How Do You Know If You Are Angry?
Paul writes in Ephesians 4:26: “In your anger do not sin” Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,” James says, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”
Anger is a part of our human nature, but it can be toxic. Often, we do not realize that we are truly angry. God would have us to identify our angry feelings, confess them as sin and move from anger to forgiveness. How do you know if you are angry? Dr. Ted Roberts created a test to help you identify those feelings and process them in a godly way:
Please take some time to evaluate your reactions and responses for situations that may result in
anger. Is each statement true or false for you? Circle your answers.
T F 1. I concern myself with others’ opinions of me more than I would like to admit.
T F 2. It is not unusual for me to have a restless feeling on the inside.
T F 3. I have had relationships with others that could be described as stormy or unstable.
T F 4. It seems like I end up helping others more than they help me.
T F 5. I sometimes wonder how much my friends or family members accept me.
T F 6. At times, I seem to have an unusual amount of guilt even though it seems unnecessary.
T F 7. At times, I prefer to get away rather than being around people.
T F 8. I realize I don’t like to admit to myself how angry I feel.
T F 9. Sometimes I use humor to avoid facing my feelings or to keep others from knowing how I really feel.
T F 10. I have a problem with thinking too many critical thoughts.
T F 11. Sometimes I can use criticism in a biting way.
T F 12. I have known moments of great tension and stress.
T F 13. Sometimes when I feel angry, I find myself doing things I know are wrong.
T F 14. I like having times when no one knows what I am doing.
T F 15. I usually don’t tell people when I feel hurt.
T F 16. At times, I wish I had more friends.
T F 17. I find myself having many body aches and pains.
T F 18. I had trouble in the past relating to members of the opposite sex.
T F 19. Criticism bothers me a great deal.
T F 20. I desire acceptance from others but fear rejection.
T F 21. I worry a lot about my relationships with others.
T F 22. I believe I am somewhat socially withdrawn.
T F 23. I believe I am overly sensitive to rejection.
T F 24. I find myself preoccupied with my personal goals for success.
T F 25. I have often felt inferior to others.
T F 26. Often I say “yes” and am upset at myself for not saying “no.”
T F 27. Even though I don’t like it, there are times when I wear a mask in social settings.
T F 28. I don’t seem to have the emotional support I would like from my family and friends.
T F 29. I would like to tell people exactly what I think.
T F 30. My concentration sometimes seems poor.
T F 31. I have had sleep patterns that do not seem normal.
T F 32. I worry about financial matters.
T F 33. There are times I feel inadequate in the way I handle personal relationships.
T F 34. My conscience bothers me about things I have done in the past.
T F 35. Sometimes it seems my religious life is more of a burden than a help.
T F 36. There are times that I would like to run away from home.
T F 37. I have had too many quarrels or disagreements with members of my family.
T F 38. I have been disillusioned with love.
T F 39. Sometimes I have difficulty controlling my weight, whether gaining or losing too much.
T F 40. At times, I feel that life owes me more than it has given me.
T F 41. I have a challenge controlling sexual fantasies.
T F 42. To be honest, I prefer to find someone else to blame my problems on.
T F 43. My greatest struggles are within myself.
T F 44. Other people find more fault with me than they really should.
T F 45. Many of the nice things I do are done out of a sense of obligation.
T F 46. Many mornings I wake up not feeling refreshed.
T F 47. I find myself saying things that I shouldn’t have said.
T F 48. It is not unusual for me to forget someone’s name after I have just met them.
T F 49. It is difficult for me to motivate myself to do things that don’t need to be done.
T F 50. My decisions are often governed by my feelings.
T F 51. When something irritates me I find it hard to calm down quickly.
T F 52. I would rather stay at home and isolate than be with other women socially.
T F 53. I would rather watch a good sporting event than spend a quiet evening at home.
T F 54. I am hesitant for people to give me suggestions even though they are good.
T F 55. I tend to speak out whether someone wants to know my opinions or not.
T F 56. I would rather entertain guests in my own home than be entertained by them.
T F 57. When people are being unreasonable, I tend to take a strong dislike to them.
T F 58. I am a fairly strict person, liking things to be done in a particular way.
T F 59. I consider myself to be possessive in my personal relationships.
T F 60. Sometimes I could be described as moody.
GUIDE TO THE ANGER TEST
How many of the 60 statements did you mark True? ________
What your score indicates (your total number of statements marked True ) about you and anger:
1-15 Extremely healed or in denial
15-30 Normal range
30-40 Needs or circumstances are pressing
40+ Needs help through counseling for trauma or specific issues
It is not unusual for women going through a Betrayal & Beyond group to score 30 and above, depending
upon the level of trauma they have experienced through their betrayal. Other areas of hurt and trauma
of the past that haven’t been processed can also cause a higher score.
The numbers below reflect statements that deal with boundary issues . They indicate times when you
might be overreacting or underreacting to situation.
4 6 7 11 13 15 18 26 29 33 33 38 45 47 50 56 58
How many of the 16 boundary statements did you mark True? ________
The numbers below reflect statements that deal with self-esteem issues . Unresolved hurts from the
past can create insecure responses in the present.
1 5 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 27 43 53 54
How many of the 13 self-esteem statements did you mark True? ________