Porn addiction is a man’s vice! Or is it? We know sexual voyeurism has exploded in today’s society. Approximately forty million people in the United States are sexually involved with the internet. Seventy-two million internet users visit pornography web sites per year.
Here’s the real shocker. Pastors surveyed say fifty-seven percent of their congregations are imprisoned in the vice of pornography addiction.
Thirty-four percent of churchgoing women said they have intentionally visited porn websites online. Over nine million women access adult websites each month, and one out of every six women grapples with addiction to pornography.3
Porn destroys relationships. No, that’s an understatement! Pornography obliterates sexual intimacy and wreaks hellish havoc on marriages. Forty-two percent of surveyed adults indicated that their partner’s use of pornography made them feel insecure. Forty-one percent of surveyed adults admitted they felt less attractive due to their partner’s pornography use and thirty percent of surveyed adults said their partner’s use of pornography made them feel more like a sexual object.
God created sex as a beautiful expression of intimacy between a man and a woman, and turns it into a destructive weapon, a deadly infection in our society that has become an epidemic. (Romans 6:19)
Why do women get hooked on porn?
Cybersex becomes a form of escape, a default activity a woman turns to whenever she feels hurt, anxious or bored. Insecurity, poor self-image and a deep need for emotional intimacy are just a few of the reasons women resort to finding sexual satisfaction on their computers, televisions or cell phones. Men and women fall prey to the same pattern of exposure, addiction, and desensitization to increasingly hardcore images.
The porn addict can experience sexual satisfaction without an emotional investment in a relationship. A “hit” from porn, a dopamine-oxytocin high, is often likened to the same sensation as a “hit” of heroine. The main contrast between male and female porn addicts is how much more guilty women feel. “Porn addiction is seen as a man’s problem – and therefore not acceptable for women. There’s a real sense among women that it’s bad, dirty, wrong and they’re often unable to get beyond that.”5
So how do we wrestle and tame the beast that attacks the hearts and minds of men, women and (would you believe it) children?
I believe we must recognize the role of Satan in enslaving us. I would point to three primary reasons, each of them demonic in origin.
First, I would say that the demons know how powerfully addictive and destructive porn can be. Therefore, they actively tempt people into a sin that will be an ongoing hindrance to their relationship with God.
Second, the demons love using pornography to create guilt and shame in a person, event to the point that the person doubts God’s love for him/her and questions his/her salvation. Third, the demons know the value God places on marriage and family. The demons can produce multi-generational damage on a family through one person’s addiction to pornography.
Yes, Satan and his demonic forces make sinful temptations more powerful, and may cause us to “visit those dangerous places” more frequently than our sinful flesh would on its own. But, we cannot blame our sinful choices on Satan. Satan and his demons cannot force us to do anything. In 1 Corinthians 10:13, God assures us that we will not be tempted beyond what we are able to resist, and God’s grace and power can give us the strength to overcome.
So what does the Bible say about gaining victory over this addiction?
Confess your sin to Jesus.
1 John 1:9 states:
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us oursins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” NKJV
If the constant use of pornography dominates and defines your life, you may not have invited Jesus into your life. When Christ comes into your life you become a new creature.
Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 6:9-10:
“Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.” ESV
Renew your thought life.
(Romans 12:2) Purposefully saturate your life with God’s Word and keep busy with wholesome activities. Don’t allow yourself to be caught with long hours of time unsupervised and alone.
Philippians 4:8 encourages us:
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” NIV
Commit your body to God daily, even hourly. Picture yourself laying every desire at His feet.
Paul writes in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4:
“For this is the will of God, your sanctification:that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor…” ESV
If you are married, discuss this issue openly with your spouse and seek to satisfy your God-given desires with the partner Christ gave you. Many spouses need marriage counseling to deal with physical intimacy issues.
Don’t fight addiction alone! Engage the help of a Christian counselor. Alcoholics have support groups and “sober companions.” Find a Christian friend(s) and prayer partner(s) who will stay with you at your most vulnerable times and keep you accountable. Take practical steps to reduce your exposure to graphic images. Install pornography blockers on your computer, limit television and video usage. Wonderful Christian ministries like Celebrate Recovery may be found in most major cities.6
God can and will give you spiritual victory. Don’t be discouraged. Seek help now.
1Exposing Porn: Science, Religion, and the New Addiction, Paul Strand. Christian Broadcasting Network, 2004.
2Pornography Statistics 2003. Internet Filter Review. www.internetfilterreview.com, 2003.
3Internet porn a guy thing? Not really, online rating service says, Mark O’Keefe. The Charlotte Observer.
4www.dirtygirlsministries.com.
5British Association of Counseling and Psychotherapy. http://www.bacp.co.uk/.
6 www.celebraterecovery.com/find-a-group/
For more helpful information, go to www.gotquestions.org: Pornography?
