Refusing to be offended – Matthew 15:21-28
Once I went on a mission trip to Pakistan, and when we arrived our missionary host sat us down for a quick cultural orientation. Ironically, most of his instructions were aimed at me, the woman in the group. I was asked to dress in the traditional Pakistani clothes which was fine with me. The kameez is a long tunic top and the shalwar is the draw-string baggy trousers worn underneath the kameez. At least I didn’t have to wear a burka.
The next instructions the missionary gave me were surprising though, “When we are out in public never speak to or smile at a man, or you will be considered a prostitute. When we are with Christians that will be different because they will know you are an American and don’t know better.” As I listened to his words I felt like someone had asked me stop breathing. I learned on this trip that intentionally or not, I smile a lot.
Many cultural restrictions are placed on women in this part of the world. Some men in the middle-east won’t even speak to the women in their families while they are out in public. Another cultural-norm that spills into today’s biblical story is how middle easterners value community over individual rights. Remember Jesus has a community of people who are literally following him around. So, when Jesus encounters this woman he is not just concerned with her needs he is also concerned about his disciples’ spiritual development.
Why is it important to consider middle-eastern culture when reading the scriptures? The stories in the Bible are embedded with cultural significance. If we only read a passage with our western lenses we will miss many nuisances. If we don’t know the cultural-norms we also, could be offended by Jesus initial treatment of this woman in this story. Look at Matthew 15:21-28 and let’s begin exploring.
21 When Jesus left there, he withdrew to the area of Tyre and Sidon. 22 Just then a Canaanite woman from that region came and kept crying out, “Have mercy on me, Lord, Son of David! My daughter is severely tormented by a demon.”
23 Jesus did not say a word to her. His disciples approached him and urged him, “Send her away because she’s crying out after us.”
24 He replied, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.”
25 But she came, knelt before him, and said, “Lord, help me!”
26 He answered, “It isn’t right to take the children’s bread and throw it to the dogs.”
27 “Yes, Lord,” she said, “yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table.”
28 Then Jesus replied to her, “Woman, your faith is great. Let it be done for you as you want.” And from that moment her daughter was healed. CSB
Why do you think that Jesus went to this region in modern day Lebanon? At this time large crowds seem to follow him wherever he goes. Traveling outside of Israel might have been an attempt to get some rest, and be anonymous. But, this desperate woman recognizes Jesus and she starts calling out for his help. It seems her initial recognition annoys the disciples because Jesus’ attitude toward her mirrors those thoughts. Remember, it is culturally unacceptable to talk to a woman in public and if you are Jewish you certainly don’t talk to a Canaanite woman in public. Why would Jesus give a voice to his disciples’ prejudices? Have you ever had an ugly thought and you didn’t realize how awful it sounded until it was voiced out loud?
To cultivate a heart that avoids offense, we must let Jesus expose our prejudices. In the disciples’ eyes this woman had two strikes against her, her race and her gender. The disciples knew Jesus was the Jewish Messiah, and at this point in their history they couldn’t imagine Jesus would care about this woman. They wanted a military leader who would overthrow Rome’s occupation of Israel. So consequently, they expected him to have no empathy for this Gentile or her dire needs. But, what did God want? What did God always want?
If we go back to the Abrahamic covenant given to Abraham in Genesis 12:1-3 there are two promises given to Abraham and his descendants.
The Lord said to Abram:
Go from your land,
your relatives,
and your father’s house
to the land that I will show you.
2 I will make you into a great nation,
I will bless you,
I will make your name great,
and you will be a blessing.
3 I will bless those who bless you,
I will curse anyone who treats you with contempt,
and all the peoples on earth
will be blessed through you. CSB
The first promise was the Jews would be blessed by God and the second promise was that Abraham and his descendants would become a blessing to all peoples of the world. Which part of this covenant did the Jews like? Which part do we like? Everyone likes the part where we are promised to be blessed by God, but not everyone is ready to embrace becoming a blessing to others. It was God’s intention from the very start that the Jews would become a missionary people. We learn from Genesis 12 that our God has always had a missionary heart.
So, Jesus’ actions are exposing the ugly prejudices his disciples held against the Gentiles and women by voicing their concerns. But, what was Jesus communicating to this woman by his delayed response to her? Jesus was actually complimenting this woman by testing her faith.
To cultivate a heart that avoids offense, we must let Jesus test our faith. The mother in this story is relentless in her persistence. First, Jesus ignores her and then when he starts giving her reasons why he won’t help her, she won’t give up. Interestingly, Jesus is taking one set of circumstances and using it differently in different hearts. To the disciples he was exposing their prejudice, but to this desperate mother he is testing her faith.
Jesus refers to her as a dog and amazingly she refuses to be offended by his words because there was something she wanted more. She wanted her daughter delivered from this tormenting demon. She probably knew the Jews often referred to the Gentiles as dogs in a derogatory way. Dogs at this time were not valued pets. People often had large guard dogs to protect their property, but the idea of a small lap dog was unusual. Her humility before Jesus is impressive. I don’t believe for one minute that Jesus saw her as a dog, this would be inconsistent with the missionary heart of God, but I do believe the disciples saw her as a dog and that attitude had to change.
She exercises her deep faith when she asks him, “Just give me a crumb of your power.” She knew Jesus had the power to heal her daughter and she knew it wouldn’t take much of his power. Her exceptional faith was richly rewarded, her daughter was healed and she got everything she wants.
To cultivate a heart that avoids offense, we must let Jesus expose our prejudice, and we must let Jesus test our faith. This woman refused to be offended by Jesus. Sometimes that is what faith looks like, refusing to be offended by what God is doing or what he is allowing. Jesus was going to let this woman, her daughter and his disciples see his healing power, but not before confronting some issues in their lives.
Listen to these words about John the Baptist in Luke 7:20-23.
20 When the men reached him, they said, “John the Baptist sent us to ask you, ‘Are you the one who is to come, or should we expect someone else?’”
21 At that time Jesus healed many people of diseases, afflictions, and evil spirits, and he granted sight to many blind people. 22 He replied to them, “Go and report to John what you have seen and heard: The blind receive their sight, the lame walk, those with leprosy are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the poor are told the good news, 23 and blessed is the one who isn’t offended by me.” CSB
Jesus said, “Blessed is the one who isn’t offended by me.” How can we protect ourselves from being offended by God?
