Kraft singles: unnatural. Evangelical culture: something is wrong with you if you’re not married. “What’s wrong with you?” Expectation: milestone.
The Bible? Singles are natural. 46% of adults are single.
Dangers: Culture: use your singleness for you.
Good news for the real world.
1 Cor 7:7: Paul: single. Widower? Abandoned? Radical! Jewish men were required to get married and beget children. Rabbi Eleazar (2nd C): “Any man who has no wife is no proper man.” Singleness is natural. Jesus. Paul.
The myth of the gift of singleness. Where has God placed you today? That is where he is calling you. Don’t judge God’s calling based on your feelings.
“In my singleness God asks, “Am I enough for you?” and “Do you trust me, even when it doesn’t look like life is going how you wanted?”
Can you wait on God? The Christian life is waiting.
“Until I truly met Him in the throne room and released my fear of living a life alone did I realize that I have abundance in my singleness. I replaced my fear (still a work in progress) with a willingness to give up my idea of what my life should look like instead of what He has for me.”
“In the Christian life there are no waiting rooms where we wait and “get through” until the next good season starts. God is behind our seasons.”
Gift isn’t the box. It’s what’s in the box.
Story of two friends:
- Seeking to find the one who would make him happy. Dating apps. Heartache. Battling addiction.
- Walking in the freedom of God’s gift in this season. House a place of hospitality. A mentor.
1 Cor 7:8-9: “Burn”– Jesus offers significant warnings about lust—it’s better to cut off your hand or remove your eye. Not a free pass on lust. Paul is not saying that your wife/husband is not a sexual escape hatch. Warning to those married young. Danger of selfishness. Broader friendships.
“The hardest part for me is being obedient in the waiting. God is teaching me to trust him with my longing for intimacy.”
1 Cor. 7:27-28: Marriage = worldly trouble. Plants for Camille’s room. Every purchase is a commitment.
“In my experience, singleness has opened significant space for me to pursue God’s purposes with greater focus and freedom.”
1 Cor. 7:32-35: Don’t run out of a hard marriage. Priorities of a married couple are clear. Singles have freedom. Secure undivided devotion to the Lord.
If marriage is a shade of the ultimate reality, it is a benefit to live closer to that ultimate reality now.
Jesus: we will all be single forever: Matt. 22:30. Everybody is single once and many will be single again.
How are you using your singleness?
“Singleness is not a deficiency, nor is marriage a guarantee of fulfillment. Both are gifts from God, each with their own joys and challenges. My journey has taught me that in singleness, God (reminds me of) His sufficiency.”
3 applications:
- Your identity is in Christ, not in your singleness.
Where has God called you today? Planners—sit and wait with the Lord. Identity: Bride of Christ. Body of Christ.
“Ultimately, whether single or married, our identity and purpose are rooted not in our relationship status but in our relationship with Christ. We are called to glorify God in whatever season He places us, trusting that He is both sufficient and purposeful in His design.”
- You are made for intimacy. Knowing and being known. Community. No tiers.
Do you need to shut down your yearning?
Singles: thick friendship. Sam Allberry 7 Myths About Singleness: singleness doesn’t mean you don’t have intimacy or family.
“Being in the secret place with him and reading my Bible are the two most satisfying places in the world for my soul because it is in those places I feel intimacy with him. Nearness. Presence. I never want to leave.”
“I think I’m more sensitive to pray for others around me.”
“The hardest part of singleness is its solitude. There are moments—whether attending a ball game, a concert, a dinner out, or even holiday functions—where I feel an absence of a companion most deeply.”
“God separated me from harmful, unhealthy, and depleting relationships. He replaced these relationships with authentic life-giving relationships with sisters and brothers in Christ.”
“I will also raise a challenge to the married, and parents. Invite the single friends in your life into your daily activities. You might be busy with soccer practice on Tuesday night when someone asks to hang out. Instead of saying your busy, go ahead and invite them to hang out at soccer practice.”
“The married friends in my life that invite me into their daily life, we have such a deeper friendship than those that only hang out when they are “free”. Life is meant to be lived together, so whether it’s family dinner or a family outing at the park, invite the single friends and bring them along. We crave relationship and having a family incorporate you into their daily mundane activities is something special.”
- You are made to serve.
You have gifts for God’s people.
“Singleness has been both a calling and a stewardship, enabling me to live with a concentrated devotion to the work of the Lord.”
“In the Christian life there are no waiting rooms where we wait and “get through” until the next good season starts. God is behind our seasons.”
Communion: the family of God
1 Cor. 11:28-29
Bread: Christ’s body was broken so we could be his body.
Cup: Christ’s blood was shed so we could be his family.
