I Can’t Measure Up to the Proverbs 31 Woman!

by Lysa TerKeurst

Do you ever get that sinking feeling of not quite measuring up at the mention of the Proverbs 31 woman?

Me too.

I remember when I first read this chapter many years ago as a young wife and mom. I thought the Proverbs 31 woman was overwhelmingly perfect.

And as I’ve walked through a season of extreme hardship in my marriage over the last few years, I’ve found myself not just intimidated by Proverbs 31 but defeated by this wife whose marriage seems full of praises. Even good marriages don’t always have such shiny realities.

That’s why my heart feels especially tender toward those who would rather skip over Proverbs chapter 31. I know what it’s like to have these words sit heavy on your heart with a resounding declaration of “not enough.”

But what if I told you that the heart behind Proverbs 31:10-31 is one of celebration, not condemnation?

The first thing I want us to take note of is that this isn’t just a chapter about a wife of noble character, despite how your Bible titles verses 10-31. It’s a chapter about a woman of valor. A courageous woman. A woman of strength and dignity.

In Jewish culture, these verses are read out loud on the Sabbath as a celebration over the women. This is in no way condemning what they aren’t but celebrating how they are, in their own unique expressions, living out the virtues detailed in this chapter. These aren’t words meant to tell a woman she is supposed to be more. They are a celebration of who she is.

Isn’t that the way it should be?

Courageous women celebrating each other … and those they love celebrating them? All under the banner of honoring God, serving out of love, and smiling at the future. Yes, this is why I love Proverbs 31 and rejoice that our ministry is named after such uplifting Scriptures.

I also love how Proverbs 31:30 reminds us of what’s truly worth celebrating: “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.”

Notice it’s not a woman with a spotless house who is to be praised. It’s not the mom with perfectly behaved children wearing matching, designer outfits. Honestly, it’s not even the woman who’s married and has children.

A woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. This isn’t an “I’m afraid of God” kind of fear. This type of fear refers to having a heart completely in awe of God. It describes a woman who honors God by seeking Him in everything she does and trusting Him wholeheartedly with her life. She has a heart of reverence that overflows into a life of spiritual maturity and wisdom.

And let’s not forget to look at today’s verses within the context of why God gave us this book of the Bible. The very first chapter of Proverbs tells us it exists so we can gain wisdom, instruction, understanding, insight, knowledge, discretion and guidance (as seen in Proverbs 1:1-7). Proverbs 2:1-5 goes on to remind us that as we receive and apply God’s commands, we’ll be able to understand how to find the knowledge of the Lord.

Wisdom is both a gift from God and a process of learning. And Proverbs 2:10 tells us the benefit of this kind of wisdom: It will be pleasant to your soul as it enters your heart.

I know this is a passage of Scripture that can easily trip us up. But what if we take God at His Word and choose to believe these words hold good and pleasant things for us? What if we challenge ourselves to look at Proverbs 31 closely — to see which part of it is a gift to us and which verses we need to learn from? What if we speak these words over ourselves and the other women in our lives as a form of celebration instead of condemnation?

God tucked these words into His Word for all eternity, sweet friends. And that tells me they are needed and meant for our good. Let’s ask Him to help us learn from them today.

Father God, thank You for this beautiful picture You painted in the pages of Scripture. Help me receive these words from You as a gift. Help me hear them spoken over my own life with Your voice of love. And show me how to live them out, according to the unique way You purposefully designed me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.


Proverbs 31:25, “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.” (NIV)


Is there any part of your life that isn’t turning out the way you thought it would? Find the scriptural encouragement and help you need with Lysa TerKeurst’s newest book, It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way. Order here today.

With Mother’s Day and graduation just around the corner, take time to remind those closest to you of their identity in Christ with products from our Spring Celebrations collection. Find gifts with meaning and purpose during this season of celebrating. Head to p31bookstore.com, to find the perfect gift.

www.proverbs31.org.  Used by permission. 

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