The Proverbs 31 Husband

by Drew Anderson

Nestled in the last chapter of the book of Proverbs are three elements that provide insight as to how a godly man (husband) invests in his relationship with his wife and with his society.

(1) A godly man trusts his wife…

“The heart of her husband trusts in her…” – Proverbs 31:11a

  • When my wife and I first got married, we realized very quickly our differences in handling money. It was our first reality check on how different our approaches to certain things could be. We had heard that that type of thing happened in marriage, and we now had experienced it first hand.
  • It took some time, but we worked through our differences. Sure, there are times when the differences spring up, but we’ve learned to smooth them out through communication.

What tipped the scales in smoothing out the disagreements?


I realized that my wife needed more than anything for me to trust her as she handled the money. When I began to trust her with every penny, her little pedals began to blossom and she began to flourish.

Finances are only one area where a husband can trust his wife. However, the principle is still the same.

  • As a husband, I am walking in a godly biblical manner when I trust my wife.

(2) A godly man has a good reputation with outsiders…

“Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.” – Proverbs 31:23

  • The Proverb’s 31 man…the biblical man…has a good reputation with outsiders in so much as he has earned the right to speak into matters of importance and responsibility. It doesn’t mean he has to run for city council, but when it comes to decisions that carry weight in the lives of others, he is sought out for counsel.
  • The apostle Paul instructs Timothy as he is placing elders in the church to make sure they have a good reputation with outsiders. He goes on further to guide the church at Colossae to “Conduct yourselves with wisdom toward outsiders, making the most of the opportunity. Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person.” Colossians 4:5-6
  • A good reputation comes through many things, but most specifically:
    • a life of moral character
    • the sacrifice of time, treasure, and talent
    • a disposition of humility coupled with resolve

(3) A godly man verbally encourages his wife…

“Her husband also, and he praises her, saying: “Many daughters have done nobly, but you excel them all.”” – Proverbs 31:28b-29

  • One of the challenges for a man is expressing on a regular basis his appreciation for his spouse. Some men think that if they expressed their appreciation at the beginning of the year, then it will be enough to carry their wife until the end of the year. It’s just not so.
  • A godly Proverbs 31 man praises his wife. It’s a continual initiative that he makes to invest in their relationship.
  • Moreover, his praise is distinct and penetrates the heart of his wife… He ensures that his wife knows that she (above every other woman) is first in his eyes…first in his thoughts…first in his devotion.
  • How many marriages need a husband who verbally expresses not only the praises of his wife, but regularly lets her know of her primary position above every other woman in his eyes?

May we, the husbands of our culture, be men who walk in similar ways to the Proverbs 31 man.

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