Five Questions to Ask when Thinking about Divorce
During the global pandemic we’ve endured the past year, 31% of those divorcing say the lockdown caused their divorce or certainly contributed to it. Statistically, divorces are up 34% percent compared to last year, before COVID-19 hit.
Divorce is a life-changing decision. You may be happily married, not thinking about divorce and believe this topic does not relate to you, but it does. I’ll share with you five questions people need to ask before they make a decision, in this case, divorce. God might use you to provide it as a helpful resource to pass along to someone you know who could greatly benefit from it.
Paul says in Galatians 6:7 that we are not to be deceived because God cannot be mocked. A man will reap what he sows. Paul’s words serve as a reminder that for every decision we make, there are consequences.
For those of you who might be thinking about divorce, before you do, please ask yourself these five questions. (In fact, with any major decision you’re going to make – about money, retirement, your health, changing jobs or any number of other important decisions, these same questions apply.)
1. What will this divorce cost me?
Every decision you make has a cost associated with it. When you think about the cost of divorce, consider the impact on your children, finances, peace of mind and direction in your life.
2. Is this the only and best decision?
In the case of divorce, it may be that the better decision would be to separate for a time. It may be to seek counseling for yourself, to take a break or to confront an issue. There may be other options available than simply divorcing. That’s not always the case, but when it is, you’ve got to ask that question and answer it.
3. Is this the right time to make this decision?
We’re still in a global pandemic, and it’s a very stressful time. It’s vital to be very careful about the decisions you make right now. I had a medical procedure not too long ago, and they gave me something to put me out for the procedure. The nurse said, “Remember, don’t make any important decisions today, because your thinking will be slightly altered.” She was right. That’s true during this pandemic, as well.We’ve all been slightly altered as a result of the fear, worry and anxiety.It’s constant in our lives more than you realize.
4. What are the unintended consequences of this decision?
Often when we decide, in this case about divorce, we can forget about the unintended consequences for our children, finances, health or even our future. We can become so focused on the immediate pain, and we consider almost anything to must make it go away.
Researchers report – even when couples are really struggling, if they’re willing to hang on, get counseling and they’re both committed to working on the marriage – the vast majority of them report years later the best decision they made was to hang in there and work on their marriage.
5. Will this decision violate God’s intention for my life?
We believe God’s intention is for a man and woman to be married for a lifetime, but that doesn’t always happen. It’s not a matter of shame; it’s reality. God is a God of forgiveness and restoration, and if you are in a second marriage, you know the pain associated with a marriage that hasn’t worked, and hopefully know the joy of the marriage you’re in. While God is a healer, and will restore, it’s also His intention to help us make our marriage work.
If you’re wrestling with the idea of getting out of your marriage, will you please ask yourself these five questions and prayerfully go to God with your answers?