not a sin to have feelings. It’s a sin to act on them in a way that hurts other people. My dad always says, “Hurting people hurt people.” He’s absolutely right.
So, pour out the hurt. Holler at God. Tell Him all about your ENOUGH. Get out the pain.
Then ask Him to fill you with His peace. Accept that He is in control. Verbally place all your frustrations and needs in His hands.
Now, go rest. ENOUGH takes a lot out of you physically, mentally, and emotionally. You need to recharge. Make the time.
I slept hard last night, but I’m still pretty empty. So, after doing the work I have to do today, I’ll take some time to read, nap, and just chill. Gotta keep ENOUGH at bay, you know?
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. (2 Corinthians 1:3-5 NIV)